What Time?

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The past is stalking me.

Two Sundays ago, at the Concours D’elegance, I saw my former boss, hands held behind his back, strolling around the yard before the gates opened. The boss owns Village Market and built it from nothing. I worked as a writer in the mall’s marketing department, my second job after university, and my second last gig before I went rogue and became freelance.

I walked up to him and removed my cap. “Mr. Hamed, it’s me, Biko.”

He laughed and said, “Of course, it’s you.” He always had a wise, fatherly demeanour that commanded respect and, sometimes, awe. 

I introduced him to Lady. 

We stood in the morning dew of Ngong Race Course and talked about cars and ageing. He had two vintage cars competing in the show. He, in his 70s, now restores cars as a hobby. He also paints. “You have to keep your mind and hands engaged.” He speaks gently, like in the scene in The Godfather where Don Corleone strokes a fat cat. (This is not a metaphor).

“That man is special to me,” I told Lady later. “He hired me on the spot and he bought me my first car.” 

This is how the story of how I bought my first car goes.  

One morning Mr. Hamed said, “Biko, I saw you at the bus stage last evening after work, is your car down?”

“No, Mr. Hamed, I don’t drive,” I said.

“Oh no? Where do you live?”

Mountain View Estate, I told him. I would hop in one of those mats from Ruaka into town, and pick a matatu at Odeon Cinema to Mountain View. I lived in a sweet, snugly bedsitter in a quiet cul-de-sac. Trees and things. Lovely neighbourhood. I had a two-seater blue sofa, a raggedy second-hand carpet that a homeless dog would not sleep on, a bed, a television set, a meko, and my clothes. I was 25 years old. And I was very happy. I was very happy because I didn’t have a plan. Plans just spoil the fun. 

“Isn’t that up on Waiyaki Way? That’s very far.” Hamed said. “Maybe you should buy a car?”

I was earning something like 55K after tax, I couldn’t afford a car. 

“I can’t afford it, Mr. Hamed,” I said. 

“You can,” He said sagely. “How much would the kind of car you want cost?”

He was driving a Land Cruiser VX. Back then, circa 2005. Before Nairobi’s unscrupulous community made it the official car of graft.  

“350K?” I gulped.  

“Go up to Mr. Ghosh tomorrow and ask for a loan.” Mr. Ghosh, now deceased, was the Chief Accountant. “Tell him I sent you.”

So I went up to Mr. Ghosh’s office, which was up in the wooden attic. He spoke little, Mr. Ghosh. His hands were always moving. An accounting genius, Mr. Ghosh hardly made eye contact and he had an Indian accent as thick as the Bible. Mr. Ghosh would later wire me a loan of 350K (Interest-free!) to buy my first Toyota Corolla E100. 

You all know how it is to buy your first car. You all know the unreasonable whirlwind love affair that ensues. So yes, the car was special and because he enabled it, Mr. Hamed has always been special. 

More happenings. 

A week later, at Waterfront Mall, I ran into Ciru, someone I knew from university. Hadn’t seen her in years!  She was standing with two other girls, one who looked familiar and who turned out to be a former neighbour. Patricia was one of those very serious neighbours who minded their own business. They all went to high school together and had a reunion lunch. 

That evening, guess who texted me, an event that is not related to running into my former boss. Hamed’s former PA, Betty, texted me from the blues. I was having dinner. I haven’t talked to Betty in over seven years. Haven’t seen her in, what, since I left Village Market in 2007. She said she had run into some old writings of mine from the Village Market days. I called them Friday Diary, which I would share with the staff every Friday. A roundup of what had been happening in the mall that week. Tongue in cheek, of course. They were all the rage, those Friday Diaries. She Whatsapped me some of them. We caught up a bit. She said she was now running a restaurant in Spring Valley called Sugar Bowl

“We had breakfast there once when you just opened,” I told her. “Isn’t it the one at a petrol station?”

“That’s the one.” She said, “Come by for Brunch tomorrow. Let’s catch up.”

So I went and we caught up on old times. Time has been very kind to her; not only does she look sensational she has had a great run in her career. After leaving as Village Market’s General Manager, she went on to help set up malls like Two Rivers, Garden City, and The Hub. Now she was running her swanky restaurant. I couldn’t believe it. “I thought this place was owned by an Indian,” I said. “All this time you had a restaurant in you?” 

Everything had changed. When we worked together, I didn’t have children. She had a son who is now 22 years, a grown-ass man, who designs houses, cooks, and even has a girlfriend. Her daughter, who was not born then, is now 17 years old, an apple that didn’t fall too far from the tree. “Where the f*rk did time go, Betty,” I whispered so that time wouldn’t hear. Anyway, brunch was great. I had the avo on toast because I keep shit simple. 

Whatever you decide to eat at Sugar Bowl, whatever you do, be sure to have their Fruit Tea. It’s their special weapon, their silver bullet. It’s nothing you have ever drunk before. It will alter you. Alter your vision and allay your fears of the world. It’s what Hot Dawa thought it would do to the world. It’s who Dawa thinks he is. And it’s healthy. You can have it hot or you can have it on the rocks because it knows that we don’t agree on everything. And we shouldn’t. Remember, the Fruit Tea. 

My past wasn’t done with me yet because that same evening I went to watch a play at Braeburn called Sanctuary. It’s by Santa Mukabanah and Martin Kigondu starring Martin Kigondu and Joyce Musoke. There, I ran into Marion, who was my desk-mate in university, some twenty years ago. She was with another ex-uni mate called Brian. “People are going through so much,” Brian told me when we discussed how scarce we all are, “and they don’t know how to reach out so everybody sits quietly in their corner.” 

The whole point of this post is that time flies and everything changes. People move to other things and other people. Seasons come and go. Trees fall in forests and nobody hears them. Anthills cast longer shadows. Children grow up to become their own persons with their agency. Our worlds become smaller and smaller. We throw out dead weight from our boats so that we can drift further in this journey. We moan less over lost opportunities. We moan less, period. We eventually reach a point where we accept things we have no control over. We walk in forests at dawn and hear the trees breathe. We don’t take calls that will ruin our energy. We cut assholes from our lives; backstabbers, selfish pillocks, and those who think the sun rises from their arses. We love those who love us and we go to war for them. And we bring back the heads of their enemies and place them at their feet. And in our pocket, we have little f*rks left to give.

I’m in this reflective mood because, at the end of this week, I will be turning 47. It’s so surreal, I was telling my brother yesterday. I don’t feel it. I feel like a child myself. I don’t believe I’m raising children and making decisions about their future, let alone mine. I harbour such unseriousness that if they got a glimpse of it, they would request their money back. But it’s such a blessing. To be healthy and strong (OK, when I squat my knees sound like someone breaking groundnut pods) and to be doing what I love daily. To be able to get by. To have a very small community of people I treasure. Such a blessing that my grass grew, literally and figuratively. 

As a birthday gift, I would like you to write what lesson you have learnt recently. It could be thought-provoking, funny, deep, simple, or just observational. It could be in the form of a very short story or a quote. You can even send a smiley if that’s a metaphor for your life’s lesson.

And to my birthday twins; Tony Ading, Gavin Ading, Connie Aluoch, Kwame Miyai, Florence Bett, happy birthday. Keep those elbows oiled. 

***

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83 Comments
  1. Your fourth last paragraph is so profound, almost felt like you have summed up my thoughts and scribbled them. I’m 37 almost 38 and my boat is drifting on, much lighter than in my early thirties. Happiest Birthday Biko.

    9
  2. I will be turning 42 next week.
    I have learnt to mind my f**ing business, keep doing what makes me happy and live by what makes me peaceful.
    I recently started cleaning my phonebook. If you’re distracting my peace, I delete, backstabbing, delete,
    I listen to peaceful music, make time for my treasures; my kids.
    I don’t think I have friends, just acquaintances. I am learning to stop entrusting people with my peace, if I lose the acquaintance, they never deserved me. I no longer feel bad if someone stopped talking to me, they never deserved me nor my time, period!

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  3. “He always had a wise, fatherly demeanour that commanded respect and, sometimes, awe.” So true, he is the picture of walking wealth yet dignified. Very few wealthy people have it. I believe it comes from going through all the seasons of life like starting something from scratch and watching it grow without tainting your hand in graft.

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  4. About the mall lady Betty, I love the malls she got involved in especially The Hub, so easy to maneuver. Please ask her what happened with that 2Riversmall so many people get lost inside…. it is no fun I almost got late for an appointment after I got lost in there it was my first time and it didn’t help that the escalator was under repair in the middle of the day.

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  5. This is profound. Time moves. it is fleeting. Throwing away dead weight to drift further is such a powerful metaphor.
    I am on that Journey at this point in my life.
    Happy birthday
    ps. we worked at some housing/real estate magazine together…writing

    3
  6. As someone in her late 40s, I was very aware of time slipping by at some point but have come to the pleasant realisation that we can change anything we do not like about our lives at any given time and age. The power (most times), lies with us and at this point, there is more freedom, financially and otherwise to make decisions that are best for us. It is a very exciting time 🙂

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  7. Time….this always comes as a reminder that this month I get to also celebrate my birthday. This year I have learnt to take care of me and sit in silence more.

    3
  8. I once saw this quote somewhere, “Make an effort to avoid circumstances where someone gives you more than you’re able to give back to yourself; when they pull the rug out from under you, you may lose your balance.”

    It spoke to me.

    21
  9. Biko,
    I love reading your pieces, continue sharing.
    Unlike you, my birthday was a while back and the following is what I’ve learnt.
    THAT;-
    -people change
    -friends move on
    -lovers tiff
    -the body changes
    -children grow up and leave
    -children leave and come back
    -life doesn’t always go according to plan
    -the sun sets unceremoniously on some
    -parents age
    -the world moves on with or without me

    BUT
    -The sun rises
    -we heal
    -we laugh
    -we dance
    -we enjoy time with good friends, new and old
    -we enjoy a glass of wine
    -we enjoy time with family
    -we reminisce and laugh
    – we smell the fresh air
    -we enjoy the sunset and
    -we look forward to the future
    What a beautiful world ❤️
    Happy Birthday Biko!

    37
  10. No matter what happens in life, no matter how life turns out I’ll be fine, I’ll be ok. So I’ve learnt not to stress about things I have no control of. I’ve learnt that holding onto my pain ,anger and other negative emotions causes inflammation ,affects my health. To be healthy and happy I have to learn to forgive and let go ,to live in the moment. Forgiveness being a gift I give to myself not the ones who’ve wronged me. My mothers death demystifies death, we live with it form the day we are born, it’s always among everything that has life. I need not fear it,I just need to pack as much life as I can into the moments am blessed with,learn to live with gratitude and authenticity

    4
  11. There is nothing God cannot do. At 39 years young, I do not stress a lot as I used to. I make my requests known to God, and I wait. God responds in the best way.

    Gratitude. This year, I made it intentional to have gratitude diary. I write down at least one thing I am grateful to God for, every night before I go to bed. And 2024 had been a peaceful year. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with gratitude. When you are grateful to God, He keeps giving you more reasons to be grateful.

    Marriage is not that hard. When I was younger, it was hard. But the older I get, the easier it gets.

    Lastly, the more I read you, Biko, the more I feel the urge to take your writing masterclass. I hope to do this, someday.

    8
  12. There is nothing God cannot do. At 39 years young, I do not stress a lot as I used to. I make my requests known to God, and I wait. God responds in the best way. Gratitude. This year, I made it intentional to have gratitude diary. I write down at least one thing I am grateful to God for, every night before I go to bed. And 2024 had been a peaceful year. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with gratitude. When you are grateful to God, He keeps giving you more reasons to be grateful. Marriage is not that hard. When I was younger, it was hard. But the older I get, the easier it gets. Lastly, the more I read you, Biko, the more I feel the urge to take your writing masterclass. I hope to do this, someday.

    1
  13. I have come to the crude realization that people leave, times change, relationships break and nobody gives a rat’s ass what happens in your life. That is unless they have stake in the same. This has taught me to judge less because I understand them, somehow. Everyone is in their survival journey and it would be unfair to expect them to carry your struggle at heart. With this perception, it becomes easier to relinquish high hopes and take life’s/people’s disappointments in stride without breaking.
    Enjoy your birthday chocolate man.

    3
  14. learning to let go,yesterday isn’t the same as today ,the energy,the expectations,the experiences ,I had regarding life

    I should learn to let go of one sided relationships and friendship.I shouldn’t harbour on past relationships but should aim to build new ones.

    3
  15. Peace. That is my lesson in life. Peace, above all else. For me, this meant quitting a well-paying job, moving back home to the husband and starting a life together. 2 children, a home [totally owned, no loans, no mortgage], 5 dogs, a chicken and a bee hive later, peace has arrived. The trick, atleast for me, was to let go, slow down and listen to the voices in your head, don’t ignore them. Happy 47th. Sunshine and happiness to you. Salaam.

    3
  16. 2024 has been quite the year and these are some of my lessons;
    >>Save for a rainy day! In an economy where the saving culture is eroded by meagre pay – TUCK AWAY SOMETHING RELIGIOUSLY.
    >>Furthermore, you’ll benefit greatly from 10 solid friends than one million familiar faces that you think know you.
    >>There’s no better time to start than now.

    1
  17. Happy Birthday Biko…..
    My take home this year has been :-
    1. People come into your life for a reason…sometimes they stay but sometimes they leave.
    2. Learn to celebrate the wins…no matter how small. Be your biggest cheerleader.
    3. Never make yourself small to fit into anyone’s box…
    4. You’ll never be everyones cup of tea and that’s okay…maybe your are a coffee 🙂
    5. Embrace prayer…have a relationship with God.

    7
  18. the rat pack experiment,
    back in the Vietnam days, soldiers in Vietnam had access to almost any narcotic they wanted from local friendly Vietnamese. a great many got quite seriously addicted to opiates like morphine. but when they came back home, for the most part they just stopped using morphine on their own. few became addicts.

    scientists being scientists wanted to find out why, so they experimented on rats. they gave rats morphine and the rats got addicted, obviously. take away the morphine the rats goes into withdrawal and flips out.

    anyway, a scientist names Bruce alexander hypothesized that maybe the problem with the experiment wasn’t morphine, but the cages. so, being mad scientists, they built a Rat park which was 200 times the size of a standard lab cage, containing 15-20 rats of both sexes, plenty of food, wheels, toys, other stimulation and spaces for mating. basically a rat paradise or as close as you would get in a laboratory

    so they got some rats, addicted them to morphine again, but they put half of them in standard cages and the other half in rat paradise. they put two dispensers in each. one containing morphine water, the other clean water. the rats in lab cages only drank morphine water but the rats in rat paradise quickly switched to clean water only rarely testing morphine water.
    the conclusion was simple, when life sucks addiction has a more powerful hold. when life is fulfilling, addiction is easier to beat.
    also get out and touch grass

    11
  19. The term “mid-life-crisis” is overrated.
    In my 40s I have realised its not about a crisis, its about discovering yourself and putting to a stop the things/people/paths that don’t add value to ones life. Its taking control of one life and doing what gives you peace of mind and sorrounding one self with people who genuinely care and love you. If the world choose to define my actions as mid-life-crisis, I define it as been unapologetically me.

    Happy Birthday Biko!

    P.s. I just finished reading Drunk, great book. Did Larry die?…

    1
  20. It’s interesting to read this piece. As I think of 47 – young lad..tsk tsk. And yet it sounds like the name of a mysterious passenger on a cruise…Biko, don’t stop sailing to interesting destinations. Happy birthday! A sniff of a whiskey awaits you. – Nzioxx

    1
  21. just landed, 5th floor! Indeed, Life’s good, very few things if any, bother my dear life. I let off baggage, lots of it! I love me, myself and myself more. My space is treasured and every step is Godly! Me and my God, we rock the boat!

    2
  22. Time really flies Biko, being in my early forties and imagining I am actually approaching fifties sometimes seems so surreal but such is adulting. Immature thoughts are common, I don’t struggle with them. I just live one day at a time, no pressure, no points to prove and of course an empty bag of f#kcs, so I don’t give any. Mungu mbele and the little things that matter. Happy birthday Chocolateman. Many more happy returns.

    1
  23. I really liked the last two paragraphs… it’s interesting how things that matter when we were younger become nothing as we grow older. That is very comforting.

  24. There are bosses that come through your life and leave beautiful footprints in your heart, Mr Hamed was yours… but some just machooss… you just learn to live and let live because nobody owes you anything in this life.
    Time has the ability to slip through our fingers, so in my late 40’s I have learnt to smile at both haters and those who love me with pure love because they both carry those great lessons of each season in life.
    let’s do life lightly by travelling light!
    Happy birthday Biko! ,

    1
  25. That bottoms come off, and at the same time, things get off the rails all at once, and in that season as much as we want to yap and cry shoulder, if you remain utterly still, you can hear the gist and know that it’s all aligning, and that you’ll breath again and release the tension.
    Nothing is permanent, it may not even matter six hours later.
    And that we’re all body parts, give yourself grace, extend it to those around you.

  26. I Bumped into this blog way back in 2015, that is almost a decade ago.

    Whenever I think of commitment, this blog is proof that I can commit. Maybe what makes commitment possible is that over time it becomes familiar like we know nothing else.

    I have realized that life is about commitments even when there is absolutely no point in committing. The greater your commitments the more meaning you extract.
    Happy birthday Biko! Your writing is a big part of my idea of home.

    1
  27. Happy Birthday Biko! You’re such an inspiration. Here’s a movie quote I read a few months ago – it helped me gather the courage to change my career.
    “For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again. “

    7
  28. I am 34 now, and I recently accepted that it is okay to be misunderstood. As long as I understand myself, the rest of you can go hug a tree.

    8
  29. I turned 33 exactly a week ago. My lesson of 2024 – Take care of yourself, because no one else will. Plus, self-sacrifice is not love. If anything, persistent self-sacrifice and perseverance could be a sign of self-abandonment.

    3
  30. Great piece. I remember your first car. A white Camry. I had an accident with it at the Norfolk when a driving school car rammed into me, remember.
    Such nostalgic moments.
    I still owe you a beer for ruining your car

  31. Some of the many lessons I have learnt:
    -> The people who truly love you will stay with you through thick and thin, they won’t make excuses.
    -> Some friends are meant to stay with us through a season, some are meant to stay with us the rest of our lives. Let go of those who are unavailable when you are going through a storm.
    -> Even when everyone leaves you, God will stay with you until the end of time, Jesus is your unconditional friend.
    ->> Don’t stay at a job where your aren’t appreciated. I learnt this the hard way.
    ->> Don’t stay in a toxic work environment, it’s bad for your mental health. I learnt this the hard way.
    ->> Avoid toxic people.
    -> True love makes a way, not excuses.
    ———–>>> God has great plans for us and loves us with an everlasting love.
    ***
    Happy birthday Biko, mine is on October 26. May God always meet you at your point of need, and grant your heart’s desires, may your beautiful pen keep writing, skilled writer, AMEN.

    Blessings from Uganda,
    Jennifer

  32. I turned 40 this year and thought i would have this seismic shift that everything would be different .Life begins at 40 after all. New decade new me. yay! BUT…. it just wanted a regular ass day.i planned a photo shoot that am yet to get..a party that never happened . My partner who i met when i was 38, in the middle of a divorce with 2 kids tried to make it special God bless him ,with a million public surprises which were sweet but it just was not me. which was his intention because am 40 and should try something new. But All i wanted was to stay in bed. eat junk food. sleep ALOT because kids don’t let you sleep .No one could get why i didn’t have a big hurrah. maybe at 50.
    I learnt contentment. that I literally had everything i always wanted. well except the body of my dreams. sob sob! I Got promoted at work. Met the man of my dreams as a single mum of 2.my life was literally on track. so i learnt sometimes just be in the moment. enjoy the ordinary .its ok.

    i did join the gym because God dammit i will have my killer body and maybe one last baby. because at this age i have baby fever and its ridiculous because i don’t sleep enough already….LOL

    5
  33. I always called my mum “over spiritual” back in that stubborn teen age,
    Here I am asking God how many spoons of sugar to put in today’s cup of black tea. Now I’ll ask if I can try the fruit tea.
    That’s just how age has knocked in : God just is SUPREMACY.
    Now I’m the mum who’s spiri

    Happy Birthday Biko. God keep guiding you. ✨

    2
  34. I learnt this lesson last month:

    Gift yourself.

    This is after I was resenting the people i was caring for because they did not care for me in return even when a chance arose.
    Then I bumped into that idea in one of the financial podcasts &put a mental note to apply it.

    It feels like re-discovering myself .I am a better giver& doing it with gratefulness.

    I’m happier.

    Happy birthday Biko& please follow up a story you did here about Birds not singing. The refugee one..

    Also:
    practicing contentment ,presence& gratitude.

    To life &good health. T o peace, joy &everything beautiful under the sun. To more writing& less browsing.. LOL

    1
  35. I just turned 24 on Sunday… I am learning you have to keep those who are important to you close be it your friends and/or family…. and as Drake said kiss your mum with those lips that all that lipstick covers, you are never too old to kiss and hug her..

    1
  36. Three things for me:
    1. People forget
    2. Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
    3. Quote: This is one of the challenges of being alive: To witness the injustice of the world and not allow it to consume our light

  37. Very deep piece Biko,
    I have learnt that I am a beautifully flawed human,
    I am learning to embrace the beauty in imperfections and to appreciate the wisdom behind the scars.
    That I am no longer looking for the perfection in people, nor am I trying to be that nice person who does everything right and who everyone loves.
    God in his wisdom did not create perfect people.
    I am learning acceptance. It may sound like settling, I know.
    That way, I am a better spouse, I am no longer asking, ‘why isn’t the perfect Christian that I want him to be?’
    Parenting has also become easier, I now appreciate the pure love and innocence that can only be found in children.I know this moment is fleeting and I need to appreciate every second.

    1
  38. Happy 47th Biko!
    This year I decided to take God seriously and pondered on all the years that slid by being unserious. I was treating Him as an afterthought, racing ahead of Him in my decisions. This was wrong I realize belatedly, we are to be like King David, as well King Jehoshaphat who walked closely with God and enquired of Him. (1 Samuel 30:8, 2 Chronicles 20:3, 2Kings 3:11)
    .My unseriousness had permeated every area of my life including my relationship with God.
    The biggest lesson I’ve learnt; everything I spend on GOD whether time, resources, is never wasted. God is not a robber. It returns a thousand fold. God is reliable.
    Indeed time flies. Health is wealth. In everything give thanks.

    2
  39. I am 33 and I have learnt that community is such a blessing, and so every time you go to a place , a function, make a friend or two so you can have your community.

    I have also learnt that I should not give up on people easily, be intentional and love them forgiving every now and then just as God loves me and them.

  40. Time flies.

    When you lose someone close, life refuses to stay put so that you can mourn and miss the company you once shared. I closed my eyes yesterday as the body of my brother was lowered to the grave. I opened my eyes today and realised that it is October. It’s unbelievable that it’s been TEN f*cking months since that sunny Saturday afternoon.

    Time flies!!!

    1
  41. You are a libra!! Love you the more.

    Recently felt first hand disappointment when you trust someone to do the right thing and they don’t. Was like baam! this is how God feels when He entrusts me with something & I don’t steward it well?

    Happy 47th

  42. 21 turning 22, but sometimes I feel like a 17 year old in an adult’s body. Time flies so fast.

    Happy birthday, Biko ✨

  43. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIKO. (MY GIFT TO YOU)

    I want to share two stories with you… (that I have already written) they seem appropriate for this season in your life. And yes, life happens while we are watching paint dry… (Don’t ask me what that means… 🙂 it just sounded profound to say it.) Hehehehehehe… Have a lovely weekend!

    STORY NO. 1
    https://www.linkedin.com/posts/pablo-murunga-19942310_supermom-thesidewalkprophet-mamadorah-activity-7241333389948055552-R-Ua?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

    STORY NO. 2
    https://www.linkedin.com/posts/pablo-murunga-19942310_halftime-vintagebaddies-silverfoxes-activity-7237653826109927424-Yd7a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

    ENJOY!

  44. Hey Biko.

    I have learnt the act of having gratitude in everything.
    But in all, I have learnt to ‘live in the moment’ and let people and things be.

    Especially the things I don’t have control over.

    Happy Birthday BikoZulu. You are my invisible mentor.

  45. The Lesson I Learned This Week

    Monday has always been Monday—chaotic, unpredictable, and a true test of mental endurance. This week was no exception. Since this is my very first job after graduating in 2023, everything feels new, daunting, and often overwhelming. I remember being hesitant about even attending the interview, and after it was over, I had almost no hope of landing the internship. But I did, and it’s been a whirlwind ever since.

    Then this Monday hit me with unexpected news: my contract might not be renewed. The uncertainty weighed heavily on me. I found myself gasping for breath every few minutes, anxiety creeping in, and eventually, I had to take a two-hour lunch break just to regain some composure. Now, I sit in limbo, waiting for the next Monday to reveal whether I’ll be staying or moving on.

    But this week has taught me a valuable lesson. The workplace is fluid—nothing is guaranteed, and clinging too tightly to a position or a specific outcome only leads to stagnation. Real growth comes from learning to adapt, embracing the uncertainty, and focusing on personal development rather than fixating on job security. Staying in one place out of fear of the unknown doesn’t help you grow—it just keeps you stuck.

    By Virginia

    5
  46. Happy Birthday Biko Such an enlightening read!

    I turned 27 earlier this year (May 13).
    I wouldn’t point it out as a single lesson what I have learnt recently. It’s broad topics across the very crucial pillars of my life and how they morph into everything I am experiencing now.
    Quick example:
    I am in a space where my career is beginning to pick up properly, I can see myself and the things I really want to do, where I am heading. I can also see how the beginning has gotten me here, the late nights, the sacrifices, the frustrations and everything in between…
    And the deeper I go, the more I realise how much more I have to put in in the above mentioned.
    (Too long, didn’t read?) – 1
    It’s just universes apart from what you know and can do now to the full potential of self… And I am here for all of it.
    (Too long, didn’t read?) – 2
    Overly simplified:
    I am in a space where I know that I don’t know enough and it’s, very very exciting. (I have goosebumps typing this, that’s how excited I am)

    Thank you for sharing your stories with us Biko, they’re very inspiring.

    2
  47. I am 38. Halfway to 39. I recently learned that you can create a fund so that the interest pays school fees for your children without touching the principal. Imagine if I got this knowledge at 25!

    1
  48. I am almost 30 and I have recently learnt to do it afraid.
    Send that resignation letter, Send that email, Take that shot, Wear that dress.Send that application.
    Do it AFRAID!

    3
  49. Happy birthday Biko. Your penmanship is an awe.
    I have learnt that in life most lessons MUST be learnt through a gutting experience. Some level of deep hurt. Some level of awakening. Only then will you understand how and why things/people happen. Only then will you grow.

    4
  50. Physiologically, it takes about 20 minutes to calm down the anger hormone.

    Within those minutes, I can take a walk, I can shower, I can nap and i can eat. If am still pissed off some hours later, I check myself. I ask myself what am I really angry about?

    I have also learnt that it is hard to piss me off when I have money. When I am broke am easily angered. (Weche iweyo)

    Happy birthday Biko

    2
  51. Happy birthday, chocolate man. This is our month (I turned 45 on 02/10/2024).

    Nothing lasts forever!

    PS This blog is full of wisdom. Kumbe the world is full of philosophers!

  52. I’m 45 and I’ve learnt that the best act of self-care/love is to stay in the confines of God’s commands. To be precise: keep my heart free from bitterness, resentment through authenticity, empathy (to self & others) and forgiveness.

    3
  53. I have learnt that parents are also human. Not super human, they do their best and sometimes they hurt us real bad. It is what it is.

    2
  54. I have learnt that those friends you make at your workplace are just workmates. Very few will think of you when you leave that place. You are lucky of you can forge a few good friendships from every place you find yourself in.

    2
  55. I have gone through all these and I’ve seen big numbers in the form of age. Numbers as big as the shoe on my foot right now. I’m only 21. sorry that came out wrong. I am gladly and boldly 21. Lesson therein- be glad and be bold.

  56. The only thing guaranteed in this life is death, so I live to cherish every second, minutes and hours.
    I allow my emotions to fill me. I cry and make the ugliest face ever, and I smile till my jaws hurts
    I’ve learned to live and love life that’s doesn’t equate to comparison and jealousy influenced.
    i get triggered but I use that as fuel force to get me going.
    I’m more profound in love loving life and love and most of all to speak my mind

    Happy belated birthday Biko

  57. mambo biko,,I was introduced to you by my friend rono,and man this one has been very nice.its like sitting under atree ushago and watch the day pass(it’s a feeling). happy birthday biko