Case for Sponsors

   486    
2

A Kenyan lady  somewhere in the Europe sent a message to my inbox: “Hello Jackson,  I know that many Kenyans out there are roasting girls over this issue of girls going out with guys old enough to be their fathers. It is also happening here in the diaspora. Worse still if the guy is white because they get insulted for going out with ancestors and so forth. I get offended by this as I’ve dated two very wonderful men of the age. One was 64 when I met him and then the latest is a guy who is 70. Well, I dated him online as he lives in another country and I haven’t been able to meet him, but we chatted on skype for over 6 months, and we loved each other. I’m  in my early 30’s, I’m a professional woman who is well balanced. I just wanted a story out there to say that not every woman who is going out with a guy old enough to be her father is in search of a sponsor and that there can be true love involved.  Something deeper.  Can I share my story and be anonymous?”

I said sawa, send me something I see if it’s the right fit. In the meantime I Googled her up: Graduate degree in International Relations. Currently involved in research work. 

You know how when you see a young local girl with an ageing mzungu guy you automatically think to yourself, “Oh, it’s definitely about the rent”? Well, this girl says, it could also be about love.

Don’t roll your eyes just yet.

Here is her case.

 

  ***

 

First of all, I have to say I had a very good relationship with my late dad. He spoilt me – I’m an only girl – so by going out with elderly guys I’m not trying to fill some void. I just feel comfortable with them.  These men have mostly been professionals, men who run their own companies. It’s not even been about how they look – although height matters to me a lot – but looks don’t matter much. The thing with an elderly guy, and the thing I found most attractive, is that they had it together. Nothing is as sexy as a man who has it together.

I  don’t feel attracted to young guys- white or black. I have gone out with a couple of white guys in their 50s, and some had complexes.  But mostly I just didn’t feel connected, didn’t have chemistry with them, so we went out a couple of times before I ended it as I didn’t see a future with them.

 

I have also tried to go out with a couple of young African guys – big disappointment. One abandoned me when I was pregnant, so now I’m a single mum. I’ve crossed out African guys out here because they are generally time-wasters, especially the West Africans. Many are married back in their country, and they are out to waste your time while they have a good time.


As my story goes; I was searching for a guy online, on Afro-Introductions, an interracial dating site. I met all sorts, but didn’t rush to meet any of them until we’d chatted online sufficiently and I felt that there was something. I met (let’s call him) Mr P online. I think I sent him an interest then he read my profile and sent me one long mail about how he found me intriguing. I was busy with studies, and taking care of my child, so I didn’t communicate much with him but he persisted and urged me to meet him.

He asked me out to dinner and  asked if he should dress in a suit (cute). I declined dinner as my child was young at the time, and babysitters here are expensive. When I finally met him, we seemed to hit it off. I was very impressed by him in person; he looked better (most people look worse when meeting them in person after seeing their pictures online), he was well dressed, and quite tall (all ticks for that). We had a very nice lunch. Frankly, the lunch was at a five star restaurant where the waiters wore uniform (not common for waiters here to wear uniform, they are mostly kids earning extra pocket money so they come in casual clothes) and we had a five course meal.  I think it was my first time to eat caviar and oysters – the food was in small bits but really well plated and presentable. A proper first date, not a date in a loud bar with alcohol and his friends.

Anyway, I liked him, we had chemistry, and he was genuinely interested in me. He was 64 at the time and had just retired, his company was being run by his son, who at 35 was closer to my age, but I didn’t mind.  He’d had a couple of heart surgeries, the triple bypass or something like that and now exercises daily – goes cycling or walking. He took good care of himself and lived a healthy life which I admired.

The sex was fabulous, contrary to what you might think. He took his time with foreplay and with the actual intercourse. He was always so energetic even with his heart problems. He took viagra. He declared it at the beginning and he didn’t hide around taking it in the bathroom. My experience with mature white men is that they have no reason to hide things, they are forthright with who they are. I was fine with him taking viagra.  He focused on what I wanted in bed, it wasn’t just about him getting satisfied. He also loved cunnilingus. He didn’t come after five minutes like the younger men I have encountered before, leaving you stranded. And that nonsense of white men having small male parts? I can tell you it’s not true. At least not with this guy.

We saw each other for a period after that but had to call it quits, largely because he is still (legally at least) married..and at his age, he doesn’t want to divorce just to marry someone else. He has a good relationship with his wife, and kids, but they have been separated for six years and live apart. His other reason not to divorce is simply because he doesn’t want to divide all the wealth and assets, and blah blah.. , so he’s comfortable with having a relationship on the side, but he can’t get married. He will never get married again. In Netherlands anyway, many people prefer to live together rather than settling down permanently, so it’s not strange to him, to have a girlfriend and never to marry her.

Though I loved/liked him, I couldn’t continue with these circumstances, given that I am a born-again Christian and each time I met him, we went too far. He didn’t understand that the bible forbids fornication, because he’s an atheist and doesn’t believe in God.

We broke up. We are good friends; he still sends me lovely messages and calls me pet names, but we’ve both moved on. He helps me a lot when I am in a fix financially. When I’m with him, or when I was with him everything flowed – we had a very strong connection. I didn’t feel like he was an old guy, or I was a sugar baby, it was genuine love, and he’s one person I could tell anything, and he could give me good advice. Still does. He also really encourages me and believes in me, he is a strong support – if I tweet an article of mine, he will retweet it, and other small things like that. I liked that a lot, the attentiveness.

 

I guess people are just people, whether they are old or young. I mean, he wants the same things as any Kenyan man in his 30s would want. If I got cross at him and told him off, he would apologize like we were age mates. He was young but he was also old. Does that make sense?

Then the second guy. Let’s call him Mr M. We chatted online for six months then we called it quits – he lives very far away, in Australia and we’d chosen to meet over Christmas but I blew it and didn’t go. Not that I didn’t want to go, but I just couldn’t go at that time, so I canceled the ticket. He had planned so many activities and was angry that I didn’t come and stopped chatting with me for a while. He had been divorced over 6 years ago, and then again after a second brief marriage.


We chatted constantly. I found him witty, funny, and successful. He’s an award-winning architect and I admire that. He has two sons, one daughter, they are all in their 30s.  He’s born-again, and he would send me all sorts of inspirational material and books. He’s also a health freak, eats gluten-free bread and food, lots of fruits, takes many vitamins and minerals, and does a walk everyday during his break time. Most older men tend not to take care of themselves better.

We had chemistry as well, he felt that our relationship was well-fitted like a glove – but he said he didn’t want to have another child. His children are grown up and my child is still young, so I think he just didn’t want to go through bringing up other children. I wanted different things so we had to call it quits, even though he is single and really praying to meet a woman with whom he will settle down.

When we broke up I told him if I ever made it to Australia, I would visit him. He said if he was dating at the time, his girlfriend would have to be there. (Ouch). I respected that.  He advised me to look for someone younger who desires to have a young family.

I’m not in a hurry to begin searching for someone.

I didn’t see these men as old men. They cracked jokes, and I felt more relaxed around them than I do around young men. Take the recent guy, I liked to send him pictures of me in my undergarments because I felt free to do so, and we would laugh about it. He’s probably the only guy I have sent pictures of myself in lingerie.

And here is the privilege that younger men lack but older men have plenty of: comfort. Older men are very comfortable with who they are. No pretence or apologies. Younger men want to be project who they aren’t and that causes conflict because you never know who you are dealing with. Tomorrow you will wake up and he’s someone else. Older men also have a presence to them.

Take Mr P for instance. As casual as he was with me, out in the public he seemed to have this commanding presence, an aura that make people respect him and act a little submissive around him. I guess because he has been C.E.O for years, he probably acts like he’s the boss of everyone, and with his height and white hair, I reckon everyone just falls into their place.


With Mr M, looking back I feel he came into my life with as much force as a tsunami, and when it was over it really felt like a tsunami had knocked me down, caused destruction and I was left alone to pick up the pieces. He was very romantic, and what else does a woman need? He did more from many continents away than a young man who is in the same town would have. He sent so many mails in a day: he would send scriptural encouragement, or a couple photos of him, or of his walk, or things he saw as he was walking whether it was flowers or the setting sun. He would flirt. Small thoughtful things. Most men now don’t know how to flirt, they just want you to send them naked pictures, and talk about what they will do to you when you meet. Which sometimes turns out isn’t much.

We skyped for hours a day. He would impact on me the benefits of healthy eating, of lifestyle change. Of course he was worried that if we got together and I was eating all these chips, and cookies in front of him, he would add weight. Hehe. Then he felt I wasn’t writing enough about God and the gospel (I mainly write about travel) he felt that I should use my writing talent to spread the word instead. In short he was a wonderful man.

Of course there are women who date older men for the money, just like their are younger women who date men their age bracket for money. But not all. Not every older man is a sponsor.

I think age is just a number. Of course if I marry someone elderly I would like to be with them and share my life with them. Contrary to what most people imagine, when I date an older man my plan isn’t to have them die so that I inherit their wealth. I’m making my own money, but when you see me with an older white man you automatically imagine I’m with him for his money. Sometimes I might be the one housing him and supporting him, how would you tell?

I find jokes about sponsors and ancestor jokes on social media heartbreaking because for some of us, this is a chance for love. And some of us look for it our whole lives and when we finally find it in someone much older we get judged for it. For seeking happiness.

 

Photo Credit: Huffington Post

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

2
486 Comments
      1. Not well articulated. She was definately in for wealth. She was even advised to seek a young man contrary to what she tries to make us believe.

        1
  1. I have just read the “don’t roll your eyes yet” and come down to comment first just so y’all know I am rolling eyes BIG TIME and I have big eyes…haya back to story

  2. The lady still embodies what others do. She is insecure, and needy. She left Mr P but still asks her for financial help. Sponsors are just that, sponsors and all ladies want from them is money. Why did she not just stick with the Mr P guy even after he refused to marry her. Lots of inconsistencies in her alibi. I don’t buy her story totally

    1. Me too.coincidentally both of them were well off, owning their own companies, luxurious 5 star hotels, such.

    2. Let me just say to you that when you choose to be a strong critic make sure that you’ll be ready to be more critically criticized too

      1. Prince lenny, I am with you. Yes we do not judge but we should as so called Christians. Sex outside marriage is sin, period. Let’s not pretend here okay.If we say we are Christians, then we should be Holy because God is Holy and calls us to be Holy.

        1. Well it’s our generation that has normalised sin; married, separated; fornication is fornication. The things we conveniently forget in our quest and search for love and happiness. But the cross remains our refuge.

        2. Did you read past that really? That was the reason they broke up…it was bothering her…She identified her sin and was ready to change her ways, something that a christian should do!! Being a christian doesn’t mean you don’t sin, it means you are striving to let go of your sins.,

          2
          1. Get the facts right before you go defending her just because she is a woman. This woman broke up with him not because she was involved in sex outside marriage but because the man did not want to divorce his wife and being her selfish self, she was not ready to be the side B chick. If he was not married she would be ok being romped every other weekend. Born again christian my foot.

        3. True. Plus you really cannot claim Christianity but talk about how good the sex is and how you’d send Mr. M photos of you in lingerie. Call it judging but hey, Bible says you shall know them by their fruits and those fruits she’s bearing tell a whooole different story.

          2
        4. Dear Fiona, here’s why the gang doesn’t judge. Especially on religious grounds. The context is different. But the lesson is the same.

          On her radio show, Dr. Laura said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

          The following response is an open letter to Dr. Schlesinger, written by a US man, and posted on the Internet.

          It’s funny, as well as quite informative:

          Dear Dr. Laura:

          Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

          1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

          2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

          3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

          4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

          5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

          6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

          7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

          8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

          9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

          10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

          I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

          Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

          Your adoring fan,

          James M. Kauffman,

          Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,

          Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

          P.S. (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian.)

          2
          1. I’d pause the same questions if I knew the Bible that well and if I possessed as much wit. Thanks for that Clive.

        5. Actually as Christians we 100% should not judge. Her saying she was a born again Christian is not fodedr to slut shame her because we are not perfect Christian or not.We have weaknesses some are more prominent than others but weaknesses all the same!

          1. You shall know them by their fruit…..the verse escapes me. Truly she is not a christian and she should not claim to be one if her actions are unchristian. I think we are allowed to judge, I mean you cant claim to be a good person when your deeds are all bad can you?

    1. Yes, Even Satan is a christian

      “Though I loved/liked him, I couldn’t continue with these circumstances, given that I am a born-again Christian and each time I met him, we went too far. He didn’t understand that the bible forbids fornication, because he’s an atheist and doesn’t believe in God.”

        1. It means accepting Jesus in your life and having a change of lifestyle so that it looks more like what God wants of us from the bible. We still sin but if we repent we will go to heaven whereas if someone who is not born again sins and repents they wont go to heaven

    2. Me too. I find it disgusting that people can happily compromise their Christian faith and then confidently not to mention publicly name the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Utterly disgusting.

  3. First, the issue of sponsors or blessers as South Africans refer to them might seem to be normal in the Western countries. We both know that you wouldn’t fall for a poor old man. Usually they are always the rich old men. So in most cases it’s always about the money. About love? I do not know of one

    1. And there are so many poor wonderful old black men who does more than what he described.Do people ask why relationships fail? be it with older guy or young woman? There’s nothing like what she said.Anyway what i know,having been dating for a while now,in that game,everybody has interests to protect. If you do protect them right,then that so called love lasts.

    2. I believe older broke men do not seek love owing to their broke status hence rich guy have the balls to approach young women.

  4. Huh… Okay. I think you have forgotten one major point. If he gets too chatty, you can hide his fake teeth.

    1
    1. By the fact that Mr. M or was it Mr.P? had a son that was 35 years old should have just been a turn off in itself. Let us call a spade a spade, it is like you slept with your ‘father’ my friend. It is non of my business anyway.

      1
  5. Lol fisi ni fisi ata in old age.
    But if it’s not about the money, why hasn’t she dated poor old men.
    The ones who can’t afford viagra. Lakini triple bypass surgery? Lol.

    Then she called men in their 50’s too young. Huyu sijui tuseme ana shida gani.

    1. What if his heart fails during sex? Then he dies on top of you?
      I guess he ceases to be romantic then. Lol

  6. People have different reasons for doing things.
    I think, one of the reasons we marry is to have a companion. For this reason, I do not think it will be cool to marry a man in his 50’s or 60’s when you are in your 30’s. He is old and nearer to the grave than you are. Of course, young men die too but I just feel it’s better to marry people in the same age brackets as yours. That way, the probability of being a widow anytime soon, reduces.
    That’s what I think. Thanks for sharing your story.

    theinspirationalsquad.wordpress.com

    1. I feel alot of lies in her writting,she is not honesty. Alteast those who have travelled in foreign countries know this.

      1
    2. I like your thinking and that is the normal way…But there are times when one must go beyond the normal…Finding love is tricky these days…

    3. The heart wants what the heart wants. Age is nothing but a number. You may have the best 10 years of your life with the old guy or dreary 40 years with a young guy. It isn’t how long it is… it is the life in the years you will have together.

      1
      1. in as much as thats the case you got to think about the people around you unless you live in an island

        1. So you should compromise your happiness for others? Would they be willing to do the same for you?
          In as much as I don’t advocate for this sponsors business, when it comes to personal happiness, I say; Live and Let Live. At the end of it all, each shall answer for his own ways.

        2. I learnt it’s never worth it to make sacrifices for people (and what they think), unless its your child’s feelings you are considering. The rest don’t matter!!

      2. Biko, JB has spoken like 10 wise men. I was with a guy withinin my age bracket as most guys claim here. Those were the most painful years of my life. 10 years that I consider wasted. Been in a relationship for three years with a slightly older guy, and what??? Even if it were to end today, has been the very best moments of my entire life. Finding love is tricky these days. Even young men are looking for ladies to support them. And they are all over the place. I know it, you know it, they know it!

        1
    4. Life isn’t guaranteed, I have friends who lost their ‘young spouses’ people dying in their late twenties and early thirties. Life, love, marriage, those are big risks that we take. We don’t know how long these people will be in our lives. It could be for a couple of days or for our entire lifetime. I try not take these gifts of love and life for granted. I try make the most of each moment together as though it was our last and I’m grateful to hit the anniversary milestones, 10, 20, etc years of friendship and relationship. I hope I live long enough to see my great grandchildren with all the people that matter in my life. But should they be taken away, I will mourn the loss but also be thankful for the times we were privileged to share. Everyday is a gift. Make the most of it.

      1. Thank you! my point exactly when I penned the above. There are no guarantees in life except change.

  7. and talk about what they will do to you when you meet. Which sometimes turns out isn’t much….. no more say

  8. “Most men now don’t know how to flirt, they
    just want you to send them naked pictures,
    and talk about what they will do to you when
    you meet. Which sometimes turns out isn’t
    much”…. bam!! there goes the punchline of punchlines

    1. This is so true! My age mates are all talk with nothing to show for it. Perhaps I should start entertaining older men.

    2. This is true. She said it so bluntly… And it is so painfully true. I almost missed the other parts of her story. PUNCHLINE OF PUNCHLINES! Heheheee, yawa thoo!

  9. Its an okay piece. Feels as if the writer was in the relationship with the Dutch guy on his terms though. but then again it maybe the reason things didn’t work out for them. I guess it’s good to remember that there are 2 things you cannot use logic to explain; Love and Faith.

  10. ‘I’ve crossed out African guys out here because they are generally time-wasters, especially the “West Africans.” ‘

    Being a Nigerian, am like…hehehehe…..really???

    1
    1. I’m sorry if I came out as offensive, a good number of Nigerian guys living in Amsterdam and Rotterdam are up to no good. One just has to be alert in dealings with them.

  11. Okay now after reading “GIRL HOOKED ON SPONSORS!!”She even said it in all her writing. Talking of being supported financially and Viagra lol. Sponsor!!!

        1. OK, so no one has been supported by their young(er) significant others? So just because there has been support/money there cannot be love? When did those two things become mutually exclusive? People?!

  12. well depends on which part you were fishing the african men that disappointed you, but good for you.
    live and let live

  13. It’s possible she dates the older guys for love, but this article makes her look more like a cyber whore that a woman searching for love.#mytwopence

  14. “sponsor” doesn’t mean older white guy rather relationship founded on a mans ability to provide financial support… Purely. Doesn’t matter if the person is married, older, younger, single, black or white…. It’s glamorous and acceptable prostitution… Has nothing to do with love… the article is from a misinformed place.. Social media isn’t a buzz about relationships and love across ages and races rather it’s about the sponsor phenomenon that is quickly becoming an acceptable norm in KENYAN society.

    Glamorized Prostitution…

    1. I totally agree with you Mufasa. I t is just a polite way of saying that am a prostitute. Sleeping with someones husband is a bid noo. Why do women try so hard to justify this rot for heaven sake? Epuka ushenzi ladies. .

      1. There are men who do the same now, it’s not just women. Let’s be gender sensitive…give the men their due as well…ahem!

  15. This is lame. Period. No judging, but people should do what they want with their lives and stop justifying it! You only owe yourself an explanation. If your heart does not condemn you then you are either doing the right thing or your conscience is seared.

  16. I hope men will read this and realize sometimes it’s not always about the money. I agree with her on older men being more mature.

  17. Good read. Kudos to the lady for knowing what and who she wants. Love has no boundaries and we dont choose who to fall in love with. In her case, both men were single and available. Nothing wrong there. However, seeing an older man who has a wife and kids, knowing very well that he is married and NOT available is just plain wrong. Hence the secrecy. So i’m not against a person having a sponsor or whatever. I’m against someone having a sponsor who is married or committed to someone else. Families and Lives are wrecked.

  18. …..Most men now don’t know how to flirt, they just want you to send them naked pictures, and talk about what they will do to you when you meet. Which sometimes turns out isn’t much…..
    you puncture egos an kill chauvinism with such statements, and cry out that we ain’t romantic.(roll eyes)

    1
    1. The ‘cost of dating’ is dependent upon locale. You for instance could be a big ass sponsor somewhere in Kathonzweni or Belgut. Leave Nairobi for the big boys.

      1
    2. @Horace sasa hiyo ni Econimics gani kwa mapenzi? Not all ladies measure guys up with the sponsor yardstick!!

  19. Sigh. I don’t know if this ends up being a case for or against.
    She’s a born again Christian but didn’t mind going out with, sexin and taking money from a married man? Also taking money? I admit that it’s possible to be attracted to older men but this story was 1 part the point and 5 parts bull.

  20. Let the lady Sugar coat it all she wants but fact is:a sponsor is a sponsor and an ancestor is an ancestor.Period

  21. I hear you Single Mom, Writer, Travel & Food Junkie, I feel you.

    ‘Project who they aren’t’ fitting!

  22. No shade…but when I read that part..I am born-again..I put my phone down for a minute…Not judging though!!

  23. you only love old men coz you got pregnant and the young man walked away and so you have a wrong perception of all young energetic males,you just trying to get back at the young men out there .. and then again you are 30.. sounds like you are well established .. that is not a sponser case.. here in kenya girls young as 20 go out wth old guy.. now thats a sponsorship program..

  24. we need a definition of the word sponsor at this rate we might just all be sponsors or the sponsored. I think we need to also change a wedding vows to include a mpango wa kando or sponsor. ” Do you take this man and his sponsor to love …..

  25. Mmmmmm! true it’s not always good to judge before you get the story. but I know many still rolled their eyes Biko even if you said not to.

  26. It always thrilling to know the other side of the story..
    I understand where she is coming from but she represnts the 1% which if may isnt much of a postion.

    But oh well she put her point through.

  27. And the way I used to tar them with the same brush, this is quite an eye opener. Mad respect girl,your life,your choice.
    I hope you find happiness in whatever man you choose to date.

  28. I agree with her on two fronts, most young men of our day don’t know what romance is ; how to woo a woman. they simply don’t want to put in extra “work” in their relationships.
    Secondly the little things that our men do for us like sending encouraging notes or bringing you a chocolate that he got you just because you crossed his mind really matter.
    Young men can learn a lot from the sentiments expressed here.

  29. She said nothing new…Just her escapades with diaspora sponsors, skype and morning jogging.Lucky she got space on such a blog.

    1
  30. “Younger guys don’t work for me. I know. I have dated two 50 something year olds and
    it didn’t work…”
    Wait , What?
    Young? 50?

  31. “He helps me a lot, when am in a fix, financially.” We couldn’t Miss this. I mean it takes money, a lot of time and work to make a man figure his life out. You just want Instant coffee that you never participated in its process.

    1. He obviously gets something out of it too…I don’t know why the men are not being vilified. They get nubile, young things in return for financial favours. Se ems like a fair transaction to me, unless of course the party(ies) involved are married. Another thing.. is it any better if the sponsor involved is closer in age to the sponsee? If so, why? It’s all the same to me.

  32. Chisos!!I have a lot to say but summing it up.I have no right to judge but she has to get her act together as a born-again Christian.Live according to God’s commands and the right man will find you.Watch the ‘no more sheets’ sermon.

  33. Okay. Viagra, and a 65 yr old man going down on her. My word! Okay, the idea, not bad. Us imagining it is what’s bad. Actually, me.

  34. There is truth in this : I just wanted a story out there to say that not every woman who is going out with a guy old enough to be her father is in search of a sponsor
    and that there can be true love involved. www.shesatomboy.com

    1. These guys were pure sponsors.Is it a coincidence that they were moderately wealthy? No matter how beautiful it is made to appear the bottom is, she was damn insecure and addicted to elderly men.

    2. How does aborn again Christian even tolerate an atheist? Is like convincing a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana.. (sipping ☕)

      1
  35. Born again Christian and You had sex with a married man who isn’t your husband?? Bitch please, spare me the sanctimonious self-righteous Bullshit!!

    1. heart condition with viagra, worse still born again and bonking someones husband. what the freaking fuck is this bullshit. who buys this kind of story

    1. Me too! I’m all for the gentlemen silver foxes. No apologies at all. Life is too short for all the drama younger men bring to a woman’s life.

      1
      1. You wouldn’t want to jump an essential step in life by missing the drama that comes with dating a young fellow.

  36. heee, the interwebs are full or drama. From the crazy stories on twitter to Biko’s story for day. Well, I think I will only say let everyone make a choice and learn to live with the choice made.

  37. Say NO to sponsors. They have made life very difficult to young men who are try to have someone to love because the women have options…and wait until your daughter has a sponsor you will understand how worse it could get.
    www.ogetoevans.com

  38. What exactly is the defination of a sponsor-old and rich?what about those who are old but not exactly rich?I say to each their own.Personnaly i would never date any guy within my age bracket the older the better

      1. I find it funny how we judge other people based on what is right to us.She has an opinion of HERSELF and what she thinks is right,at least to her understanding.Humans are full of bile judging even her Christianity stand.God is not hiring!

  39. A rose by any other name would still be a rose.
    sex with an old man {+20} your age is called sex with a sponsor and as we all know the sponsor is always in the market to have new younger chiqs..and that is wat happens here.

  40. I completely get her. Not that am for sponsors. No, not at all. But don’t we all deserve a chance at love? Infact, some of these younger women who look for sponsors are better of than most who go around sleeping with young men for all the wrong reasons and calling love. Isn’t it both fornication?
    Lets just all stop judging. Live and let live dear people. Live and let live.

    1
  41. Funny how its ladies admonishing other ladies for dating sponsors. Thank you ladies (the ones who hate sponsors), us young men with hollow pockets feel y’all in our corner. my question is, when did wasting several hours of your day on Skype become a benchmark of romance.?

  42. Meh! That’s the general feeling I got when I read this.Feels like a story told to project an image, not a story told as it is. from the heart. Also, this chic is broken. And she doesn’t even realize it or maybe doesn’t want to admit it. “With Mr M, looking back I feel he came into my life with as much force as a tsunami, and when it was over it really felt like a tsunami had knocked me down, caused destruction and I was left alone to pick up the pieces. He was very romantic, and what else does a woman need?” No there is so much more a woman needs. Also if someone who fits her prince charming profile came along, I think she would still run. Addicted to the comfort of being detached yet with someone, I can have a good shag in the evening and still live my life during the day. The commitment, the challenge, the perseverance, the overwhelming nature that love is is definitely not this. #my2cents

    1. I don’t think I would run, and no, I am not broken. I’m not addicted to the comfort of being attached and yet with someone, but thank you for that psycho-analysis. I am single presently and I decided to put this out there, just to show people that it is possible to love someone older, and when I do, I don’t want people referring to him as a fossil or ancestor. I’ve tried to have younger prince charmings in my life, those relationships didn’t work, and believe me I put in my all..I was committed, I persevered and I loved..didn’t work. But thanks again.

      1. Sorry but explain to me the part of being a born again christian and banging someone’s elses husband (they were separated not divorced). Your story is full of shit…sorry “my opinion”

        2
  43. Mafisi Sacco should appoint her the Country representative in the Netherlands, she is doing well. Why does she have to explain herself with so many sentences including saying things about being saved and at the same time fornicating…doesn’t make sense.
    www.ogetoevans.com

    1. I’m still saved by the way. I made mistakes in the past, I fell, I fornicated. I admitted my mistakes, I repented, I moved on. No amount of judgement will change the fact that God has forgiven me.

  44. Am not an old man but i know that old men have it all together, which is all women are looking for.

    1. Anonymous Writer. I General Zod, being over 100 years old myself, hereby approve of your dating these older men. Leave these young 50 year olds to lasses in their 20s.

  45. There’s a point somewhere in there if you look hard enough.But on this cold Nairobi day let’s hope this makes for a heated debate. Also am I the only one thinking she wants to recreate what she had with her dad? Okay minus the sex and Viagra and lingerie pictures.

    1. I’m not sure that is what I’m trying to do, but thanks, gave me something to think about. As well, I never imagined I’d ever date a man old enough to be my father, sometimes we don’t nitpick who we choose to love. I haven’t been fortunate with younger guys, and God knows I’ve tried. But good point.

  46. You know at the end of the day everyone has there own life and their own sense of right and wrong. Our comments don’t change someone’s ways regardless of how inspirational we think we are. So respect everyone and their choices if you want to be respected also.
    Thank you for this article

  47. The comment section though… All y’all born again Christians … So quick to cast stones. Very ‘un-christian’.

  48. Live and Let Live…human beings will judge you for everything that you do, we are wired to find comfort in pointing out things we perceive as flaws in others forgetting our own giant closets that we keep hidden. So if you are happy with a clear conscience – do you.

  49. I thought the denial couldn’t get any worse,and then she said’born again Christian’. I’m definitely ROLLING MY EYES. Repeatedly! #sponsorbyanyothernameisstill…

  50. The comments on here tho – hehehe! Let me just laugh. I think she’s lying to herself about many faucets of her life, starting from her relationship with her dad, then her religion, then her love life. I wish her all the best though. Her choice is her choice.

    1. Facets, not Faucets. Faucet= Tap, like the kind you find in the garden or at a sink. Facets are sides to an object or perspectives to something.

    2. Your right Lyavule, about it being my choice. You are wrong about lying about the many faucets of my life; I have no reason to lie to a bunch of strangers about my relationship with my dad, my religion and my love life.

  51. A researcher who makes such generalization?

    “I’ve crossed out African guys out here because they are generally time-wasters, especially the West Africans. ”

    Ni hayo tu kwa sasa

  52. guys be hating because ladies have discovered this forbidden fruit(older men/sponsors) is sweeter. Just saying the truth. Age is just but a number and if I relate 100% with babu,I will definitely date and even get married to him. I ain’t going to date a guy just because he is younger.

  53. I commend her for the courage to write and justify her actions but it’s wrong on so many levels this is the basis of socialites

  54. Kenyans will not be standing before God on judgement day!! They will be right next to him/her rolling their eyes, giving advice and sliding in their opinions!

  55. By this story she doesn’t represent any small or special category. As a matter of fact she just repeated the usual young-lady-old-man-with-money story that claim without any surprise to have found love. Well that line of Christianity makes a new special category.

  56. Its simple…Pick a struggle, know what you want, indulge and get carried away… just don’t be everywhere and definitely dont expect favours in a bid to sell ecstasy to a soul..The keys to emotional elation were given to you for free in the first place. Lets not digress and make companionship a trade when finance is the master key!

  57. A high percentage of older men in their sixties & seventies are comfortable with who they are! They have the advantage of experience. We cannot fault young men for being unsettled. Its the mark of being youthful. I think she wants a daddy’s kind of love. Anyway, to each her own. May she find true love!

  58. Am not buying that. The lady is a writer, she could easily come up with such story. And somehow all the older men she dates are rich.

  59. I’m with her 200%. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. So people need to relax. If an old man is dating a young woman for her age, why should she not date him for his money? We need to stop with the double standards. She’s born again and is having sex. And I get the judgement. But let he who has no sin be the first to cast a stone. We’re all human, we fall down and we get up. So leave this chick alone. I appreciate her honesty especially [her struggle] with having sex outside marriage. Just look around at all Christians who fall/fell. Israel Houghton for one. I had to pick my jaw from the floor, on this one. His music instantly presents me to the throne of grace!. And then there was Jaunita Bynum, Benny Hinn’s wife, Desmond Tutu’s daughter…, I’ll be here all day if I start listing them down. And have you forgotten that David, the man after God’s own heart was an adulterer and murderer? So please let’s relax on chastising her. And she can date whoever her heart or her pocket desires. And the end of the day when she lays down to sleep, ni yeye na mungu wake wanajuana. Even here in Kenya, men and women get frisky with each other cross-generationally. Have y’all forgotten about Jacob Juma and Cherly Kitonga? Why is it fair game when it’s black-on-black and not black-on-white? So please let’s a chill pill on this one. And don’t get me started on a tirade about most Kenyan men vs most white men…

    1. Thank you very much. Yoú’ve said it in so many words. Putting the flesh down is a daily battle for me, but by God’s grace I am making it. This is cyberspace..but most folks here have no idea what I had to go through in real life, and they may never know the struggles christians face on a daily basis, if they haven’t come to know Christ personally. I dated this guy in the past, I’ve come a long way since then, and I am by no means justifying sins committed, but I penned down things as they were as well as the decision to break up for the sake of Christ.

  60. Sponsors are great people,how would Gor Mahia and AFC be without Sponsors.The motive of sponsorship should be clear from the word go.Even for the love birds

  61. She said not for the money and then gently sneaked in “financial support” ..ooh and the part about being born again while shagging the ancestor Shes not married to.. How convenient..

  62. Hehehe…born-again Christian I tell you. But I get her…her insecurities I mean. She was hurt and her time was wasted by a young man, so she thinks that the extreme end of the spectrum will not do that to her. Sticking to men that are in another cultural generation is not the answer though.

  63. Sometimes we cry, we write, we drink, etc just to get something off our chests; I believe the writer got something off her chest.
    Remember when girls started being told that “unleashing goods” strictly for love may not yield much, maybe just getting us into the wifey club! Then we were literally preached to that to meet deep pocketed jamaaz we need to move out of Eastlands into the leafy suburbs even if it is just the SQs!. Some of us noted this and vowed….
    Humans are different. For me, black men within my age bracket give me all the confidence as we are always on the same page in every aspect!

    1. For me, black men within my age bracket give me all the confidence as we are always on the same page in every aspect!
      Reply thats all that matters perfect

  64. I am never one to judge or throw shade but this one had bile rise in my gut and settle in my mouth leaving a very very bad taste. I read complexes in the writers life and I am halfway through the article.

  65. I have no problem with anyone dating whoever they want;younger or older, broke or rich so long as it is legal.
    My issue is the bullshit story you spin to justify your actions.Her story and actions do not concur for me.It’s your life to live no need to explain.
    We also live in a judgmental world. So any choice i make people are going to have opinions about it whether they voice them or not.
    My only responsibility is to be at peace with my choices.

  66. Wueeeh! Lakini this lady, I do not know how I feel about her. That whole thing about being saved had me rolling my eyes so far back I saw my own digestion taking place.
    Also, you cannot say one African man wronged you and therefore all African men must be awful creatures.An entire continent discounted because of what one person did? Aaaai. Iko shida kidogo.

    About dating older men (whether for money or for love or for both) hiyo ni siasa yako. That one is none of my business.

    1. With you on this one Magunga. I really don’t like it when people paint with broad brushes. my question to her would be ‘how many African men have you met and dated’. And out of two or three men you actually drew a conclusion?? And as for being a Born Again Christian, I do not for a moment think that being a Christian makes one immune to this kind of sin. But to talk about it so casually, as though it is actually the norm is a little disturbing – to me.

  67. is it a coincidence that all people she has dated are well off (financially at least?) it’s also a bit preposterous to dismiss the local african guyit takes time to build a stable financial empire and In the fullness of time, the young guy today will be old and have truckload of money. He will also be very mature and would be very appealing to Nubian lasses coming coming through colleges and universitiesso the cycle will be completed once again.

  68. Can someone define-born again Christian-for me please! If she had dated a broke 65year old who can’t afford viagra then i could have bought her crap but hell no! Fisilet ni fisilet tu ata akiwa disapora. Call a sponsor a sponsor and not a financially stable romantic elderly white haired man!

  69. This lady is broken and needs healing.She mentions that her baby’s dad left.At least she is born again,run to the Lord,lady,run.God will comfort you and help you find love!!

  70. sounds like a desperate plea for acceptance…the truth is its your life darling,your choices.We don’t all have to agree.I don’t!

  71. With all due respect for our sister in diaspora, she is just another socialite. When a woman start boasting of how she was helped financially (read paid), a huge dick, fabulous sex etc, she is just another Huddah

  72. We can’t hide behind the ‘we don’t judge’ veil and conceal the truth.
    Now when you mention born again Christian, ofcourse I will talk, why? Because being a Christian is walking in the light, and doing all that with these ‘witty’ men who sadly are also ‘Christian’ isn’t something you would expect Jesus to do nor allow, it would He?

    1. are you Jesus…did He hand you a mantle when He rose? Live, let live…do not judge, pray for each other and correct each other in gentle ways.

  73. have also tried to go out with a couple of young African
    guys – big disappointment. One abandoned me when I
    was pregnant, so now I’m a single mum.

    well…. she was hurt.. people do very weird things when hurt…

  74. I’ve crossed out African guys out here because they are generally time-wasters…i was searching for a man online…i’m a born again Christian.

    Enough, go get help mami while i try find my eyes at the back of my head.

  75. “Cunningulus” got me consulting Google.

    Umm… I don’t see anything people are fussing over here. I mean, if the chic wants to srew a 90 year old, seeing as 50 year olds are young men to her, let her screw the effing 90 year old. It’s her life.

    I have this feeling that one day when I’m old (65) I’ll be seeking comfort from younger women (30s). So who am I to judge?

  76. From a logical perspective, I would still say that this was sponsor/blesser case. The arguments presented only amount to what is referred to as “appeal to personal experience fallacy”. I am trying to find justification for whatever the lady is trying to defend but I find none. Deep in every relationship between a man and a woman lies the innate desire to use someone financially or resource wise. It is wired, from an evolutionary psychology’s perspective, in our genes apart from the mutated men who seek financial assistance from the women in their lives. Every relationship or every flirtation between a man and a woman is veiled with yet-to-come financial requests. It is only the amount that is requested for and the age difference that raises eyebrows. So I wouldn’t condemn a woman who gets into a relationship for the sake of securing her future. But the catch is… who is she securing her future with? Evolutionary psychology points towards a situation whereby a woman seeks financial/resource provision stability accompanied with other needs such as companionship, procreation and the fact that kids from the relationship will nor suffer from want. That is what is wired in us. However, some women and men have seen it fit to go for resource stability at the expense of other needs of a typical relationship. They desire a man or a woman for the sake of the money and for the fleeting moment; there is no consideration for the future or the products of such a relationship. This is no different from prostitution. As William Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet, “What is in a name?” There is no difference between a sponsoree or blessee and prostitution. You cannot condemn one and justify the other with the personal experiences narrated by this writer.

  77. Came for the article, stayed for the comments..if she was trying to sell us on the whole dating an older man thing is ok, she didn’t. Love is love, doesn’t matter what age you are but its also a reality that women are dating older guys for their money. She wanted to tell us she dates them for love but sadly it came off like she dates them for money.

  78. Thanks for the inspiration lady….@38 I’ve been worried stiff of being treated like a sponsor, darn i’m a teenager

  79. money makes men to behave or misbehave.A lady can want all the attention from me but since she is everything in the house,I’ll not be comfortable with that, thus I will not give ahundred percent attention to her. To her I am not romantic.

  80. Morality and Christianity go hang in hand, You can’t be ” born again ” whilst making love to men who were married before you were born.

  81. ….yeah Biko. What more does a woman need ? A woman who’s still emphatic that Mr.P still steps up to the plate financially if she makes that call. What would she need. Very tongue in cheek by the way. Only i don’t want to be a Mr.P to no one at 70s if i get to those moribund years. I want to be tending to my re creole onions in my small backyard nursery at that God-forsaken age. A happy farmer. Not some randy, old Mr.P . I hope that P means well by the way. hehe

  82. However much she tries to hide the ‘sponsoring effect’ in dating older men, it keeps popping up still. Let’s just say it is what it is. But here is the thing, when a man ‘has it together’ as she puts it, it means that she is emotionally and financially stable.
    Now that doesn’t come easily in life. You do not achieve that in a quarter century of existence. You toil and learn and get composed through the years. You have to ‘age’ to achieve stability. So men, lets ‘age’ with peace. Let the ladies be.

  83. Hehe…she has a right to live life as she chooses. That bit of fornication and
    being saved was confusing but not surprising I never get that born again thing.
    But back to the story , I went on two dates with a 45 years old and every time
    I tell my friends they roll their eyes and think am weard. Actually they were both
    great and conversation can not remember ever being on a date with such mature well rounded
    conversation. Yes older men are attractive.

  84. There’s lots of truth in there. Most, if not all, women want a man who as she said, ‘Has it together’ Ain’t nobody gat time for games. If we playin’ you state it from the get go so that I know what I’m getting into

  85. This lady is very real and I can relate with her especially when her closing remark says “…this is a chance for love..”, how true !! I think that our society is over-sexualized and so we almost cannot separate anything from that, let alone companionship, sense of belonging, food, work LOL. So people should make choices and not to try to convince anybody to accept or agree with them (yes even accepting is hard in this our society).

  86. the article is beautifully written and its about time
    people should stop judging and just mind their own business

  87. This is a mannerless woman.So mannerless she even goes on to write about it. And explain it in detail that she was screwing a man with a son her age and felt nothing about it. Smfh. I wonder how guys feel when they learn that the ex they coming after is like 30yrs their senior. Do you feel anything men?

  88. I don’t see what the big deal about sponsors is. 100 years ago our young grandmothers were hooking up with married older men in exchange for security. Back then it was called being a second, third or fourth wife. These days their granddaughters are doing the same thing but it’s called a sponsor.

  89. have you ever read something sooooo ridiculous you have no comeback? dumbfounded by how ridiculous this is yani. wow!

  90. Well, I agree that in normal circumstances the older you grow the wiser you
    get as a result of the many experiences you encounter in the school of life,
    I say normal because it’s also a sad reality that there are exceptional cases
    whereby some people seemingly just get sillier than they were when young.
    However back to what I was saying, I think it would have been nice for the
    writer to first of all define for us what love is according to her lest we
    end up discussing two different things assuming we are on the same page. Shannon L. Alder
    “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others
    and the stories they share about you.” I wonder, is the kind of legacy you
    would want to leave behind? Are these the values by which you are raising up
    your child with? The problems ailing our modern day relationships nowadays are quite numerous
    but just to perhaps point out a few that in my considered opinion are the major
    ones are that 1) There is a lack of good role models for our young men- men are
    being taught how to Real men by women. As much as the intents may be good, I think
    men are better placed to be trained/taught how to be men by fellow men who
    have gone ahead of them. Not women, who will teach men how to be men from a
    womans perspective. Its like a mechanic teaching you how to be a good neurosurgeon
    they themselves having never been one before.
    2) Building high-rise sky scrapers on bungalow foundations- everything has a source,
    the original inventor. And its from that originator that we derive the original intent
    the original idea. The writer having mention she is a “born again” Christian and indicated
    she knows that sex outside marriage is sin yet she proceeds in indulging herself regardless,
    we need to stay away from such people….have nothing to do with them! They
    will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.
    What is obtained from the throne of God can only be sustained in His presence,
    Take a fish outside water and it will die due to lack of air despite it being
    in abundance just like taking a lion in water and it will die for the same reason.
    For a relationship to succeed in addition to the manifold shocks and sheer hard work
    that are attendant to ensuring the success of it, we also need to rely on God
    who knows our hearts for guidance on how we should love and handle one another.
    The moment we want to rely our strength only, these are the inevitable outcomes.
    Stereotyping that young black men are a waste of time, who told you to date them
    all of them seriously? Ni hayo tu kwa sasa.
    to the pursuit of

  91. Well, I agree that in normal circumstances the older you grow the wiser you
    get as a result of the many experiences you encounter in the school of life,
    I say normal because it’s also a sad reality that there are exceptional cases
    whereby some people seemingly just get sillier than they were when young.
    However back to what I was saying, I think it would have been nice for the
    writer to first of all define for us what love is according to her lest we
    end up discussing two different things assuming we are on the same page. Shannon L. Alder
    “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others
    and the stories they share about you.” I wonder, is the kind of legacy you
    would want to leave behind? Are these the values by which you are raising up
    your child with? The problems ailing our modern day relationships nowadays are quite numerous
    but just to perhaps point out a few that in my considered opinion are the major
    ones are that 1) There is a lack of good role models for our young men- men are
    being taught how to Real men by women. As much as the intents may be good, I think
    men are better placed to be trained/taught how to be men by fellow men who
    have gone ahead of them. Not women, who will teach men how to be men from a
    womans perspective. Its like a mechanic teaching you how to be a good neurosurgeon
    they themselves having never been one before.
    2) Building high-rise sky scrapers on bungalow foundations- everything has a source,
    the original inventor. And its from that originator that we derive the original intent
    the original idea. The writer having mention she is a “born again” Christian and indicated
    she knows that sex outside marriage is sin yet she proceeds in indulging herself regardless,
    we need to stay away from such people….have nothing to do with them! They
    will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.
    What is obtained from the throne of God can only be sustained in His presence,
    Take a fish outside water and it will die due to lack of air despite it being
    in abundance just like taking a lion in water and it will die for the same reason.
    For a relationship to succeed in addition to the manifold shocks and sheer hard work
    that are attendant to ensuring the success of it, we also need to rely on God
    who knows our hearts for guidance on how we should love and handle one another.
    The moment we want to rely our strength only, these are the inevitable outcomes.
    Stereotyping that young black men are a waste of time, who told you to date them
    all of them seriously? Ni hayo tu kwa sasa.Well, I agree that in normal circumstances the older you grow the wiser you
    get as a result of the many experiences you encounter in the school of life,
    I say normal because it’s also a sad reality that there are exceptional cases
    whereby some people seemingly just get sillier than they were when young.
    However back to what I was saying, I think it would have been nice for the
    writer to first of all define for us what love is according to her lest we
    end up discussing two different things assuming we are on the same page. Shannon L. Alder
    “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others
    and the stories they share about you.” I wonder, is the kind of legacy you
    would want to leave behind? Are these the values by which you are raising up
    your child with? The problems ailing our modern day relationships nowadays are quite numerous
    but just to perhaps point out a few that in my considered opinion are the major
    ones are that 1) There is a lack of good role models for our young men- men are
    being taught how to Real men by women. As much as the intents may be good, I think
    men are better placed to be trained/taught how to be men by fellow men who
    have gone ahead of them. Not women, who will teach men how to be men from a
    womans perspective. Its like a mechanic teaching you how to be a good neurosurgeon
    they themselves having never been one before.
    2) Building high-rise sky scrapers on bungalow foundations- everything has a source,
    the original inventor. And its from that originator that we derive the original intent
    the original idea. The writer having mention she is a “born again” Christian and indicated
    she knows that sex outside marriage is sin yet she proceeds in indulging herself regardless,
    we need to stay away from such people….have nothing to do with them! They
    will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly.
    What is obtained from the throne of God can only be sustained in His presence,
    Take a fish outside water and it will die due to lack of air despite it being
    in abundance just like taking a lion in water and it will die for the same reason.
    For a relationship to succeed in addition to the manifold shocks and sheer hard work
    that are attendant to ensuring the success of it, we also need to rely on God
    who knows our hearts for guidance on how we should love and handle one another.
    The moment we want to rely our strength only, these are the inevitable outcomes.
    Stereotyping that young black men are a waste of time, who told you to date them
    all of them seriously? Ni hayo tu kwa sasa. https://iankhisa.wordpress.com

        1. Hahaha! I wondered too. Dude posted the article 3 times. Kama hiyo si emphasis nipepetwe na cheque book ya Chase bank!!

  92. So basically she was confirming what we. Thought all along.older men are looking for a PYT to have some fun with.none of them wants anything serious or to ever get married again.while younger girls date older men for security.financial support and some maturity.?what was supposed to be new here?

  93. No offence Biko, but her supposed defense of the older man just ensured I will never win an argument about the sponsor mentality among my peers because these men and their characteristics are what She seems to be ticking off a checklist; tall, not too handsome or overbearing, clearly established and above all the drama of youth. Of course no young man is going to fit this description.

  94. I am reading the comment section and wondering when being a Born again Christian meant being sinless and if so who then qualifies?!
    Beautiful read,very heartfelt

  95. I think we live only once,so she has a right to choose happiness over peoples opinion all those who are judging her yiu are not holy so you cant cast stones to her.As long as am happy even if it 90 year old why not settle down .You are all pretending that you dont like money then why are you struggling to work hard ?To live well so if someone else is providing that then why not enjoy yourself.some of you pretend that you are holier than thou but given a chance you will kill for a sponsor
    .SMH

  96. Sponsers my foot!! I will marry the man that will make me happy and content. Even if he is dying the next day due to old age. Of course people will talk,talk and talk but i will marry the one who is going to love me for who i am. well if am not lucky to find a man in his 30s i dont have to remain single forever!!!!

  97. and what’s this obsession lately with justifying the messed up shit we do? look if you can sleep at night, you can sleep at night..tell yourself whatever you need to hear, just stop trying to make us buy your justifications. born again christian? well I never..

  98. ‘…. and when it was over it really felt like a tsunami had knocked me down, caused destruction and I was left alone to pick up the pieces’-needy,broke and broken.

  99. live and let live. I’m all for people associating with whomever they please and for whatever reasons because they alone with suffer the consequences.

  100. But but but… the older men deserve love as well. Divorced, separated,living together, Viagra taking or not.This name calling, judging others for what is supposedly right or wrong is just a waste of time.

    My other point is that life as a born again xtian is very hard. Godspeed.

  101. You people that are bashing her cause she said she is a Christian, have you no sin?? If yes, you are sinless, go right ahead and keep at it. If no, hush!!! Everyone has their short comings!

  102. so she only realized shes born again after fornicating and getting a child,fornicating again with a married men and leaving him for not being able to marry her…….pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeee!

  103. I disagree with this whole sponsor business but there are lots of factors we consider before we date anyone, be they old or young. I’m not any more likely to date a young financially insecure guy than I am to date an older one. So this idea that it’s genuine love only when you are poor, I can’t.

  104. To our lovely ladies dating someone you wont marry means youre simply missing out on the one you could…..ànd just date a guy you can inyroduce to your mum and best friend at the same time….dont just settle…lovr yiurself more than you love the next person

  105. This story is just to complex and too many inconsistencies and I don’t see any case for sponsors here maybe because I am still stuck at “born again Christian”… Hey am not judging…

  106. I have read the post and the comments and I am still looking for love…. All I can see is financial aid, five-star hotel, and lingerie. Oooh, almost forgot. And born-again Christian hahaha. What is sad is that the girl/sugar daughter does not realize it!!

  107. ..read, appreciate a good narration, choice of words, grammar…etc. For Christians God will be the judge.This war on someone’s choice will never win..sponsor, gay, lesbianism, but not to justify the same.

  108. So now what is this chic on about? Really you are saved and we’re sleeping with a married fossil knowingly. And how convenient he is still coming thru for you financially. And what a coincidence the Australian fossil is also of heavy pockets and you happily sent him naked photos…… hmm mm still didn’t get your point. Or is the point white sponsors are better than Africans? I didn’t get the reason why you wrote this article.

  109. Y’all are acting like born again Christians don’t have sexual desire. Why repress something that is natural when you are in a committed relationship? Please note that I am not telling people to langa with every Tom, Kamau and Atieno.
    Anyway, these men she is dealing with don’t sound like they are desperately looking for just ANYONE to love. They sound like intelligent, accomplished individuals who would not get caught up in the designs of a young African girl looking to be supported through life. That one of them assists her financially is also a plus for her since it appears that they have a friendship going on and he does not expect that she will be back with him because he has helped her. There are many people here who have been helped by their exes but we don’t judge them the same way.

    http://zanzerose.blogspot.com

  110. Biko, this text needs help! Please have the text wrap so we can read our responses before we hit the post button.

  111. 1.I didn’t get the whole point of the article.
    2.girl is hurt deep inside.
    3.gang, y’all need chill pills
    4.A human is a human black or white, and yes Biko i rolled my eyes not once.
    5.learnt a new word cunnilingus, had to google it though.

    1. 3.gang,y’all need chill pills….Lol..but from where will I get entertainment while having my afternoon tea??

  112. Love is love and lucky are those who get to enjoy whatever version of it.
    But there was absolutely no point to this story I mean Jackson, jack,my man! What is this? I literally advertise your blog to people I even made my father start reading and then you allow such a pointless story in this work of art you have created?! Next time at least ask the girl to make a point and edit it for her..i am no writer but that was some sad writing?! Don’t let me down like that Jackson!

  113. If I want a sponsor, I will easily get a sponsor. I do not really care what other people think. I just live my life. Afterall, YOLO!

  114. Who else got this joke? So, I will laugh in this section in unison of our anonymous writer, hehe. “Of course he was worried that if we got together and I was eating all these chips, and cookies in front of him, he would add weight. Hehe.”

  115. From the numbers you have given us, it shows that Mr. and Mrs. P started their relationship when they were in their mid twenties. At that age, it is highly probable that Mr. P wasn’t as refined as he is right now. His company was just an idea he was incubating in his mind. Then through years of hard work and encouragement from Mrs. P, he grew the idea to a successful company, that will be his legacy even after he’s gone.
    Maybe he doesn’t want to divorce Mrs. P because deep down he knows how far they have come. And Mr. P should serve as an example that not all young men are a lost course. They just have the hunger and impatience Mr. P had when he was younger.

  116. I am all about love, lucky are those who get to enjoy some form of it at least once in their lifetime. So we shouldn’t be quick to judge her on who she chooses to love. I will however judge you Biko because this story was pointless! I mean what was her goal here because all she did was affirm every stereotype there is out there! She did not present a case for the sponsors at all!!! So Biko, my favorite artist (because your writing is a work of art) today I judge you for allowing this mediocrity into this space. Horrible writing poor logic and just sad! She needs a better story!

  117. I had read the post much earlier and even commented. I have come back to read the comments and read the post again. Biko, I want to believe you have played the gang hands down! And you are laughing hard as the comments flow in fast and furious.
    This is an apprentice of yours! Maybe s/he attends your writing classes or she is the teckie young girl in your office. You probably had a debate about this sponsor/sponsorship issue or you were to write about it. But then you let the apprentice write. In the process s/he ended up mixing up experiences, maybe from what s/he has read or heard and a bit of personal experience.

  118. i think i slept somewhere in between… but anyway, it doesn’t matter, in Kenya tis a very different story. Sponsors ata wenyewe wanajua, they target the laziest.
    Its like the sportpesa mania, sponsor mania. wealth haraka upesi, i think my
    next business idea will be based on kenyan greed. If it hits, kenyans are insatiable

  119. My advice to you & many young girls who try and make a case for “sponsors” is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics because one day there may well be proof Of multiple universes.It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside Of our own universe lies another different universe.And In that universe there are men your age (& not necessarily white) who are capable to love and be mature enough for your liking.
    PS.Rolled my eyes So hard they almost popped out

  120. Waaa the comments! People are catching unnecessarily. The ones condemning and judging, I hope y’all saints

  121. Dear ladies. That old man who understands you was once a young man. He was unsure, impatient, insecure and financially malnourished. It took a woman his age to believe in him and make him the sexy you admire so much. women of these days just want finished goods. Ripe fruits. I’ll judge you either way. whether for money or for comfort you’re a gold digger. my opinion.

  122. You cant waste this site’s story with such BS Biko. Dont we matter any more? This is a classic sponsee with bcthyi excuses

  123. Well…Biko said “don’t roll your eyes yet…” and I nearly moved to the next item. But I had some minutes in my hand doing nothing so I was like…what to lose!! Now after reading through am here asking myself; If it’s love, why don’t we hear of young ladies falling in love with poor (poverty is relative by the way) older men??? Miss…spare us your crap and accept that you jump old men’s bones for financial security. Nobody has the right to judge you, just don’t justify the unjustifiable

  124. I just had to comment.Its funny how people think they can decide for other some personal issues. I mean what business is it to people if she is older or has daddy issues. Am sure no one wakes up and says i wanna have daddy issues. Pointing fingers has become the order of the day.Unless you grew up with someone or had the same influences or walked in their shoes you got no right to judge. Old or young, experienced or not. People will date who they want for whatever reason. No matter how people fuss about it or point fingers thinking they are better its never gonna change anything. As a grown up, i do with my privates what pleases them. And choose to date who i want. And this born again story. Its funny how its the most used storyline to judge others. Just because you were born and taught how to be a Christian doesnt mean everyone has gone through the same. And neither does it mean the other person has a less quality of life because they dont know the life you know. So people should stop consoling themselves by pointing fingers at others and just live the lives they have choosen for themselves.

  125. It is very sad that in all this you do not realize you are the problem here. You are a christian who is aware of fornication and from the article i have lost count of the men you have ‘encountered’. Two you are a single mother, i bet you haven’t visited Kenya recently we have a million of them right now and they don’t make a fuss about it. The other pointer to your troubles is the way you want to be treated which comes out as selfish which a young man cannot handle. Dude already has heart problems and you are fine with him taking Viagra!!!! Does it not scare that he might drop dead anytime.. CONSCIENCE, apparently not everybody has it.
    The old man is MARRIED and a christian is there waiting for him to rid off his wife for you to marry him. The other old man is always sending you blah blah blah, he can because he has all the time, he is established and he has money working for him, which or what 30 year old man has amassed that wealth tho enjoy the luxury of walking and sending blah blah all the time. What comes out here is ATTENTION ATTENTION, without you offering anything in return and no SEX is not one of them, to a 30 year old it is not enough. the Old jamas have lived life, they are settled, have nothing else to do, so if you offer yourself they will really SAVOUR!!
    But you are still young, SO YOU CAN SEEK HELP IF YOU WANT TO, because one day you will look back and regret terribly. SEEK HELP DARLING. SEEK HELP!

    1. There is a trend where people are trying to normalize carnal sin and ignore Christianity and morals while still claiming to be born again.
      people are rewriting their own standards and commandments with their golden rule being “WHO REBTOUTO JUDGE?”
      Yes, its bad to had a sponsor.
      Its bad to be a mpango wa Kando.
      its bad to date for money.
      it’s bad to send nudes to someone’s husband, even anyone maybe.
      its bad, really bad to talk and write about sexual escapades and still masquerade as a Christian.
      #Ronald_Over_and_Out#!!!

  126. Hi gang,
    Thanks so much for your comments. I’m the anonymous writer who penned the post. I did it, not for acceptance..I’m not so needy as to seek acceptance from fellow Kenyans online, whom I don’t know, and haven’t met eyeball to eyeball.
    For the most part, your comments have been absolutely hilarious, I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. it’s sometimes not easy to laugh out here in the diaspora especially when the weather is bad, smiles from people are rare and it’s that time of the month when you have to sort out all manner of bills. So for that I am absolutely grateful..thanks for making my day.
    The post was just me giving my side of the story. I’ve been with older white guys, I can’t speak for every woman who has dated an elderly white man, I was just sharing my personal experience with as much details as possible, reason being; when we spot a younger black woman with an elderly white guy, we hurl insults at her, demean her and say she’s going out with a fossil, an ancestor, a sponsor etc.
    For all the judgement…I’d love to refer you to the account where guys brought a woman who was caught in adultery to Jesus Christ, and boldly told Him about what the mosaic laws stated to be done to the woman..(where was the man by the way? You don’t commit adultery alone..no? I digress) Jesus bent down, and penned the ten commandments on the ground, and before He was done, He asked those who had committed no sin to cast the first stone, of course they left, the bible says one by one..then He turned to the woman and said, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. ” (John 8:1-11 KJV).
    The sole reason I broke up with Mr P was for the sake of Christ. He was a wonderful caring person but I couldn’t see myself continuing to fornicate. I’ve made mistakes in the past..but I’m not one to go round with a weight of misery and sadness. I face up to my sin, I repent before God, I continue with God. I broke up with the guy for God. God knows how hard that was, the battle between flesh and spirit is most difficult, the Bible says often, “one has to kill the flesh” and that “the flesh and the spirit are at war, or conflict with each other” ..as long as we are on this earth, it is a daily battle, a daily struggle with the flesh..I chose God over this gentleman, God honors that I chose Him, and I am still choosing Him.
    About sending nude pics to my friend in OZ. I wasn’t nude, I was in a short lingerie dress. We’ve shared so many pictures, and inspirational quotes. I felt so free to send him the pictures. I don’t think it is wrong..If I was nude, that would be wrong.
    In conclusion; when it comes to love, all I can say is that love is beautiful, and sometimes we don’t nitpick whom we are falling in love with. I recall my very first guy was someone I used to help financially, and even bought groceries for him when he was jobless because of love..
    I am not ashamed for having fallen for people who are my dad’s agemates, I’m not a teenager. My personality is such that if you are a little bit crazy, witty and somewhat exciting, yes, I will be attracted to you as I get bored easily….and falling for these elderly guys, they’ve treated me like no man has, everytime I see or chat with them it’s like something new..the enthusiasm is fresh on a daily basis.. so….lets just say it is comparable to riding in Business class as opposed to economy. Once you have had a taste of business class, you will find economy extremely uncomfortable. Where I am at now, elderly white guys are my prefered choice. If I get married to one, the better. My life my choice.
    I rest my case.

      1. Being in lingerie is not being nude..I don’t know where you guys are coming from when you say, I sent my friend nudes…I didn’t.

        1. Did u send them Pics of you while prayin or in church or while reading the good book,No u didn’t u are immoral and just a hypocrite like most Christians.Did u ever ask yourself why M sent u pics of his walk

    1. You go girl. I loved your post. You don’t have to justify yourself to haters and don’t let anyone judge your Christianity. Let he who is without sin take the first stone. Your post is well-articulated and clear. You can’t please everyone. People see things through their foggy eyes. Many have missed the point of your article. We are not all the same. We cannot all fit in one-size-fits all box. Thank you for giving the other side of the story. I wish you all the best in your love life and keep seeking God’s will for your life.

  127. i will not claim to be an expert in the language of love nor will i say i have all the tricks to these life at my fingertips but i will say this…We need to give people a chance to live…we need to give people a chance to see life from a different facet from ours.Some if not all of us maybe hailing from families where your dad is much older than your mum…to top it up she maybe be not as well-educated as she is so she is or was a stay home mum…but did that make your dad a sponsor??Second…Some of you will be in church on sunday probably for the second service if not the first because you will be getting over a hangover and your boyfriend slept over so making breakfast,ironing your white long dress and taking a shower wouldnt have you ready for church by 8 but because you were brought up quite decent,regardless of whatever…CHURCH NI LAZIMA.So why are you judging her?Why do you feel like you are better than her?Just because she slept with an older man?But you fornicate with your boyfriend.We like to separate ourselves because we tend to think some sins maybe greater than others but hey…Potato Potato.If it was about being thrown into hell’s raging fire you would both be in it…you both fornicated.So lets develop a culture of being nice and realize we are all extremely imperfect.

  128. So if I happen to date a guy my age who is richer and gives me money he’s not a sponsor? He’s just a sponsor if he’s decades older? Girls look for security, that’s one thing I hear time and time again from girls, and a person who can take care of them is part of that security. I thought it was girls who grew up without dads who thought that way but I’ve found out even girls whose dads were there for them say they look for financial security in a man. So the reality is most girls will determine a man’s financial status before dating him. Does that make girls leeches for doing so? It’s just the way some men say they want a lady who can keep house, because most men in general don’t like housekeeping and I’m not stereotyping, I’m just stating what I’ve seen so far.

  129. Every lady needs to watch and listen to this. We all are a confused bunch!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFYrrLCyjP0

    1. I listened alot to the no more sheets sermon, and I must confess, it helped me go through my break up with Mr P. So thank you for posting this here..I’m sure it will help other women as it did me.

  130. When she mentioned her born again status just a few lines after confirming that the guy was married and she was knowingly doing him,I slipped into coma.You cannot package prostitution as anything else and sell it to me using my bundles.Not economical

  131. I don’t mind if your sponsor is 64 or getting 70 next week, don’t try to make it look like being in 30’s is a crime. Last time I checked, screwing my grandpa and sending his cousin your nudes wasn’t as you refer to yourself Christian. Am not as holy but I can’t take it to justify what I honestly know is in my closet to be the best I can be. Over n out.

  132. The only message that came out of this is her naivety, pretence and outright hypocrisy. I don’t mean to be rude but i’l judge her for her randiness. Behave like a mother!

  133. I find it alittle pretentious for you to say you broke it off coz you are a christian girl and everytime you met you went too gar (rolls eyes).The moral highground isnt yours for the taking after your little expose

  134. The comments here are seriously funny..if only there was a like button.
    Though the word judging has been over-used..being a christian does take your right of having an opinion away.

  135. I think Biko should invite one of the sponsors to tell their side of the story.So far we’ve been hearing from the ladies only.
    Calling a 50 year old young is just hillarious though.My dad is 45 and I still view him as Methuselah

  136. Just googled it… Its actually true. She’s saving a life here. *tries to find eyes at the back of head*

    And guys saying we shouldn’t judge; this is a courtroom and we’re the jury. Judging is what we do.

  137. Huge body count, hypocrisy, confusion. That’s all am getting from her story. And why sleeping around with a married man. The fact that “married” is in quotes does not mean its ok.”

  138. The anonymous writer caught some serious feelings coz of all the criticism.She should grow a pair or whatever women grow coz this is highschool,and we have no chills here.If you cant take our comments and opinion dont waste our time writing.Leave it to the master…the chocolate man

  139. We do wrong things repeatedly that we convince ourselves its now ok.
    Started with gay, now its legal/normal. Bring on this adultery, prostituting
    sugar-coat it to sponsor-ship et al. Verdict: dont judge. yet. Blink and soon
    its norm. Dont roll your eyes just yet‥ the implore. Wait until we convince
    ourselves its ok. Roger messrs!

  140. The lady is upset that people automatically think sponsor when they see young ladies with old men, yet she goes ahead to generalize stuff about young men. Its counterintuitive and I didn’t bother anymore. For your information there are young men out there who try or are what you described about the old men. Thank you.

  141. Gosh! When did we lose all our morals as born again Christians. We are focused on the whole financial aid that tops up the old man syndrome affecting out young ladies and forgetting it is a sin committed in the eyes of God. Why do ladies forget the institution of marriage is a blessed one? Why will these same ladies after hitting 30 go tearing at the alter praying for a good man with a faithful soul while all they did is tear another woman’s family apart. I refuse to be deluded by that whole love-bullshit that you just served us Biko.

  142. Most of these ladies dating old men suck at r/ships and use love to justify their stupid of goin back to stone age. How can the same tactics used on ur mom, used on and still u commend that? These guys are using chemicals to get their tools working and u think its cool only bcoz they cum after a decade? If they cant get get their tools workin without viagra, how can u expect them to cum fast? I gues their cum is frozen too in their balls until they use hot water.

  143. Vanity all over the woman…he uses viagara and he has heart problem. She actually wanted us to clap to that.

  144. Haha. You guys are just sick. Apana. But anyway we should call a spade a spade. Young at 50 iyo nayo ni propaganda.

  145. I have laughed all throughout this article.Depends on your sense of humour.I lost it at Mr P having heart surgeries…am guessing due to old age.Maybe it’s a fetish she has

  146. Iam nineteen, my levels of seeing perspective aren’t that defined. But as I read that piece, I imagined that lady, so honest. No other lady has had the balls to write such and when one decides… it becomes an attack of opinion. Civilization? let them stones be thrown. Thank heavens Mary Magdalene was in Jesus’ era.

  147. I judge. How do you call sleeping with a married man ‘genuine love’?
    This post is full of contradictions.

  148. All i hear is bs. Excuses and shit. You go out with them for money or sex (hahaha) .
    We know it and somehow we can’t do shit about it so we accept it and are moving the hell on
    So instead of making excuses be ready for our time. We are taking notes. You probably should learn how to emasculate younger guys. You will need the lessons soon when yours is the bed we only come to fart and burp
    Future beckons

  149. Ive never felt the need to be negative in this blog till today. What a horde of BS. Just do you, and keep the justifications to yourself, I couldn’t even finish that story. 5 minutes of my life I will never get back, you lost me at “I’m a born again Christian” .You just spoilt the sanctity of this blog

  150. Anonymous Writer. I General Zod, being over 100 years old myself, hereby approve of your dating these older men. Leave these young 50 year olds to lasses in their 20s.

  151. atheist, over ⅔ century old men, born again Christian, financial support, I think I can smell a sponsor In Netherlands.

  152. The musings of a promiscous spinster,who nobody wants to love but to just shag n abandon but they pay for it so nobody loses

  153. If you genuinely like older men, enjoy, to each his own.
    What I’m wondering is born again people don’t send men who aren’t their husbands pics of them in their lingerie….that isn’t Godly.

  154. all in all…. Biko you lost us with this lady’s story. THE LADY IS IN SPONSOR MODE….offense intended.

  155. 1. With a title like ‘Case for Sponsors’ the tone was kinda already set.No?
    2. Anonymous writer was honest about her lifestyle and choices and I respect her for that. Its refreshing. Not many people have the ball to be that way. In fact they are the loudest Judges!
    3. BIKO please put up like button and unlike buttons some of this comments are epic for words!
    4. Next should be a similar article from a younger man who dates older women or older guy who dates younger women. Flip the script
    5.Sex, Religion, Tribe are just some of the subjects that are so touchy/taboo in Kenya and yet so diverse/different.

  156. While I can’t picture what its like being with a 70 year old man who takes Viagra(i mean seriously, what if he collapses and dies on you??…and all that saggy skin eish!)and I certainly do not condone being with a married man, she makes a valid point. Young men here in Kenya and everywhere are only interested in sex and bragging to their boys how many girls they’ve had(with the naked selfies to prove it) and they can seriously waste your time and hurt you in the worst way while they move on without looking back. When you reach the age when you want to settle down its just so annoying and a real drag. Maybe instead of judging her young men need to take a few pointers on what being romantic is(don’t break the bank buying caviar and oysters just be attentive and affectionate….and the foreplay thing…please take note…ha ha) seriously…i need a younger version of these men

  157. I thought this was to be different; but it seems love is a mystery, one that never grows between young ladies and poor, old chaps.
    Poor chaps only become an afterthought … a comment.

  158. Okay..am born and bred in Diani. i have seen it all. bottom line is that all that no love is involved..its all about the money..deep down we know it.

  159. She wants made men, while there are women behind those men, who were good stewards and cheerleaders when the guy had nothing. Get your own man, and fashion him to a CEO, then enjoy that status! This case is cheap.

  160. So this woman wants to tell us that it is ik to sleep with a mzee who has no intention to marry her but not an african who is not willing to marry her ,i can only say she is a racist denying married african men pussy but willingly giving it to a senile old mzee.

  161. God-fearing, check. Healthy-eating, check. Eat booty like Groceries, check. Now all that’s left is to turn 70.

  162. i like what i like. period. which i think is everyone’s sentiments.
    To judge Miss.Netherlands for liking what she likes is a gross mistake. she simply enjoys older men, let a girl have it.
    Society really has guys wrapped around its finger, we become confined to what it dictates as right. And if you’re so up in it’s a** then it strips you the power of expanding your perception. Tragic. i believe there can be love between old guys and young ladies and the reverse too. it reaches a certain age, and one is financially stable, does it mean everyone you meet at that point likes you only fr your money? NO. but i guess that’s price to pay. sponsor labels and unending judgment.

  163. Hahaa still waiting for that story where the old guy was also broke. Otherwise huyu wako ni blesser tu like the others.

  164. Hmmm…
    only ladies get to understand her point of view of this sponsor issue.
    Guys here will talk on her being helped during her financial fix, what now, you forget in your own way you provide financial help to your gf’s in your age bracket. So she should not be helped or what are saying, i don’t get.
    Okay, in kenya theres no widespread online dating so you not conversant with online dating then call her a cyberwhore! Why do that? We don’t judge especially when a person volunteers their story and what do people do?
    #SMH

  165. This feels like a Nairobi Diaries episode.
    Viagra with a weak heart and fancy surguries?
    Born again christian partaking in extra marital sex with athiest and sending nudes to other christians?
    50?young? (at 20,if not a toddler or a sperm,what am I??)

    You say your agemates are the ‘fake-it-till-you-make-it’ pragmatic types? no wonder you are repulsed by them, nobody likes everything they see in the mirror.
    Overall you are what we here in Africa (go on, play the stereotypical card,africa is a single country,or like lupita- driving around in her compound and finding elephants, or was it mohawk?- i forget) a CHIPS FUNGA albeit with a most disgusting dish,caviar.

    ps. a woman,please explain , is like and love interchangeable?! my head’s spinning.

  166. This lady should in fact be deported back to Kenya, she claims that she is spiritual, has a kid out of wedlock, sleep around with married ancestors and still proclaims spiritual.
    She has no moral obligation to criticize African young men for not being serious when she is defining herself with people older than her father then proclaims that the sex was good after the fossil used viagra, poor African lady, no one will marry you in as much as you profess Christianity while inside you are a whole. The records are clear you are a whore

  167. Cunnilingus!!!Who else ‘Googled’ that???Well I didn’t know a name existed for that-I normally just exchange the favour

  168. First, I haven’t read so much rubbish in one text in very many months. I dragged mySelf to the end.I literally felt my stomach hurt. This kind of thinking to me is not even close to a class pupil.

  169. enyewe Biko you have a crazy gang here. Reading the comments section is like being on another totally different page lol. People are so different!

  170. I have never read all comments like I just did!
    My God, you people are funny, hilarious,rude, judgemental,holier than thou……..
    but also understanding and insightful.
    Miss anonymous writer, do you and make God proud.
    Cheers

  171. The pretense and hypocrisy here is mind-numbing. The writer is very honest, she does not wish to attract your judgement or understanding, but your respect. Some of us struggle with envy, others cannot stop gossiping, well, her struggle was keeping chaste with the man she was in love with…she knows what she looks for in a man, and she knows where to get it. Most of us have no clue, how i that??

  172. This was a good read.
    The comments though.. I’ve read all and it has taken me two days and my conclusion is that people are so fast to throw stones, playing God’s role of being a judge. Let the lady be. One man’s meat is another man’s poison

  173. just fancy way of stating the obvious you say you aren’t with them for money yet both are “comfortable” as you put it, I was expecting at some point to hear a legit reason of your opinion of this whole sponsor thing is but what I got from the article it’s as if you are trying to convince yourself more than us that gold digging isn’t a factor. It’s a difference with no distinction you know?

    but hey do you boo