Nyumbani Kwa Mama


The tragedy of life is that we are all dating/married to a summer bunny’s Ex. Worse, we might even be dating/married to an ex-summer bunny. At work we sit across a summer bunny’s cousin, or step brother,hydrating from the same water dispenser. When we leave the office and walk to the lunch place, the little dive with three tables and a small metallic sink, and order those divine chapos the size of KOT’s ego, you will hear a summer bunny’s cousin say, “Madhe kwani today you didn’t make managus?”

When you are in traffic and you refuse to give way to that elderly lady bulldozing her way into your lane with her vintage 420 SEL, you could be blocking a summer bunny’s mom. And God is seeing you. The radios will suddenly sputter with the summer bunny’s favourite songs. Kina Fresh Prince’s Summertime. Bars will have theme nights for summer bunnies, selling buckets of beer for a discount because really, what do you drink when you are in the summer? Are you wearing the “new” Kenneth Cole scent? That was a Summer Bunny’s scent last year. Which means, to the summer bunnies, you exist in the past. You also need to upgrade your Whatsapp before you chat with a summer bunny.

And so you might not know it, but our lives are irrevocably intertwined with summer bunnies. You might say we are joined at the hip – but only if you have had too much to drink.

Humour me. Walk up to your window. Look up at the sky. See those dark clouds? See how they hang heavy? Well, get a strong wide umbrella because it’s about to rain summer bunnies. They are coming.

I have a friend who’s coming down from Minnesota. Oh, I’m sorry, did I not pronounce it correctly? “Minnesorra.” By all intents and purposes he’s a very fresh guy (when you can get past his annoying electronic cigarette). I’ve known him for 10 years now. Which means when he asked me to pick him from the airport when he touches down I said Hell yeah, because he’s my boy and it’s been a while. He will land pretty late, at about midnight, then of course he will have to go through immigration and get affronted and get indignant when our terrific KRA guys stop him and ask him what is in his mountain of suitcases. He will probably have the sleeping eyepatch stuck on his forehead or hanging under his chin, and he will most likely be in white sneakers and a heavy coat with silver buckles and a hat. He will be clutching a Blackberry – which means he will be the only soul with a Blackberry between JKIA and Kinungi.

I will be standing there at International Arrivals, hands so deep in my pockets I could be touching my knees, standing in solidarity with that wall of humanity huddling for warmth in the midnight cold, some holding up name placards, others just holding their chins against the cold.

He will finally walk out pushing what seems like his whole life on that trolley. Of course I will be thrilled to see him. His skin will look richer. He will most likely be heavier. We will embrace – five years’ worth of an embrace. He will most likely smell good; of cologne and of Schiphol Airport. We will walk out, past the army security guy with a semi-automatic weapon slung across his chest, and he will look at him briefly and I will secretly dare him to comment on anything that starts with “security”, “terrorism” or “safety.” I will be thinking, “Collo, go ahead, ask me how safe it is now. Go ahead. I dare you.” But he will be jet lagged and he will be happy to be back to motherland so he will not say a word. JKIA will surprise him as it surprises everybody else because you really have to go through most African airports to appreciate JKIA.

I once had a connecting flight through Accra Ghana at midnight. The flight was from Amsterdam or someplace, coming back home from Europe. We landed at Kotoka International Airport at midnight. It was a marketplace. It was loud and boisterous and hectic and rundown and the Ghanaian hawkers – in bathroom slippers – were there imploring you to buy spices and all sorts of merchandise and their immigration guys asked for bribes so blatantly I thought they had a daily quota. And they all looked bored and sported sad faded uniforms and everybody seemed to be speaking at the same time and laughing at the same time and the energy was through the roof which, incidentally, looked saggy and worn.

The client – Procter and Gamble – was flying us Business, so we ended up in the Premium lounge, but a Premium Lounge in Kotoka International Airport isn’t what it sounds like. The lounge looked like the staff-room of Gathaithi Primary School in Murang’a. I sat opposite a colorful and striking West African lady with terrific complexion, the longest nails I have seen outside the Harry Porter series and this ridiculously large hairstyle on her head, talking loudly into her mobile, and I wondered how that heavy-looking hairstyle hadn’t broken her neck already. Or how an owl hadn’t claimed it as his home. I bet that hair was a conversation starter: “Excuse me? Hi…hey, I’m sorry, but do you know Carol Odero?”


My summer bunny pal has said that the first thing he wants to do when he lands, even before he removes his shoes, is to have a Tusker baridi. (Pronounced Tusker beridi). If for nothing at all, you have to be there to watch a summer bunny drink his first beer or his first bite of nyam-chom. You have to watch as he pours his ka cold beer in his glass, something he has been dreaming of for a while now.

And once it’s frothed in that glass and they lift it to their lips and they close their eyes as soon as the form touches their upper lip and they tilt the glass and you watch the golden liquid drain between their lips as they gulp down the cold beer. Then watch how they swallow loudly then slowly sit the glass down and lick the thin film of foam off their lips and they have that look on their faces; a look of complete resignation.That look that says that they are surprised how good it would be to be back home.

Back to Collo.

Question: Where else can you take a summer bunny who has just landed on a Thursday? Answer: K1 Klubhouse Reggae Night, of course. Where else? Thursdays at Klubhouse is full. It’s loud. It’s hysterical. It hum and thuds. The cherry on this cake is that you are assured to find all these middle-class types in their suede Bally loafers who are too scared to go to Mad House because they are afraid rastas will steal their iPhones and step on their beloved loafers.

K1 has taken reggae music mainstream. Made it “safe for consumption” by the highly impressionable uppity Nairobi crowd. K1 has finally repackaged reggae music for the middle-class, made it cool and not as “desperate” as reggae music once seemed. There, every Thursday, you will find a whole legion of “rastas” from Nairobi’s apparently leafy ‘burbs (basically Kile guys in their dolled up and tinted Crown Majestas), jumping to Bob, swaying to Gregory and grinding to Cure. And presiding over this Jamaican middle-class hoo-hah will be the high priest himself, Kriss Darling, the pied piper, leading his flock (and their Instgram followers) to Zion.

K1 on Thursdays is where two conflicting worlds collide. A stunning cultural intersection. And here is where I will throw Collo, the summer bunny, right in the deep end  of it and I’m sure he will mostly likely run into some fine bird he went to campus or high school with (they always do), a chick in a very small dress and even smaller breasts and things will be going so well for him because she will dump her pals three tables away and she will be laughing at his Minesorra jokes, massaging the back of his neck, grinding her big ass against his distressed Pepe, they singing along to Sizzla, right up until she turns and shouts at me – mid-laughter- over a now groaning Gramps Morgan, “I’ve so missed Collo, this guy is like a brother to me,” and Collo and I will exchange that alarming look when you realise that you have just been friend-zoned. His Tusker will suddenly taste like strungi.(Is it only jangos who call it strungi? Or orungi. Hehe.) I will see him drain his beer faster than I can blink so that he can cut his losses and go get some much needed shuteye at the hotel.

The last time I wrote about the diaspora folk they got quite sore. They said I was too negative. But if we are being honest, most of us will tell you that you – summer bunnies – are hard to love. That you are mostly annoying. You are like an antibiotic without a capsule. Why are you hard to love? Because when you come home you make it look like you have come to shags. Almost like you are surprised that we have on shoes and have instant hot water shower. You come here and act like you have just been transported to 1998, and that the hottest song in the county is The Boy is Mine, by who was that again, Brandy? And that when you hear us sing along to Fetty Wap you seem surprised. Well, we hate that condescending shit.

I also would like to say that some of you are cool. It’s the bad apples that annoy us. So this isn’t a blanket generalisation.

But we want to get along with you, we have to get along because we will drink with you and house you, and drive you around and hook you up with chicks if you want. So we have to get along.

We would like to welcome you with your dollars, pounds, euros, rands and rupees. (Ati now guys from Jozi are also summer bunnies, because it’s snowing in Rosebank!) But we would also like to have you know that we are going through some trying times and all back here at home. (Aren’t we always?) First, cancer is screwing us over. Then you will notice that half of our leaders are abroad to learn about what makes good food good food. Only we aren’t calling it that, we are calling it “benchmarking tours.” Don’t laugh.The weather is unpredictable. Sossion hasn’t said a word. Strathmore University, seated in the corner, has refused to remove its foot from its mouth. You might also see a lot of Chinese people, some roasting maize by the roadside. Do what we have learnt to do; look away. And whatever you do, don’t mention Eurobond in a bar. Or outside Ambassadeur Hotel in the evening around those Luo relaz of mine in broken suits stand around holding their folded newspapers & talking politics. And so because of all these problems Kenyans on Twitter are on edge. But for all the glum happenings, at least no bombs have gone off recently (knock on wood) even though our shilling went off ages ago. And you are safe, in case you are wondering…well, you have a higher chance being shot in a drill.

We want you to remember that this is our home. YOUR home. We chose to remain behind to keep the lights on. Someone has to. It’s broken, and it keeps breaking and one day, we may hit rock bottom and then maybe we will start rising again, but it’s still home and we remain touchy about it. Ask the South Africans and the Nigerians on Twitter, who we burnt at the stake.

But please when we sit down with you for a drink, you can tell us what’s wrong with Kenya but please don’t say “you people,” when you express your comments. Not even when you are the one buying the drinks. Also don’t act surprised at things that don’t work. If a matatu cuts right in front of us, don’t look like it’s the most insane thing you have seen in your life – aside watching Fox news. And please we beg you to keep it quiet. Just so you know, you guys are always easy to pick out in a bar. You know why? Because most of you are loud. If you aren’t loud in person you are loud in your dressing. Seriously, shades in a club at night? Even P-Unit stopped that shit.

So, come home, keep your head low, go to K1, smoke shisha at Tambourin rooftop lounge at The Kempinski, adopt a cheetah at KWS, fly down to coasto and try and rescue Mombasa from the small-pox of Travel Advisories and maybe go look for land to invest in around Athi River. But don’t say anything that will set us off, because we are dealing with too much now.

To fellow Kenyans I think it is our duty to quieten the Summer Bunnies down, and the quickest way to do that is to take them to Thika Road. I love how Thika Road always surprises summer bunnies, especially those who were last here when Bubbles was THE club. But don’t take them Thika road when it rains, because then it will remind them of the Thames. (Which I’m yet to see). Every Kenyan hosting a summer bunny owes it to the sanity of the country to drive them to Thika Road. Thika Road is the only thing in Nairobi that says we have moved an inch. Thika Road says, look at us, we aren’t doing so badly after all. We have lit tunnels. We have eight lanes. We have working street lights. We have speed bumps. And the roads are marked as C32 and A2. And when you look inside matatus, nobody stands anymore. Thika road is our glass half full. Take them, let them see the wonder of development.

But mostly let us be very accommodative to summer bunnies. Even if they want to drink with us daily. Or if they keep asking silly questions about the speed of our WIFI. Or ask loudly why cops control traffic at working traffic lights; because we have not noticed this ourselves.

Mostly we ask God to give us the strength to accept them as our brothers and sisters because they have brought us pounds & dollars which God knows we need now. Most importantly we want God to give us the patience to explain that it isn’t as bad as it seems. That we – human beings – actually live here! That we haven’t perished yet, and that perhaps when our leaders finally find the secret of good food out there in Europe and Asia, and carry it back in small vials, we will finally flourish from that imported nirvana.

We wish to remind them that we are much better than most of our neighbours because look, Obama came here first, didn’t he? And so did The Pope. And we took them all to Thika Road.

Karibuni nyumbani summer bunnies, so great to have you back again. I think Brian Mungei from Safaricom will be sending you the WIFI passwords in a few.

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  1. That I am the first to comment(i think) it seems your fans have gotten so bored at work they started to do their actual jobs. You are phenomenal Biko. But keep up those jabs at us Murang’a guys and you may have to Mutahi Nguni a goat. Hopefully not as small.

      1. they are called summer bunnies for one simple reason…summer (june-sept)is when schools are closed in the US and so that’s the time most diaspora travel back home.

          1. Haha, silly. It’s (almost) always winter somewhere – someone did not pay attention in his/her Geography class

  2. i am so glad our JKIA is not a market place.and their identities will be firmly stuck so that when they go back to their diaspora we come our girls in a small dress with small tits.only biko gets away with this

  3. Summer Bunnies huh! you forgot to tell them not to ask why KQ will be charging them 10 times the fee they paid from wherever for them to fly down to coasto and try and rescue Mombasa from the small-pox of Travel Advisories. We are also still asking???

  4. Biko,I live past Kinungi..and not even us have Blackberries anymore!.*insert a very furious Kikuyu woman look here*

    1. Are we calling every dreadlocked person a Rasta, or what criteria are we using to know if one is a Rasta or not? it’s insulting and in poor taste to call thieves who happen to listen to reggae music as Rastas!!!!!

  5. Very appropriate for the summer bunnies coming home…you should have added the other question on every summer bunnies lips..Huku kuna vumbi mingi? Ussually am like yeah this is home, hii vumbi has been there before you were born

  6. Nobody does it like this chocolate man….I feel your work boss. Great as always. Yesterday was like a black day, I thought it won’t end,kumbe ulikua unapika this beautiful story. Served at the right time

  7. I overheard my two summer bunny cousins saying “us kenyans” never wanna buy drinks when they are around, that we expect them to pay for everything. That stung.

  8. “He will be clutching a Blackberry – which means he will be the only soul with a Blackberry between JKIA and Kinungi.” That made my week. Xmas has come early!!

  9. I bet that hair was a conversation starter: “Excuse me? Hi…hey, I’m sorry, but do you know Carol Odero?” hahahaha Biko really??

  10. Good one like always Biko,good one.Some even tend to think that every time we chat them we need some financial assistance from them,insanity in there.

    1. Oh yea! you don’t need to come from minnesorra to be a summer bunny, just move from Nairobi to shags or coast and you automatically fit in the given description.

  11. We also call it strungi in eastern. Chocolate man, the forehead couldn’t fit in business daily? or is it i who missed it in top 40 under 40?

  12. Hhahahaha when she says…..this guy is like a brother to me,” and Collo and I will exchange that alarming look when you realise that you have just been friend-zoned!!

  13. One summer bunny once said at a wedding, “how do you dance to this songs?” I almost referred them to music festivals in Primary school. Never mind being away for only a couple of years.

  14. Its summer time and these bunnies are just about to grace our Kenyan Meadows sustained by the very benevolent Elnino. They will surely come in looking all overhauled they might actually be stupefied that we have electricity back here more than the fact that we have corruption

    1. Only disappointing because he hit a raw nerve perhaps? Still stewing over the last summer bunny article?Let it go!!
      Another entertaining read Biko! Ya made my day!!!

  15. Kenyans are people who are not worried if the glass is half full or half empty. we celebrate the existence of a glass because clearly there is more space to fill it

  16. Oh Biko, amazing as always. This made my day; “Or ask loudly why cops control traffic at working traffic lights; because we have not noticed this ourselves.”

  17. haha funny….BUT ASIDE FROM THAT….He will be clutching a Blackberry – which means he will be the only soul with a Blackberry between JKIA and Kinungi…….
    Nope! No! NAH! I am a loyal Blackberry user, it’s a thing, a thing only Blackberry peeps understand. And they understand very well. A Blackberry is like BIC, you cannot diss BIC. BIC has been there for all of you (snotty) Samsung and iphone and schui Tecno peeps before even sliced bread. Respect BIC, respect the Blackberry.

  18. don’t make fun of the blackberry.POTUS has one.which make it forever cool..and my mum has one.which may now not make it as cool.maybe its a generation thing.

  19. Awesome Biko…but surely the summer bunnies cant expect more than to be friendzoned,they stay out for too long..

  20. summer bunnies will try hitting on your woman at 3am in Westlands as you wait for your boiled egg to be bathed in hot Kachumbari. You and the 7 Tusker beridi in you will decide to punch him in the face and give him a lovely black eye to take back to Minnesora.

  21. Rastas don’t steal.. u need to me to take you some place where you can understand Rasta. For crying out loud you are supposed to be one of our better writers do your research properly.

  22. Yes #Chocolate Man, my name is Collins and I’ve been stuck with this Canadian tech innovation called BlackBerry since 2009. Can all the Collos in the house rise up to a standing ovation.

  23. And then you pray for them.. Always making my days chocolate man..
    Peace✌ .. You’re the realest (not a word) haha

  24. The summer bunnies ARE coming home. I thought I was the only one who got irritated when my friend goes… “OmG! The milkshake in Minnesota has ice-cream”

  25. Two questions:
    1. Why the name summer bunnies?
    2. Why will he be the only one with a BB from JKIA to Kinungi; are they that hard to find?

    1. Summer bunnies I think means that they escape winter to come here for sun. The BB part is just a figgure of speech…like the bunny acts like he is the only one with a BB south of the Sahara… I could be wrong though 😀

  26. So I Am in Hospital and Can’t walk for 3 months after a drill gone wrong. But thanks to Biko for making me laugh so hard, the nurse just came to check up on me. She’s not part of the gang sad she can’t get the joke! Thanks Biko, you have “sanctified” my suffering by putting it on your blog :*

  27. I feel like Biko is that guy that will be tapping his thigh waiting for the summer bunny to say the wrong thing then when he says it he will bite his lip gulp his drink. Have a nasty conversation in his head, smile a plastic smile

  28. “You might say we are joined at the hip – but only if you have had too much to drink.” Hahahahaha only Biko

  29. December is here…karibuni Mombasa and no we are not all slow. Nairobi peeps, you don’t have to wear those hideous white vests (that is underwear) P.s boys and girls shave those armpits, thanks!

    1. Eish! Leo Watu wa mombasa wameamkia wa nairobi. True that, those armpit hair ni za Nai tu please. And White vests (heard they are called wife beaters *cringing!*

  30. I was copy pasting the parts I liked into the comment until I realised it was the whole article. Your way of describing things is so vivid , you can paint a Mona Lisa with your words.

  31. Great read as always Biko. Summer Bunnies should just put it into their heads already that this is their home. Tunajivunia despite all the negativity. This is where we belong

  32. hahaha You gon kill , me now. You’ve described summer bunnies to a tee Biko. Especially the part where they refer to us as ‘you guys’ and Im like, what the hell are you talking about. And the ‘Distressed Pepe’ had my my wandering a bit. Thought it was something else…lol


  33. hahaha You gon kill me now. You’ve described summer bunnies to a tee Biko. Especially the part where they refer to us as ‘you guys’ and Im like, what the hell are you talking about. And the ‘Distressed Pepe’ had my mind wandering a bit. Thought it was something else…lol

  34. one asked me when we were about to be served what uga lye was but for the respect of her mother my sister kept my cool

  35. Biko i think our immigration people need to come up with a special ‘summer bunny visa’ at an all time low price of (drum beats) USD50 🙂
    terms and conditions apply of course.

  36. Biko, Biko Biko…Your articles are our happy pill, just what the doctor would prescribe.. the right dose of humour, politics, msomo, patriotism,tabia and all things in between.
    Na d the reopening memo.

  37. Hilarious! The vumbi and the traffic really got to me..some of the trials summer bunnies go through include trying to speak an out-dated version of Sheng and having vendors hike everything to double triple price..bananas, jeans, you name it…and then a ing your relatives laugh at how you’ve been taken advantage of, saying, “You have a strange accent that gives you away..” And you know you don’t have any accent..hahaha.

  38. We Biko unatuonea ati even guys from jozi are now summer bunnies since it started to snow at rosebank. We coming with our Rands mfwetu

  39. You were nice this time around, Biko. But we were scared for life after your last summer bunny story.
    As always, you did a stellar job.

  40. Hopefully, the rat in the office dies today before summer bunnies find fur on the toilet seat. lol!! Good read as always

  41. I’ve always thought us guys from Jozi are summer bunnies.it snows here u know.like real snow.haha.rands coming up.congratulations Biko for nailing the top 40 under 40.there is hope for us

  42. ATI ”And you are safe, in case you are wondering…well, you have a higher chance being shot in a drill.” This line killed me heheheh

  43. …you have totally nailed it, Biko! I’m sending this to all my “Summer Bunny” relas and friends in the diaspora…let them seethe and heave but now they have heard it from the wordsmith 🙂

  44. Nice Biko. Its the same thing as those of us who travel to ushago over Christmas and behave the same way as the summer bunnies forgetting that we were once there. Marveling at how we can’t get white toilet paper, yet when we were growing up, we used leaves or old newspapers, if we had relatives who brought them from Nairobi. Its about being humble and not forgetting where one has come from. Otherwise, if they behave condescendingly, we now have a rejoinder, ‘gerrarahia men!. I love the way you incorporate Murang’a, my home place, into your writing. Nice piece as always.

  45. Thank God for Thika Road, what would we do without you!

    “And so because of all these problems Kenyans on Twitter are on edge.” Lol, made my day!

  46. This time Biko Zulu is very kind for for the likes of yours truly. Homecoming is as welcome and sweet as one coming home from boarding school

  47. LOL//……..Biko – Great Piece the Summer Bunnie Defined

    Kotoka in Accra kwanza now upgraded to a By Pass – we use that to avoid some crazy traffic that builds up on the Airport/Spintex Road road …..imajin JKIA as a By-Pass

    Oh and they even converted some plane they had there to some restaurant if that’s not adding a ton of salt to an injury

    Sasa huyu Summer Bunnie (By the way do we who are in Africa qualify for Summer Bunnie Status- ama sisi ni El-nino Bunnies) is coming back with some heavy Twi and Pigeon English Slang – with some suitcase full Of African print to sell in Kenyatta Market

  48. Great Piece Biko …

    LOL couldn’t agree more on Kotoka- Kwanza now it has upgraded to a By pass on one end as we avoid traffic on the Airport/Spintex road ….and whats even worse they parked run down national carrier ndege and converted into a restaurant – I think they sell fufu or some bush meat there(Oh Yeah and bush meat here is a Mole- Like who eats Moles)

    So this summer bunny (ooops kwanza a Summer bunny that lives within Africa I believe should be called -El-Nino Bunny)

    So this ENB (El-Nino Bunny) is coming with like 4 suitcases of African Print fabric akauze Kenyatta Market and ride on the chamas that mathe, my sis attend – HAPA NI KAZI

  49. Shout out to my auntie…a complimentary, warm, humble summer bunny. Housing her every year is a joy (not so much her kids though)

  50. Biko, I loved it! Hilarious … “But don’t take them Thika road when it rains, because then it will remind them of the Thames. << Hahahaha

  51. I would like to think I ain’t a summer bunny but the only great things in my view is the quality of higher education and shopping and a bit of infrastructure otherwise I keep shocking Londoners by telling them I loooove Kenya. Huku siwes ka.

  52. Lol!
    Even coming from Karen to Jeriko makes one feel like a Summer bunny!
    Am a summer bunny who really love home, and always cries at the end of summer.
    Home is nothing but Bliss!

  53. Sawa Biko, memo received. We the summer bunnies stand warned and promise to be in our best behaviour:-) May the holidays begin!

  54. Is there a difference between summer bunnies and Nairobians going to shags? Tabia ni the same. Write something about that too.

  55. Interesting and funny perspective. Then there is the flip side that is proudly envious of the quality of life in Kenya. Comfort of a nanny, house help, sometimes a driver and a fundi to fix stuff when it breaks. A break from the DIY world where one katas their own nyasi, fagias their own house and puts together something that looks like a meal, bila help of a chef. What many consider kawa in Kenya is unreachable in many parts of the so called developed world. I celebrate this even more than I celebrate the well done Thika road.

    1. Me too! I miss those things as well.
      I’m sometimes aghast at how people speak down to or shoot a nasty glare to the nanny/house help.
      I remind people that they have rights too. When I requested at my mum’s house that the maid should wear a uniform and she should be paid much more than they are giving her, my mum rolled her eyes so hard.

  56. Dude thinks he has issued a hot article. Maybe because you just learned that the guys who run away from snow are known as summner bunnies. You might think we do not have tusker here, when I lived in Minnesota I used to get my tusker at Jambo or blue nile. Right here in LA I buy from the Kenyan cafe or the Ethiopian restaurant next door. Every Friday on my way from riverside going home I stop at KC and get a mbuzi choma with ugali and sukuma. On my way out I make sure I but enough tusker to last me through the weekend. Get your facts straight bro. Keep calm and quit that bitterness of yours. Is it because you were denied visa? Chill bro. Your luck was not on your side or perhaps you didn’t get to the embassy early enoughe and you got locked out. At least for me, I had to be there at 5:30 am. Perhaps you should try Canada or Australia. You have a better chance there. I will also advise you to learn how to make an article coherent. I’ll give you C- on this one but do not give up. You might earn yourself a writing scholarship someday.

    1. Why are you so prickly dude? A light-hearted dig at the foibles of our diasporan brothers and sisters and you all up and about ready to match down to Thermopylae in defence of Kenyans in diaspora a well as earning an unqualified degree in English. Chillax dude

  57. Biko, good job. As always. That’s why you had your spot in Top 40 under 40. Can’t wait for next Tuesday already for my weekly dose. Taking a jab at us, Gathaithi, Murang’a folks *sob sob* Have you been there? Beautiful place it is.

  58. Excellent as always! This summer bunny misses home sana and cant believe i wont enjoy Kenya this Christmas! As for Thika road, I was terrified, confusrf took the wrong exit … but very impressed! Enjoy the holidays (and the summer bunnies too)

  59. Nice piece, I never knew I was a summer bunny, hehehe. Don’t misunderstand us, you don’t know how much we miss tusker.

  60. Thanks Biko. You’ve made my day. Try again . You just might get to see Thames next year . Welcome home Summer bunnies.

  61. But don’t take them Thika road when it rains, because then it will remind them of the Thames. (Which I’m yet to see). hahahaha #KenyansForBikoToSeeTheThames maybe?

  62. Reading this comments here and thinking to myself: how dare you? Did you all forget how obnoxious you middle class Nairobi folk are when you come to coast for your annual drinking spree? Feeling like everyone has to stop and notice that you’re on ‘holiday’. Give the SBs a break, you’re equally annoying!

  63. “Walk up to your window. Look up at the sky. See those dark clouds? See how they hang heavy? Well, get a strong wide umbrella because it’s about to rain summer bunnies. They are coming.”Welcome home summer Bunnies

  64. This is such a biased article that it almost feels like it doesn’t merit my response but here it goes. I do live abroad and contrary to the perception that Biko is trying to convey the only bunnies that act like this are the ones that left Kenya like 10 years ago and are coming back for the first time. I and some of my friends are in the country a couple of times a year, we are certainly not loud nor brash and we don’t suffer the indignities of bad language. We certsinly don’t complaini about government inefficiency and bad roads either. As you correctly noted and mentioned, there are a few bad apples that sour the taste of “bunnies” but you then proceed to write an entire article chastising the many for the the mistakes made by a few, therein lies ‘our’ criticisms and distaste with your work. I like your writing, not your bias.

    1. Achana na hizo, he’s just doing a good job earning his corn,biased or not,just check out fox news then you’ll know what biased means,or better still sit and painfully listen to that imbecile oaf D. Trump.

  65. This was epic as always! Question though, Kwani bunnies from europe and the gulf are not annoying too? Ama they are not regarded as bunnies?

  66. Why are the bunnies so bitter and defensive!. If you don’t behave that way then kudos to you.. But if you do as described above then its high time you change and stop behaving like you are the most important thing in the room. Biko, go ahead and write as much about these skeptical summer bunnies!Lovely!

    1. I agree with 100%! Some of us summer bunnies pretend to be might than thou and it annoys the hell out of me because most of us ain’t shit back here in the diaspora. We work like slaves just to pay bills and when we come to Kenya and try to show off our $, €, £, believe me when we get back to the diaspora…it will take us a good 4-6months to recover from that trip. That is why MOST of us come back to Kenya once every 10 years!! hahaaa! Anyway great post.

  67. hahahaaaa Biko.. that’s a hilarious one.
    Tell the bunnies to watch out their Blackberries… There are kina Kamaus along Thika rd.

    1. yap!there’ll always be ‘joint’ shagzmondoz used to frequent.n it will always have those memeories

  68. I am who you consider a female “summer bunny (SB)” from Minnesoraa! Hahaaaahaaa! I used to be your topical (SB) but after coming ever year for the past 5 year sometimes 2 times a year, I have come to appreciate our country …not your country and how far we have come. I stopped expecting the conveniences that I am afforded here in the US! I have learned to appreciate and love Kenya and my people and appreciate how far we are going and the potential we still have. I have started keeping in touch with what is really going on in Kenya and stopped pretending that I am better than “you people”…Because if you already dont know Trump is about to be president and he will be deporting all of us summer bunnies back to Kenya real soon!. So I have chosen to embrace “you people” as my people and if our leaders could get their act together and get the economy going… or if someone has a JOB that pays well…this “summer bunny” is ready like yesterday to move back to Kenya because at the end of the day…no matter how far I am, I will forever be a KENYAN!

    Ps. GREAT READ!!!

  69. Biko, please re-open the QandA you did in May of 2011. I’d like to read the Q’s and smile at how you did the A’s. Pliiiiiiiiiiiz. ..

  70. Biko, welcome back. I just love how you can describe an action as simple as taking a sip of beer and have a full paragraph about it!
    Exquisite piece as usual.

  71. Hahaha! I’ve burst out laughing throughout this post. Good one Biko. Also, every time I pass the Thames I recall your visa post… it’s brown, murky and quite a let down to the hype… urban sludge more like it… nontheless, worth the site. X

  72. I keep wondering why KOT hasn’t crucified Trump over his statements about Kenya yet.

    What happened to patriotism?
    Ama we used it all up after #SomeoneTellCNN?

  73. While I don’t consider me self a summer bunny though I don’t live in the country,nevertheless while readibg this,I found myself screwing my whole face up & rolling my eyes so hard I almost popped a vein.it may sound like a back-handed compliment but Biko,you are well read but you read people even better.

  74. I’m a Summer Bunny and I enjoyed this kabisa. You should have added how quickly we forget about blackouts and act shocked when it happens. Meanwhile everyone else is just biz as usual. I confess that the first time I came home I “dressed down” to go into tao ati so as not to attract attention (as if I even had anything worth stealing). That’s back when people still “went to tao”. Come to be shocked when I see everyone is better dressed than me. I tell you this article made my Furahiday, thanks from a not-at-all-offended summer bunny. A spade is a spade, it’s not a big fork. Best line of the article was about my peeps, Jang’os hanging at Ambassadeur hotel in broken suits. Yawa!!

  75. On point & timely as we SBs make a much needed return to Mamaland. Friend-zoned or not, you’ve graciously warned us fairly in advance, lol!

  76. Hahaha Biko does it again; takein a jab at the Kenyans abroad. I doubt my mum will EVER be a SB but my last born bro just might be,i dunno.

    ION,i’m no patriot,i’m not one of those to say this is home despite it’s challenges and we still love it. I look forward to a convinient-marvelous infrastructure-and-all-the-Western-world-offers kind of life (if only for a little while). But i most def know i won’t be a SB,just someone looking for a different experience.

    Also i think it’s time we stopped making light of our almost-horrid situation (corruption,bad infrastructure,crappy politics and all). We need to be angry enough to vote better. Humor has it’s place and it makes us laugh through our troubles but it has the danger of being all that we do;joking about it and doing nothing else.

    1. Pheeeeeewwww at last someone with a bit of perspective on what really matters.
      By constantly joking about the state of affairs in Kenya we run the risk of accepting mediocre services and seeing corruption as a Kenyan trait (which I’m afraid is how most people outside and inside Kenya are already doing) Yes by all means let’s find humour in the situations we find ourselves in but we shouldn’t just accept it and lying down. And yes I’m a Kenyan who is at times ashamed of what our so called leaders are doing to the country.

  77. Biko, I will dare to say that this is just one perspective, probably your perspective. If you could read the mind of a SB who loves their country to bits, you cannot begin imagine the turmoil. I look forward to being at home almost always, but some things almost drive me to tears, seeing how many people have had missed opportunities to see how many possibilities are out here. Kenya is a GREAT country and I love it, but as much as I want to be home, I am also nervous and anxious because there are things that just make me want to cry. I am out here working very hard, and I want to be a part of building our great nation when that door opens for me.
    I read your blog and had a good laugh for a whole day, but as I continued to think about it, I realized, there is my perspective which is pointing to the love we have for our people, that we do not get to express as much as we would. Happy Madaraka Day my fellow Kenyans. The SBs still love you all!

  78. Hahaha some summer bunnies catching feeling.Gerrrraoouttahhere!Like some guy up there Jones or who?Stop it Minesorra guy.Are you a woman!?!Nkt.

  79. LMAO….Till you meet the ones who speak to each other “Engrish” English with that funny tweng shrub and you are like. Damn! Get me wings I need to fly outta here. Wait till you are between 3 summer whatevers…Then the bunch crazy ones when on phone with them they will talk to someone on the other side so that you can hear they acquired the accent….hahahahaha……You can’t get village out of some people.

  80. I always love it when my summer bunny brother comes home and find that the tablet/tablet they have doesn’t come close to your latest iPad or when you have way better phone than them. I hate it even more when they ask you if you have a laptop and that look when you give them your WIFI password to browse. It’s just funny when he says there are a million highways to take from New York to New Jersey and that it only takes them 9 minutes from New York to jersey while 2 hours from donholm to Tao. And am thinking si ungekaa uko basi utumie Izo highway. I hate it how they expect you not to have plans when they are around incase they need you to accompany them for drinks when you have work the next day. And the suitcases they carry? Men! Funny thing, most of them are filled with vests and socks. How much socks does a man need? Anyway SBs are just amazing.

      1. No I don’t think it’s “bizarre” to have lots of under garments,why would one choose to have a couple of frayed boxer shorts and a stringy vest which have seen better days? I also think we tend to have lots of undergarments as you can get half a dozen very decent ones for about £5 (about 700ksh). Also I prefer wearing newish underwear, not some 10 year old frayed ones even a stray dog would turn up its nose at!!!!

  81. After 17 years in diaspora I finally visit my home in January. I shall also remember to not act surprised at everything.

  82. There are many summer bunnies who are not diasporians. Most guys from the diaspora are humble partly due to classless society some live in.

    1. Thank zou..My thuoghts exactly…Most middle class Nairobians look down on others just because they think they arent good enough like them…And yes we know thatNairobians are also part of this SB especially when they go to shags…

  83. Or outside Ambassadeur Hotel in the evening around those Luo relaz of mine in broken suits stand around holding their folded newspapers & talking politics. ..cracked me up.I personally see my future in Kenya despite all the problems we have.Kenya is home no matter how many scars and scandals weigh it down.It’s like an old sweater you will never get rid of because no other sweater warms you the way that one does.Or an old book that has been together with cellotape from your primary school days that has so many good memories you would not dream of throwing it away.

  84. “Also don’t act surprised at things that don’t work. If a matatu cuts right in front of us, don’t look like it’s the most insane thing you have seen in your life – aside watching Fox news.” This has just made my week.

  85. Biko,
    another perceptive piece (i guess by definition – summer bunny)… you however fail to mention that *some of us* aka “summer bunnies” are bewildered by the dressing of the women esp in Kenya. We are of the opinion that most are trying too hard to look like the women in the *western world* but what the impression we get is *the hoes in the music videos* sorry to be so blatant. A friend once told me …she had brought some regular clothes that she would normally wear on a daily and those she would wear to the club etc..wound up wearing the *club type* clothes during the day to fit it with the trends of dressing of most women in Nairobi..

  86. Biko. Advice well received and thanks for qualifying that not all summer bunnies are annoying. Some of us come home too often to be considered summer bunnies :-). Btw, still waiting to buy you that drink somewhere close to the Thames.

  87. Summer bunnies definitely give the rest of us a bad name.
    I always love the surprised looks when I’m in the uplands area of central Kenya conversating in kikuyu, the questions that follow should be featuredin a Q and A.

  88. Biko,

    The role of the writer is to write and not cause controversy in the society. We enjoy you as a writer and that should be that. These things as much as we laugh and enjoy thinking it’s funny, they divide society. All kenyans abroad and here at home we have a chance to contribute to the development of our nation. There is no need to divide kenyans in the diaspora and here at home. Kenyans in the diaspora are lucky, they get to learn more from the first world but we can use them to learn and implement what is needed in Kenya. Biko you are very good as a writer and we respect that. Stay that way!

  89. Biko, have you met the offspring of these summer bunnies? First of all, they mostly go by initials, so names like TJ, Mimi, CC etc. Then, they don’t speak swah. They say stuff like: “Do you have Netflix Ontee’? – where Ontee is Aunty…

    1. So how do you expect that to change when clearly that child has not been brought up in Kenya? Come on..cut some of these SBs some slack..Those kids have been raised outside our country and will definitely not adopt to Nairobis annoying english of ‘I kujad’ ‘I endad’

      1. I kujad and such crap is for pseudo Nairobians,you will never ever hear a true Nairobi born bred lad coming out with such claptrap,it’s nilikamu,nilikitoa and ,niaje bredren,then we can nego.

  90. Hahaha, just seen this. This is the second time you are hammering these guys. I’m sure they don’t have nice words for you.
    Love the narrative bro.

  91. Sad how you’re more likely to be shot in a drill. But seriously, there has got to be more going on for this country than Thika Road. Ah!Ah!

  92. Lovely article Biko..I personally have issues with most kenyans abroad especially when they strat telling me they’d rather buy stuff back here in the EU than back home because the quality is bad…Some people tend to act surprised by most things happening back home..You’d be surprised on how I support my country…Some of my friends tell me I should be the Minister of Tourism 🙂 Anyway..to be honest the dust really affected me the last time I was home..Sio maringo but I coughed for a whole week…but guess it was the welcome..One issues I have..Why is it that we Kenyans have accepted corruption as something normal..why should it be ok for me to bribe the guys from KRA to let me pass with my luggage? Why should we be ok in bribing guys at the Public offices and say ‘this is kenya’ yet they get their salaries every month..I think its just wrong that people have accepted all the wrong things all in the name of normal….
    Lastly: My Nairobians…Just stay out of the SB issue..Coz you all know you are guilty of all this in many different ways..You are only finding it offensive because its happening directly to you..That is how our peeps in shags feel when you take your annoying behaviors back to the village

  93. “they singing along to Sizzla, right up until she turns and shouts at me – mid-laughter- over a now groaning Gramps Morgan, “I’ve so missed Collo, this guy is like a brother to me,” and Collo and I will exchange that alarming look when you realise that you have just been friend-zoned. His Tusker will suddenly taste like strungi.”This was the most hilarious part for me. Cut your losses and run brother……. Bananas as always

  94. “And presiding over this Jamaican middle-class hoo-hah will be the high priest himself, Kriss Darling, the pied piper, leading his flock (and their Instgram followers) to Zion.”…….Biko, you gon kill me oooooh! *naija clap* 🙂 😀

  95. another summer bunny thing ‘cant come over, its an election year for ‘you guys’ and could turn chaotic!! really??? and I’ve been queuing with you at 5am to vote yet you’ve only been gone 2 years??? so are ‘we’ supposed to leave the country??? irks me to the core!!

  96. I was a recent summer bunny and loved being back home. Life is good at home and we envy the relaxed pace. Very funny article!! And I have a blackberry too!