Starting from the end.

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He was called Sultan. He reached for the door of the Tuk Tuk as soon as it ground to a stop outside Fort Jesus. And there he was helping the missus out like a perfect gentleman (something I should learn), there he was lifting my little girl out even though I hate when strangers do that, you know touch my kid. It’s intrusive and somewhat perverse. It’s even worse when the person looks like a yob, and Sultan did. How could I not judge him? He looked deadbeat and somehow disoriented; his shirt was stained, but not half as stained as his teeth and he was raggedy and emaciated -a strong wind would effortlessly blow him to India. And I judged him based on only this first impression. Me in my foolish shallowness promptly dismissed him as a good for nothing bum. But guys like him have seen my type, they deal with my type all the damn time; guys who go down to the coast with an overblown sense of importance, with a misplaced superiority. And he deals with them by being the opposite of them, by being decent human beings.

So I tried to dismiss him, I tried to treat him like he wasn’t there even though all he was trying to do was make a quick buck. But he was relentless. He ignored my unschooled behavior with an astonishing casualness and in the end I was left with no choice than to have him as our guide. That was on Saturday; little girl’s first time in the coast, and thus Fort Jesus, which come to think of it is like coming to Nairobi and going to stare at KICC. Bewildering.

So Sultan ran us through the history. He showed me, for instance, how the Portuguese used to take a dump; through this holes in the wall. They would sit there staring into the blue sky or just picking their teeth, their asses stuck in a hole in the Fort, taking a luxurious dump under the sun; easy, chilled out, the wind blowing through. Bliss. When did life get so complicated? Folks, when did we flush simplicity down the drain?

Sultan proved to be a competent and knowledgeable guide. He’s been doing it for 25years now, and nothing has changed; not the visitors who wander in their trying to make a connection with the past, not the building which has remained frozen in another century, not him who has been running the same commentary for a pitiful alms. And when he started telling me about himself, I started feeling guilty for being such a snob, for being so judgmental, for being such a thoroughbred prick.

But se he’s better than me, Sultan, better than most of us. He has raised two children; 22yrs and 18yrs all earning a decent living. I have one kid, only 3yrs old and I’m already whining and demanding a trophy. He prays five times a day. I can’t remember the last time I went to church, and yet I have the chutzpah to stand before God and ask for favors. He’s 45yrs of age; I’m in my early thirties, so that means he knows a lot more about life and all. He has better communication skills and clearly a better personality. Against him I have a personality of laundry peg. And lastly, and most importantly he has a dream, even though the odds are against him

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he still dreams. He dreams to buy a big powered boat and spent his twilight years fishing in his shags somewhere in Watamu and live in a wooden house. He told me this as we walked around, pointing at skeletons of dead Portuguese and more Portuguese loos. At 45yrs, and he was still dreaming while some of us were starting to get unsure of our dreams. I felt foolish. This guy had a plan, but better yet he relentless nursed this seemingly self-destructive hope while he sweated through the fort showing unappreciative oafs like me around for a pittance. He had tunnel vision and I was convinced that he would get that boat. He asked me what I did for a living and I told him I write. He asked me where I was staying in the coast and I told him and watched his eyes squint cynically, “How –”

“I’m not paying for it.” I said quickly, then explained to him how it worked. He nodded. At the end of it we became good friends and he said told me a Swahili saying which he roughly broke down into something like, “Don’t be caught up with today, today is useless, it doesn’t matter what you are today, or who you are today. Think of how tomorrow will end for you, that’s all there is to life, how it ends not how it begins.” This guy was sent. I swear, he was. But how does it really end when we all call it in, when we turn 55yrs?

I’m not scared of growing old. I’m only apprehensive, not scared. I want to retire somewhere with open fields, like Isinya, or Tigoni, away from the madness of the city. But not too far away because I want to nip in once in a while to feel the heavy breathing of the city and the madness that lives in its bowels. But I won’t be one of those bored old folks you see having tea at the Norfolk, wearing grumpy suits and ties and staring into space as if they are waiting for their youth.

I don’t want to be wealthy, just rich because being rich gives you a slight sense of insecurity and I thrive in a bit of insecurity, keeps me alive. Wealthy breeds invincibility makes you forget who you are in the food chain and nothing is more important than knowing your place in the pecking order. I want to live in a sexy white home on a hill where I can watch the sunset and get reminded of my mortality. I want to own cows, grade cows and I want to milk them once in a while, when I’m in a good mood. I want to have a farm, nothing too big, two hectares, not because I need it but because every old man needs a farm. I want to have a room in the house that stares directly into God’s balcony, a room where I write from. And I want to do nothing but write for three hours every day – not a book – but assignments, racy commentaries or travel pieces for foreign publications. I want to write for National Geographic, Vanity Fair, CNN Traveler or UK’s Sunday Times all which hopefully will require me to be away for a month, in a bush somewhere living on canned food and taking pictures of baboons and children with flies in their faces.

 

I want to own two Rhodesian Ridgebacks, because, outside Rottweilers I can’t think of any dog more magnificent, more gorgeous. I want to own an old Land Rover, named after a Russian stripper, a name like Sashenka or Valechka…I haven’t decided yet, I have loads of time to make up my mind. I will drive it around the sleepy town, but not when I want to go to the city, that I will use the black Range Rover Sport (the 4.1HSE in 25yrs time) and I will drive it into the city wearing a bad hat, preferably with cigarette hole on it. I want to run every morning, eat loads of vegetables and still be able to have an erection without the help of a forklift.

I want to own an old phone, one that doesn’t connect me to internet or Facebook or whatever social network there will be that time. And it’s through this phone that I will want to hear the voices of my three little girls call from some distant land where they will be pursuing dreams that I won’t be in tune with. I say three girls because that’s all I want, daughters. I’m not the son kinda guy. I want to sit there and hear them- my girls- say that they can’t seem to meet the right men, only I will be hearing that they can’t meet men like their father. Hehe, bliss.

I want to collect wine, red Chilean wine to be precise and I want to drink nothing that is under 8years old. I want to know God, to be closer to him because really at that advanced age you are staring at something more than just your demise, you are staring at your faith.

Once in a while I want to go down to Zanzibar and scuba-dive. And I want to go back to Senegal (because I would have gone when I’m 35yrs) and revive old friendships, retrace my steps and see what I missed the first time. I want to mentor a young man, make him my project and see how my influence on him shapes him. I want to grow strawberries and pawpaw. I want to grow a white beard. I want to eat with my hands and love with my heart, not my groin. I want to support a charity, like this special school I once did a story on in Mwingi. Children possessed by the devil, small little girls who would talk, scream, pull their hairs at invincible people. Heartbreaking stuff. And once in a while I want to go back to the city and tend a bar wearing a black suit and a white shirt and a ridiculous bow tie.

I want to die because I control not such destiny, but I want to die when not much is left for me to do, when what’s left doesn’t leave me empty. And I will want to go back on this blog and dig out an old piece I wrote in my 30’s to see how far my thinking has developed but also wonder what happened to some of you who stopped here to make comments.

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  1. lovely piece!!! so far the best av read.
    You’ve just written about every man’s dreams including my own. And I come from Tigoni- no better place to live!!!!!
    “Folks, when did we flush simplicity down the drain?” hahah thanks for this piece Biko.

  2. Nice plans and dreams. But you should start with this- Ecclessiastes 12:13. And don’t chase too much vanity. And I apologize for thumping biblos on you. Peace.

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  3. Kind of brave to put it all out there, just remember its the process that is supposed to be fun too.

      1. Hey difficult to state your dreams so boldly, if you change your focus, or life hands you lemons like 5 sons 🙂

        I am lawyer by training, property developer by choice.

    1. I agree with Kimutai…. Biko, you certainly are courageous.. and I applaud you for being the real deal.

  4. Hi dude, this is the second piece that has not connected with me. I enjoy your travel posts but not this one. I really don’t know why, maybe I will read it again. Have a good week ahead.

    1. Perhaps try reading it with an open mind….this to me is one of the best pieces I have read from Biko. It has faith and hope and dreams and needs and it tugs at your heart…..wrapped around it is a surreal reality. Well done Biko….@Mike read it again with an open mind, thinking of your own dream it might pull some strings.

  5. “I want to grow a white beard. I want to eat with my hands and love with my heart, not my groin”……
    I have to just die laughing after reading this line. Biko you are the best!!!!

  6. Biko, i love the fact that you aren’t shy to dream, even though it might make you come across as “vain” as someone has mentioned up there. Aks someone about their dreams and they will sijui start making broad strokes with their brush. I personally dream of riches, even the death of wanjiru doesn’t deter me to pursue great wealth, wacha I die wealthy rather than poor.

  7. “Once in a while I want to go down to Zanzibar and scuba-dive. And I want to go back to Senegal (because I would have gone when I’m 35yrs) and revive old friendships, retrace my steps and see what I missed the first time……”

    When you go back to Zanzibar and Senegal look me up!!!! Lol

  8. i’ve felt dug out, completely withdrawn from this office. i hope my boss did not call me when i was lost into the old me, wearinng a scuba diver suit like Barney in an attempt to snatch a you girl’s heart- or goodies.

  9. My grandma always told us to be grateful for the children we get while being thoughtful of our desires. So what happens if you get the daughters you want because you’re not a sons kinda guy and they turn out to be something unspeakable….then what!!!! I hold the rest of my comments for now just incase you misinterpret the meaning.

    1. So what they turn out to be sluts or druggies or strippers, what more can I do about it? Will i say I wish I had boys? Ultimately we get what we deserve.

  10. i believe we are the achitects of our own fate and yours sounds very blissful! but i aint sure abt the boy v.s girls part! ill check with you in afew yrs..lol! good piece.

  11. If you say so!!! Why do you sound so fiesty? It was a comment. for crying out loud. Do you take things so personally when the comments don’t lean towards what you want to hear…..best description of Vain. So why don’t you write for those who nod to everything you say???

    1. @Dinah, were you just spoiling for a fight? It’s only Monday girl. Relax, it’s never that serious.

  12. In the end, I believe, it all works out. And if in the end, God forbid, it’s not Sashenka you are driving into town, I hope that the years will have helped you make peace with that-a 110 would do just fine. Nothing says I’m from out of town like a dirty white 110, always white

  13. I want to live in a sexy white home on a hill where I can watch the sunset and get reminded of my mortality. I want to own cows, grade cows and I want to milk them ……

    Exactly in my plans!!! Very nice column

  14. I agree with Muhindi and stop getting emotional about comments that’s why you allow feedback. Or is it not? Let people share their opinions, that’s why it’s called “their opinion” and not our opinion.

  15. If you don’t like a something then don’t run it but don’t come back with your daggers and armour out.

  16. Biko…great piece as usual… though im sure more women than men will appriciciate this piece.

    “I want to run every morning, eat loads of vegetables and still be able to have an erection without the help of a FORKLIFT”
    *giggles*

  17. There’s something powerful about writing down your dreams, a lot like saying them out loud. Many of these will come to pass and you will be amazed. I feel you on many of those dreams except the dogs. I want 2, a Golden retriever and a German shepherd.

  18. Biko a piece of advise at no cost. It’s great to dream big. If this dream is to materialize you had better be with somebody next to you who also dreams big or else it beats the purpose!

  19. This comes across as a bucket list of sorts…lots of wants, as opposed to …”needs”. Don’t worry, I too find it hard to differentiate the two.

    I enjoy your pieces a lot, amazing story teller.

    I don’t think your vain, I think you’re human..we were created (if popular belief is anything to go by), and so we seek other ‘created’ things that bring us pleasure…now I’m rambling. Good day.

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  20. @Nduati, you couldn’t have put it in any better way. We know of a mega number of men who have failed and fallen on the wayside because of that very reason and on the flip side, we have seen some succeed because of the smart and cunning partners they have. True story!!!! Good article I must say.

  21. Erection-Forklift….Huh!
    Clear line between “wants” and “needs” and thus lots of hard work is required to get there. People of our age still think of having three kids with this economy, I don’t that at all…..I mean ahem…..

  22. This is beautiful. You’ve made me want to dream. At times especially through the lows of life hope is reduced to a preserve of the young and dumb.

  23. @Biko, Please refer to God as Him not him.

    Very bold of you to say “We get what we deserve.”

    Dreams do come true. All the best as you pursue yours.

    @Kimutai your comment totally tickled me ‘….or life hands you

    lemons like 5 sons’ – 😀

  24. Just about the deepest piece I’ve read on this pages. Something changes when you let strangers into your life. Wait, a minute. I’m a young man struggling to write. How about you make me your project? I would like you to influence me!

  25. wow! what do i want…? great piece. one day you’ll look back at this post and either nod your head as you stare at a framed photo of your girls…or laugh. whichever it is, at least you’ll be happy.

    oh and the mentorship thing, you could always start…now.

    i loved it!

  26. Deep, yes! For me, it’s always been four boys. People don’t understand the craze. This caught me ” Eat vegetables and still be able to have an erection without the help of a forklift. “

  27. i think this has to be the deepest piece you have done, its really up there with the one you did about your daughter. Very well written! No shame in being vain in what you want, hell i dream of beyonce everyday:)

  28. “I want to eat with my hands and love with my heart, not my groin.”

    I want this for all men, to think through their upper faculties not with their lower passions.

    “I want to know God, to be closer to him because really at that advanced age you are staring at something more than just your demise, you are staring at your faith.” only i pray you find him sooner.

    I have dreams too,sorry, used to have, had given up on some and still giving up on more but not after i read this, no, imah go into the closet and dig ’em out, thanks Biko, if not for anything else, for HOPE.

  29. nice one… you re-inforced my dreams too… and i’m already looking for sites for that farm… lovely!

  30. Hey Biko,been a while since i left a comment. But this piece was demanded one. Reading this was like holding up a mirror to your soul; a beautifully written piece. 🙂

  31. that was amazing, i couldn’t help smiling all through, when did we flush simplicity down the drain? liked that part

  32. Biko, that holiday did you alot of good, didn’t it? I mean you actually focused on life tommorow!! How many of us go to ‘Hawaii’ and come back with stuff that will last for only two days? I just hope your missus agrees with your dreams because they agree with hers…..au sio?
    Otherwise it’s a good read.

  33. I need to stop reading peoples comments as they’re clouding what I wanted to say. This post really tugged at my heart strings…
    The beginning made me squirm because it’s something we do a lot in life (Nairobians? people from “big cities”?). We place ourselves up on a pedestal? Then the latter bit felt like a torch was lit in my soul =)
    Good luck with everything!!!!

  34. I want to know God, to be closer to him because really at that advanced age you are staring at something more than just your demise, you are staring at your faith.
    True man at that age you could be anywhere.

  35. Jackson, how about you love with both your heart and your groin? Thats actually what women want…hehehe…

    I keep on reading…:)

  36. Biko your posts are from the heart. If I were you, I’d have similar dreams. My dreams are much like yours, only altered to suit me 🙂

    I would also love to know where all commenters will be 20 years from now. Hopefully, I’ll be alive then.

  37. I’m a mom.

    To a 4 and a half year old boy. So naturally, your remark that you’re not the son kinda guy rubbed me the wrong way. Children are precious gifts. All children. I called mine Nathan (now Nate) because it means ‘God given’.

    There is this father who lost his son to cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma). This father read his son’s eulogy at his son’s burial. He read it first in mother tongue and then a longer version in English because most of the attendees were young guys, his son’s pals and cousins (his son died 10 days after his 24th birthday). This father not only just read the eulogy, he wrote it himself. He described the love between a parent and a child as the greatest of it’s kind. And in effect the loss of one’s own child as the greatest of it’s kind. My heart broke for him. This father happens to be my father and that son happens to be my bro.

    I love today’s post. The idea of writing down what you dream about. Where you see yourself in ‘n’ years. (Find ‘n’ :-)) There’s something powerful about it. And I’m inspired by this post to put mine down (dreams) on paper.

    However, (I watched too much Ian on TPF), I beg you to edit the children’s part in your dreams/aspirations. Let it be children fullstop. The ones that God decides he wants to give you. Sons or daughters.

    Sorry I got all emotional.

    I am a mom 🙂

      1. 🙂

        I agree that it doesn’t mean that a ‘daughter’ person or a ‘son’ person would love their child any less if it turned out to be the other gender.

        Biko, it is your dream. God wouldn’t fault you for being specific with what you want. Infact, the dreams that come true most frequently are those that are very specific. It shows you know EXACTLY what you want 🙂

        The point that I was trying to bring across is that children are the biggest blessing, regardless, and the love between a parent and a child is pure and uncomparable. Hope I’ve expressed my sentiments clearer now.

  38. Great piece Biko,

    Whilst its good to dream big, endeavor to do all things…everything with love. True, pure love always has a way to point us towards tangible miracles. Hope you find your miracle Biko…the realization of your wildest dreams. Bless you!

  39. thats nice biko, probably some of us would be far gone when you are still wondering what happened to them. An inspiring piece about life, i also dont want to be rich and get so much insecurities, i only need much that can sustain my family and myself. A simple life. Not like some people who get rich overnight and run themselves into trouble

  40. “I want to eat with my hands. Love with my heart and not my groin” I loved that bit Biko. And of late your pieces have really been touching base with me =) Insightful. Honest. Love it.

    1. Thats exactly what i thought when I read that line. Those kinds of statements can come back and bite you in the ass..hard!

  41. I want to eat with my hands and love with my heart, not with my groin.

    Hehehe!A great piece to distract me from my late hours in the office.

  42. Finally we get to what’s been going on with you these last couple of weeks (months?)…

    Once in a very long while, you write not to entertain or to amuse or even simply to tell a story, you write about yourself to yourself, all the while graciously allowing the rest of us to peek over your shoulder. Thank you and good luck with the dreams.

  43. First time to comment, this is by far your best post. It speaks to most of us and the lesson i can pick is that we should all dare to dream. I am a daughter’s person too, though i wouldn’t mind one son too.

  44. Remarkable piece,such make me come back every monday.To the not so kind fans dont rain on his parade,let the man dream.

  45. you remind me of a story whereby the writer wished to have his tomb stone written “I have no regrets.” That in my humble opinion is the whole point of life, to have o regret when life is extinguished from our hopefully frail and aged bodies.

  46. Great piece it makes me reflect on my dreams but at the end of it all its a matter of bn realistic.i hp that ur dream come true oh yeah love the bit GOD GIVES U WHAT U DESERVE

  47. ”When did life get so complicated? Folks, when did we flush simplicity down the drain?” me love that, i wonder too.

    About you mentoring……what about me? one problem though, am a woman, eish 2nd problem am in my early 30s just like you so i guess i dont qualify!.

    Good piece Biko and may your dreams come true….especially the one about owning cows, whislt at it, rear some donkeys too, they got beautiful eyes.

  48. This was a good read for me, I don’t see why people are talking vanity – since when did dreams become vanity? Vanity is in doing not in dreaming/hoping. And I don’t see anything wrong in wanting only daughters either, I highly doubt it means you would love your sons any less if God decided to throw in a few.

    Oh, I’m supposed to comment on the post not on the comments. Nice read, everyone has dreams. Life is about chasing them after all 🙂

  49. Hmm, Biko even your dreams are not just yours anymore. Everybody else has to come in & edit them. I pray you’ll find a balance, knowing when to listen, & when to be true to thyself.

    1. well said.. I was getting pissed at all the “dream editors”. My language was much stronger though.

  50. Vanity. Fair??? 🙂 dead… u have. Touched me. Alot I needed that big time. Thanks Biko. U still owe me the script thing.

  51. @Mizkato14, well said and without echoing the same sentiments raised earlier hopefully you have a partner who has the insight to dream big or bigger for you to reach some reasonable level of happiness.

  52. They usually dont grade fathers but you’ll have to admit one immutable fact , if your daughter(s) ends up as a stripper , then u know u Flopped big time.

  53. This is the deepest piece I have read on this blog.

    Biko, 30 years down the line, come and read this specific blog again. So will I but lucky for me, I will know what happened to you coz I’ll still be reading your blog.

  54. Your blog posts scare the living crap out of me!! In the few minutes it’s taken me to read this I’ve thought about my future, my offspring (and what their names will be), my legacy, my spirituality and worst of all my mortality.

    It happened so seamlessly I didn’t even know it happened. Like ThatDivaFarydah says, the honesty in your writing is the biggest appeal.

    Makes me want to be honest with myself..

    salute.

  55. God’s balcony… I’ve just moved into my first place away from home: a small flat in a building that’s neither sexy nor on a hill, but it *is* white, at least. From my bedroom i can see both the sunset and morning rainbow, and that’s exactly how to describe this view i’m starting to love: God’s balcony. Thanks!

  56. Biko!

    I stopped reading this post somewhere along the way, not because it was boring or shallow or too serious… because this is some seriously deep stuff! Hats off to you; not for daring to dream but for daring to tell your dreams to the world and to some level yourself all over again!

    Beautiful post! P.s. I’ll find the “balls” to finish it soon. 🙂

  57. Good piece Biko. @ Kilonzo, I second that because that can be the end of the dream….Alladin’s magic bottle…one minute it’s there, the next it’s gone.

  58. The best part about telling your dreams to the world, is that there will always be someone keeping tabs on you even 30 years later to make sure you achieved/did not achieve your dreams. All the best Biko.

  59. This is surreal.

    Like you, before you met Sultan, I sometimes feel like I have reached the end of my dreams and then am up again with my ‘bucket list’, only now I want to retire on the sunny beaches of the Seychelles, living in a wood structure and running a ‘Java-like’ restaurant on the shores of the Indian Ocean, I want to own a boat and a motorcycle and I hope to find true everlasting love. Be closer to God and live a very very simple life, taking care of the world and those in it. Biko, if after 30 years you come across my post, please say a silent prayer for me and than you for a beautiful post 🙂

  60. epitome of a great writer.its a random post with caress words.nonetheless its somewhat moving and enlightening…. the Portuguese loos?? i ring a bell hehehe.

  61. It takes courage for a man to open up his heart to the public like this. I however assume you can boldly state these dreams having consulted the missus, because I am sure you’d be the first to know how they can influence what you aspire for. I have had to give up a few things because of the missus and I have realised that stuff such as the number of kids you want to have is not always up to you. My dream was to end up with the 2 daughters I have but the missus says a third one is a must! Also I recently bought a piece of land where I think I want to retire. Before the transaction was even over, she was already planning for where the house would be located and I am already resigned to losing such arguments. OK, what I am trying to say that in these modern times, you dream is just not your dream only, unless of course you are still old school, where your word is law! have a wonderful week!

  62. but also wonder what happened to some of you who stopped here to make comments. ….I will be here(hopefully) or running a string of hotels and i will pay u handsomely to write about them.i hope you will remember i was your fan and coupled with great food ,the commentary will be awesome when u write about my empire.Great post as always….

  63. “The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain.”Kahlil Gibran

    Biko I read this and it sums up your post in a very informed man’s words.

  64. When I decide my productive life is well and done, I’ll sell my car, my house and everything I own, buy a big boat and sail away, writing from the sea.

  65. “Don’t be caught up with today, today is useless, it doesn’t matter what you are today, or who you are today. Think of how tomorrow will end for you, that’s all there is to life, how it ends not how it begins.”

    That has just made my day today…had to read and re-read it…

    Thank Biko. *thumbs up*

  66. I did my life plan the other day and i see we have similar dreams. They say dare to dream so go ahead dream, its the starting point for action. Great post.

  67. Biko…great piece.Again you’ve kept me late at work catching up on the last two of your blogs which says something

    I think a lot of pple can relate to this latest one including myself.Cheers

  68. i must say,reading the blog took me to a comfort zone.big dreams inspire us to be more than what we are and this piece definately did that.

  69. “Dare to dream..and big, for that matter!” Great post, somehow it has made me realise my own dreams in a broader gamut . 🙂

  70. A great piece. You describe Sultan so well that any one of us could have met *him*. And I do agree: he is better than most of us.

  71. So a chic is lyk biko u gat typo errors n’ thn writes*pragraph* no, rily??hehe.i think its a bit refreshing tht u kinda prefer daughters…river and the source by margaret..best illustrates ths.plus thts the kind of love u r familiar with..btwn a father & a daughter as u hv 1.so maybe if he gat a son..biko being biko wuld write an amazing article abt him 2.so ease up folk!geez.i love ths.

      1. See i ddn’t get the memo that you are..wats tht word??biko’s side kick and u running a class over here.Am 16 soo learning in progress.How about u pick on someone your age and if u too bored feel free to peel a banana(word is it helps) or ferment milk wateva your tribesmen do.while you are at it do please delete that pic coz tht shirt or wateva they call it is hideous.nktgrumpies!

      2. @Mag, SidekicK : why not? 16? at your rate of learnign hope you get to 200; Shirt: I fear you are not in my target market.

      3. Target market??did this negroid just say target market..how naw??grandpa vs a teen..more lyk EPHEBOPHILIA..and you could be jailed just for the thought of it.what u hv on is an eyesore…thats my take,its your sunday best… thing is.. stay off my stuff man.we are worlds apart!ya dig!case closed!

  72. You’ll also remember on that day in the future that when you wrote this one, it was May 16 which was only 5 days before May 21 A date that had been predicted as Doomsday. People really believed that the world was going to end on MAy 21.

    I live in Calgary Alberta and I work in the city council, on May 17 2011 a woman with a strange colour of eyes and stranger lashes gave me one of them The WatchTower magazine about the signs of the end of times. She was very serious that world would today. I thought she was crazy before I realized that was the trending topic…….the signs the magazine had are all too similar to what you wanna do when you get older Mr. K’naan…

    speaking of your mid age crisis-whose analogy has not changed for over 10 years I have known you-I think you watch too many Time Traveller comedy and you’re believing.

  73. I’ve read this more than once, great read i must say, i visualized n saw u in ur old age, saw ur dreams and hopes n more interestingly the fun twist on it that make it more like a fairytale :)….I want to live in a sexy white home on a hill where I can watch the sunset and get reminded of my mortality
    I smiled n giggled almost after every sentence, my best lines -I want to run every morning, eat loads of vegetables and still be able to have an erection without the help of a forklift.
    -I want to grow a white beard. I want to eat with my hands and love with my heart, not my groin.
    keep on dreaming n hoping Biko, i surely must start dreaming too…i love this 🙂

  74. Irrespective of who you are,you have to have dreams. When you stop dreaming then you might as well stop living. . . .coz we live to see our dreams come true,most of us.
    Thumbs up Biko!

  75. who was it that said without dreams and hopes we might as well be dead?

    Thanks for that poignant note that speaks eloquently what most of us think to ourselves…

  76. Awesome post, men are driven by dreams Biko and you are on point. I love the sunset and have never thought of it as a “reminder of ones mortality”. I have same dream to own a house in the upcountry with a balcony facing opposite of sunset where I will be listening the SunDowner if KBC will still be operating! Thank you for putting what we cant into readable and interesting stories.

  77. Lol… I just tried to translate the saying by Sultan to see how it sounds in swahili and see if I remember it from my awesome swa days….I used Google translate. it reads “Je, tutanyakuliwa pamoja leo, leo ni bure, haina jambo gani ni leo, au wewe ni nani leo. Hebu fikiri juu ya kesho itakuwa mwisho kwa ajili yenu, hayo ni yote kuna maisha, jinsi mwisho si jinsi ya kuanza.”

  78. When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
    With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
    And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
    And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
    I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
    And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
    And run my stick along the public railings
    And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
    I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
    And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
    And learn to spit.

    You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
    And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
    Or only bread and pickle for a week

    And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

    But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
    And pay our rent and not swear in the street
    And set a good example for the children.
    We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

    But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
    So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
    When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

    Jenny Joseph

  79. THIS will be a good piece to revisit in your seventies..heh heh especially if you have sons heh heh

  80. I am reading this at 2:40 am on a sunday morning well because am at work and it’s quite slow in here. I am encouraged by your words and your dreams. It is an eye opener for me in my early 20’s. I feel like you are mentoring me through your writings ‘incognito’ which I kinda love already.

  81. how do you therefore manage to command nostalgia from a living man for the very tenets of the life he lives? How do foil out such a masterpiece that links thoughts to the final oblivion… and at the same time connect the audience with the realities of the life they grapple to have.. when the sun sets?

    The challenge may be how do you manage to think on these lines that connect vanity to reality and build such a literary masterpiece

    I would also say this- that I share in your conclusion
    I want to die because I control not such destiny, but I want to die when not much is left for me to do; when what is left DOES NOT LEAVE ME EMPTY

    Thanks for this man

  82. ” I want to write for National Geographic, Vanity Fair, CNN Traveler or UK’s Sunday Times all which hopefully will require me to be away for a month, in a bush somewhere living on canned food and taking pictures of baboons and children with flies in their faces.” This article has really inspired me and taught me the art of dreaming.A man can dream.
    I admire your boldness and I wish you the very best in your dreams .

  83. I want to meet Biko wen am 30~somethingish…..i want to introduce my(Yet to come)twin sons to him en say,”He is the man who got me in trouble with my teachers for reading his blogs during class”.

  84. Do you go back to your old posts? This is fantastic. Reading this four years down, I see some of your dreams have come true. Well in. I discovered your blog this year and for the holidays I’m reading every post from 2010, and enjoying every bit. This is my first comment.

  85. Mmmmm…..hope Kim doesn’t stumble on this some day. Superb writing skills Biko! You really are deep! Damn!