Is This About The Lamp?

514

Perhaps – if you are anything like her – you are one of those people who say that they could never shag or date a guy they work with. Who does that? Why would anyone do that when the internet and the streets are full of men? Not all are dateable material, granted, but pickings from the office? A tad too low. Plus, office guys are lame. Low-hanging fruit. Take that lovely guy from accounts for instance; problem is he speaks with food in his mouth. You wouldn’t date a man with such bad table manners. Plus, everything he says has to have the phrase “fiscal year” in it. Now look over at the chaps in the marketing department, with their stiff shirts, carrying two phones and a power bank because they get so many calls! Then there are client service guys – okay it’s only three guys but all of them are married. So that’s a no. 

Then there was the guy in procurement, the most annoying of them all; a lad. A big boy. Frat boy. If you ever got stuck on a desert island with him, you would think to yourself you’d rather die from gangrene than copulate with him. He was too in your face with his phony bravado. A serial flirt -he’d flirt with every girl on the floor, making them giggle. He’s the kind of guy you’d meet in the lift and ask, “Is it going up?” and he’d tell you with a sinister smile, “That’s what she said.” Disgusting. Just disgusting. Not your bag, for sure.

Plus, all he would constantly talk about was alcohol and his escapades over the weekend: where they were drinking, who got drunk and did what, how much what they drank cost. He imagined the war stories from the night on the tiles made him debonair, bonhomie even. Acting badass all the time. Talking about the girls in the bar. You liked little about this kind of a guy, and you thought even less of his dressing, which you found unimaginative at the very least and uninspiring on a good day. He – an adult – walked around in shoes that looked like Toughees, as if he was a high school dining hall captain. You tolerated him and his urban folklore. You never looked at him beyond a colleague, someone you ask to help you with a jammed printer. Soon, because you always listened to his stories from the bar, and perhaps even chuckled at some against your better judgment, you found yourself as his wingman, telling him what would work and not work with broads. 

But over time, you learnt that this badass attitude was not because he attended the National Youth Service in the 80s, but because he was engaged once and his fiancée pulled the plug a month before the wedding. On top of this, he found out that she was ringing someone’s bell the whole time they were engaged. And that crushed him, cut him wide open like a linefish. One night when he was out running the streets with his gang of drinkers, in a moment of odd revelation or liquid courage, he texted you and confessed that he was just “an old damaged dog.”(He was 35). The veneer started to slip off. Slowly you began to realise that this gung-ho, macho, drinking-all-weekend-and-chasing-tail, Toughee-wearing and chest thumping persona was all to hide the hurt and pain and the ghosts of his wrecked romantic past. Inside he was just a procurement guy who could fix a jammed printer. 

Anyway, she still wasn’t keen to date anyway, and not a damaged dog for sure. Not that he asked her to. But they spoke a lot. Mostly on text. Often late into the night, while the world slept. And because now he had nothing to hide from her, because he needn’t posture or thump his chest anymore, he allowed himself to be vulnerable with her. His true self slowly unfurled. He was actually sort of nice, when you looked beyond his drinking tales and his Toughees. Even when he strutted around the office like a plantation owner, she could now see through this charade for what it was. She was now privy to his high-act shtick. She knew his heart now and his heart was not the robust one he was selling on the floor of the office, his heart was thin and fragile, covered with a small layer of hurt. He was like a beautiful, wounded animal that refused to be nursed. 

One day he learnt that she was leaving for Nanyuki on an Overland truck with some sandal-wearing hippie tourists and locals. He said, “Oh, that sounds like fun, can I come?” And she shrugged, “Sure, if you will pay the 6K, why not?” So they went. And the organisers assumed they were dating and booked them in the same room. She protested, “Oh, no! Gosh, no, I’m not dating him. We are not dating. I’m single.” The guys said they had no more rooms left, would it be so bad if they shared? 

Would it? she wondered. 

So they shared a room. 

Now they are married. 

What happened between the sharing the room and getting married isn’t so important. Trust me. I don’t want to belabour it. What is important is her giving birth – not so long ago – and then a doctor diagnosing her with appendicitis after she fell ill with serious abdominal pains and nausea. She got admitted and then went under the knife. But then she got worse. Then doctors found that her colon was infected. “I thought I was going to die.” 

But she didn’t die, she just got worse. She felt like she was at death’s door.  She thought of her infant and of her new husband. She thought about what would happen to her baby if she died. Would she be raised by her parents or would he remarry before the grass grows on her grave? What if the woman was a dreadful stepmom to her daughter, denying her food, whipping her with a belt, making her do all house chores? The more she thought about that the sicker she got. He would come visit her in the months she was in hospital and he was always very casual about her sickness. She thought, “Why is he so relaxed while I’m here on death’s bed?” But that’s who he was, a chilled guy.  

Funny thing, her father had not foreseen her marrying a man like him. He invested so much in her and he thought she’d marry someone who was successful and with great wealth. Instead she married a man who wears Toughees. Even I would be secretly disappointed even though you can’t judge a man by his shoes, otherwise we would not respect Jesus and those things He would wear. But he was a good man. Generally. During the time she was sick, he would run between the hospital and her parents’ house to deliver baby things then run to his job. His father-in-law saw beyond his Toughees. He saw a decent enough chap for his daughter. 

She got better, enough to be discharged, but they sent her home with a colostomy bag. Do you know what that is? It’s a small waterproof pouch used to collect waste from the body. It’s the kind of thing when your boss screams at you – TAKE CARE OF YOUR SHIT!- you’d show him and say, “I am.” It’s strapped against you. You walk around with it because your colon is healing. “Imagine how sexy it was for someone like me, a newly-wed to have a bag with my shit in it.” Thankfully, she opted to stay with her parents upon discharge, because you know how parents are- they will take you with your shit. Literally, in this case. 

Two months later her colon was fine and she moved back to her matrimonial home. “I used to be 60kgs, curvy and gorgeous. Now I was 40kgs, skinny and gaunt. I looked like a boy.” None of her clothes fit. When she wore them she looked deflated and defeated. He never touched her. They slept like people sharing a bed at a funeral in my shags. “He would find a way to be away from the house. To drink with his friends while I stayed with the baby. He started coming home as late as 5am, just before the sun slit through the curtains. It was like he was deliberately avoiding being around me.”

The biggest challenge then was the lack of sex. And this went on for a whole year, which is a lifetime for newly-weds, who are supposed to be kicking the cat out of the room constantly. He wasn’t interested. He didn’t look at her like you would look at someone you want to unclothe. He looked at her like you would look at washing a cup. Or planting a tree. With dull disinterest. “It didn’t help that he wasn’t touching me. I felt unwanted, damaged, unattractive.” 

She had scars on her body, from the surgeries. They cut across her like a network of dry riverbeds. Some ran against her ribs. Her ribs showed when she stretched. “My body made me so insecure. I was skinny and I knew he didn’t like skinny girls. I also had these unsightly scars,” she says. “We started a routine which made sure that at any given time none of us was naked in the bedroom at the same time; while one showered, the other dressed, and while the other dressed the one who had showered would be gone from the bedroom.” They were like ships in the dark. He delayed coming to bed, preferring instead to watch movies until late, or sometimes even blacking out on the couch. Conversations trickled to domestic conversations; about the baby, what to buy, what is due, there is a problem with the socket, where is my blue shirt, going to see Mom this weekend. 

“I started nagging him about him being an absentee husband, always prioritising his friends over his family.” Because she felt unwanted and unsexy, they started having constant fights over mundane things when really it was about the lack of intimacy. 

You know those fights, gentlemen. You think you are fighting about one thing kumbe she is fighting you about something totally different! For example; you come home at midnight and switch on the small lamp on the dresser. The one with the dull orange glow. She wakes up – okay, technically you can’t wake up when you have been awake all along waiting to cause mayhem –  and says, “You are so insensitive!” You look at her and say, “Hey, I didn’t know you were awake!”

She says, “I was asleep! You woke me up with this light!” 

You look at the light and look at her. You have switched on this light for five years when you get back home late in the night while she is asleep but it has never bothered her once. “Did I switch it on too loudly?” you ask sarcastically because you have had a few and you are feeling invincible. And just like that a fight ensues. And she’s coming at you like a hurricane, saying you just think of yourself, putting on lights (with an ‘s’) in the house when you get home. (“It’s one light, one weak light!”) 

She sits up. (Oh, oh). Her old lace nightie, now stretched at the neck area, shows her bare breasts. Her breasts look fantastic in that orange light y’all are fighting about – or you think you are fighting about. Her skin looks like a beach in that orange dawn sunrise, smooth and consistent. But she won’t shut it. She’s just saying, “This kind of selfish behaviour is what I can’t stand, to be honest, just you thinking about what you want and what you need, putting on these lights because you don’t care what everybody else feels, you don’t care the kind of week I have had, because you are in this perfect world of yours where you put on lights whenever you fuckin’ feel like -” 

You walk over and switch off the lamp. Now you are undressing in darkness and she’s still talking. Ha-ha. You’d think darkness would stop a woman. Nyet. Words of a woman cut through the blackest of spaces, and the hardest of surfaces. “….you just don’t care about this anymore. In fact my sister said I should not bring it up but I told her I will. Because I mean if it was your own sibling you would have done more -” You stop undressing. You are standing there, one leg of your trousers off, the other still on the other leg. You are shirtless.  You are thinking, what? What is she talking about? Then she stops talking and the duvet rustles and there are small sobs. The hell? So you put on the lights and stupidly with one leg out of your trousers, hop like a kangaroo, to her side and sit on the bed and say, “Maureen. What the hell is going on? Is this about the light?” She is sobbing under the duvet. Nobody at pre-marital counselling told you something like this would happen. You touch her shoulder. “You know what, I’m sorry, I will never touch that lamp again. Okay?” Then she tosses off the duvet and says, “This is not about the stupid light, you didn’t go to see my sister in hospital when she was sick!” 

You are tongue-tied. Her sister was in the hospital for 8 eight hours, for a day surgery. That was three months ago! You remember that day, it was a hellish day at work and when you were ready to visit she was already discharged. You sit there with your silly leg in one trouser leg and get an earful. Sometimes you just take it, it won’t break your bones. 

So, yeah. It’s never about the damn lamp sometimes. It’s layered. 

Anyway, they start having these fights that are really about the lack of intimacy, his activities that take him away from her and their baby and her feeling of being unwanted. 

One day she bought black lingerie. “Black against my skin is sexy.” [She’s a light skin). She wore it on a day that the baby was away and he wasn’t planning to leave the house. He was lying on the bed reading an old book when she sashayed out of the bathroom in this grand, black lingerie. He put down the book he was reading and stared at her. But it wasn’t the look of goddamn! It was a different look. The look of, “Oh, no, do I have to?” She got on top of him, straddling him. They kissed for a bit, but she could feel the reluctance in his kiss. He was behaving like he was kissing a pawpaw. He eventually pushed her off. She was hurt. She asked, “What’s wrong?” “Nothing. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“He kept saying that he didn’t want to hurt me. That he felt like my body had not healed after the surgery and I kept telling him that I had healed. That it’s my body, I know it has healed. But everytime sex came up that’s what he would say, that he doesn’t want to hurt me. I felt like it was an excuse, like he didn’t find me desirable anymore. And that hurt me!”

The next day they called her surgeon, a Dr Odede. She asked the doctor if she was fine enough to have sex and the doctor said, “Of course. Go gaga.” (Okay, he didn’t use the word gaga, but that sounds like a word an Odede would use.) She told Dr Odede, “Do you mind telling my husband that it’s fine for us to have sex? He’s right here eating an apple. Hang on.” She hands him the phone and he says, “Hello?” and walks away. 

In my head, the conversation must have gone something like.

Doc: Why are you not having sex with your wife? 

Him: I’m afraid. 

Doc: Does she bite?

Him: Yes, but that I like. I’m afraid she has not healed. 

Doc: She has healed.

Him: How can you be so sure?

Doc: Because I have a “Dr” before my name and I’ve done hundreds of such surgeries. 

Him: I feel like she hasn’t.

Doc: How so?

Him: I don’t know. I just do.

Doc: Just do it. She’s fine.

Him: I’m not comfortable. I might hurt her. 

Doc: You must think highly of yourself.

Him: What?

Doc: Listen, she has healed. Go for it.

Him: Yeah?

Doc: Yeah. 

Him: Sawa. I will try. 

Doc: Don’t try. It’s been a year. You go hard or you go home.

Him: I’m home. It’s the hard I’m working on.  

Things didn’t change. “It didn’t help that my hair had started falling off because of all the medication I had been taking, so I shaved it all off. My dad thought I looked like a boy. He said I looked ‘fine.’ Fine is not a description he would have used on me before. I was beautiful before, now I was fine.” She would go about in baggy clothes to conceal her small frame. She started eating and gaining weight and filling out her clothes. He was mostly out, drinking. One day he came home in the morning and found her leaving, with her bags. “I’m going to my parents,” she told him. Before he could say, “Taita” she was reversing the car. Mediations happened. Then she came back. 

“The first thing I did that began to make a difference was to realise that I was more than my body. That you can get sick, your hormones can act up and your body will change, and it’s dangerous for your esteem to peg everything on your body. So I got to a point where I made peace with my scars. These are the scars that remind me of motherhood and motherhood is a special gift I was given. So accepting my scars helped me even gain weight.”

Whereas before she couldn’t look at her full body in the mirror, one day she stripped and stood before the mirror and really looked at her body. That was who she was now, she recognised. 

“With acceptance came confidence and my confidence might have helped kick-start our sex life.”

“What would you do differently, looking back?” I ask her. 

“I think we should both have gone for counselling soon after my surgeries. I went for counselling to handle the new me but my husband didn’t. I think he didn’t know how to deal with how my body changed. It was assumed that he would just handle the change automatically.” 

She then adds, “People say that marriage is hard, but they never really talk about what comes after the hard part. I think that pushing through the hard parts is what is sometimes necessary for the good parts to come.”

 

***

The registration of the Creative Writing Masterclass is now open. Tentative dates are 4th to 6th September. To register please email info@bikozulu.co.ke 

 

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154 Comments
  1. Is this story done? Like really? I feel like it’s unfinished, Biko.
    Hujumaaaa!

    Speaking of hujumas, how comes I don’t get post notifications no more? I have to spend my mornings refreshing this page.

    Like a barbarian!
    Conan is not pleased.

    263
    1. You know! This story feels incomplete – like not necessarily how it ends but like a huge chunk of the body is missing. I thought women would paint an even more detailed picture of their situations but so far, the men seem to have done a better job.

      137
      1. I have a feeling it could also be with the change in style of writing. Perhaps I could be the only one who feels it.

        Previously, the vividity of reading it captivated and the strokes of writings were pituresque if compared to painterlies that is.

        Is it the lots of 3rd party narratives? Are you ok Biko?

        29
      2. Thank you. I have been wondering eish women and marriage is not colourful. This story is lacking in alot!!! Sigh….. Maybe they will get more colourful as we move along. But so far, the men have it.

        60
    2. It certainly feels summarised. I liked the fast-paced and dramatic men and marriage pieces. These women pieces are very blah. No offense meant to Biko

      52
    3. Am with you on this,
      I feel the same.. chocolate man this story should be continued.
      You have left us hanging with imagination.was he cheating,did he cry when they reconcile,did he run as the car took off,did he go to for her or did she come on her own.

      so very incomplete.not fair

      42
    4. The whole series has just been written shallowly… I’m so bored already. The way I thought they would be more engrossing than the men series.

      5
    5. Awesome story but:
      FEEDBACK
      I think in an attempt to make the stories short and witty in this series, a huge chunk is being left out and we are feeling it as fans. Remember the men and marriage series and other stories where we would be immersed in the long stories so much that at the end you had to snap out it. We honestly don’t care too much about ‘fancy’ ‘proper’ and ‘articulate’ sentences as much as we want the WHOLE STORY the way only Biko can tell it !!!! Guys lets send this feedback out so that this series gets better. I am feeling shortchanged!!!! 🙁 🙁

      6
    6. Me too.
      I feel like this story isn’t finished and I don’t get email notifications.

      Also, not throw shade on this new blog design but the former one had better aesthetics and so much easier to navigate. This is just, I don’t know, not you?

  2. these women and marriage stories feel rushed. Like they are written to check off one more item on the to do list. Disappointed.

    44
  3. WOW! This story is truncated! Is there a missing Part?
    Procurement guy!
    I wish I worked in one of those companies. I wouldn’t mind the low hanging pickings hehehe!

    4
  4. Consider a Churchill like show for us readers where we buy tickets at a fair price get seated with our coffees just to hear these being read. What do you think of this idea Biko

    11
    1. Would be great. Like happens with The Moth. There is a podcast by the same name. If you enjoy hearing personal stories read or told live you should check it out.

      2
  5. Is there a part 2 to this story? I feel like it didn’t run its full course. And please, could the email notifications be put back on.

    28
  6. A good but a short read!

    What happened with notifications biko? I had to check your tweets to get this post. Even with resubscribing.

    4
  7. Aiiiii, niiivo, that story is incomplete.

    The men and marriage series was more insightful than this manze. Too many questions manze. Too many questions.

    30
  8. Biko this story needs a conclusion bana. or even more details about how they got their mojo back hehehe…..I feel as if too much is summarized, and the way the say the devil is in the detail. Thanks for the stories though

    2
  9. Great read. Women in marriage series is tantalizing but so short. We will appreciate more meat, the drama, the humor, the lessons, the good bad and all in between. Men in Marriage was smooookin!

    3
  10. Sometimes you just take it, it won’t break your bones but then again Words of a woman cut through the blackest of spaces and the hardest of surfaces….
    Hey Mr chocolate man we’re not getting notifications or do you want us to start talking about your forehead for the notifications to start flowing like River Nyando? Let’s not go that route, talk to your IT guys ( Particularly the one with scruffy beards and earphones on all the time -i’m picturing my imagination).

    6
  11. Hey Biko!
    Is this story finished???like really!I wanna go gaga and cause mayhem,where is the other chunk of the story??so short!you can bet am hanging loose seated panting waiting for more.but its a great read either way!I thought women and marriage was so predictable ,I bet I was wrong!i did not know us women have such unconventional stories ,I thought its just mainstream and obvious guess am wrong!continue keeping this series on torrid,I love ,I love.

    2
  12. I thought today was one of those days you skip writing because I got no notification on my email…. Then boom!!! I saw your story on Instagram . Really unfair Biko,really unfair.

    1
  13. Hey Chocolate man? Do you have something against procurement guys..? I have to admit nimecatch…ain’t a guy but that’s my profession!!
    Anywho, this story doesn’t feel complete…

    1
  14. Really Biko this story isn’t finished you’ve left out a huge chunk of it and that literally killed the whole narrative.Iam really psyched up for this women and marriage series and I don’t want to be disappointed please do something.

    6
  15. Men who wear toughees,who hurt you as a child?I thought I was the only who doesn’t like men who wear bad shoes or let’s say shoes that look like toughees.Men please the type of shoes that you wear either gives you a thumbs up or shuns you.

    3
  16. I love the fight over the “Lamp”… Hahaha…
    A touching story that has left me wondering if you edited parts of it. Did you now Biko?
    I am no longer getting notification of new posts. Why?

    3
  17. I feel like the Men and Marriage series was lengthy and detailed Biko!!!this story seems incomplete but well,it’s never always about the lamp…

    6
  18. Chocolate man, is it the forehead or something?
    No notifications then I’ll have to keep on refreshing this website of yours.

    Plus this feels incomplete bana.
    Usitufanye hivooooo please

    3
  19. From my experience, I believe that if someone in a relationship has undergone a surgery that makes them feel insecure in their body, it is very much their partner’s job as well as their’s to help things become ‘normal’ again, restore factory settings.

    How I see it, one is supposed to look down at their scars, and not feel anything but gratitude for the fact they’re still alive to talk about their experiences.

    They don’t make us any less attractive and they certainly don’t change how we should be viewed sexually.

    5
    1. Am glad you diction has the word “think”. In reality, people get physically attracted with each other mostly before anything else comes along.

  20. Great imagery! This DH captain turns the tables and pulls a captain Flint- one night, one shot! Hail the sharp shooter! This however puts to the dock all those little oaths that ladies have repeatedly sworn and the hard positions taken regarding engaging office cocks.

    1
  21. Doc: Don’t try. It’s been a year. You go hard or you go home.

    Him: I’m home. It’s the hard I’m working on

    this one has left me weeping

    3
  22. Biko…..I just read a tearful beautiful story of the thorns we go through…..I read about me the story I never tell.
    Great.

    2
  23. ”I think that pushing through the hard parts is what is sometimes necessary for the good parts to come.” story seems a little rushed and summarized.
    but maybe that’s what marriage is- a journey characterized, not by grand tales& bravado, but by life battles surmounted together.

    2
  24. First off, I chanced upon this! Why the face [I don’t swear no more] don’t I get notifications anymore? Two, when is part 2 due? I need closure. Did they or did they not? And it could have been the lamp. Yes, sometimes I raise a shit storm over a frigging lamp, shove the swearing .

  25. I feel like I was short changed? That story was not deep enough was waiting for mmmhh moment however thanks my Tuesday is made
    What happened to the Emails?..

  26. “People say that marriage is hard, but they never really talk about what comes after the hard part. I think that pushing through the hard parts is what is sometimes necessary for the good parts to come.”

    Very true,,u might be carrying an imaginary scar for the rest of your life.

    1
  27. I think when we come to realise that dating is not s ynonymous with shagging we shall be able to carry our bags all types colostomy bags included with our backs straight married or not

    1
  28. Wow
    Lakini the end left me flipping my phone over for the continuation. I hope it was a pause to go put on the black lingerie and test the not-waters! Kissing a pawpaw made me feel like I give mine a raw deal after paying $3.49 per pound‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️‍♀️

  29. Marriage is a two-party business. Both parties (man and woman) must play their parts for it to work. The work includes financial, emotional, sexual and physical support.

  30. I think Biko put his heart and soul into the men and marriage series because, well, he is a man in marriage so he gave it his all. but for the women series not so much. I get we were trying to do something different, you stated as much in the beginning but it just lacks a certain something. We were not also just asking for happy endings. I know we complained about how marriage was getting a bad name from the men series but we expected the same caliber of story telling. I almost wish we had just left it as the men series and not do a female one.good read all the same

    24
  31. this is funny ……but it feels like a chunk of the story was left out?

    Him: I’m not comfortable. I might hurt her.

    Doc: You must think highly of yourself.

    Him: What?

    Doc: Listen, she has healed. Go for it.

    Him: Yeah?

    Doc: Yeah.

    Him: Sawa. I will try.

    Doc: Don’t try. It’s been a year. You go hard or you go home.

    Him: I’m home. It’s the hard I’m working on.

    1
  32. men please dont wear bad shoes, you may miss out on a good wife just because. Alafu biko we dont mind reading a loooooooong story, this looks like a synopsis of the actual story

    2
  33. Did I just truly laugh out at your description of a colostrum bag
    You have a way with words sir. I’m glad they worked through the hard parts to the good parts. Marriage can be a cacophony of such unexpected stuff! It’s always a victory to wade through and still stand.

  34. ,,…….“People say that marriage is hard, but they never really talk about what comes after the hard part. I think that pushing through the hard parts is what is sometimes necessary for the good parts to come.”

    Wise words.

  35. These women and marriage series isn’t as interesting as the men’s. No offense Biko
    No notifications anymore

  36. Now what dd she have durig the interbmview? I bet it was a glass of Lemon water infused with dry rose petals with a dolop of Himalayan honey… She also had a slice of low sugar red velvel cake..

    1
  37. Story is too short and too summarized. Abit more flesh, like their office life while dating, and everything in between.
    On the comparison between with men and marriage, the men will definitely win, probably because they love to exaggerate!!!

    1
  38. I thought Biko had not posted for a while. Only to check the blog today and realize I have 3 weeks of catch up. What happened to email notifications?

    1
  39. “With acceptance came confidence and my confidence might have helped kick-start our sex life.”

    “Might have”…are we to assume that it didn’t. Then what happened to the marriage if this acceptance-fueled confidence wasn’t doing it?

  40. What do you do when the colostomy surgeries find you single with no children yet? What do you do when this story doesn’t have ‘closure’ but you were actually relating? I have questions and I hoped to get some answers here. The doctors know their way around the physical scars- they never prepare you for the emotional scars that come along. It’s going to be a long journey here- dating/marriage after colostomy surgery.

    5
  41. There is something about women and marriage that is not as intriguing as I had hoped…is that really the end of the story?

    1
  42. Biko, you sound bored….like you’re doing this women series out of duty, like you couldn’t be bothered to tell us more…like you can’t wait to be done and get over with it. Maybe talking to and with women isn’t your niche…maybe

    4
  43. Dear Biko,

    You do know it’s okay to do 1 story in 2parts, we will be pissed by the TBC, buh we will wait 1more week to read part2 coz we love you like that.
    I enjoyed the read as usual, you have a captivating way with words which leaves one feeling ‘gooood’ after the read.
    However, the story did feel rushed, like all the juicy itsy bitsy details were left out. More like a synopsis, very summarized. On behalf of your readers, i have allowed you to do a series-like story. Tutafuata tu.
    Sasawa chocolate man??

    1
  44. I had to scroll down before finishing just to see how long it is, alas, I was in the last paragraph. Jameni Biko!!

    And then, what really happened to notifications? 🙁 I have over subscribed.

  45. This woman series are too carefully written .I feel as if Biko is too carefully picking out which stories to write and what to write ,We understand that the generally in society woman have had their stories that reflects on marriage as a doomed institution and the men as villains and you Biko are trying to not propagate that notion which is actually good a mix of the both good and bad stories would actually be something me as a reader would appreciate

  46. Dear Biko,
    I’ve always loved how you tell stories, even this supposedly “incomplete” one.
    I’ll still be here next week, even if it won’t be part two of this story, and even if I don’t get notifications.

    2
  47. I could have related to this story, I’ve had that procurement guy and I have the scars but thank God I got out of hospital single but I just couldn’t. It felt like..
    Procurement guy.. blah blah blah… married.. blah blah blah.. hospital… blah blah blah blah.. no sex… blah blah…. I’m not sure if we finished the with sex in the marriage or not. Are they still married? No clue.
    Don’t rush through it Biko. I don’t think the women are shallow, they have more horror stories than the men. We have not even cried since the series started. Is that even normal? Is it some sense of loyalty to the men ama what is happening! Anyway, I’m hoping this series takes a turn. The way we almost suggested a singles after women?

    4
  48. Doc: Listen, she has healed. Go for it.

    Him: Yeah?

    Doc: Yeah.

    Him: Sawa. I will try.

    Doc: Don’t try. It’s been a year. You go hard or you go home.

    Him: I’m home. It’s the hard I’m working on.

    Hahaha

  49. Not only are we not getting notifications and the new font is weird, but reading the women’s series has to be done with a strange facial expression where you wonder if you are crazy ama it’s kinda boring!

    1
  50. I got a notification with link on email, thank you man and women at work.
    The description of after surgery is relatable there is quite some work to be done in the mind and body and relations.

  51. Biko are you okay? This is not how you do it. Please send us a sign… Let us know if you are okay. A sign please, we beg of you.

  52. you better be keen on these women and marriages stories, men already fear women dont make it worse..people want to get married after we are done..lol

  53. Once again I must say, this isn’t the Biko I know, you are rushing through the stories too much. this was a good one but you gave us a summary, your catchy descriptive phrases are lost…are women bad story tellers

    1
  54. Nowerdays you don’t send highlights in the personalized emails of the reads??
    Or this new website came with a lot of things I don’t understand??!
    So kindly Biko you know am your genuine reader kindly send me email notification like before don’t just boot me like that hot potatoe .

  55. Am I the only one who feels like the story is incomplete or rushed to an unpleasing end? Also what happened to email notifications?

    1
  56. ‪One sided relationships are like investing your emotional paycheck in someone else’s account while your account is in the red. Stop neglecting yourself.‬

    2
  57. Where is the rest of the story? No offense I’m not feeling this series just based on how it has kicked off. I hope we will not be reading about these young girls who get into marriage because they got preggied then husband cheats gets his sidechick pregnant, she leaves because of her principles and now is a single mom of three years marriage. There’s no story there, other than married at 25 and divorced at 30. Boohoo. Give us real stories, get us hooked.

    5
  58. New Website bad interface, new bad font, new bad stories and series and new Biko who is becoming bad story teller. Unleash your potential.

  59. I have realized am not the only one complaining of not getting notifications and the change of how the story is written… Have also noted the Saturday Nation didn’t have Biko story as usual, what’s up?

  60. Can you wear Toughees with ojebos ????

    Nothing wrong with the story, amybe a little on the short side. The problem that people seem to have is that we want to know all the details and goings on of their lives. Get real people, tell all your intimate details first.

  61. Biko is that it? I made a whole sandwich with the rare avocado, threw off my shoes cz I was to read for at least 7 minutes!!! Yawa my OCD cannot!

  62. And ikaisha tu… like goddamn how did they get their sex life back. There can’t be ying without yang… I feel cheated out on better juicy details

  63. Marriage is not a bed of roses, but it is beautiful and needs quite a lot of understanding, compromise and humility to mention but a few.

  64. I don’t think every story follows the same path so the whining doesn’t make sense…happy ending and all, although this is tied to our psyche. I enjoyed the story in as much it didn’t follow the path I might have liked it to.