Yellow Light

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Even before my feet are on the floor I feel like the day has already won. I wake up already defeated. I can’t bunch a fist to punch the day in the gut- which is where one should always punch the day. I linger in bed for too long. I feel like I’m in my final trimester. When I shuffle to the bathroom for my obligatory morning leak I do it seated. Seated! I often sigh. My reaction is slower. I can’t slap a dead mosquito. I get distracted more easily by things. I have no taste for exercise. When I sit at the kitchen table, sipping my tea, I place my head in my hand, mournfully. When I sit at my desk to write I just stare at the screen with deadeyes, my mind scumbling from my body. Never mind that I had a ton of deadlines. When I  finally muster some courage, I write sentences with weak cores so they double over like dying plants. I stare out the window for long stretches. My doctor friend – Dr Nyokabi – said, ‘Get this herbal supplement called Ashwagandha it will boost you.’ I bought it yesterday. Apparently, it increases metabolism, reduces cholesterol, improves blood sugar and vitality. The capsule is the size of a bullet. You could say I bit the bullet. 

I’ve had a hectic November full of travels and it has sapped everything in my bones. My fuel gauge has turned yellow and I’m just limbering along like a marathoner on a homestretch. I had the last story to run today but I couldn’t write it without doing it great disservice. So I didn’t. 

Next Tuesday will be closing day here, so you can come in your home clothes. There will be an assembly at 10:15 sharp. I will open the comments to your questions about whatever you have wanted me to respond to the whole year. And I will respond to each one of them. Then we will sing the national anthem. Then we shall go home until next year. 

For now, allow me to slither off and go bask in the weak sunlight outside. 

And – unrelated to this – you will be happy to learn that even though my bones are weary, my potted plant thrives. It helps that it’s a cactus. 

Stay hydrated, Gang. And take care of those knees. 

See you on closing day. 

 

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95 Comments
  1. Lakini Chocolate man unatutesanga saa zingine.
    Sawa tu. Bora uhai.
    Closing day then there better be prize giving for the sake of the first to comment chaps.

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  2. Oh Biko (woishe face)
    I wanted to complain and say that lately you’ve been posting late and making us wait but I won’t cos surely who even complains to a man who is so tired he takes his leak seated?
    Please rest. We appreciate the work you do. Posting every week all year round. I hope that that thing whose name I can’t pronounce that was recommended by your doctor friend works.

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  3. That fatigue, only a freelancer consultant can understand.

    Its the result of bigshots in air conditioned offices dictating that consultants must deliver 200% worth of work within 20% time that it would take a normal human being,

    Only that the Bank Account gets a smile.

    Let’s meet on closing day.

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      1. Sure.

        Its very relieving when you deliver a big assignment. The cash is very fulfilling.

        You get to spend some free days resting and getting personal projects done.

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  4. Dear Biko,

    Many thanks for the inspirational stories. what we readers wish for is a follow up on your many stories , similar to the follow up in respect to the fake Army dude, we wish to know what became of the characters in your past stories.

    My interest is on that lady who was a perfect mother and wife only for the husband to discover the last born was not his child , and the wife was getting fees from the other man. am sure you can recall the story . whats happening to the couple since separation ?

    maybe the dude forgave her ? maybe not

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    1. Yes, yes, that one and the other one about the man who had a child with another woman, but the wife did not know. He wanted to know how to tell her because it was eating him up!

      Whatever happened with them?

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    2. This would be interesting to read! Please do something Biko.
      Maybe the first person to comment on closing day can air our grievances (read request) haha

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  5. Aswaghanda… What should we think of it after this! Did you use all your improved metabolism overnight to wrestle Delilah?

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  6. Biko,

    It has been a journey, with every letter, word, abbreviation, sentence, line and paragraph shaping the footsteps. We are grateful as the recipients of this content all this time.

    With the power conferred upon you as the principal of this institution, who are we to say no to the announced CLOSING DAY of Biko High School?

    Prepare our homework and the prizes as we ready our “home clothes” for the ceremony.

    Gracias.

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  7. Eish! Get some rest champ. Refuel. Next Tuesday Inshallah.

    * I must ‘ close’ with someone on closing day

    If you know, you know!

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  8. Doing 18/6 Intermittent Fasting, 7-8hrs of sleep, eat fatty meat, eggs, bone broth, cruciferous veges, basking and exercises will help with your condition. Anything claiming to reduce cholesterol(more so a pill) is counter-productive as the liver produces upto 70% of the body’s daily cholesterol needs, if you deny it from the diet. It’s that essential.

    Our most important hormones are synthesized from cholesterol e.g Testosterone(gives you the drive, aggression, libido etc). You really don’t need to be reducing cholesterol.
    Thanks for your great stories and hope you feel better.

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  9. So now what happens to the first to come gang when they discover there is no story, just asking
    Take a rest. My ex almost choked me for teaching my son to pee while seated. Thank you for validating this,

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  10. I can feel the burnout and fatigue. You write beautifully Biko. Take care of you….rest and recharge. I shall be here for the closing day.

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  11. Remember to carry your hymn books. The adjournment crescendos of “Till we meet” will have to fill the air. Come with some chocolates for the ladies too just as they plan to take a break on chocolate man.

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  12. Ashwagandha actually works. I was struggling with low energy levels, low libido, feeling overwhelmed and mental fogginess. As i was looking for an appropriate supplement on google i came across Ashwagandha and maca root. Truly, truly i tell you, i feel like a new person. The things i can get done in a day are surprising to many.

  13. I feel you Biko, FYI – You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm…that phrase has been very liberating to me these last few weeks. You write beautifully, you give it your all, at the end of each read, I feel like you have left your soul in the piece. See you on closing day. Thank you for gifting us such great articles in 2021. Cheers!

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  14. Ashwagandha hii supplement inapatikana wapi? I wake up energized, giddy, hungry, eager every morning..bang out pushups and cold shower becoz am crazy pole and feel better ni fatigue tu Mkuu.

  15. ‘Everyone’ (content creators especially) is shutting down, while I’m just waking up like the proverbial polar bear that has opened one eyelid after the other, after months of hibernation.
    After consuming the whole year, it’s time to shake off the belly fat and begin to churn content.
    Next Tuesday, in home clothes it is. I wonder if Eddy Ashioya is also closing for vacay. Last I heard, he was receiving herbal concotions from a boda guy who wasn’t laughing at his jokes. The no-nonsense chap was touting stuff to ‘clean one’s blood’ and Eddy wondered aloud about the demand for ‘clean blood.’ Like there were ‘vegan vampires’ on the loose. Anyway, we’ll be following his insta to find out.
    #chinedutales

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  16. Maybe you are in your last trimester Biko, about to deliver something new and big. For now just rest and read a big book while you sip some white uji. It replaces energy fast . Tuesday, I will wear my uniform, just to be the odd one out!

  17. Burn out is very real this time of year. Take a break Biko, you deserve it. Looking forward to closing day.

  18. I love that you always refer to us as Gang, I feel so included! Also, i so look forward. Don’t feel so mournful Biko, you’re a gem (not like gems shouldn’t feel down sometimes) maybe what I’m trying to say is I love you for still doing this for us. Catch ya when I catch ya.

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  19. Chocolate man is behaving like a chemistry high school teacher. Towards the end of the term, juu amemaliza syllabus he gives stories unrelated to chem in the last lesson. Okay. See you kwa assembly. Make sure to comment about form threes unruly behaviour since they are the defacto form fours.

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  20. I can’t bunch a fist to punch the day ….. I had already started saying you’ve written wrong, then I read it again. Brilliant!!!
    Hope you get to Enjoy some much needed rest.

  21. Biko yake care of yourself. Lots of sunshine will indeed do you good.

    If it is possible could you do a follow up to the kidnapped kid story. I’m still curious about the lady who took her.

    And how is the kidney guy faring? Did he get a match.

    Take care.

  22. Wala! and the way I was curious to continue with the reading.

    Are we allowed to wear short shorts next Tuesday?

    Thank you

  23. see you on closing day and please bring a prize for first commenters the pressure hey undergo to be number one is hilarious .Waletee hata kama ni pencil ya Hb because peer pressure is real

  24. Either way, I love your impressiveness and anything in between. I wish you a quick recovery as I plan to attend your #AzimioLaKufungaShule on Super Tuesday.

  25. Closing day it is! Looking forward to seeing people in their home clothes…save the Christmas ones for Christmas..please. Thanks Biko for a great 2021. Loading more stories to share……Follow doctari’s advice too. Who will be closing with who? Share this so as to minimize ‘multiple closeouts’.

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  26. Wow what a journey 2021 has been in this blog. Thanks Biko and your support system for the wonderful readings we have had and for your consistency. Wishing you a full recovery, and new energy for 2022. Blessings y’all!

    1
    1. Not yet. We got a granary-full of submissions. We will finish going through them early in the year when this project starts kicking off.

  27. Aki I am coming… The headteacher has said home clothes…damn wait you… I haven’t achieved anything in life at 37…you think I have a chance with life Biko… and the lest or is it rest of my classmates… Write to me [email protected]