1. mentally or physically inactive; lethargic.

         “we sat around in a torpid state”

I just came back from Doha. They say travel opens your eyes and mind, but it also makes you so tired; living off a suitcase,different weather, eating different food, hearing the sound of the lift opening and closing.  

I’m languid.

I want to lie in a cool, darkened mud hut with small windows. I want to lie facing up on a mat with a hard pillow. I want silence. Doors closed. The only time the door of this hut opens is when a small barefooted, geisha-like lady tiptoes in and places a small porcelain cup of iced lemon tea by the mat and whispers, “ Chocolate Man, your tea.”

With my eyes closed I will reach for her wrist, brittle like a twig, and mumble, “Don’t let anyone in here.”

“But there is someone waiting outside.”


“Someone from your blog.” She will whisper, kneeling next to me, her voice pleading. “What do I tell him?”

“Tell him I’m torpid.”


“No, tor-pid.”

“As you wish, Chocolate Man.”

I want to lie in this hut this week, Gang. Allow me to lie in this hut just for this week.

Let me be.

And no snarky comments, please.


(Uhm, to the ladies not the gentlemen)

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    1. Really? Biko you have time for instagram but not for me here? Is that what it has come down to? When you’re on instagram you’re not torpid but when you come here you are torpid all of a sudden?
      Are you cheating on us with instagram? Is this goodbye

      1. I feel you bumble bee. He’s not just on us with IG but Facebook too. He’s been very busy there posting almost on a daily basis!

      2. HAHAHAHA I love the sound of this. I had to read it out loud with attitude. Especially, “Are you cheating on us with instagram?”

    2. Lol wee kisses are only for the ladies, choke! Just one question Biko, you never said if in your languid state, that lady with the tea ever leaves the hut.

  1. hahahaaha, we want a was Doha?etc etc..don’t make us demonstrate here with placards:-)hehe we shall be here when you finish resting:-)

  2. Pole chocolate man.For now we allow you to lie in that hut…Not sure whether we can hook you with the geisha…Hoping next week you shall be energetic

  3. kisses right back :-)……but i wont mind being languid from all the travelling….Sounds like a breath of fresh air as much as it comes at a ‘cost’

  4. It’s become that scenario where you get home and send a quick text to the boys, “Home.” Nancy response is. “KISSES.” Enjoy your downtime bro. We’ll wait. Cheers.

  5. Hahaha. Really Dude? I have been refreshing my browser since 10: 00 am in order to get my daily Tuesday dose only to get this? why are you so insensitive with our ‘Huts’ Biko? am seriously ‘hutting ‘ boss.

  6. Jeez..What a cop out.
    Sema kucheswo..
    Isn’t this the point you have someone on standby…one of the Master class graduates to guest post?
    What will happen when you have a 17hour flight to Japan, and you have to be in economy a la cattle class?

    1. He will sink into oblivion. This time round, he won’t order Iced Lemon Tea, He will order a gazebo built next to his hut just so he can busk his Brobdingnagian forehead like a tropical lizard. Then he will blame poor torpid for it, Again!

  7. tep·id
    showing little enthusiasm.
    “the applause was tepid”
    synonyms: unenthusiastic, apathetic, muted, halfhearted, so-so, ‘comme ci, comme ça’, indifferent, subdued, cool, lukewarm, uninterested, unenthused
    “The gang was tepid in allowing chocolate man sleep in the goddamn hut denying them the much awaited weekly read”

  8. Well,chocolate man seems to have won all the girls over especially now when Valentines day is here and unga is up at 150. You girls can have Biko and his ‘chocolateness’ as we fix this unga story.
    Kisses to you Biko,from bae.

  9. Rather than serve half cooked food you have decided to cook it fully regardless of the how hungry the gang is! I can’t wait for the dish next week. Kisses.

  10. I was taking a nap, then I hear my email notification, the joy on seeing the new post email, then this!! Biko why?? Oh well, better make it up next week..

  11. Was looking forward to this week’s post. Actually, sneaked out of office for maximum concentration only to find a paragraph. Damn! It’s like raiding a bank to steal biro pens!

  12. …Biko, I’ve been waiting for you all morning for you to tell me this?!
    If this is your idea of goodbye… Actually, you know what, just go it’s fine!

  13. so cause i decided it is that time i start commenting you tor-pid..isorait. and kisses for ladies…then whisky toast for us men itakuwa vipi?

  14. I go to my email. Refresh the emails.. I see bikozulu….i excuse myself from my noisy friends to read this….
    Biko noo
    Anyway you played it well with the kisses. Enjoy the rest.and wait did that geisha-like lady leave the hut?

  15. The kisses have saved you… hahaha! Mwaaaah! right back at you.
    Looking forward to next week. Enjoy untorpidizing or detorpidizing… hehe

  16. I am also torpid. I have not written anything on my ka-blog since December and I think I will continue being torpid. Torpid is good for the body. Like since I started being torpid I feel more relaxed and alive. I breathe deeper and see clearer. I love torpid. To torpid.

  17. So we waited all week for this?!?! This is unacceptable!
    And the worst part is that you started it off so well like you usually do with your captivating stories.. And then a paragraph later… I can’t..

  18. I’ll understand your being torpid this week but come next Tuesday if you try describing another fancy word I’ll leave with that geisha girl and leave you alone in your torpidation (if there is even such a word) hehehe

  19. I waited 7 days. Refreshed my browser all Tuesday. And all I get is kisses? No, those were for the ladies. So I waited 7 days and refreshed my browser all Tuesday for nothing. I don’t know if am disappointed or just pissed. Mr. Chocolate man this relationship is getting abusive. If you can’t handle this then you better let me go to Ghafla! or Mpasho or somebody who will not make me wait 7 days then keep me waiting out the hut.

  20. Biko, looks like we have some Bikoholics!
    Some serious withdrawal symptoms being exhibited by this gang.
    Can we form a Bikoholics anonymous? ….just incase you have more of this torpid moments.

  21. If i had an eidetic memory like that of Sheldon Cooper, i would have been be able to recite Biko’s words by-heart. I have read this particular blog post over a 100 times. And i am sure i will keep coming back here just to read it again and again.

  22. Yani hii space mzima ungepea guest post instead unaamua kuingia kwa hut na ku doze? smh.
    Yani hata zile copout articles zi huwa zime lay about huwezi post?
    The ones recommending to us African authors you’ve been reading or zile jungu blogs you enjoy?
    Also, no one uses torpid irl.

  23. Biko,I am rather disappointed that I will not be getting my full Tuesday dose here.We all have those days when we just want to lie in a Hut in peace. Now, get some rest and be better

  24. Ok Biko we understand that moment spent in that hut in that torpid state is necessary. I mean you are not a robot. Just dont let it develope into that sickness, you know that sickness. No procastination, Biko. We are waiting next week. Kisses