Happy Holiday

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Hey Gang,

I know, I know. You did not wake up thinking you’d be reading from Biko’s protégé but in life you don’t always get what you want. Just ask Arsenal fans.

Now now, it is Madaraka Day (Happy Madaraka Day!) and Don Biko is so happy, he texted me (text, text!) in the morning, beaming like a giddy teenager, saying it is a holiday and so he is taking a kasmall break. I was like, “Biko is it the Instagram? You can tell me pops, I won’t tell anyone.” He then sent a poorly spelt ‘Hhaha’, which according to my therapist—that’s a classic defense mechanism.

Enjoy your Madaraka Day gang! And how mean would we be if we denied our old geezer here a break? Isn’t that what freedom is all about? Besides, it’s about time we changed the vitambaa on these seats. Anyone with an idea? Peter Wesh? Tushy? Even you John Mkosa Adabu?

Bazu has promised to be back next week so we have *checks notes* only five days. Sawa, Caroline Achieng? Last one out please remember to switch off (switch out?) the lights.

Oh, and by the way, I really think it’s the Instagram, but sssshhh.

Eddie Ashioya.

***

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55 Comments
  1. Not fair. I was ready to read something when I saw the notification. And by the way, forty three is not old. Ok it looks old when written down. Sawa, I shall wait to read next week. Happy Madaraka Day you all.

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    1. Hahaha if there’s one thing I’ve learnt on this blog for the last 10yrs, if new post day falls on a holiday, Biko holidays.

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      1. Unless some company throws him a deal to “keep the lights on.”
        Where’s the loyalty to le gang Biko?

      2. hi munyambu by any chance are we related. The name is unique and not many have it apart from my family

  2. I brushed my teeth, prepared a cup of coffee only for two paragraphs……….if only I could roll my eyes and say mscheeeeeeew to you

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  3. Happy holidays indeed!

    So today i decided not to go to work. Not that I a holiday where I am but because I expected a mail notifying me of a bikozulu post…..so I have been in the internet cafe for a while waiting amd at last it came. Why internet cafe?….. If you are in Kenya or anywhere in the world where mobile data is available, then be very grateful. This part of the world where I exist we still go to the cyber cafe, buy a token and browse for a while…

    I always recieve my Tuesday posts somewhere between Thursday and Sunday…if you know, you know. If you don’t know, you will never know.

    Thank God for motherland Kenya,

    Happy madaraka gang!

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  4. “Hhaha”, Mluhya (in Biko’s voice, I imagine).

    Inasmuch I am opinionated about almost everything, I am clueless about vitambaa kwa nyumba ama ofisini. The last time I tried giving an opinion about the colour of the seats and if we could keep our help even after her ceaseless shenanigans, my opinion led to me sending an M-PESA to placate the madam. So I choose to err on the side of caution.

    It is a pass for me. See you next week or the next time you post something.

    PS. Did you know that today is World Milk Day? Have a very Milky Day.

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  5. Happy Birthday Kenya! Endeleeni kubadilisha vitambaa in the house, hope missus won’t be pissed off…

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  6. m sitted at the office(yea some of us work on holidays) n m thinking, does Biko really have sth for us, le gang leo, acha nicheck.. disappointment galore.. but yea yea he deserves a break. Happy Madaraka day y’all!

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  7. Hey Eddy!
    We like it when you talk to us.
    We are not even surprised that Biko has abandoned us, his children, just because it’s a holiday. Sindio gang? Tulizoea kuabandoniwa hivyo. But we have you, Eddy, so we are grateful.

    Aki, about the vitambaas, I think they should just stay like that. I struggle with coming up with ideas when I feel even the tiniest(is that a word?) bit of pressure. You mentioning my name up there has my mind so blank. But I know an idea will come to me when the pressure subsides. Maybe at 2 in the am, two months from now.

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  8. I wish I knew how to say Mscheeew and show here, I opened this in the middle of a meeting (not all of us are on Holiday sore) But so is life
    Happy Madaraka Day

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  9. Wah!
    Eddy couldn’t even jot down a ka-small something.
    Anyway, Happy Madaraka day!
    I guess the older Bazu gets, the happier he is just to chill, and probably go to Kendu Bay, hop on a boat, throw out a net to catch fish and hang out with hippos.
    Understandable. But remember hippos are not so friendly, I just saw a clip of one totally pissed by a speedboat on ‘it’s territory’ and it gives chase. It actually looks like a broad-shouldered swimmer doing the butterfly stroke. It comes up for air, and you hold your breath when it goes underwater. Happily, it didn’t catch up. Someone on tiktok said hippos don’t play.

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  10. An anti climax yea simply coz my mind was ready to go on a trip in no hurry ,holiday mode activated.Happy Holiday folks.

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  11. The thing that came to mind when I read Tushy…Forgive me father and get my brain from the gutter

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    1. Hahaha! Thoughts in the gutter there. Can’t say am suprised, you must be from Kanairo. Luckily, maybe only us two might have understood this, we could form a sub-gang btw…

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  12. Hahaha Eddy!! Glad to have you back, Biko trusts you as his protegè and we trust you to bring the goods! Happy Madaraka day!

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  13. Hope you enjoyed your ka small break, Biko, this Ugandan just Googled that “ka” word Madaraka. Hope all the Kenyan Gangos enjoyed the ka break.
    It was a ka forced break for UG Gangos.
    Eddie Ashioya, was that a ka appetizer for a blockbuster coming our way or? We were looking forward to a great date only to read a ka no-date-tonight note
    Hope you had a happy holiday.
    Martyrs Day is around the corner, Ugandan Gangos are warming up for a ka mid week break…
    Cheers

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  14. Now this is the real version of being left “high n dry” haki
    Happy madaraka day peeps ‍♀️

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  15. Madaraka Day midday found me sitting in the parking lot of a deserted publishing house, handing someone a BIG brown envelope ( with a manuscript, not mandrax, inside). Coz this was supposed to happen on Monday morning (to meet a May 31st deadline, coz kuna bulk project presentations this mornin at said PH, n Ed needed to look at MS priori)
    But didn’t make it to Monday morn meet, coz CHELSEA won the CL on Sato, and we were in TZ for the midnight match – hawana Jayden na curfew zake huko – and rudid on Sunday in a state that requires a Monday, and marmalade to reboot.
    Anyway, that parking lot meet with that Ed gave me a literary deja vu of Biko meeting up with that guy who was getting plaaayed by his recently divorced wifey – remember that story – the one that had a pissed off watchie from Butere, heh.
    After that long Madaraka weekend, let’s agree this Wednesday is the new first Monday of June 🙂

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  16. I think being mentioned on this blod only rivals the thrill of being mentioned on “salamu za vijana/adhuhuri” on KBC Radio Idhaa ya Kiswahili back in the old days.
    Not that I know what such thrill feels like, but I do imagine. I would listen to those (and all) programs on that radio as a child (not kid, because kids are goats) but not once did a familiar name fly on air. My village mates would just prefer to greet those they would meet while chewing miraa. What’s the use of greeting someone seated next to you on air? Unless you’re a westerner, it makes no sense.

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  17. Tell Chocolate Man we will love him old, grey and wrinkled. He already left footprints in our hearts long time ago.

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  18. And you commenced so well only to jot down two paragraphs?.It’s ok Biko. See you next week. It’s almost here even

  19. Since there’s only one paragraph to read, I for once read all the comments haha!

    Logically, since posting is done Tuesday morning, the writing is done way before that. Unless Biko and Co. Ltd want to fix us in a box and assure us the authoring is done from Tuesday 00:00 hrs.

    The holidaying business would make sense if it was on a Monday, hence affecting delivery on Tuesday. Sindio..

    Logic aside, I have the luxury of self-given holidays, thanks to Covid-19.

    After the Martyrs Holiday on Thursday, we are looking forward to Heroes Day this Wednesday here in UG.

    Happy Madaraka Day 2022.

  20. Man I love this space. I’m prolly the youngest here but oh well, screw you Eddy. You had my mind warming up for a read and then..anyways two weeks later and I’m trying to leave a comment, I’m so fake.