Pray For Jane

   231    
11

On the way to the Kenyatta National Hospital Casualty department, in a fenced in compound, a willowy Somali-looking man in a white kanzu and a woman in black hijab are praying side by side on mats spread out on the brown grass. He cups his hand before him, head bowed, eyes closed. They face Mecca and The Maker. They must have a patient in. Everybody has a patient in. As I shuffle by, I wonder how many times the words “Lord”, “God”, “Allah”, “Jehovah”, are uttered each minute at KNH. Probably more times than in the biggest church in Nairobi any given Sunday. Which makes KNH a church in itself. A church of suffering, plea, grace, healing and mortality.

The large metallic kone elevator is full. In the corner is a man lying on a bed, covered in white sheet up to his chin. He lies there stiff as a flag post. With him are two attending nurses. The man’s eyes are shut. His cheeks are gathered a small pool of shadows. We opt to take the next lift. It’s approaching 6pm on Sunday evening, the tail end of visiting hours. There are throngs of people coming down staircases, saying their goodbyes as they walk loudly past. I see a child in a suit holding the mother’s hand, trying to keep up. It depresses me to see a child dressed in a suit. It’s like those guys who dress pets. Doctors squeeze swiftly past us, a blur of white with their stethoscopes garroting them. Angels in scrubs.

On the fifth floor, we head to Surgical Ward 5B. The women’s section. Someone who knows someone, who knows someone had told me, that there is an impoverished woman who is physically disabled in Ward 5B, she has breast cancer and is scheduled for a mastectomy. I hound misery.  I’m with Wanjiru (her first time in KNH) the lady who had put me through the someone who knows the other someone who doesn’t want to be mentioned here because the Government of Kenya might just fire her because she isn’t supposed to speak to “the media” without authorization.

We walk into Ward 5B and there is a group of people gathered at the furthest bed near the window. The sun is slowly exiting stage left. Opposite is another small group at a bed. Next to the bed is a lady sound asleep. I watch closely to see if her chest is moving. It is. The rest of the beds are empty. Empty beds in a hospital can mean good or bad news. Either the occupants lived or died. Ward 5B smells of vacuity. I don’t want to call it emptiness because then that would imply that the space is occupied by air. It feels like a vortex without gravity, where souls pass through to another world. Like a holding area where your case is deliberated upon by people with wings and harps. It’s like the Rubicon. Yes, that’s the word I was looking for, the Rubicon.

There is a lady on bed 12. She’s a small ball on an even smaller bed. She’s sitting up, but she seems more hunched forward, her head resting on her hand. The troubles in her head seem numerous enough that they’ve weighted her head down. I’m familiar with that look. Towards the end of my mom’s life I would catch her in that position, head bent down, full of thoughts of death, of what would happen to us after she was gone, how long after would my dad remarry, what would happen to her clothes. A head full of flickering thoughts.  

The lady has a yellow scarf and some old fleece jumper with a frayed and dirty collar.

She’s the only one in the ward not being visited today.

“It must be her,” Wanjiru whispers. We walk over and approach her, she raises her head like it’s made of ballast. Her wide eyes look like sunflowers that have been in the sun for too long. Her lips are chapped. Her skin is pale, that unhealthy paleness that comes with poverty or sickness or both. “Habari madhe?” I say in a whisper because that ward commands something in you. She mumbles, “Mzuri.” I ask her if she’s Jane Kavaya. “Ndiye mimi”, she says in a feeble faraway voice that seems to come from under the old fleece jumper. We gingerly lower ourselves onto the edge of the adjacent bed.

I introduce Wanjiru and myself. She slowly sips us in through a wooden straw made of cynicism. She asks, “Nyinyi ni wa nani?” And before we can find the appropriate response she says, “Nyinyi ni wa Mutuku?” Wanjiru says no and tries to explain our presence there. She doesn’t seem convinced. She seems crushed that we are not from Mutuku.  

We tell her pole kwa ugonjwa and without warning, she raises one side of her jumper and shows us her left breast. Wanjiru gasps. A short quick gasp as if someone drove a sharp needle in her thumb. Maybe because of Wanjiru’s reaction she pulls down her jumper. But I see it. In that brief revelation of her breast, I see what cancer looks like.

Her left breast is the size of her head – and her head is the size of a decent watermelon. I’m no doctor, but it could be that the cancer enlarged her breast. It looks engorged, like something within it is straining to burst through. The colour of her breast isn’t the same colour as her face. It has these numerous veins running all over it like a web of deceit. It would be unfair to say that it looked jarring, because what was jarring I guess, was the fact that this 60 year old woman battling breast cancer tossed away her vulnerability to show perfect strangers her sick breast. I don’t know, but I felt indebted.

She is from Masaku. She has a 25 year old daughter, who in turn has a seven year old kid. She has had polio since she was a child and is physically disabled. Last year she fell sick. When you fall sick in shags you go to the local dispensary, where you are given Panadol by some clinical officer whose diagnosis is a guess as to what you could be suffering from, and then you are sent home to get well. You don’t get well. You keep falling sick. Your back is rubbish. The pain curls around your ribs. You don’t sleep well. You lie in your dark house during the day, with goats stopping by at the door to stare into this dark pit that has swallowed you. Someone suggests you should go to KNH and there they discover that you have breast cancer after a battery of tests. You need to get admitted but there is no bed. So you go back to Masaku and come back after a few days. You get bed 12.

Number 12 could be a good thing. Think 12 disciples or the 12 tribes of Israel or the Greeks who imagined 12 tribes on Mount Olympus or the Shi’a Muslims who listed 12 ruling Imams who followed Prophet Muhammad. The number 12 could work for her. Or not.

The completely bewildering thing about meeting Jane is that she doesn’t seem to know she has cancer. Sure, she says ‘watakata hii’ to refer to her breast, but she seems oblivious of the disease that’s necessitating the mastectomy. I ask her how she is feeling and she complains of pains in her lower back and her ribs, and nausea when she eats. She doesn’t speak fluent Swahili, so sometimes she says stuff in Kikamba, most of which gets lost in translation. She keeps asking me, “Wewe ni wa nani?”, finally I tell her, “Mimi ni wa mbali.”

Around the bed at the far end, the group is now praying loudly in Kikuyu over an equally loud TV from the reception area in the distance. On Jane’s bedside is a squashed packet of ribena, a roll of tissue paper, Colgate kadogo and at the foot of the bed an orange washing basin and bathroom sandals. I wonder where her Bible is.

What strikes me is her loneliness. She seems so lonely. Like she has been abandoned there at the hospital. I ask her if she has been visited by family and she says no. Her uncle came the previous day. If she’s 60, I wonder how old her uncle is. I don’t ask.

She isn’t on WhatsApp obviously. I wonder how many times her phone rings in a day, and if she even has airtime to call. There is no TV in the room or a book to read. And when people come to visit other patients she just sits alone on her bed, alone with her enlarged, cancer-ridden breast and her thoughts. I wondered how that was; not to have family around you during such a time; to sit there alone and not have anyone pray with you. Or to tell you that you will be fine.  All you do is sit there and wait all alone for them to cut your breast. I wondered if she thought of death. And how often. Or if she was scared, and what scared her the most.

I asked her if she prays and she said she does. “Mimi ni Mkristo.” Her head drops back. Head heavy with uncertainty. She keeps adjusting what I want to believe is her foot but the way it’s placed it could be anything. Polio is awkward.

“My mom was called Jane”, I hear myself blurt out at some point. I don’t know why I felt the need to tell her that. It is unnecessary, and easily the most foolish thing I will utter by her sick bed. I can’t comprehend my actions. Maybe I’m desperate to fill the pockets of silence that she sometimes hands out to us, when she stares down and recedes to a place we could never comprehend. In hindsight maybe I was desperate to establish some kinship by nomenclature because we couldn’t sufficiently answer the question she persistently asked of us: “Wewe ni wa nani?”

Nonetheless, when I uttered those words I saw, from the corner of my eye, Wanjiru slowly turn to stare at me incredulously. Only then did I realise that I had used past tense (“alikuwa anaitwa Jane”).  I prayed that she wouldn’t ask me more about my mom because then I would have to tell her that she died, and you don’t want to tell someone sick, ailing from cancer that they have the same name as a dead person. Foot in mouth. Thankfully she just smiled. A smile that needed lots of ironing.

Before we leave we ask her if she has bills pending and she says her uncle had paid 25K. We ask her if she needs something, food, anything, she shakes her head.

She only asks us to pray for her.

If you will be praying tonight, or tomorrow, include Jana Kavaya of KNH’s Ward 5B Bed 12, in your prayers. Pray so that the Lord can offer her serenity to accept the things she can’t change, because God knows there is a hell lot she has no control over now. Pray for her to get courage to change the things she can, and the wisdom for her to know the difference. Pray for Jane as she faces the knife and stands at the edge of that daunting Rubicon.

 

PS: Jane is scheduled for surgery this Friday

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

11
231 Comments
    1. Thursday is a holiday? Are you guys free we plan a visit before her surgery on friday ? We will carry what we can and offer what we may…

      1
      1. May God’s spirit rest upon Jane Kavaya, she is strengthen and comforted for what is coming. I pray that God’s anointing for healing transcend that theater for her permanent healing in Jesus name.
        am also in for the visitation. all she needs now is loving people around her.

  1. God’s Hand is not too short that it can’t reach Jane. My prayers are with her for her family’s sake and God’s Glory.

  2. For a moment there I got engrossed with detail. I’ve imagined lying there, at 60, no calls, no Tv, no WhatsApp and no visitors and simply waiting for the doctor to cut off my breast. It sure does sucks. Cancer sucks. I’ll pray for Kavaya.

  3. That story is humbling. The moment you realise that you are really blessed to be walking, eating in a free world.Will keep praying for all of them.
    www.ogetoevans.com

  4. Breaks my heart. Very much so. My heart cries out for Jane, especially the fact that she doesn’t even know what’s in her body.
    And reading every article on your blog this month just scares the hell out of me, wondering just how many more souls out here, are suffering. Worse, not even know they have cancer.
    Get that test, today.

  5. Prayer is our only weapon, our only defense, our only lifeline.
    Praying for Jane, that God’s mercies will be refreshed to her every morning.
    Heart ♥ breaking

  6. this post pains me, and i am going to save it, just to remind myself how lucky i am. Jane Kavaya of KNH’s Ward 5B Bed 12, may the good Lord comfort you,give you peace and ease your pain.

  7. God Bless her…make her strong during this difficult period in her life. It must be tough, but God is always watching, and wants the best for all of us.

  8. That piece was heavy, it has all my fears; being sick and being lonely…come to think of it, It could be me lying in that bed, but am healthy not that am special or pray alot but its just mercy. My prayers are with Jane

  9. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we bow our heads to beseech you to release the countenance of your merciful comfort upon Jane. See her through her surgery and give her hope and the courage to never back down in the face of this ghastly beast called cancer. Cover with your infinitely mighty palm also other patients in the same condition as Jane. We make this prayer through Christ our Lord.
    AMEN.

  10. God in Heaven will definitely see her through the operation..read through the story and felt like i was just next to biko and wanjiru.

  11. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

  12. Am very sad. This piece is smelling grief literally. Got explosion of emotions running through my mind… Sigh. I think hospital walls have heard sincere prayers more than church walls . The greatest wealth we can have is our health. Take a minute and thank God for the little blessings He gives us daily. I am praying for Jane. I believe it shall be well.

  13. will sure drop in a line for her, may jehova rapha come through for jane. may he provide finances and giver her strength as she undergoes treatment

  14. God is watching over you Jane Kavaya. Iknow because i just asked Him to. The good Lord will lead you all the way. Lots of love and prayers for you.

  15. that’s deep, and what hurts is the reality that cancer is real. God is faithful and He will come through for Kavaya.

  16. The way you bring out these stories, leaves one with a trail of thought that seems endless. I pay for her, i pray for all battling this disease. I pray that God remembers mercy.

  17. When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God be glorified through it” (John 11:4). All shall be well in Jesus name.

  18. “I wonder how many times the words “Lord”, “God”, “Allah”, “Jehovah”, are uttered each minute at KNH. Probably more times than in the biggest church in Nairobi any given Sunday. Which makes KNH a church in itself. A church of suffering, plea, grace, healing and mortality”
    Praying for jane

  19. May God be with the doctors as they treat her and grant her healing. As much as she only asked for our prayers, Biko please check with Wanjiru if we can contribute for her treatment and perhaps link her with Faraja or another support institution.

  20. Heavy. I shed a tear.
    I wish I was there to give her a hug and let her know she’s not alone.

    I lift Jane Kavaya before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I declare that nothing is impossible with God.
    May Jehovah Rapha heal her body, soul and spirit. May Yeshua Jesus Christ, who walked the streets of Galilee stretch out His hands and make her whole. May He apply the balm of Gilead on her body, and restore her to creation order.
    I pray for her family and friends to surround her with their warmth and comfort at this time.

    In the matchless name of Jesus, Amen.

    1. May your will be done, oh Lord, Father in Heaven. May your loving embrace cover Jane Kavaya and all your other children in similar situations. May your healing be upon them. For it is in Jesus name, I pray and believe. AMEN.
      Biko, why have you made me cry??

  21. Damn you Biko!! You made me cry. KNH Ward 5B Bed 12. Please lets take a visit there!! then take a special prayer for her.

  22. Praying for Jane….May the Lord Almighty the God of Israel visit her and many others in her situation in a special and mighty way

  23. This has brought tears to my eyes.. May God heal you Jane. I remember my grandmother passing away in Knh. I remember her eyes when I last saw her. I said see you kesho and she just smiled. I’m so sad

  24. So so sad.Every word on this one has brought out the raw emotion, and unexplained
    feelings. Holding myself together. My daughter and i will say a prayer to Jane.
    By His stripes we are surely healed.

  25. I kept hoping this story would have a happy ending. I was desperate. I kept thinking,”Every dark cloud has a silver lining.” But this story had none. Which is even more heartbreaking. What about a paybill number, or just a number we can send whatever one can afford? You know, give this cloud a silver lining.

  26. Heartbreaking, my prayers for Jane and all the sick people in this world, may they find cure and their sins be removed from all the pain.

  27. I tell you, you never know the value of health till you are sick and the importance of visiting sick people till you have been there. Praying for her

  28. Pray so that the Lord can offer her serenity to accept the things she can’t change, because God knows there is a hell lot she has no control over now. Pray for her to get courage to change the things she can, and the wisdom for her to know the difference. Pray for Jane as she faces the knife and stands at the edge of that daunting Rubicon.On my knees for Jane,God will see her through

  29. Oh Lord… We put Jane Kavaka in your hands this day….. Give her strength and good health…. And above all my your will be done…. In Jesus Name…. Amen….
    Thanks for visiting her Biko… Barikiwa….

  30. I really do pray that God comes through for her in a special way but that aside, when you think of all the money going to the pockets of a few due to corruption and the suffering of hundreds who’s only crime is poverty, you get angry at a political class that is crazy about winning elections and an electorate that can’t see through the bullshit.

  31. Lord God, you are Father to the fatherless and husband to the widows. You are the friend that sticks closer than a brother.

    Daddy, Jane Kavaya feels all alone in the world. In the pain and confusion of double tragedy.

    Yet, yet You say that in ALL things we ought to give thanks.

    This is a hard one Lord. To be thankful when one of us is in dire need of companionship and laughter and strength for the tumultuous journey that life can be.

    Lord, embrace Jane in Your arms. Surround her with angels. Thank You for Biko who has highlighted her case. And even as people begin visiting her to minister comfort to her….. Lord heal her. Not for any reason but that Your Name may be glorified.

    Thank You Lord for you always incline Your ear to answer Your children’s prayer. Today’s prayer for Jane is mixed with tears and love.

    Do what You do best Papa. Miracles, Signs and Wonders following.

    In Jesus name we pray and believe, Amen!

  32. this has touched my heart. can’t even comprehend going through such alone. i will pray for Jane, and all the other cancer victims out there.

  33. God will carry you through Jane. hold on, keep your trust and faith.
    I pray that God may make Himself known to you. That through these waves you will live to testify of His Goodness and how He is Just Lord.
    His will for your life is good, pleasing and perfect (Rom 12:2) receive it.

  34. This one demands to be shared,it brings some really sad vibes.makes you think about life and death the way you never want to.thanks Biko

  35. Because nothing is too big for the God that we serve! Him who is bigger than all our worries, bigger than anything! You change not and like the yester years when you brought Lazarus back from the dead, we know You do the impossible in the eyes of man. That even when we cannot imagine it, Lord you can do it. So remember Jane Kavaya today. Pass her not oh gentle saviour!

  36. Jane, get well mom/granny/sister/aunt. Our prayers for your successful operation. God protect and heal you completely.

  37. May our LORD JESUS come thru for u mama jane.when our backs r against the wall,He knows how
    how to get us back in shape.I feel you Biko,this article had agrip on me n brought aflood of emotions.Have seen
    that wound before,it leaves u clueless as it eats into your loved one.
    To all cancer patients,survivors,family members may the Peace of God b
    your portion today n forever.

  38. Cancer and poverty don’t mix. I thank God for the new NHIF scheme which is offering some hope. If only all would register to get the advantage….

  39. I will do a rosary for Jane in this October month. God’s grace is sufficient. So are we visiting Jane on Thursday?

  40. My mom was at KNH for cancer treatme. It was our every day duty to visit her. Everything stopped, only her mattered. As I prayed for Mum, I pray for Kavaya. For God to heal her, like He did for Mum. Shalom!

  41. Biko you are one of a kind.Thank you for letting us be there for Jane through our prayers.
    I pray that Lord’s will be done in her life.
    Remember her dear Lord.

  42. When you read such stories you realize that the stupid stuff you complain about in your life are just that. I thank God everyday for my health and now I will pray for Jane’s total healing. She deserves at least one good thing in her life health wise.

  43. Posts like this make me reflect on life and how I am often so ungrateful.Good health is truly a blessing.I will keep Jane and others in a similar condition in my prayers.

  44. This is so heartrending, Jane you are not alone. My prayers go out for you and every other ‘Jane’ out there. May the Most High see you through and may He let you live.

  45. Biko, this piece has deeply touched me. i will be praying for Jane and many others. Just 3 hours ago i met a close friend who spent 10 hours in hospital undergoing different tests for a lump she has in one of her breasts. she will get results on Friday (as Jane undergoes surgery) and later surgery. My head hurts from our long conversation with her.

    May Gd heal them all, so scary yet so real and sometimes so close to us

  46. It is well Jane Kavaya. The piece is very heartbreaking and painful. My prayers with You Jane. Healing is upon you. Sobs

  47. Thank you, Biko, for providing a quorum, for Jane…
    She’s not alone anymore..
    The gang is there for her, in more ways than one.
    https://youtu.be/Fl-Z2uChqeQ

  48. Lord, this will be a long month…
    So pained because I was in KNH some time back and I remember seeing a certain lady, forlorn, alone, emaciated, with that faraway look thats so unsettling. She had no visitors, nobody even to say hi…. then this…

    Lord Jesus, I know you hear me, Please Heal Jane I ask of you…

    Amen.

  49. I have prayed and will continue to keep Jane in my prayers. I also want to acknowledge you Biko. Thank you for the good work you do. God bless you.

  50. For those who cant make it to visit Jane tomorrow, how can we contribute? May the God of Isaac, Abraham and Jacob heal her.

  51. “Whatever, my Lord, It is well with my soul”.
    Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

  52. May she be healed in the name of Jesus…i declare today in the name of God the father, the son and the holy spirit that she shall be healed

  53. Prayer is just wishful thinking Biko. I am of the idea we do weekly visits and offering hands on solutions. There is need to be pragmatic.

  54. My sincere prayers for Jane, may God help her through this and continue strengthening her as she undergoes the operation.

  55. May the God who never sleeps watch over Jane. Such a humble soul. Is there an impending bill? I doubt 25k covers all costs…we could chip in….

  56. Praying for Jane. @Biko it is getting increasingly difficult to read the October blogs in a public place…. teary eyes; running nose and all…

  57. Yes, and Amen!
    Biko needs a platform , larger than the blog.
    Where real live people can sit and listen and contribute live…
    Something similar to Churchill show…
    That way, we can act, PAP

  58. I have seen this look on my patients….so devastating.i pray for her and all the others,we really should thank God pple.Cancer is real.

  59. I read this story and it gives me another strong reason to thank the Lord for my Family and Friends who are always around to support and guide me. I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy lone suffering May the good Lord offer her comfort and give her strength to overcome all this.

  60. Am in tears and right now I’ll cancel my plans for kesho and visit Jane-Those who are going please get in touch 0720250378

  61. I trust in God for Janes recovery.I went through the same procedure and am very well today.Our God is forever faithful.It is well Jane.

  62. Hey, gang!
    Happy Mashujaa.
    I hope a handful of you went to visit Jane…
    I sent my prayers and still waiting for a focal point to send some little money, to help Jane, even with airtime.
    By the way, I was watching alfajiri, and saw this new project about STEM CELLS!
    Has anyone watched it?

  63. As we pray for Jane we can act to help those like her. Please visit the LetstalkcancerKE mchanga page. The campaign is to help needy cancer patients in Kenya with shelter, food and care packages. You can support this cause at https://secure.changa.co.ke/myweb/share/8219

  64. I am reading this today and cant stop my tears from coming out.
    have never been to kenyatta but i am touched. team this sato or sunday please lets see jane 0723591557 .God please see jane through !

  65. I pray that she comes out and also manage to recuperate well post-well. Someone to confirm her condition post-op please…Biko

  66. As you say the prayers kindly remember there’s no Church without priests. They not only hear or read of such sad stories, they live them everyday. They leave their families (some of whom are suffering the very same diseases elsewhere) and go to handle very many Janes, who look them in their eyes and ask why them,why they can’t be healed..and the priests have no answer because they were not trained to heal but treat, only God heals. The priests watch patients die and yet have no time to cry,they have to ‘be strong’- another jane needs them, a family needs them to explain why their two year old has cancer.. ”Isn’t that for old people?” They ask,desperately seeking an answer. Many priests have to work with limited resources to do mighty deeds,then await meagre payslip contents at the end of the month- on good days. There’s a saying that there’s two types of stress relievers, alcohol or salvation,as a medic you must have a way to handle the stress. As we join you in saying a prayer for Jane, kindly slip in a sentence for the priests, the workers in the hospitals..God bless you all for your kind hearts PS/ clinical officers are well trained personnel who save millions of lives out there,they don’t base their work on guess work

    1
  67. Thank you Steve…
    Sorry, but I don’t get your point…
    The pain and suffering of many people, does not reduce the pain and suffering of one person.
    The meagre salary of priests, does not disregard the pain and loss of their parishers..
    Apart from medications and the care, the medical team provide for the patients, the pain, suffering and loneliness remain real.
    One individual situation is never the same with the other…
    Jane, seems not to have family, friends, finances, even a priest, to go and pray for(with) her… this is where we come in-as well wishers…and we wish all the other patients the same… the difference is, we don’t know them by name, like we know Jane..
    May the Grace of God, be sufficient for all of us..

  68. lord Jesus,embrace jane and heal her.this is so difficult lord,only you can handle it.forgive us for the times we take health,warmth of a family and friends for granted.forgive us for not always taking time to visit the sick.remember jane and for your glory please show mercy and heal her.

  69. Cancer is sooo dark but i stumbled on hope while researching non poisonous ways to reverse it…..everyone should check out Gerson Therapy at www.gerson.org and check out a documentary called Dying To Have Known on YouTube.

  70. Hey, I came back here to check on Jane’s story, to know what happened after surgery, did she go home, is she recovering