The Pool Guy

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So you check into a hotel for a short holiday, right? If you are checking into a ritzy hotel like the Serena Zanzibar (incredible place!), a pleasant porter called Yusuf or Hussein, will grab your bags and lead you to your room while asking where you are from, (Malawi, you respond without blinking), and if it’s your first time in Zanzibar and he will tell you how to differentiate between a Zanzibar door inspired by the Arabs and one inspired by Indians. (One is square the other is dome-shaped….now you know).

He will slip a key attached to a wooden holder into your lock and step aside for you to walk in first (just in case there is a boobytrap). Then he will place your luggage on a low side table and show you around: This lights come on from this switch. (I can never find what switch lights what bulb normally, by the way). This is an AC just in case it gets too hot, just press this red button to switch it off and on. This is the bathroom and amenities. (Oh brilliant, what’s the hotel’s policy on standing on toilet seat?); and that is your hairdryer if…wait, I don’t think you will be needing that Mr. Biko. Hahaha. Yusuf, stop!

He will continue: Here we have a bowl of fruits courtesy of the hotel: (Are the fruits real or plastic?). This is the mini bar, you can have your soft drinks and alcohol from it, and this here is the price-list of the items. (Note to self: Do.Not.Touch. Minibar.)

You: Do you mind removing the minibar from the room, please?

Porter: Excuse me?

Yes, like remove it, take it away.

You mean like the whole fridge?

Yes, like the whole fridge.

I’m sorry, but we can’t.

Why, is it too heavy? It’s only a mini-fridge, I can help you carry it out if your back is bad.

Haha. My back is fine. It’s not the weight, it’s just that we are not allowed.

By who, hoteliers association?

Hehe. No, it’s… why don’t you want the mini-fridge in your room?

Because I will be tempted to drink all the wine and Vodka in there.

Haha.

No I’m serious. I will wake up at 2-am and feel miserable and drink everything.Don’t give me those eyes…you know that feeling; when you wake up in panic and all you want to do is sit in front of the mini-bar in your underwear and drink all the booze in those small pretty bottles?

Haha. No, Mr. Biko. That has never happened to me.

Not even once?!

No. I’m sorry.

Oh, don’t be. I just thought we had a connection there.

Haha. Look, I don’t know, maybe I can remove all the drinks in there instead?

Then you take them where? To someone’s minibar and increase his temptation threefold?

No, the store….maybe. I don’t know. I will ask housekeeping.

Um, Look, on second thoughts, don’t bother, leave the drinks there I need to practice some self control. Do you have a key?

A key?

To the mini-bar!

Oh, no. Sorry, the minibars don’t come with keys.

That’s odd, don’t you think?

That minibars don’t come with keys?

No, that elephants can’t hiccup, yes, that minibars don’t have keys.

Uhm, yes, it’s…it’s a bit odd, yes. (Odd look).

Next time you go shopping for a mini bar please get one with a key.

Uhm, why, sir?

So that you can lock all the drinks and all the temptations in there.

(Offers a very concerned look) Certainly Mr.Biko.

Just call me Biko. Did I tell you I’m SDA?

No. No. I don’t remember you mentioning that part. So you don’t eat meat?

Why not?

Because SDAs don’t eat meat.

Oh, I eat meat all right. I’m not that kind of SDA. I’m the kind of SDA that gets tempted by the minibar.

Haha.

Haha.

Anyway, Uhm, so here is our safe. You can keep all your valuables here.

I have always wondered about this safe biashara by the way. I have used the hotel safe about zero times in all my travels. Who uses the safe? Are there guys who travel with shitloads of cash, like 2 meter – and stuff it in the safe because where they come from they haven’t heard of VIsa? Or maybe it’s the rappers who use safes, kina sijui Octopizzo who have to keep their gold chains in the safe away from the beach boys. Or those very old wealthy women from some unknown oligarchy in Eastern Europe who come with expensive jewellery which they place there as one just doesn’t wear expensive baubles while one snorkels. Or maybe you travelled with your title deed for that ka plot in Kitengela. You figured you have worked so hard to buy that ka-plot the title deed deserves a holiday too, so you bring it to Diani and as you sip your cognac with ice (horror!), you get it out of the safe and you stare at it as you sit on your balcony because it makes life so much better. (By the way I predict that should the madness on social media hold for much longer, people will start Instagramming their title deeds very soon.)

The lovely porter is saying: And this complimentary bottle of wine is from the manager to welcome you to our fine establishment. You pick the bottle of wine and weigh it in your hands and pretend to read the label, nodding appreciatively. You know shit about wine but you pretend to know by taking ages reading the label as he looks outside at the sea and thinks how he will not miss this part of his job when he retires. Talking of wine, don’t you hate those people who take 20 hours reading the label when the waiter brings a bottle of wine swathed in a white napkin at dinner. The poor waiter stands there holding the bottle tilted with one hand behind his back as they nod and then comes the pretentious question to try and prove how much they know about wine: So was this a late harvest? Like you lived in France for 12-years.

You reluctantly place your complimentary wine back on the table as the the porter says, Breakfast is from 7.30am to 10.30am, dinner is from 7.30pm to 10pm, please enjoy your stay with us, Mr Biko and don’t hesitate to call us in case you need any assistance.

Note: Dear Nairobian middle-class, the decent thing to do at this point is to TIP the guy. Give him 500 bob, I’m sure it won’t create a crater in your budget. And it will mean a lot to him.

After he is gone, you will remove your shirt and pants and pick the envelope with the letter from the manager and you will instantly know the lazy hotels from the real deals. Lazy hotels will always address you as, “Dear Guest” and then print out this template letter that they have used since the hotel opened. The real hotels who actually care about you will take time off their very busy schedules to write your full names and even have the manager sign the letter at the bottom using a pen. Serena always writes my name. Then the manager, like Charles Mbuya, will sign it at the bottom in ink, and basically what that says is that this guy sat down and signed a few dozen of those letters because it matters to the hotel, because it’s important! The details are indeed where the devil lives.

Read that letter. It introduces you to the product. It tells you what you might want to do if you are at a beach or a bush property. The letter might say, Dear Mr Biko, after dark please don’t leave your room to go to the restaurant without an escort because there are buffalos roaming around. If you don’t read the darned letter you won’t know about the buffalos and when you leave your room after dark and you pass by a thicket and hear something cough and you assume it’s a Maasai and you tell it, “ero, sasa?” and the buffalo takes offense for being mistaken for Maasai and it charges, you will wish you read the letter. So read the damn letter, it’s like 200 words max.

After reading the letter you will walk to your balcony in your underwear and look out at sea. (I love beach properties, safaris are too mzungu for me.) There, you will think of something deep and unworldly which might unlock a nirvana of sorts. You will go back in, pass by the mini-fridge without making eye contact, and grab a bottle of water which you will open and take to your chair, back on the balcony, and watch saggy tourists amble by the beach, followed by dark ribbed chaps with darker nipples trying to sell them beads or a glass-boat excursion (oh wow, look, I can see the corals!) or sex or maybe if they’re lucky, weed. It’s a capitalist economy, whatever he is selling someone will buy. You will open your book and read or if you have company you will stare at her thighs and pretend you aren’t in a real hurry to get her naked. You must attempt to be a gentleman.

I don’t even know why I wrote that whole lengthy intro. But here is what I wanted to say in the first place.

When you visit a hotel you spend time in two places, the restaurant and the swimming pool…wait, by the way, I think us, Nairobians, have the worst swimming shorts in Eastern and Central Africa! Have you seen the dreadful fabric comedy by the swimming pools when you go on holiday? The level of chitzy swimwear men rock up with by the pool? I can write 5,000 words on Kenyan men’s choice of swimwear. (note to self)

I can understand why you would wear a swim trunk with a cartoon on it, or of swan or geese (what’s the difference?) or a picture of Mount Kenya, I really can, but I can’t understand why anyone would wear swimming shorts that go past their knees! Or those chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s licence?

However, I think it’s the fault of the women in their lives. Yes. You can’t lie there in a your hot two-piece while your man frolics in the baby pool with these ghastly shorts, scaring those poor kids and ruining them for life. It turns out that normally it’s these chaps who can’t swim; grown ass men in their late 30’s, elbowing kids in the baby pool with their Alibaba And The Forty Thieves shorts! Men who have floaters attached to their arms, coughing in the pool! Come on, guy, get out of that pool…and then get out of them shorts!

Where was I? Yeah, so in your time at a hotel, in all these places and during the time you interact with the waiters and waitresses and the barmen and the front desk guys and the porters and the towel guys and the people selling shit in the curio shops, you practically talk to everyone.

But have you noticed that nobody ever talks to the guy who cleans the pool?

Has anyone ever wondered how the pool guy feels about that? You see him late in the evening after 6pm, putting up the “pool closed” board (as he patiently waits for the grown men who can’t swim to come out of the shallow end) and he soundlessly pours his chemicals into the pool and stands there until dusk. The next morning, if you wake up really early to book a pool-bed, you will spot a shadowy figure, using that long-ass squeegee to clean the floor of the pool, and that machine to suck the dirt and the net to get the leaves floating on the surface. But you won’t see this because you will still be sleeping and by the time you finish with your breakfast and slip into your Geese-shorts, he will be gone, maybe taking on the different task of pruning the gardens. You will spend five days in a resort and you will never say hello to this guy. Nobody tips him. Nobody knows his name. He’s a shadow. A ghost.

Next time you are on holiday, walk up to a pool guy and ask them their name. Then watch how they beam when you ask them about their work; How does this pump work? How long have you been doing this? Oh you were a gardener before here? Do you enjoy it? Do you have kids, Abdalla? That’s a cool name. How do you Muslims name you kids? I have a boy too. Does yours climb everything? Has he hit his head so loudly you heard it through a closed door? No? Then your boy is a girl. Hahaha.

Spend five minutes with him. He will never forget you because people love talking about what they do and who they are. If he sees you the next day he will say hello with a big smile like you are buddies for life. He will reserve the best pool bed for you the next day and everyday after that until your holiday ends. When you meet him the next morning, you will address him by name because people love when you don’t forget their name: Hey Musa, how did you sleep? How is Abdalla, has be bumped his head yet? No? Shameful, just shameful! The pool looks dirty today, doesn’t it? By the way, Musa, I have wondered about this for so long; who do you think pees most in swimming pools? Indians or blacks?

Haha.

No, really, who?

I don’t know, really. Haha.

I’m sure you know, you just don’t want to tell me.

I don’t know, Biko, that’s a crazy question.

Is it? I imagine you get asked that a lot by your pals.

Haha. No!

Ok. What about Kikuyus and Luhyas?

Haha. Wacha utani Biko.

I think it’s Luhyas. All that tea.

But Kikuyus also drink lots of Tusker.

You are right, Musa. That’s a good point.

OK, Luhyas and Merus?

Merus.

I agree.

The next time you spot Musa walking through the reception, you will trot up to him and ask him, “OK, what about Nyeri men and Embu women?”

He will walk away laughing and other guests will look at you like, “How does he know that guy?” But you would have made his day because you just can’t believe how it’s the the very little things that make people happy. And they always remember how you made them feel. It’s a tragedy to meet people and not know a thing about them, just one thing. So ask someone how they are today, someone who doesn’t expect it.

It’s those little things that say you have acknowledged that they exist. And that makes them feel human.

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158 Comments
  1. I can understand why you would wear a swim trunk with a cartoon on it, or of swan or geese (what’s the difference?) or a picture of Mount Kenya, I really can, but I can’t understand why anyone would wear swimming shorts that go past their knees! Or those chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s licence?….#FUNNIEST

  2. Great piece, Biko. Funny (I have a boy too. Does yours climb everything? Has he hit his head so loudly you heard it through a closed door? No? Then your boy is a girl. Hahaha.)
    but deep at the same time.

  3. I really don’t know why I teared up on imagining how the pool guy would walk away with that beaming smile…making others feel acknowledged makes YOU feel even more acknowledged

  4. i like the human touch in your experiences.i bet you are the one guy who chatted him for a long time.did he by the way tell you what was the hotel policy on standing up for ovation in the toilet?

  5. people will start Instagramming their title deeds very soon. And the mini bar conversation i am a victim lol..

  6. Haha Biko. My friend and I spoke to the support staff once, while we were on holiday in Mombasa, we had the time of our lives. Man kwanza at breakfast, the chefs would out do themselves. Then one of them sneaked an idea to us about eating pawpaw. Man full board has never made more sense

  7. ‘And of the chaps who wear swimming shorts with side pockets;what are you carrying in there,your laminated driver’s licence?’a KILLER line.

    1. Good piece. @Sandra, yes very true, people remember how you made them feel.I stand corrected, I believe it’s always best to be remembered for making people feeling good.

  8. You sure do like walking around in your boxers being nice is very good. Though there are people who take advantage of your being nice and start asking for money, you give them and they come back again and again and again.

  9. *When i was young* i once made that mistake of partaking from the Mini Bar, the bill that came through was enough for me to buy a ka-plot in Kitengela and carry along the title deed on the next holiday.

  10. Ah! Biko Zulu!! You will kill me and bury me! I mean! Buffaloes and Maasais!! #hilarious! Wonder how Mama Tamm survives! Now that I can finally pumua – your writing is IT! Ero kamano (how do you say brother in law in kijaka?).

  11. Love the post. Hilarious as usual.. I think generally ,Kenyans especially the middle class tend to be a bit snobbish on holiday. People don’t realize the more polite you are to the hotel staff the better the service. Plus courtesy is free!!
    AS FOR THE SWIM WEAR…WAAAAH …I’d rather see a man in those hideous alibaba shorts than those tiny briefs. Especially if you are above 8!!!I cant..Id lock my man up if he showed up with those #cringe!

  12. This is up there with the very best. If this doesn’t tickle your bone, consider yourself dead in and out. And the poor pool guy – never seen him before. Gotta look him up next time.

  13. Nice read, as always Biko. But honestly…Who pees in the pool more? And why is it always a pool guy and not a pool girl? What a man can do… *exits the room*

  14. Or those chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s licence?…… Lol! This one left me in stiches.

  15. but I can’t understand why anyone would wear swimming shorts that go past their knees! Or those chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s licence?#dead#

  16. ”.and the buffalo takes offense for being mistaken for Maasai and it charges..” , hehe. Real creativity.

  17. ….hahaha! Totally nailed it. A rib cracker. Thanks for the bit about the pool guy – I’m at the coast on holiday and will remember this as I bimble to the pool kesho.

  18. The lovely porter is saying: And this complimentary bottle of wine is from the manager to welcome you to our fine establishment. You pick the bottle of wine and weigh it in your hands and pretend to read the label, nodding appreciatively. You know shit about wine but you pretend to know by taking ages reading the label as he looks outside at the sea and thinks how he will not miss this part of his job when he retires. Talking of wine, don’t you hate those people who take 20 hours reading the label when the waiter brings a bottle of wine swathed in a white napkin at dinner.

    I actually usually greet the pool guy

  19. As a hotelier can tell you this piece is great. Always talk nicely to the support staff, see beyond your waiter, receptionist or the manager. Make a point to see the person cleaning your room, ask if you can have a tour of the kitchen (they will give you the time when it is not messy). Ask for the cook who did the dish you liked most and engage him in a conversation about it. Believe me the service will get that much better, your experience will improve and you get the bonus of knowing a bit more on wines than Late Harvest, Sweet or Dry, Red or White.

    1. Oh and leave a tip and a thank you note for the room guy.. Participate in any games the animators are trying to ask you to, they really do appreciate it when you do. If called out to dance by the Traditional Dancers be a sport!
      As an aside, please do not go into the sea trousers folded to the knee with a tshirt and phone calling Mwaura in Nairobi and saying “Guess pale niko boss” The locals hate it.

  20. Always a great read! ” …it’s these chaps who can’t swim; grown ass men in their late 30’s, elbowing kids in the baby pool with their Alibaba And The Forty Thieves shorts! Hehehehe

  21. Biko, it appears humanity has lost its gentle and generous face. However, there are those keen kindred like yourself whose attention to the least acknowledged gives them that hope and smile to move on.
    This is a nice piece. It really summarises the law of the sea, “Be good and do good.”

  22. There are a lot of ‘pool guys’ out there depending on which industry you are in.The bottom is line to identify them and appreciate them.True:people never forget how you make them feel.Great piece as always.

  23. “……or those chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s licence?……hahaha same thing i was wondering . ….

    an awesome piece

  24. On that tip note, the other day I gave a waiter a tip and he awed me by his response, he said “I did not do this with a tip in mind, but I will not insult your generosity by refusing, so thank you.” I think he was luo as his tag had only one name- Chris.
    Most of these chaps are well schooled, don’t look down upon them.

    As always Biko, it was a nice read.

  25. Lolest!!!!Really Biko? Meru? Totally take offense. “we are being targeted” we’ll come after you… With pangas’…

  26. I wanna make a confession here, I have never been to a hotel with a mini bar. I should start spending my money! that said, I will start saying hi to the gateman! 🙂

  27. Need to review hotels that are good for families. ….kids and baby sitting services. To date Voyager ranks highest

  28. I too think it’s kuyos and luhyas that pee most…hehe. Tea n brew… Someone should introduce brewed tea, you know like iced tea.

  29. Biko, you are crazy! Normal people do not think like you do! Aki eti “your boy is a girl” You are maaaad!

  30. It’s a tragedy to meet people and not know a thing about them, just one thing
    I love that sentence. Nice chilled out read. Thanks Biko!

  31. Or maybe you travelled with your title deed for that ka plot in Kitengela. You figured you have worked so hard to buy that ka-plot the title deed deserves a holiday too, so you bring it to Diani and as you sip your cognac with ice (horror!), you get it out of the safe and you stare at it as you sit on your balcony because it makes life so much better. funny!!

  32. Entertaining, hilarious and inciting. I enjoyed every single bit. Esp…your boy is a girl….n saying ero sasa to a buffalo. Thx for making my morning

  33. Epic! I love the soul you put in this piece. Great work. When is the book coming out? If a certain writer whose last name rhymes with eel has the nerve to continue writing her terrible books, muster the courage to grace us with a great tome.

  34. I swear your blog is therapeutic!!! Thank you for the laughter and for the tips to identify which swimming pools to stay away from 🙂

  35. Hapo kwa title deed will be so me in a few years..great read
    that is odd don’t you think?
    That the mini bar does not come with keys?
    No, thhat elephants can’t hiccup, yes, that minibars don’t come with keys.

  36. Deep. A lesson in making everyone feel like a human being. Goes the same for watchmen, cleaners, tea girls etc. I will sure make an effort to know the name of the lady who cleans the toilets in my building. I usually say hi but know I know that is not enough.

    1. Yeah, you appreciate these guys more with every bone in your body, when you spend years in a cold unfeeling country, and you have to cook for yourself, clean your house, take care of your kid with no ayah or maid to help…you land in Kenya and feel a mixture of shock and rage when you see how these folks are treated!

  37. Waaaah…don’t remind me about the mini-bar. My trip to Siem Reap, Cambodia..was in a 4-star pretty okay hotel, went through the soft drinks, chocolates and snacks..and was charged for the items as I was leaving. Thankfully, I am not a fan of hard liqueur so I left the beers and wines untouched. And thankfully it’s pretty cheap to travel around Asia than it is around Africa..so I just felt embarrassed but could manage to pay. Yeah..no eye contact with minibars since then,,:-)

  38. I like that the non use of quotations has turned out so nicely for you, it gives the story a sense of flow. Fits in seamlessly. Now was that an intro or the whole story? Digress much? The buffalo taking offence though, that is gold hahaha

  39. To the gang,it will cost you nothing to stop and spend a minute or two with subordinate support staff. Suprisingly you might be amazed by level of information they know about the institution, business,politics in the office,sports etc… Finaly get his or her name and sum it up with a warm firm hand shake.

  40. Great Piece.and yes it does make a guy feel great when you show interest in what he/she does genuine interest not feigned.
    I feel this piece lacked ‘oomph’ a bit bland.

  41. ….Or maybe you travelled with your title deed for that ka plot in Kitengela. You figured you have worked so hard to buy that ka-plot the title deed deserves a holiday too, so you bring it to Diani and as you sip your cognac with ice (horror!), you get it out of the safe and you stare at it as you sit on your balcony because it makes life so much better. (By the way I predict that should the madness on social media hold for much longer, people will start Instagramming their title deeds very soon.)….. #dead.
    I stopped reading your blogs in the office because colleagues can’t understand why am in tears… laughing myself off till my ribs are stiff painful… Awesome writing!

  42. Elephants don’t hiccup huh? It’s so true how these people who mostly go un-noticed light up when you recognize their presence and I think it says so much about a person if they make that effort. Good laugh though. Your boy alright? You know after bumping his head in the other room, lol.

  43. Hilarious! Biko, are you one of those people who wake up very early to book pool beds? I thought it was a reserve for the Germans, hehehe… okay.
    We need a book Biko, see what you can do, please.

  44. Just got back from vacation this morning and this piece rings true.The pool guy in my case doubled up as the life guard in a certain hotel and he ended up being my swimming instructor at adulthood. I happily succumbed to the temptation of the white wine in the mini bar and requested for it to be restocked because I did not remember to buy from duty free (we should indulge at times without checking the price tag:)) And this morning as the porter guy picked up my bags from the room all the way to the trunk of the rental car (first time I experience this by the way, did not know they not only drop off your bags on arrival, but can also pick them up at departure) I happily remembered to give a tip:)

    1. In my line of duty I normally arrive the hotels dead tired and am lazy to read the welcome letter that also has information on the basic things. The buffalo being mistaken for a Maasai and charging was the funniest part in this piece for me. One day I woke up in China and dressed up to go to the gym at 4am when the welcome letter clearly stated that the gym closed at 11pm only to open at 6. This among others have always landed me in trouble and I now read those letters

    2. In my line of duty I normally arrive the hotels dead tired and am lazy to read the welcome letter that also has information on the basic things. The buffalo being mistaken for a Maasai and charging was the funniest part in this piece for me. One day I woke up in China and dressed up to go to the gym at 4am when the welcome letter clearly stated that the gym closed at 11pm only to open at 6am. This among other incidents have always landed me in trouble and I now read those letters!

  45. This is awesome, I have to add that interacting with random people has of late left me feeling more pleased with myself.
    Then about who pees more in the pool, I’d pick 254 over 256. Most Ugandans can’t swim, all they do is wade through shores of Victoria and appear in tabloids on Monday morning with captions like “crocodile devours antelope” (for a pot bellied dude gasping for breath in company of a lassie)

    Wonderful read though Biko.

  46. ..”and then comes the pretentious question to try and prove how much they know about wine:So was this a late harvest? Like you lived in France for 12-years.” *Falls off seat* How could you Biko!!

  47. Great piece,Brother Biko.I love your ascetic thinking. People always stereotypes Adventists as ‘wale watu hawakuli nyama’. However, it goes beyond that. It’s about inquiry of deep things of life and simple life Christ leveraged for the human race. Fear of the lord and having great hope of a time that will come when Buffaloes shall live in peace and joy with humanity is the key to understanding letters Christ authored to us. It’s all about getting that book which inspires and thrills you. It’s about humour,wit,inquiry and joy that comes from loving one another.That is adventism or i should say Bikoism. Keep reading,traveling and writing,Bingo!

  48. I enjoyed the piece. Btw Biko I use the safe thingy for storing my LAPTOP. I actually discovered most are sized just perfectly to fit your laptop in there 🙂

  49. “It’s those little things that say you have
    acknowledged that they exist. And that
    makes them feel human.”
    strong finishing and very true

  50. Hehehe…I thought the safe was for keeping valuables? No need to tempt the hotel staff. Out of sight, out of theft

  51. Apart from keeping your valuables,I think Firearms are required to be kept in safes either in the office or at home.

  52. chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s licence?————Got me rolling!

  53. I’m not yet well into the middle class so I don’t go on holidays. h
    However I understand the beneffits of tipping; the watchmen at my work place literally fly to my desk when they hear i want to get something from the shop. Even when I am approaching the gate from from a stretch away (no I dont have a car, I walk by foot) more often than not the gate is usually wide open with a compmlimentary face brimming with smile beside it. Not that I give them a lot- sometimes i tip as low as 10 bob abd even then not everyday. In fact I think it’s more about the genuine interest I show when greeting or having a once in a while chat with these lads. But tips are also very important in such relastions

  54. bored at the office and decided to re-read this post.laughed as hard as the first time.”Or those chaps who wear swimming shorts with side-pockets; what are you carrying in there, your laminated driver’s license?”
    There’s never a dull moment!!

  55. Hilarious article, but what i love most are the questions asked by biko to all these workers. Biko…seriously… have you
    ever asked them or is this just your genius in action? LOL

  56. a grown up in baby pool..eeeh wow!!the pool guy story has jst changed my story.Biko you have taught me something .always thumbs up