I started this blog out of boredom but it’s grown in ways that has surprised me. It’s acquired a life of its own. And I love it because nobody edits me here; nobody messes up with my intros , well, except Zacxs (see below). Nobody bleeps the word “shit” here. I ran this shit. See?

Writing a blog is a different ball game though because you largely write for a faceless readership. It’s a lonely expedition, and maybe that’s a good thing. But still I can’t help but to liken writing a blog to a confession where you sit in a box and pour your heart to a faceless priest. But I know that someone is out there reading, someone faceless…a ghost. I, like any blogger, loves stats because stats don’t care for your ego, stats will tell you if you are talking (writing) to yourself. Stats tell me which stories strike a chord. Stats tell me which stories are being pulled out of the archives. But if my stats tell me a bit of the activity on this blog it’s the comments that really bring me a tad closer in interacting with you, dear, reader. It’s the comments that tell me that I’m not talking to myself. That I’m not stuck alone in some island, literary island, sending bottled messages to oblivion.

I don’t know a great deal of people who comment here, I know perhaps a paltry 30%. The rest are people who are only pseudonyms. I have always wondered, just from your comments, who the commenter is; their sex, profession, tastes, marital statuses, habits like whether they would drink beer through a straw or they pee in the swimming pool. Interesting stuff. I mull over this trivia.

This is the 8th month since I started this farce, and through that time I have had the pleasure of getting many new readers, thanks to all your tweets and Facebook referrals (again stats come in handy). But through this short journey there are readers who have always been here, reading and commenting, familiar “faces” if you will. Readers who have been consistent in passing by here even if they were disappointed the last time. People who have faith in me. I know this might start sounding like some saucy Mexican, English miming soap, but I promise it’s not.

I want to pay attribute to some of these people on this particular post. I want to say that I’m grateful. But most importantly I want to profile them; I want to write about what I think of them, what I imagine them to be like. I know I will miss the boat, but I still want to do it because I have to post something darn it.

I won’t be able to profile everyone, but I will the next time I pay tribute. And so here is to you dear commenter. This is my idea of ass kissing!


This is the very first person to comment on my blog when I posted the first piece sometime in Feb. I don’t know her. But I know it’s a chick because on her comment is the picture of the back of her head; very long hair. I suppose she is 5’6’’, chocolate and chirpy. She sounded like a reader. I haven’t seen any of her comments lately, I suspect I bored her. What does a man need to do in this town to keep a woman? Anyway, Sibbie runs this blog But thing is it’s not for everyone, it’s a protected blog which means she decides who reads it. I’m still on the waiting list.


There are cool guys and then there are nice guys. A cool guy wears Issey Miyake, drinks Grey Goose and tells females, “If you aren’t doing anything particular this Saturday you could swing over to mine for some polite drinks and a back rub. Plus I have a killer Youssou N’Dour album that will knock you out cold. But if you are doing something particular, why don’t you cancel them and allow me to make your while?”

A nice guy on the other hand is a guy who believes in animal rights. A guy who will dig you out of a hole. Assenga is a nice guy. Met in campus. He was Tanzanian but he could as well been Kenyan, which is to say he could speak English. Fun loving, funny and very easy. He is in the states now and going from his Facebook updates has found the lord. Chief, what’s going on?

Mrs. Mwiti.

When someone comments on your blog and signs off as Mrs. Mwiti, you take notice. I have never met Mrs. Mwiti, but she sounds very serious. She sounds like someone who reads in bed with her reading glasses hanging from the tip of her nose. It’s readers like Mrs. Mwiti that make me taper down my language here. Out of respect.

Gay Nairobi Man

How do I say this? First off, I’m as straight as a Zulu spear. When I wrote the post “Say Cheese”, this guy crawled out of the woodwork because I wrote something about men wearing skinny jeans and walking their poodles. Now one of my pals who follow my blog called me as soon as his comment hit the blog.

“Boss, what the f%$#! Who is that?”

“A gay guy, I suppose.” I said.

“I know it’s a gay guy, but do you know him?”

“No, I don’t.”

“What are you gonna do with that comment?”

“Why? It’s not a gay comment is it? It just happens to have been written by a gay guy.”

“Jeeesus… I don’t know man.” Nervous laughter, “Gay guys read ya blog now…maaan!”

“Do you think I should be worried that politicians will soon join in?”

Here is the thing. I know only one gay guy. He doesn’t know I know he is gay, but this is Nairobi, word goes round. We don’t meet for drinks because to be honest with you I don’t think I can keep a straight face at the skinny jeans he wears and how girlie he laughs. But once in a while when he is online on Facebook we chat because he is outrageous and vain plus I like to look at his album and ogle at all those hot, very hot chicks he hangs out with, chicks he tells me he showers with. Bastard. But this guy who commented is not him. But so what if a gay guy liked my blog, it’s not like he commented on my ass!


Another reader I haven’t met. It’s amazing, I wrote a story about a guy leaping over a fire in Lewa and she happened to be there! Tets sounds like someone who knows many Indians. Or should I say Asians to be politically correct? Tets sounds like someone who drinks Smirnoff Ice and dates a guy who works in a bank. I’m just saying.


Another reader I haven’t met. Style sounds chatty. Style reckons my stories are too long which means Style doesn’t have much time on her hands. I think Style works those graveyard shifts and the only time she has is for sleeping, watching the tube or reading stuff…short stuff.


We used to work together in Gigiri a long time ago. Back then she thought I was a self suffering snob. But I bought her a drink and changed her mind; she now thinks I’m an insufferable snob. I recently- after like 3yrs – ran into her at the ATM machine in ABC place. “You have lost some weight Biko, the paunch went.” she teased. “Well,” I told her “weight is not the only thing I lost honey; I also lost my job.” She laughed hard (people will always laugh at you when you lose your job) She told me she was now working in Sudan and she looked happier not because she is now engaged but because she is at a good place. Her man stepped out the ATM booth and as she introduced us and this guy nearly crushed every bone in my hand. He shook my hand in a way that said, “Don’t even think about it buddy!”

Red Velvet

Never met Red Velvet. I know she is a chick because she uses a lot of smiley in her comments, that plus she writes, and I quote, “…very funny, just cleared my morning blues. What would I do without Biko’s blog? J” Anybody who loves my blog is a friend of mine.

James Murua.

I was writing for a men’s magazine. I was doing a story on strip clubs which was really about getting wasted while sampling the strip joints in Nairobi, getting lap dances and looking at half naked women writhe and gyrate, all these on the tab of the magazine (you still wonder why I’m sore the magazine closed down?). I met James Murua for the first time in some real seedy strip club down town called Apple Bees (yes, I’m telling James). I was interviewing the owner of the club when he stopped by our table. He was writing for The Star (still is), running a column about Nairobi living (check it out: ) After that meeting I kept running into him at cocktail shindigs, this guy was everywhere. We became friends, brought together by voyeurism and booze.

Cold Turkey

Never met this Turkey before.  But I read her blog once in a while. She is a mother, she loves travelling, photography and life. One of her blog stories stand out, a touching love story on how she met her husband (a writer) and how he ended up in jail. Beautifully written. I loved that story so much that I bookmarked her blog. Check out her blog:


This is the missus’s best friend. My lil’ girl’s godmother. I can’t make fun of Karuu simply because I know which side of my toast is buttered.  Karuu being the kuyu that she is, is down in Kigali chasing the penny. She tried getting a few Rwandese to read my blog but they didn’t get it…well neither do I.  But thanks Karuu.


I know August. A media girl. Insists on calling me Jackson even though I hate it. She is one of my biggest fans but the other day she called me and said, “I didn’t feel your latest post abandoned, I didn’t love it, neither did I hate it.”

I hung up on her.

Ok, I didn’t. I appreciated her honest; it takes a big person to tell you they don’t like something about you. Thanks August, I hope you sleep better now.


I have never met her before. Our friendship is the new kind of friendship; Facebook friends. Like submarine she pops up online once in a while, and teaches me a new lingo. Best bit of all she pushes my blog like its’ cocaine. I’m grateful.


When some readers were expressing their disgust at the Knicker post, when they had their daggers out and were coming for my jugular, she stood up for me. She told them that every woman loves her knickers being taken off; she told them to chill out. Janet, I owe you more than a drink, I owe you two strong drinks.


Making appearances

First time I saw this guy was in a political science class in Uni. He walked in late, shirt tails hanging out, a stubble on his chin and an arrogant smirk on his face. He sat at the back of the lecture hall. He always sat at the back. He liked long winded debates because he was well conversed in the politics of the world. He got a kick from being obstinate. How do I say this; Kagame was a first class prick. Still is. He didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone and he would throw you under the bus without a thought.

He thrived in controversy but he was an excellent writer and together we edited the campus rag and had a swell time doing it. One day, in our second year, Kagame gave me a book to read, Mario Puzo’s Fools Die, a book defined our friendship because it spoke acutely to our lives. I have read it three times. We got along like a house in fire because we were both hungry and there was little we wouldn’t do to stay afloat. Ethics was a luxury in our neck of woods. This is one guy who knows where all the bodies are buried.

After campus he went back home in Rwanda, before long he was in Arusha. Last time I saw him he was passing through Nairobi with a tall British girl who obviously thought he was a small god. A year later I received an email from him saying he was in Canary, Canada. True to the script he had bullshited his way there and I remember smiling to myself and saying, “Atta boy!”

Check out his blog:


A name so delicious you wonna reach for Ketchup. Never met her before but I know she is a poet, and what’s there not to like about a poet? Check out her blog:


There are readers who dock here and read something and feel compelled to write a comment without leaving a name or address because they are afraid I will stalk them through their emails. They are people who are on the run, people who are scared of their shadows and (ironically) prefer to remain in the shadows.


Here is the thing with TV reporters, they demand attention. They imagine everybody knows them and if you don’t know them then you are shady. Not Shiro. Shiro is all right. We met in the deep moldy, cold woods of Kakamega forest where we were both sniffing for stories. Next day in Eldoret, as the clock chimed midnight we –together with a bunch of other hounds – knocked back tequilas in a club and shot pool. She won, constantly. A ferocious reader and witty as Whoopi Goldberg- but much prettier of course. By the way, happy belated birthday Shiro.


A new reader of my blog. Zaxs makes this cut because Zaxs commented that he had a problem with how I write. He said I repeat my words, that my words are clumped together like sardines. In essence he said he wanted me to let my sentences breath. He was also kind enough to re-write one of my intros. “This is how it should have read,” he said. And I listened. I took notes. Zaxs, I love your chutzpah and for that I shall invite you to be my co-author.

Richter scale 8.0

I like this pseudonym because it’s confident. Confidence is sexy. But going by the comments I want to imagine that this reader is a chick and not some guy feeling like Blair Underwood over here.

Martin Keino.

Allow me to name drop just this once. I interviewed the legendary Kipchoge Keino for a piece I was writing in 2006. He was gracious and he was deep. A year later, I interviewed his son, Martin, an athlete himself. Recently I ran into him at Galileo lounge at 1am (Martin, not Kipchoge). I was sort of knackered so I might have mentioned my blog to him. I might have mentioned my cousin in jail. I might have mentioned my grandpa who fought in world war. Look, it was 1am, anything goes.

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  1. well, am not much of a commentor…more of a reader.
    But i gotta thank you for the blogs you have supplied. so that when you have a writer’s block,or wateva u choose to blame, I have something to fall back on…(I do not forgive you btw…its a “grrr” moment when i check your blog 5 days in a row and dont find anything new:))

    Now those blogs better measure up to yours:)

  2. I can’t believe there’s someone who finds your stories too long, I think they are too short…..I wish they could go on and on and on but maybe that’s the beauty.
    Who drinks beer through a straw????

  3. A friend recently introduced me to your blogs and I loved them. I consumed them for many days and nights straight, and was now beginning to suffer withdrawal symptoms for lack of a new fix… so thanks for putting up the tribute today.

    Thanks for your funny stories… and for sharing your life. One day I know we shall meet, and I shall confess to being hooked.

    **ps… if you are going to profile me… I already beat you to it. But nothing I come up with seems to encompass all of you.

  4. Actually, i was just about to comment on how long the stories still are. You see, normally i peruse through to see the length of a piece and gauge whether or not i’ll be able to read it. So when i saw this, ai, i sighed. Until i saw my name somewhere. And even then, i didn’t finish reading the whole thing. anyhoo, just do your thing the best way you know how. Some of us will fall short but we don’t mind.

    Btw, there are some pple i’ve met. Not “met” as in “met”. Like, literally, but ‘met’, in the blogging world. You can somehow tell who’s who.

  5. First up, thanks for the props. I enjoy good writing and you my friend and way up there- near Ngugi wa Thiongo but not next to him. I was lurking and never commenting until “Say Cheese’.

    As for your friend calling you about my comment- where does he live? We( gay kenyans) exist and can read too. I like your response to him although I wonder what a gay comment would be.

    Keep up the good work and I hope you don’t mind me linking back on my blog

  6. Typos galore..sorry.

    I meant ‘I enjoy good writing and you my friend, ARE way up there- near Ngugi wa Thiongo but not next to him’

  7. lol, mmmh juz so you know Biko i was not laughing coz you lost your job, it was just the memories of Gigiri kept playing in my head, if you told me you lost a leg and they hooked you up with a wooden one i’d have still chuckled ….i know you don’t need a job to be a writer but you might need to be a writer to get a writing job….but i feel your pain and still dream of “the ressurection of Adam” keep going my guy..

  8. Interesting how you make my life that much more interesting. It would be strange to say thanks though. “Where would my life be without your blog”. Probably not darting my eyes back and forth at the boss’ door!

  9. iv been reading this blog since like may… love every post… im one of those anonymous people… great blog =) and the whole acknowledging your readers thing is a really cool thing. big up…

  10. You did an awesome thing in acknowledging your readers! I think its a kenyan first…the way kwanza you dont demand emails IMPRESSED me major! It shows confidence! Your blogs impressed me & am hooked.ebu join @Twitter(hoping it wont water down your blogging mojo)

  11. dude, like your style of writing, its like thinking out loud. . . like the picture stories too . . consider yourself bookmarked!

  12. Wow! Biko, thanks for the acknowledgement and no, you didn’t bore me. 🙂 I’m still a dedicated reader and have read each and every post.

    It’s amazing how you’ve described me to detail! Though I’m about 2 inches shorter than how you’ve pictured me. 🙂

    Keep writing your amazing stories.

  13. Nice post. I should mention that i’ve been reading this blog religiously ever since i stumbled upon it.It even made me reinvent my writing style and content and also made me grow more addicted to the world of blogging.You’re a great writer and an inspiration to should see how many guys flock to the comp labs in UoN whenever i happen to mention that Biko posted something new on his blog.Keep it up man.

  14. Hola hola Don Biko, Gracias a lot for the mention. A Monday surprise. I always read this blog and cannot put it better that the rest. It’s addictive. The cocoa in a blog. Keep hitting the keys, Senor. 🙂

  15. Hi Biko,
    Ever since (about a month ago) I stumbled onto your blog, I am hooked and really look forward to the next one. I try to envision the kind of guy you are, but imagine your parents must be knowledgeable and politicised, hence the name Biko and they took you to a nice (snobbish) school which is good cos its makes you a good and confident writer. keep the blogs rolling.

  16. Once upon a time before i knew about ur blog i dug up all my TL mags n read the last word… in each and every one… In a matter of an hour or so. Searchd u on the net n its been history since.
    Im more of a reader than a commenter.. Ur stories make me laugh and cry… Sometimes at the same time
    Keep it up

  17. Delicious… 🙂

    Thanks Biko for the kind words. You remain my favourite writer. Keep it up. Looking forward to reading more interesting stories.

  18. Media girl??? Nkt!

    Jackson, u forgot to mention i didn’t love the knickers story as well…sigh’

    You did get something right though, it does take a big person to tell you that they don’t like something about you :)…
    but then it takes a even bigger person to take the comment with such poise…

    You are the bigger man…

    Keep it coming…

  19. What can i say,…….Thank you Biko. Am always hooked to your blog all the time and also try to preach the word around this place……

    I could picture almost everyone you mentioned just by the profile you gave. Your blog has honestly sharpened my imaginative skills and thank you for that.

  20. Biko,yes i am a chick… it wd be Freida Pinto n not Blair underwood(he he, just kidding)…..your writing is unique and i love every sentence of it no matter how long it may be……you use suspense to keep us hooked, and that requires a literary genius,which you are..keep it up.

  21. Biko! (whats the story behind your names?). I like to think of myself as a budding writer, a calling that’s hiding somewhere dark and lonely waiting to hear its name being called out. It doesn’t help that I work in publishing, where I feed on words. I wont go on and on about how good of a writer you are…they’ve all said it up there. Keep them coming, maybe you will inspire some of us to respond to the call, however feeble.

  22. Nice of you to pay tribute to fellow bloggers. I found this blog because it gets great reviews and is quoted a lot on facebook

  23. I wish I was one of the people who had this blog referred to them. Or that even this post is really heart felt. But no, it’s not. In fact the Internet advises you to write about your readers and even if I agree it’s sincerity I know Biko got the idea from google.

    Now Biko has touched on many important and relevant topics like gAys, unemployment, relationships and typical African machismo.
    Some of us were not fortunate to be refered we were literaly “bended” to read the thing.

    And hey people; Biko did not go to a snob school, he just got friends like me and fervently read menshealth but I must he is one of my own inspirations to respond to THE CALL.

    Forgot what it is I wanted to comment about originally.

  24. Hehehe…I’m in a very serious relationship with your blog.Its the only thing that doesnt disappoint!
    I always have a mental picture of what you write especially your trips to luoland or Zanzibar.Since i’m scared of flying and hate travelling,i get to see the world thru your eyes.
    I appreciate the mention.Keep on writing…Most of us clearly need it!Amazing work Biko. And fyi, i do not use a lot of smileys!

  25. Hahahahahahahahaha Biko you killed me on this I’ve not been here for a while but I’m back now this is too much Biko. Very nice one.

  26. Biko, we are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way. Appreciation is a wonderful feeling, don’t overlook it. When I count my blessings, I count you twice. Each day I give thanks for you and appreciate all that you do. Your writing excites me and I will keep reading as long as you’re writing.

  27. He he he!!!!!!! Biko you just cracked me up…again!
    My first year at work I worked with so many Pakistanis and they taught me how to loath Indians…and yet they are Indians for all I care!
    Boyfriend…banker…no! He is…I will tell you another day.
    What do I drink? 🙂

    Thank you Biko for your great work. Keep writing and I promise to keep reading!

  28. Alot of non-commentors like me got from under the bleachers wit this one….not quite sure if its to get a mention also.hehe.Tis been a great pleasure meeting you through your blogs.My favourite was ‘the running man’ -closest i ever came to begin joggin.Keep em coming coz u know what….’sharing is caring’.

  29. Biko, seems your readers worship you. Ati “I get to see the world through your blog” Camera maybe, but a blog? gimme a break.

    Me thinks to some you are like a God, they hang on to every word you type. I dont like celebs, they appear aloof, they become more like politicians. Be careful you don’t become one of those. maybe you are one already.

    I sometimes enjoy your writing.

  30. Methinks there is some wisdom in Tito’s comment. I’ve witnessed one or two (or five.. I lost count) good bloggers lose their true voice, and start pandering to the blog-dience, once the adulation got to them.

    Keep rolling out the good posts but don’t forget to keep your feet firmly on terra firma. Peace. 🙂

  31. Keep it up, Biko… Absolutely spiffing… I have an idea… If you get the ‘Writerz Block’… Crikey, write about the ‘Writerz Block’… Your experiences on it and ish…

  32. Hey Jackson!!!

    I think this post was fantastic and had quite a compassionate touch! I only just started reading your blog recently after being told by a friend who couldnt stop talking about the post on ‘knickers!’ I love the writing thus far and super glad that I can totally zone out when I am reading it…such fresh reprieve! Keep writing 🙂

  33. So you think TV reporters think everybody knows them huh?? Funny, I thought you were a right snob first time i saw you, sitting there looking proper bored, like you had anywhere else to be on a hot Nairobi afternoon! Anyway thanks for the mention, I expected nothing less and as for the belated birthday wish, I take gifts all year round, call it equal opportunities for all days of the year 🙂 Good work though, and did you really hit the hazards to watch the little girl??

  34. Actually had a LOL moment reading how you perceive me. The reading glasses and all.

    ‘…It’s readers like Mrs. Mwiti that make me taper down my language here. Out of respect.’

    Am glad I have that effect on you. 🙂

    PS : Thanks for profiling. Am honored!

  35. If you want a steady relationship full of adventure, heavy loving and all that apertains to it look me up. I will make it worth your while.

  36. I can’t wait fo the day you’ll profile more of your readers. There’s a story in each of them and you seem to have a connection with some pretty well. Good job!

  37. I have 8 months worth of blog posts to read! Glad I found you-you keep me awake during night feeds. Been reading front to back for almost two weeks and to be honest I’m afraid of getting to the end. You know when you read a good book-you dread finishing it yet you want to finish reading….I don’t want to wait for mondays when I’m done catching up!

  38. I have started reading your blog today and have read almost 50%, the rest will be read before end of this week..

  39. Hi biko,
    I’m a new reader, so going through all your posts is so tedious!! You should have all your pages numbered and put a link at the bottom so it’s easier for new readers to look through older posts. 🙂

  40. Biko, you’re one hell of a guy. By the way, did you know that my forehead is twice the size of yours? Yeah, we’ve “great” foreheads too. But you know what, the large forehead comes with great brains, may be not always, but you and I can bear witness to this amazing fact (can’t we?). I’m proud of my large forehead though it almost brought me down when was in primary school. You know those rural schools, don’t you? The jibes were out of this damn planet. But here I am!