Nyasi Safi

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This is going to be a quickie. 

Two quickies, actually. 

First quickie. 

I woke up today and thought about that night in 1996 in Brunei when fans got to the Bandar Seri Begawan amphitheatre and waited hours. The young and the old jostled for space. The sick were brought on stretchers. The place sat humming under a fog of anticipation. Up in the VIP section sat the royal family of Brunei. It was a free concert and so the place was sardine-packed, it swayed and creaked like a great ship of humanity. You can’t start imagining the scale of 60,000 people in one large space. I can’t. 

The place was brought to quiet – as quiet as you can make 60,000 expectant people get. Suddenly a figure lurched from underneath the stage like a rocket and when they landed on their feet the place descended into anarchy. It was Michael Jackson. It went ape-shit. The crowd started going loony. Women and men cried. Girls jumped up and down, extending their hands towards the king of pop. Women fainted. Women grabbed fistfuls of their hair as if something foreign had possessed them. The crowd heaved towards the stage and the security consisting of hundreds of hired muscles and a barricade pushed them back. 

Meanwhile, Michael did nothing. 

He just stood there. Hair hanging over his face. 

The more he did nothing the more the crowd screamed. And fainted. And shouted his name. MICHAEEEEEL! MICHAEEEEEEL! I LOVE YOU MICHAEL! I WILL GIVE YOU BABIES MICHAEL! I WILL AIRFRY ALL YOUR CHICKEN MICHAEL! MICHAEL IF YOU EVER NEED A KIDNEY, TAKE TWO OF MINE! I DON’T NEED THEM! MICHAEL MY HEART IS YOURS! MY WOMB HURTS MICHAEL! MICHAEEEEEEEEL!

Complete basket case. 60,000 people.  

Michael stood like that for a whole minute. Not moving a muscle. And the crowd kept going from wild to deranged. 

Then Michael slowly removed his sunglasses and if you thought the crowd wouldn’t get any more animated, now it was fever pitch. It was uncontrollable. Girls were falling back, crumbling, because they saw the god’s eyes. It was like staring into the sun. 

Then Michael lurched, did the thing he does with his leg and the beat dropped and then it was straight to the musical twilight zone.

I don’t know why I thought about Michael this morning. I don’t know why anybody thinks about dead strangers. But I lay there and thought of Michael in Brunei. 

 

The second quickie.

I just came back from the village. 

I showed up without any announcement. Sneaked up on my Emmanuel, like a thief in the night or a thief in the day. If he was surprised to see me, he didn’t show it. The sun was high above. He just opened the gate. He was in his gumboots. The moment I got out of the car, I knew something had changed. I knew my grass was happy. I removed my shoes (thanks for the earthing tips, Victor) and walked on the grass. Even without looking at the grass, you can tell from the soles of your feet when the grass is happy when the earth is satisfied. I touched the leaves of my young trees as I walked down the garden. I said a kind word to a young palm tree, a slow grower. “You are enough,” I told her. I brushed past the Lady’s Thumb and nodded at her slow but sure progression in life. A late bloomer, like me. So I understand the path they are on. At the cluster of bamboo, I saw many more bird nests. A riot of weaver birds said things to me at the same time. Weaver birds love attention. I raised my hand and said, “One at a time, ladies.” They couldn’t stop. They continued with the ruckus. So I just stood there. I felt like Michael Jackson in Brunei. 

Everything was what I wanted it to be.

I felt my heart swell with joy. With love. And contentment. 

I felt like the sun was shining in my heart. I felt every breeze through my pores. My feet started growing in the ground. I had a keen feeling that I was a plant in my former life. A cactus, Moonlight Cactus, to be specific. Something that grows in the wild and doesn’t get thirsty. A plant with a modest shadow. 

Emmanuel waited on the pathway, buried up to his knees in his gumboots. 

I walked up to him and said, “You have done an amazing job with the place. I’m very happy at how this place looks.” He smiled broadly and said, “azante, boss.”

I said, “This is the minimum standard of this place. This is your minimum standard.” 

He nodded. 

We both looked around like two colonialists about to start scrambling for the land they just discovered where other humans have lived for generations. 

“Good job,” I said to him, but also the grass. Because it must be hard being grass in shags. It must be hard being my grass because I just won’t let you have low days. I want you to stand still and be bright.

So those are the two things I wanted to share with you today. I just wanted to encourage you to never give up on your grass. Or on anything you cherish. Or on each other. Most importantly, don’t give up on yourselves. 

Talk properly next week. 

Allow me to go to an embassy and beg for a Visa. 

***

In case you too are at an embassy and need to pass time reading something great, grab a book HERE.

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24 Comments
  1. Hey chocolate man, I had hoped for an attached photo of the said grass to feel connected to the land too. Happy Tuesday I guess

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  2. Ah!
    Me I’m so happy that your grass is doing well and that Emmanuel stepped up. Nilikuwa nimeanza kumwonea huruma the last time you spoke about him.
    Lakini Biko, why are you mentioning quickies this early.? Wengine wetu tuko kazi and it’s so cold and the mention of quickies inatuaffect

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  3. Thanks for the quickies (sounds wrong Lol). I was about to question the spelling of ‘azante’ but then remembered Emmanuel is a Lunje.
    I recently started a blog and would love to hear from the gang. Karibuni at https://tbconsult.co.ke/the-classmates/

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  4. Reminds me of that piece of advice you got from your brother, “give time time” your grass has rewarded you.

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  5. I’m I the first one here? Anyway, omera good luck with your visa application. I think after death, visas will be the second thing to die when kingdom come.

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  6. Bumped in to a clip of Michael in Brunei the other day…made me incredibly sad. We make gods of men and just when they start believing themselves to be gods we rip them apart. I think it is better to never know such greatness

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  7. “A riot of weaver birds…weaver birds love attention….one at a time, ladies”
    Seems weaver birds are all female in your compound, Biko..

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  8. The mention of quickies has tempted me to say that the sight of your grass flourishing must have given you an orgasm. But I will resist the temptation.
    Nyasi safi thanks to Emmanuel’s kazi safi, aye?

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  9. “They continued with the ruckus. So I just stood there. I felt like Michael Jackson in Brunei. ” Haha… Nice one!

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  10. “Michael stood like that for a whole minute. Not moving a muscle. And the crowd kept going from wild to deranged.”

  11. It must be a great feeling showing up unannounced and finding everything the way you want it to be, good for you Biko.

    I never find things the way I want them to be when I show up unannounced, we all need an Emmanuel.
    Blessings to Emmanuel.

  12. I’m a plant person, I like that you talk to your plants, I have never tried but I guess I should encourage them not to give up when they start withering or are slow growers.
    Beautiful piece.

    And yes, we won’t give up on anything we love or on ourselves, thank you Biko.

    All the best in the visa pursuit.

  13. Speaking of visa, could you do a “Visa denied’ piece about the US Embassy? Even if they haven’t denied you, please do it for the so many Kenyans who have been denied without an explanation.

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