Joe “Black”, Hat In Hand

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This is what you don’t know about this boy. That when I “met” him some time back, he had just been kicked out of school and he was back home in Majengo slums in Kitui with his grandfather. He was standing at the very precipice of doom and ready be a part of the narrative of hopelessness that surrounded him. I hosted him here and you all went gaga about him, and encouraged him and told him to get his ass back to school; that he had a more promising future than he imagined. What you don’t know is what that did to his self-esteem. He felt that someone actually cared. A whole legion of strangers cared. You cheered him on, with your words of encouragement and you told him he could write, which is what every budding writer wants, no, prays to hear. His life changed. He got a sponsor for his secondary education. He went to a better school. And stayed in school. He sat his KSCE exams last year.

His results are out and I will let him reveal his scores to you himself. He’s standing behind the door, with his hat in his hand because he feels he didn’t do his best. I honestly thought he would do much worse and I told him as much. Before writing his piece, he constantly asked me, “What will the Gang think? What do you think they will say?” He told me that he is willing to go back to fourth form to give it another shot. I don’t know about that.

Joe Munuve is at this beautiful but crucial point in his life where he needs direction and a hand. That he has a promising future as a writer isn’t in doubt. He wants to do literature. He wants to write. But he needs to write more. He wrote this story from a cyber, which means he urgently needs a laptop. Most importantly he needs to go study what he loves. His sponsor might not be able to continue with the sponsorship going forward because her circumstances have since changed. So if you have ideas (read, some money under your mattress) please feel free to weigh in here. Anyway, let me bring out Joe.

Joe… this way please, and don’t look so sullen, for chrissake, this is not a eulogy.

***

I have been at the coast for close to a month now and I am still looking for the ‘raha’ in ‘Mombasa raha’, a near impossible task by all indications. All I have known is heat and more heat. This morning is different, though. It’s cool and breezy.

The cold, like the soft touch of a red lipped damsel, lightly caresses my skin and I feel the hairs on my arms stand. I have a slight shiver, a tremor that stems from the thought of the future and takes root in the gloominess of the day. A chill that has nothing to do with the weather. My palms are shaky and sweaty.  My phone slips. I duck and catch it before it hits the water then lean back and stare at the sea once more, watching as the foamy waves crash against the rocks, disintegrating into a thousand drops that fill my vision with a haze of blue.

I have come to cool my heels at the beach. I thought it prudent to get my KCSE results at sea. There is something about the sea at dawn.  An overwhelming ambience that stirs the pacifist in you. Makes you want to put on purple robes and go help Kony find inner peace. There are only a smattering of people around at this hour; a paunchy mzungu jogging in the sand and weather-beaten fishermen bringing their boats to shore. I wonder what they think of me. Human judgment is always close at hand. From where I sit, I can clearly see that there is no hope for the white guy doing rounds in the sand. What with his spilling gut, pouches of skin hanging from his massive belly and matted white hairs on his chest, he has as much chance of getting fit as Alek Wek has of passing for a mulatto. When he casts me furtive glances, I wonder, is it my complexion he’s gaping at or does he somehow know I am a spineless blighter waiting for his fate to be determined by a bloody text? What right do I have to judge his efforts anyway?

That jolts me and propels me with an unknown but welcome courage. I quickly send my index to the number provided.

KNEC got their machines fixed alright. Damn reply comes way before the delivery report (people with my type of phones know what I mean). I click it. Nothing. Click it again. Nothing. Run a finger all over the screen which in turn remains, unresponsive. Chinese phones choose the weirdest moments to hang. I can see the reply on the notification bar and this only serves to intensify my irritation. I am tempted to throw the damn thing into the water and watch its lifeless body being washed back to its oriental origins. Mockingly, the phone unlocks and all my previous irritation mutates to a sickening anxiety. I look at the content of the message, look away and then look some.

I have scored a B- of 58 points or so the text reads. This cannot be right, I think. Disbelief engulfs me. But it is misguided disbelief. I can already feel that familiar headiness that comes with crushing finality. There is no mistaking the Spartan wording characteristic of bureaucratic accuracy. That is my grade.

WhatsApp messages stream flood my phone in a chorus of beeps, beeps that knock on my brain incessantly. I make a mental note to change the goddamn tone later. Peeps are posting their results on the school’s WhatsApp group. D’s, D’s, the occasional C. It’s serious. And it’s bad. This is failure. This type of flopping, though, is something I have not encountered. I post mine too. Talk to the guys. Memes flow in. Everybody’s failed but that as a fact is quickly swept under the rug and the somber atmosphere is infused with the off handedness and deceitful humour of group mentality. At first we comfort each other, finding solace in togetherness then the chat trickles to a few isolated messages of poor souls trying to put brave faces which in time dissolves into nothingness.

The phone’s silence, just like it does for the others, forces me to ponder my results. I recall how I came onto this platform and left red stains of my lust for a good grade all over it. My own words come back to haunt me. I like to think of myself as intellectual and somewhat mature. Just as a matter of fact and not in a cocky way. This, however, is one of those moments when life throws something at you that reduces you to a helpless kid. The straight path that I thought I was following has drifted off to a dead end and I am at a loss at what to do. My grade cannot take me to campus, not on the government basis like I had hoped for. I look upwards to the heavens and all I see is my dreams flying away.

The thought of all that I have lost stirs up images of how it all happened. Something does not click. I took the exam. I have taken many exams. Four years of dealing with exams has left me with a knack of approximating my score. How could it be that of all the exams I have taken in high school, I was to get the lowest grade in the final one? I feel robbed. Question marks pop into my head. Business, CRE and Biology questions float about; papers that I did and handed over with a smile. My initial disappointment slowly gives way to anger. It feels good to have something to lash at. It breaks the fall. My sponsor calls and I reflexively pick up the call then go dumb. What to tell her? She is a formidable woman. How do you begin to explain failure to someone who, by virtue of where her career has advanced, has made very few mistakes? The talk is good though. She tells me not to beat myself up, I have done well.

The call sobers me up. I realize that it is not a situation to cry foul over. Who would listen anyway? Who would believe that my efforts were worth more than a B-? How would I begin to explain? To what end? I am not sure what exactly it was but something went on during the marking. If I was none the wiser I would have pursued it to the end but unfortunately, we live in a country with minuscule integrity levels.

The tide rises and falls. I feel at one with the sea. Blue. I glance at it hoping to find the answer to the question I must answer soon. What now? The sea glares back. I turn to gang.

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147 Comments
  1. First on the gang list here…Hello Joe, first all, congrats, B- ain’t as bad as it looks from where you sit. I got way less than that and as much as i may not be where i envisioned I ll be at this point, I ve certainly made something out of my self, …my advice, look at the future, hang on it by its coattails, there’s something bright out there. You ll be great. I believe.

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    1. Joe needs to know I got his exact mark in the same exam 15 years ago. That has not prevented me from being a leader and a scholar at it!

  2. Don’t beat yourself son, you did well. Grades don’t make a man, what you learn from education is what will shape you. You wrote well and ‘we’ the gang appreciated your work even when all you had was a Primary Certificate.

      1. Very true grades don’t make a man. Character makes a man. If you can go out in the public and have a dozen people who have interacted with you for more than four years have more good to say about you than bad, you are a man of character.

  3. put that hat on…you are riding on the shoulder of a giant with the backing of a gang. you did good but could have done better. this writing is another exam, will you do better or will you sit back and whine about a sailed ship..we don’t report here because Biko has a degree, we do it because he can write.

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    1. we don’t report here because Biko has a degree, we do it because he can write. Grasp that and run with it

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  4. Joe , I felt exactly the same way when i received my results . I was disappointed and angry at myself . I had 63 points . Guess what was the cut off to uni? 64 points for girls!! By then , i never knew i could put my feelings to paper ( i always chew it afterwards) , so drowned them with every edible particle that came my way . 8 years down the line , I am happy i sobered up, and knew exactly what i wanted to do .though it took me 2 bloody freaking years !! Make a sober decision , the earlier the better . All the best Joe

    1. Great advice to Joe, i had 64 and the JAB cut off was 65. I have struggled to make ends meet but am proud of where i am at the moment. To God be the glory! As for Joe, never give up son, God is real!

  5. Joe, when this started i thought you’d say you got a D. Now that would have broken my heart! A B- on the other hand is not bad if you ask me and I don’t think you need to redo fourth form. You did well, Joe. Cheer up, chin up and believe that the God who picked you up is not done with you.

    1. *The God who picked you up is not done with you*….so powerful.

      If the wind will not serve, take the oars Joe…there are always many paths to a place. You are destined for greatness.

      1. “…The God who picked you up is not done with you…” Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people, the ones who really belong in your life will come to you. Shut down the hype of life and be a man of character.

  6. Over to you the “bikozulu gang” Joe has presented his case before your jury. What would be your take on it? I am still hesitant to offer my comments. He heee! Talk of sitting on the fence. Yes I am a fence sitter like some of our politicians.

  7. Mr. Munuve, that grade is not what you wanted but its what you have.Work with it! What you do from now is what matters.People have excelled without government sponsorship.

  8. Hey Joe,I would want to encourage you not to go back to give it a try. Pursue what you want right now. i scored the same grade,and i must say i am way far better than peeps who scored As. i followed my passion and its working well.

  9. Joe Black,take heart. The nature shall provide you with all the answers you need. The sea is yours. Your mind is one with it. The waves and tide come rocking and that is the most important experience than the papers you did.

    Keep writing.

  10. My best friend’s mum will always ask him this question when he failed an exam. I did not understand till i found myself in his “shoes”.
    I asked myself the same question his mum asked him “Did you put in your best?”.

    Joe, i will ask you the same question “Did you put in your best?” Interesting enough, my best friend did not tell me his response.
    All is well Joe, all is well.

  11. I read your first piece, and now this. There is something in your writing that the world needs to read, I will read your blog, column, and books. I know a few who would subscribe too. Don’t give up.

  12. You did good Joe black, its the effort that matters , now look to the future in ten years twenty years those grades wont matter at all its what you will have put into your life all the best

  13. Is this Joe black guy real, I have a feeling that the way he writes, He is much smarter than a B- student. Who thinks there is need for a remarking? Great article though

  14. This morning I heard someone say, “Mungu hakulangi muguka, ati akimada anakutema” (Translation: God does not chew miraa…) He’s not done with you, B- or not, you’re definately destined for greatness.

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  15. Many of us doing well professionally failed or scored average in an important exam. We still got ahead..there are many roads to heaven. Go for remarking, re-sit the exams, whatever…keep moving forward, never give up ….ever…

  16. Hey Joe it’s certainly not the end of the road. Congrats man you!! I had that very grade a decade ago felt frustrated and angered but I picked up the pieces went to Uni even though I was sure I couldn’t afford it but I not only finished but finished with the highest honors, I’m leaving the country in a couple of months on a fully paid scholarship to one of the finest media schools in Europe.

    Don’t let this stop you, let it fuel your ambition to be the best, I’ll follow up and see how to help you.

  17. Have been waiting for this post you would be forgiven to think i was in the exam room with you. Congratulations Joe. You passed. I feel the need to encourage you because i was in your shoes afew years back. I scored a C+ and man did i hate myself. Looking back now, i shouldn’t have.

    And Biko, i have no money under the mattress but this young lad here is destined for greatness…..

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  18. Well, honestly i think Joe did well, he tried his best and in cases like this i don’t think he should beat himself up over it. He is a brilliant writer, yenyewe if i did not know his age i would have said that Joe Black is a graduate of sorts from a prestigious Uni.

    Joe, you already have a bright future ahead of you, don’t let the grade cloud your aspiration. Far as i can tell you have performed much better than your pals.

    Besides, by the Grace of God you have landed yourself in the pad of a very prolific writer, Biko. From this perspective i think your future is pretty much sorted out. I will not be surprised when another sponsor takes you through campus.People read this blog, it’s just a matter of time.

    Al the best, in sha Allah, lots of gratitude to the generous, kind hearted lady who saw you through high school, and Biko who through this platform has endeared you to our hearts. Joe, people like these are very rare to find, remember them in all your prayers!

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  19. When I started reading this I thought you scored a D or worse. My 2 cents – don’t repeat – move and look forward.

    Let us know what you would like to pursue and where and what it will take on a semester or yearly basis to get there. I have faith that we can gang up our resources and give you a leg up.

  20. A good grade you can make wonders with if you put your heart it some of us got grades that are lufe threatening

  21. Hey Joe, great grades are good, but I know a ton of people who are not necessarily better off just because of the grades that they got. I think what makes the difference in life is what you DO with whatever you have…I applaud your writing, at least you have a clue what interests you- I know there is a way for you, don’t look behind too long, your whole life is ahead of you- a blank canvas and a pencil at hand. Joe, what will you draw?
    Shut the noise in your head, SEE what it is you want to pursue and find a way- there is always one. All the best…

    1. Well said Dorcas…’atleast you have a clue of what interests you’…most people go through life without ever finding their passion. Write Joe, I will read…

  22. Hey Joe ,congratulations.B- is a good score.I have met intelligent,wise men and women who never scored in their exams. When I meet people I have come to realize the people who live from their hearts are not afraid of failing or making mistakes or even being vulnerable. Trust in life,the bad feeling will pass away and life will show you where you need to go. Do not let anyone or anything tame your heart.

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  23. Don’t beat yourself up….unless you wanted to do Med..then DO..heh heh nway i think you should focus on a future in writing.so many colleges you can join now(except errr aviation) F*** JAB/GOK..go do something towards that line its clear its your passion..im sure the teacher that marked your composition(do they still do those?)thoroughly enjoyed your writing and so do we…A LOT!!!..so stop mopping and start writing….

  24. Hey Joe. Wow!! Your writing blew me away. I admire descriptive writers like you, Biko and my younger sister. The exquisite attention always gets to me every time. Do not be too hard on yourself. As my lecturers always tell me, the marks that I get, I EARNED them. This is a page in a chapter of your life. Own it and then do something about it.

  25. I don’t know the despondency in Joe by all accounts he did well a word of caution though
    as he takes the plunge into the cruel world he must have the courage to shuffle the cards he was dealt with ,I notice the subtlety with which he wanted to apportion his grades to the rot in our society I do not think Joe we have sunk that low yet brace yourself I have a feeling good things are coming your way

    1. I couldn’t have put it better Omar……. there are integrity issues but we have definitely not sank that low!

  26. Joe Black, STOP!!! STOP thinking of the grade. Repeating is a no go zone for you. You performed very well. Congratulations. As for the future, I assure you if you stop beating yourself and start creating a blog, website, heck even start writing a book, you will soon employ people who got the A’s and A-‘s. A grade does not and will NEVER EVER define you and your future path.

    Go ahead and start writing. I am more than willing to support you to achieve the best in life. I got ugly grades in high school but i made it. You have my support, the little i can but i am very particular. You MUST have a SMART plan before you approach me. Have a mentor. I am tough but ready to support you. Word of advise – This world is mean and very ugly if you allow it, otherwise is the most beautiful place to be in.

    1. @pricetagg, well put and very encouraging too. This world is indeed mean and ugly yes, people will abuse others to prosper, choose wisely who you open up to and associate with as you grow older. You have incredible talent Joe.

  27. Joe, we all have expectations and it so happens that you didn’t make your target grade for the all important exam. Everything happens for a reason. The mere fact that you made it to sit the exam is a miracle and an inspirational journey. I would say mourn your loss, weigh your options carefully and work with what you have.
    You’ll definitely do alright…have you read your articles/posts lately? You’re AWESOME!!!

  28. Joe black, go back where Joe black? I scored the same, defied all odds, did my actuarial degree though i had a passion for writing. i’m seated behind a desk now crunching numbers and wish i had done what i loved most than what my folks loved.

    the future is very bright. you just need to be street smart (look at Biko 🙂 )

  29. cograts Munuve. B- is not a bad grade. 8 yrs ago i got the same grade as you and failed in maths which was my best subject. i should have gone to cumpus if not 4 maths. But i went ahead brigded it then to cumpus and out with 2nd class honors in finance. now am an accountant. take heart, you are good at writing. Go for a diploma in whatever you wanted to study n then a degree if you get i sponsor. Biko please help joe with his writing. He is soo good and talented .

  30. A B- is a big try for you Joe given the circumstances. If you still feel that giving it a 2nd shot will make you feel whole please do it as soon as you get a sponsor. You have so many years to write so sacrifice this one more year and you will make it.
    I am personally back to school even if i had a lucrative job. I had to resign.

  31. Congrats namesake… forge ahead the future is as wide as the ocean just for you to sail your ship….

  32. kijana umepita. I know of a lot of people who scored less than you and they are now ultra successful…. education just increases your chances of being okay. but it is never the benchmark. some passed with flying colours and that was their downfall. Chin up. Man up. And write till your fingers bleed. Then write some more. Kudos for passing your exam. All the best

  33. Well, good grades matters alright but there is more to that.
    Let your dreams and passion be your anchor and sure enough you will have a safe harbour .

  34. Good Job Joe “Black”. I ave waited for this post for long. You will do great, stay focused and you will soar higher than you ever imagined.

  35. As someone has said above..We dont report here coz Biko got a degree..and personally I think you are amaizing already…I cant say I identify with your situation..I passed but I would exchange that for the gift that you have and the position that you are at.

  36. Joe, you are better of. Your mindset will make you what you want to be not the grade. Forget that and soldier on as if it never happened.

  37. Joe you did well,there is no need to repeat,not when you have talent like this.never ever let your grades determine who you are.
    A very wise person told me that the best careers are born out of passion. Your passion is writing,make a career out of it.
    You can guarantee that I will be your number 1 fan.
    Psssst I also got a B- and I am doing pretty well,Dont wallow for too long….

  38. Joe, you did well. Focus on the future, which I believe will be great. I scored the same grade and if I continued beating myself up then, I would not be where I am now.
    Be encouraged!

  39. I scored an A- with 80 points. I went ahead to do a course in campus that i don’t see taking me anywhere.God, I hate it! Its like i made a fool of myself in campus pursuing that course. Grades don’t make a man, grades don’t determine the direction of your career. Passion does. Just like you I want to write for the rest of my stretch ahead. Keep it real buddy and all the best in the decisions ahead.

  40. Hey Joe, that’s a good grade. Don’t beat yourself up. I got the same grade in my KCSE and today I hold a PhD from the University of Edinburgh, UK. Oh, and by the way I come from Kitui, Majengo. Talk to me, I’ll help you in every way I can. You have a promising career as a writer, I like your piece.

    1. I know you Carol Hunja…
      And I totally agree, grades don’t maketh a man.
      Joe, Many people out here are struggling to find their passion/talent, you already know yours. I’d say you are halfway there. Sail on Sailor

  41. Hey you passed man! I did the whole repeating thing, it is not worth the effort, you will feel old. Finally got that off my chest…..

    About what next, do Biko’s class, he should be able to sponsor that at least, meanwhile check out any job (as long as it is honest legal work) get some experience under your belt and believe me the experience you get from any job is invaluable you will use those lessons some time in the future trust me on that!

    Gang, anyone with an honest kibarua give this young man, keep him engaged and teach him how to make an honest living as he pursues his passion in writing.

  42. You will make it Joe, but before you do, you have to believe it first. Don’t repeat because you have nothing to prove. You are brilliant and we all know that. Question is, do YOU know that?

  43. Joe Black.

    What is it you want to do? Go look for that degree program and come back. Tell us where and how much it is. God gave you a sponsor for High School. He can give you one for University.

    Get up and dust yourself son.

    1. I agree with Waci, look for that course that you want to pursue, come back and tell us where and how much it is Joe.
      Your honesty and passion as seen in your writing will take you further than any academic grade will.

  44. Joe black,congrats.Its not what you wanted but it’s what you got.I got a B+ years back,went to campus and crammed my way through. But now i’m jobless.I meet my classmates who I beat in the finals and they are waay ahead of me.Point is,mark smart decisions,not based on that grade.Follow your passion,be the best writer there will ever be and don’t you look back at that B-,it will slow you down.All things happen for a reason,its not the end of the world.Trust God,He’s got this.

  45. JOE congrats B minus is not a bad grade bearing in mind your circumstances, btw English ulipata ngapi ? If not an A plain we the gang have enough reason to petition Knec for a full remarking! Go ahead bro dont let remorse cloud your future, Good grades only open the door for u, creativity and being street smart gets you a seat and this u have in abundance!!

  46. Hullo Joe. First of all, great writing.

    Second, I am a tad hesitant to dole out advice, about your grades, because I think they will be biased, based on my experiences, which might not be fair seeing that don’t know squat about your circumstances. Now that does not mean that I look down on advice being dished out here… No! The good Dames n’ Charlies here mean well and have a point. I think you did good. (Lord knows there‘s loads who will sneer at that grade, but loads more who’d kill to get it too!)

    The direction you take from here is solely yours. You got good people who can nudge you this way and that, in Biko and the Gang, but goddamit, the buck stop with you.

    You got something going right here with the writing, and a fan base to boot. Why don’t you cultivate that? (While thinking about your academics direction of course.) Who knows you might be giving Deepak Chopra, a run for his money some day.

    Oh, If I hadn’t said it before, GREAT WRITING!

  47. This is the one reason national exams must be abandoned. Joe “Black” wrote:

    Our education system is designed in such a way that a piece of paper could make you or break you. A certificate, regardless of whether ’tis issued by the KNEC or some geek at river road is what you need to realise your dreams. Unless you got cash. The doors that dough could open are countless. Notice the similarity in pronunciation?

    This dude got talent, he needs no paper to excel.

  48. I think what he is asking is, “what next from here? what course to pursue that I won’t regret in future? who will fund my parallel program now that JAB is not an easy option? Does anyone has an old laptop to spare?”

    1. I was thinking on exactly those same lines Magunga. The uncertainty of the future gets even the best of us. Don’t fret Joe, keep walking

  49. Joe? Take a step of faith and research on the course you want to take in Uni. You’ll have to apply for funding like Helb.

    Gang? For those willing we can contribute toward’s Joe’s fees for say the 1st semester and even more. I believe most schools start in August.

    I’m just thinking that if 100 Gang members contribute 1000 each, that would be enough for the 1st sem…

    How can I and others who would like to contribute get in touch with you Biko or Joe?

    1. I’m in… Just let me know how to chip in. The 100 Gang Members for Joe Black (Please do not # this) seems plausible.

  50. Considering where you have been, I say congratulations without hesitating. Always remember papers, grades and positions do not run anything; we, the people, run things. It’s your turn, make things happen.

  51. Well done Joe Black! Now that you have cleared high school, no turning back! Think and weigh your priorities. What is your passion? What do you see your self doing happily every morning for the next 20 years? What comes natural to you? Talk to Biko and others and get a plan for your next steps. You have the whole of your life ahead of you, do not let that B- define you. That was KCSE not your life plan!
    Biko please keep holding Joe’s hand on behalf of the gang, and teach him the ropes!

  52. Hey Joe,

    Please don’t go back to school. I did go back and l believe it was a mistake :(..
    With a B- your dreams can come true, don’t let them fly away yet.

    Shugu

  53. This is why I don’t like exams!!! you put your best foot forward, soak in what you enjoy doing that will put food on the table now and in the future, you did well! focus focus focus! and have the right mindset, and soak into the world there is a lot it can offer.

  54. The B- is just a bloody letter on a text. Nobody cares about it after the next few weeks of jubilation.
    The real struggle sets in once you figure out what you want to do in life. I did well in my KCSE and I think, nay, I know I would be doing just as good now if I had a D.

  55. Joe, you’ve done well! I am proud…and from reading the comments here, it seems the Gang is proud as well. The decision you make at this point is what will determine your future..not the KCSE certificate. You have an amazing writing talent…keep up with that!

  56. Sweetheart you cannot reduce the fate of your life to one exam and especially not this overrated exam system we have in our country. You have to rise up and walk.

    This is not the end of the journey, it is the beginning of an exciting one. You have not failed, B- is good enough. You can walk into a good credited college and take journalism, we’ve seen your potential, you have Biko as your God father. You are so well placed Joe.

    Sit down and ask yourself what you want to do in future. If going back to fourth form, is what your heart tells you is right, then do it, but consider other avenues too. All you have to do is make sure what you are doing is based on your dreams and not your fears.

    Your fears are as hungry as your dreams son, make sure you feed the right child.

    Focus on the solution, that way, you will never see the dangers, and what will become of you is a fearless Joe Black.

    God himself has commanded you, be strong and of good courage. Fear not, for I am with you.

    Now don’t you seat there and beat yourself up, rise up and walk.

  57. Joe, you’re on the right path to greatness. Biko and the gang will always have your back. They say the B and C student employs the A student!!

  58. Congratulations to our very own Joe Black!! KCSE results never maketh man, you still have a lot of living to do and this is just one of the milestones. We are rooting for you and know you are made of tough stuff to see you through to the stars, here is to #lifemiles!

  59. You have done well Joe. As a young lad, you still have a long way to go. Build your character and enhance your talent. Talent in a rotten character will amount to nothing. Character trumps talent any day, any given time.

    1. Profound! …..talent in a rotten character will amount to nothing eventually….You couldn’t have given better advise to this young and talented man. Be the friend you seek, real friends are rare. Have integrity and honesty will take you places.

    2. “Talent in a rotten character will amount Very to nothing”. Very true Hellen. We see alot of that around us everyday.

  60. Joe.B- isn’t half bad.When you are done wiping your tears tell us what direction you want to take and how we can help you get there.

  61. Joe, I have never left a comment here but I feel an urge to do so today. You don’t need to go back to school. You also don’t need anybody’s money. You already have Biko’s tutelage and this gangs hallowed approval.
    If I were you I would get someone to get me a desktop and pester Biko to introduce me to a few editors. Then I would let my writing take me to college. All you need is you.

  62. Hey Joe Black, Congratulations! You have done well. The grade may not get you into campus through government sponsorship, but if campus is what you want campus you can still get. You are lucky to have the Gang egging you on and an idea of who you want to be, work with that it will get you places. All you need is determination and focus, so don’t limit yourself. Once the “mourning” is over, pick yourself up dust yourself off and get going, don’t mourn too long….

  63. Congratulations Joe, when I sat for my KCSE exams, I got way below that a C – Plain. but the thought of repeating was not appealing to me and I decided to make it work, Years down the line, I have realized that it is one’s hard work and not the papers that makes them or breaks them for that matter.

    Chin up, you have passed…

  64. A bright future ahead you have. First, establish what you would like to do and Biko will post it here. Based on all these positive comments, its outright you are our darling ‘boy’. Do not loose focus at this age. On the contrary, you should engage you mind fully on your bright future. All the best young man!

  65. Joe, I have worked as a newspaper editor and I have had the chance of offering wet behind the ears young men and women with grades far worse than yours the chance to be journalists. And they proved themselves. A good example is a pal who passed on last week. Joined our office as a cleaner but was a talented writer. We gave him the chance and he went ahead to be one of the best journalists and later PR practitioners of his generation. You have the talent which nobody- not even the chaps at KNEC- can take away from you. As they say in the armed forces, from now it’s forward march for you buddy!

  66. Joe take heart. B do not make or determine anyone’s future. The effort you put to prove that the grade did not matter is what determines where you will land in life. Do what you love. You have a passion in writing and better yet you are really really talented. Use that as a goal maybe even as a boost for your confidence and use it to determine where you want to finally end in life. Remember its not your parents or even friends who make your fate, only God and you have that benefit.

  67. I can definitely feel the frustration of not getting the grade you wanted to get. But that should only propel you to want so much more for yourself. Congratulations. You did well. This is just the beginning of life not panning out according to your plans. It will happen more often. You will learn to make lemonade out of lemons. But from your writing, I feel like the sky is the limit for you Joe.

    PS. After it all sinks in, you can let us know how to support you. 🙂

  68. Joe congrats good work……I got less than that and I must say am not doing bad at all working on my second Masters. Trust Jesus the best is yet to come :-).

  69. Joe, first of all congratulations…you have done well. I know people who got lower grades than you did and are at the top of the corporate ladder as we speak! I think it has something to do with being an underdog…it gives you more resilience and determination than when you seem to have everything worked out for you. I have seen it happen time and again.
    Also, learn to play the cards you are dealt. That’s life! Don’t look for a scapegoat in KNEC or anything else, especially in this country where we can never run out of things to blame. It is up to you to decide what the rest of your life will be and also trust that God has a great plan for you.
    Begin by doing some research, find out what course you want to do and where and then let us know. We could chip in and help get you there or you might get a sponsor who is impressed by your initiative.
    All the best Joe, you are gonna go far my friend!

  70. aaaawww!!! this boy sounds so lost… You Kenyans do harambees, right? Why not one for Joe? An M-pesa number any one? If Kenyan uni too expensive he can come to Uganda, KIU….. Besides it is a Kenyan University in Uganda. There are more Wanjikus there than Ugandans!

  71. Joe, koro? You are hosted by Biko The Great so I hope you have started picking up some vocabulary bwana (insert jaluo accccennntt 🙂 Here is what I know:

    -I’ve been out the system for a while so I’m not totally cognizant of the weight of a B- in light of everything, but from most of these comments, doesn’t sound like you’ve done too shabbily for yourself. After all, your peers scored mostly Ds from what you say so that alone is success.
    -Second, I’m from the school of thought that says mourn. Cry. Scream. So yes, beat up on yourself. It’s all part of the healing and the picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. So gnash your teeth, put on sack cloth, apply ash to your skin… and then get on with the business of living.
    -I personally wouldn’t rewind. I don’t know how much better of a grade an extra year will give you. It will be a year wrought with anxiety and very high standards. Eh. Me, I’m moving on.
    -I sense much humility in your writing here – much more than I sensed in your first writing. It was a bit cocky, I thought, your cherry article. So for me this is great growth and improvement. The humility may come from the subject matter, but I sense it is more than that. And that I didn’t at first read pick out any grammatical or spelling errors is an extra win. Yes, I’m one of those English Language Nazis Biko mentioned at last post (as everyone goes back and tries to proofread me, mschew!) . Easily correctable errors make my teeth itch. Hey, I can’t help it 😉
    -Work your process, Joe. Find your method of healing. I totally buy your idea of -you know yourself, and you feel you did better-. I get that. Try to work through the injustice you are feeling, but don’t let it hold you back, ok? Just do your best always as someone above mentioned, and as my own mother always tells me: *you can’t do better than your best*.

    Enjoy pwani. Take as long as you need in the depths of the blue, but come out on the other side, hear? Cheers mate.

  72. Your situation is not any bad,make the best of what you already have..atleast you already have a direction to your passion.
    You are a good writer Joe.

  73. You write so well. Work on your passion. Grades should not define who you are. Its what you do with those grades that defines what you are made off. You have a bright future ahead

  74. Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!
    Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

    Fortune favors the bold

  75. Joe, you are a writer, a good one. I smelt the sea, I saw the paunchy white man I even feel like I saw you on the beach.

    Be proud of what you have accomplished academically and in your writing.

    Be confident that you will go far.

    Do not be afraid to ask for help where you need it and be quick to show what you can do.

    That said, who has a laptop they can sell at a subsidized price to this young man and we all contribute??

    There’s enough of us who have commented on this thread to raise the required cash.

  76. I also felt like I failed when I sat my exams. I was a mark away from an A- and I’d attended national schools. 5years latter, that grade haunts me. You did well, that feeling of regret can ‘power’ you forward but don’t fixate and let it drag you down.

  77. Hey Joe, congratulations, getting a B- is not a mean achievement. Thank God that you can get into University even though through the parallel program. I was like you, I got a B-, I had been taken through high school by my aunties. They could not take me through the Parallel Program. I was taken to a college to study secretarial. God is faithful, after completion, I got a job which eventually enabled me to save, take a loan and take myself to University. My dream had always been to do a Bcom, guess what, I did it and I got a first class honours. Am not bragging, am just letting you know that its not as bad as it seems. What I realized is that I had not worked as hard as I should have in High School and I compensated for that in campus. I also realized that I am a gifted person, like yourself, I may not necessarily do well in class all the time but I am gifted. I encourage you to read more about giftedness. You can start here http://talentdevelop.com/articles/GPATP1.html. I believe the key is understanding yourself and the grade will not mean much. Meanwhile, maybe Biko can assist you in getting a slot in the Dailies because you definitely have a gift of writing, just like Biko, all the best. Dust yourself, greatness is awaiting, it may take time, like all good things, but you shall get there.

  78. Oh please Joe!! Some of us had better grades than those and others had worse but we are all here reading what you are writing and appreciating your talent!

    High school grades only matter to high schoolers…no one cares much after a while. So, get with the program!
    That said, please don’t redo those exams, you will only waste another year of your life.

    There is also a flip side to that grade, it will make you work twice as hard in university because you will always think it defines you and you will want to prove to yourself otherwise.

    Get that course you want, we will find a way to make things possible for you! God speed mwana a mwaitu.

  79. Don’t beat yourself to it my low man. I really relate to that. I joined Njiiris high school but relinquished after an year; dad couldn’t afford it. Though he was really trying, he had more stomachs to feed. I joined a bush school that used ‘failure’ as a substitute for ‘success’ in their Motto. To them, a school was a place that reserved girls un-impregnated and made boys refrain from smoking at early age. They saw failure with little grains of success. For a decade before my final year, the best student had a C+, (that was in 2002) and I aimed for an A. I struggled with the antithesis but I gave it my best shot. I wanted to see my Njiiris acquaintances again. Thump my chest and pronounce the whole ‘bush school thing’ as my wunderkind plan. Above all I wanted to defend my father from the village mongers. From those belled,rich fathers of our village, who would occasionally say, “Sasa ona wale, si walipita primary, Wako wapi sasa?”
    When I got my results in 2010 February, I was depressed for getting a B of 66. I summoned my old man and lamented, asking for a re-match with KNEC. I believed I could beat them in their own game. Intead of telling go for it, he patted my shoulder and gave me a manly talk… I will share some words word.

    “Son, life is not about how other folks define you, neither is it how you define yourself… life is what you make yourself. The reason hard working people go far is not because they have good papers; it is because they develop a culture of toil. Despite the results, the culture grows in them. Like a forest fire neighboring an ocean. Don’t be afraid, make something out of yourself. And do it now… “The talk continued, but that is what matters.

    Again Joe, you are lucky to have biko in your speed dial. If you decide to be a writer, which you are by default, biko got your back. Some of us out here have to do things ten times wrong to get it right. We wait hungrily to get the modus operandi from the likes of biko. Lucky you, you can call across the yard… “Biko what is the difference between a simmering and a big ass”… He will just answer you.

    News are already leaking that biko might be helping some youths somewhere on 2ndA. Now April. I must be free that day. Cancel all the assignments. That is what I mean Joe. It is all about you use biko and make something great out of yourself. So far, you are making the pen ring. Go for it.

  80. Joe, what’s clear here is that you can write, you never cease to amaze me! Sometimes i think your are a fictitious character created by Biko. You write too well for a teen. You have a talent. I like the way you delivered this story about your grade only that it is not the grade you wanted. There’s always the unsettling realization and finality that comes with national exams grades but there’s life after KCSE. Take all the time you want to mop around and feel woishe for yourself, most of us went through that phase, but don’t take too long. You really don’t have to pick a career path right away, really, coz we sometimes we get confused and can end up making wrong choices, especially when we don’t have a mentor and making decisions becomes more of a gamble. Take your time but again don’t take too long. You will be ok. I know it. Just keep writing such beautiful pieces. You shall go places. Wish you all the very best. Looking forward to reading your next piece.

  81. hey joe,successs in life is not all about exams,its about passion,our socity rates us on the basis of what we score in exams.can i bring you back home to reality?very few skycrappers in nairobi are owned by guys who hold degrees.success is about passion and passion alone,irrespective of your scores in exams.go for what you feel is your calling in life,irrespective of the hurdles that lie in your path.

  82. How about you just write your way to the top? Seems to me you are perfectly cut out for the writing.

  83. Dude. So you got a B-, alafu? You look like you did your best, didn’t you? There’s nothing you can do about it let’s get that clear.
    I’ll tell you what I see, a gifted writer who turned a phase in life into words that I (very choosy) wanted to read. Clearly born for writing greatness, who cares what you got in Math.
    I don’t and am still reading. That’s what every writer wants or…

  84. Joeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…….. We love you, we’ll buy your books, we’ll read your blogs, we’ll line up to get your autograph… What else would a man want??

  85. First thing is to congratulate Joe for his performance….It wasn’t as bad as he makes it sound.You have a talent with writing and anything else should fall behind that.Your talent is far much more worth than anything else.It can make you share a meal with a king.(The Holy Bible)

  86. 70% of the candidates got C & below last year. You are in the 30%. Be angry & disappointed…not at your grades but at the entire system.

  87. Yo Black, let me tell you summfin, whatever happens keep your head up, roll with the punches and make a choice to either sink or swim because your life depends on it. am rooting for you.

  88. Your result slip doesn’t determine your payslip. Its not a must for you to get good grade, for you to get a good job so that you can get a good salary and make it in life, you can also start your own job and work hard so that you can sharpen the skills and use them in your job to get a good salary. Am sure you will be an employer someone day and you will look at this post and laugh at yourself.. You are a man, giving up is not even an option in your life

  89. Current situation doesn’t define your future, with the dynamism of today’s world a degree/or lack thereof doesn’t guarantee success or failure – case in point DJ’s without degrees more successful than a huge majority of the degreed working masses – long story short, even if you don’t manage to get into uni, there are countless more paths to choose to success, how hard you’ll pursue them will determine your future.

  90. Congrats bro, fr your grade n fr your immense general knowledge. I had to google who Alek Wek is n wat a mulatto is. If someone told me you are a fictional character that Biko created (you know how writers are, same way you created the fat mzungu character at the beach), I would believe them.

  91. Congratulations Joe Black, you did well. My advice is to forge forward, do not reseat KCSE.

    Biko, this young man needs a mentor more than the money. There are things money can’t buy…

  92. I read your work and the encouragement is great. You have done well Joe. Your personal potential is in your hands and nobody else. Your intentions rules the world and your outcome will follow. Anybody pretending to be anything other than who you are, you will never ever reach your personal potential. Prepare yourself to handle that moment of opportunity . Always do your best Joe. I wish you well and may greatness follow you.

  93. Weep. Gnash your teeth. Savor the grief. Take in the view from the bottom of that pit. Only way is up now. Start climbing.

  94. Joe, as many people have already mentioned, you passed. Successes in life is not measured by the grade one gets in class. I’m watching and waiting to see your resolution, pls count me in should you decide to pursue a course at one of the many universities a round. In the meantime Waceke Nduati seems to say something that might be of interest to you in her article “Education vs Wealth

  95. I can get him a ka laptop to start him off…stop self pity sijui blame game and start rolling with the punches now that the gun has gone off and you are still putting on your running shoes…you got lots of overtaking to do!

  96. I scored the same points and felt exactly what you are feeling… As long as you know your efforts were more than what you scored that is all that matters. Put that hurt on and follow your dreams… You will be surprised where they lead you.

  97. Dude…you got an excellent shot at education…and lo and behold you did good! cause am sure you did your best. Do not repeat that class but take the bull by the horns and proceed into the literally world by storm. It is a blessing to know and pursue your talent at such a young age, never ever waste that!! So be bold, brave and bullish and wait for the winds that will set your ship/boat asail…hugs

  98. Joe…congrats. B- is a good grade. I got way worse and I can tell for sure I didn’t know that I could get this far. Don’t beat yourself up….wake up and dust yourself. You did your best. You have a bright future ahead!

  99. I am a little late to the table but you have done well. It is good enough. However, the potential that your writing holds! Now, that’s something. That is truly something. If you start a blog, I will follow it. You’re something special. Keep at it.

  100. Joe – congratulations on passing your exams. It is unfortunate that our education system is such that you are made to feel a failure for getting a B-. You not only passed the exam, but you got an education as well. That is more than obvious from your writing and critical thinking and no selection committee can ever take that away from you.
    It is good that you are tough on yourself, that you would have wanted more, better and greater. But I will tell you this, I know a few “A grade” people who are so miserable in their lives. I know a few who can hardly get any sort of employment. And I also know of plenty of us C and B folks that are successful beyond their wildest dreams. I know a C student who is a proffessor in a University ( take that KNEC!).
    The doors to the world just opened for you. Where you go and how you get there is yet to be written, but you will get there. What a story it will be, I hope I live long to read it. Nay, I pray I live long to witness it.

    Good job kiddo.

  101. I may be the the Johnny-come-lately over here and strangely this is the first time I’m able to comment. I think miracles may be real after all.
    First off, congratulations on your results Joe. I don’t know where you are over four months down the line but I hope you have your head up there. I missed the first piece you wrote but two paragraphs into this one I could see the glimmers of greatness already. Hold that close to heart.
    I scored a straight A in 2011 and I’m clearing campus in a few months time, hopefully with a degree most would consider prestigious. Honestly sometimes I mention it to girls just to get a reaction. And it works. Almost always. It doesn’t work on me though, and I discovered that too little too late. When I have my certificate under my pillow early 2016 I’m gonna go out, name drop my course to get the young students’ attention then let them know that ain’t shit. There’s much much more to life and exam results whether brilliant or dull should never define you. But I’m here now, and I’m saying this to you. You have it clear in your mind what you want to do with your life. You have an obvious passion for and a solid gift in writing. Run with that and I promise nothing, not even Bikozulu’s forehead can catch you when you do.
    All the best mate.

  102. Joe there are exams without question papers and definitely no certificates or grades. To me you already passed many of them this much. Life is about those. Congrats