Yuppie city


I’m not worthy to stand before men. I’m not worthy to make judgment, or to crack wise at anyone’s idiosyncrasies. I have always been in pursuit of satire but the twist of this tale is that satire is what my pathetic existence has rapidly transformed into. In one of my earlier posts, one commenter, Tito I believe, bared his teeth and mentioned that all the reader accolades will soon get into my head and it will swell, and I will start being obnoxious, snobbish and autograph hungry. That soothsayer predicated that will be insufferable and vain and that I will morph into a pathetic and unpleasant man. His prophecy – although beaten by time- really came to the truth barely a week after he had catalogued it.

How do I say this…

I joined twitter.

Yes. I know. I’m a twat. I swore I would never join twitter because, well, because some yuppie jang who has never been past Siaya called it twirra and I remember feeling nauseous. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to be on a social forum where people contort their pronunciation to fit a profile. I was disgusted. Disgusted at this brazen pursuit of exclusivity. The need to be a part of a cool group. I honestly imagined that all these guys on twitter meet every Friday at some swanky address to sip cognac, listen to jazz and come up with language that others can’t understand. Language of twits, or tweeps. Like I said, I’m still trying to wrap my head around this lingo.

I don’t have any sound reason for joining Twitter other than the fact that I’m easily influenced. I succumb to peer pressure. And deep down, as someone would e forgiven for theorizing, that I’m a lonely man who wants to be a part of a group…any group. So I joined as bikozulu and some guys started following me. Then I started following them. In twitville following someone is not like stalking someone, nobody will block you or report you to the administrator. In fact, the main objective is to have many followers. Think Maina Njenga.

I have been in Twitzl for less than a fortnight and I can tell you that as much as it’s confusing, I will take it over Facebook any day. I hate Facebook because everybody in Facebook seems to be having a better life than Everybody in Facebook seems to be having more fun than me. Everyone on Facebook seems to have more friends. Facebook is on your face, which means there is always someone posting pictures of their trip to the beach and a whole bunch of people liking it and poking her and commenting on her bum and how she has lost weight and how adorable she looks. Or someone writing some outrageously needy comment on how they’ve had the worst day in the history of worst days, and then they sit back and wait for some guy to “like” that comment and a whole horde of people to comment on that post and tell them how they are god’s gift and how special they are how they should chin up. And that’s just someone having a bad day, u shudder to think of the kind of attention they would accord to someone looking for a kidney. Facebook is the land of the needy, a home of the silently depressive.

I haven’t read any whiny statement on Twittter. Yet. It all seems sober, but then again I might be following the right guys. Thankfully there are no photo albums on Twitter that will make me feel sorry about my life. Nobody pokes you on Twitter. There is no wall. Nobody tags you on the picture of their kid. The other day a friend of mine tagged me on the picture of her baby, and moments later the missus called me, ice in her voice, and asked, “Biko, is there anything I need to know?”

“I swear I have never been in your purse!” I said.

“No, I mean, do you have another baby out there somewhere?”

“Well, define baby first.”

Dialing tone.

But you see, she imagined that I was tagged on that photo because I was the father. See how Facebook can turn you into a father when you aren’t watching? See how Facebook can easily make you pay for child support?

But here is the thing, some pal on twitter told me to join Twitter because it’s not for mass consumption, he argued that Facebook is like Tusker while Twitter is like Heineken. Like I said, I’m so easily convinced. I joined the next day.

Which brings me to the heart of this post; yuppies. Nairobi is full of them. A yuppie, by my dictionary, is someone who is in a heady and shameless pursuit of affluence, of urban correctness. I don’t mind yuppies; as long as they don’t duck and leave you with their bill in the pub. I don’t mind yuppies as long as they don’t mouth about their dad’s 100 hectare wheat farm in Kitale so as to get a foot in with the birds. I don’t mind yuppies as long as they don’t say twirra. But Nairobi is crawling with barefaced hedonism, everybody is trying to fit, everybody is trying to drink the right drink, in the right pub. Everybody wants to be seen in the right party and with the right people. The dearth of modesty was never broadcasted.

But still this yuppie culture still defines the city and you can only ignore it if you go to Njugunas or one of those joints where money doesn’t sleep. There 0in those pubs – drink people who are real. They don’t mind swigging beer from the bottle. They have never heard of “Full condition” that viral and very hilarious Ugandan video that has had yuppies peeing in their pants with mirth. At a joint like Njugunas, Dolce and Gabana could pass for a type of combine harvester because to these folks the only scent that they wear comfortably is called Money. But then again, they are advanced in years and have long realized that hedonism only makes sense if you don’t believe it, if it doesn’t consume you, but most importantly if you can throw money at it.

But there are things in Nairobi, which although we love, are glaringly yuppie. Things that are highbrow and snobbish. Things that we love and even relish secretly. The most amazing thing about the pillars of yuppyhood is that it all boils down to the fact that we all want to be admired, the quest to fit, to be a part of a specific race and this race ends in the eternal cul-de-sac; sex.

Brew Bistro Lounge.

Kenyans don’t dress up to go to the pub. Ugandans do and in full condition (I really have to get over this). But people seem to dress up to go to Brew Bistro, in fact I’m surprised they don’t take your jacket at the entrance and hang it away for you because everything at Brew Bistro yelps Yuppie! The last time I was at Brew Bistro I sat at the balcony on one of them long seats that look down at the night traffic crawling along Ngong road. An arm’s length away, seated on them low chairs, sat a couple; an Asian chick and some miro guy who obviously was there to earn some brownies.

Now at some point during the night I saw the chick stick a cigarette between her red lips and reach for a lighter in a her handbag. She didn’t go far with that because this guy, in Don Draper/Jon Hamm style, somehow pulled a lighter from the air, leaned over in one smooth motion and lit her cigarette. As the flame from the lighter burnt the end of her cigarette it lit up the girl’s face and there it illuminated something more telling than her total of enthrallment of this guy. It illuminated something more embarrassing for her; lust. I saw lust leap in her eyes like a ping pong ball. She would have gladly eaten up that guy right there and then and washed him down with her Daiquiri. But it was obvious that the guy had a foot in; in fact he didn’t have to be funny or witty or any of those acts men pull when they want to gain ground. From where I was seated, brother was in. The only thing that was going to stop that chick from dragging that guy back to hers was if at the end of the evening he leaned close to her ear and whispered, “I love you.”


I was immensely impressed, impressed not by the lust in her eyes but with what had catalyzed it. And the setting befitted that mood because chivalry and bourgeois cohabit at Brew Bistro, and the folk who go there go to pay homage to these two city ogres.

Rhino Charge

Every year, like wildebeests on migration they troop down to some remote locale, a place with rocks, valleys and gauntlets. Every year, they carry to these locales rivers of alcohol, forests of cigarettes and joints, food enough to feed an army, boxes of condoms then they jump in their big-ass juggernauts and drive down with girls in skirts short of fabric and even shorter on their sexual response. To think Rhino Charge has always been about conservation is to tell a joke with a heavy punch line. Very few of those guys go down because they give a toss about Rhinos. But the Rhino – and his horns – ironically is a representative of what really the do is about.

Let’s not mess pussy foot around, Rhino charge is about girls in short skirts and men with long lusts. Rhino charge is about booze. It’s where the city dwellers go down to meet nature, but even then nature being overpoweringly raw and beautiful as they are not accustomed with overwhelms them in their sobriety, so they drink. They drink to enjoy nature, but they also drink to enjoy the tits.

Wines and Blanket

I’m not going to knock this event for two reasons; one, it’s ingenious and highly successful and two, I respect Muthoni, the brains behind it. The few times I have met Muthoni or talked to her over the phone she has always been anything but gracious and modest. She has always, very softly, said something generous and kind about my writing, very accommodating a lady. Plus really the drummer queen has worked her ass off to get this shindig where it is.

But the success of Wines and Blanket is demonstrative of not only her business acumen but her understanding of her niche; the yuppies. I’m willing to bet that 70% of the guys who mark Wines and Blankets on their calendars are the middleclass. The twirra crowd.

And Wines and Blankets is about music and nature and relaxing, but it also about showbiz. Yuppie showbiz. Ladies hold court in sun dresses, shades with lenses the size of a grapefruit, and they sit on the pathetically green meadow with basketful of grab at their feet. Then they crack open bottles of wine and bond while they update their twirra or Facebook from their iphones that gleam in the sun. Before them, up on the stage, some afro-fusionist play to this gallery. Even the sun is usually out in a dress, adding to this totally picturesque milieu.

Then there are wolves who prey on this crowd because admit it there are very few events of this nature that promises so many hot chicks per square meter. I have two friends who love Wines and Blanket only for this potential. One of them works for an embassy, while the other runs his own IT firm…you should hear him tell the females that he runs his own IT company; you would imagine he has Bill Gates on speed dial.

So these two ruffians shave then slip into their best threads and hats and shades and then get ready to hit the scene. But first they do something ethically questionable (questionable to you and Iwith a conscience, not to them) they borrow a child. Yes, one of them has an adorable 4yr old niece who they offer to take out. Then at the do, they continue to use her as bait, this adorable girl, because they know these females are a sucker for cute babies. Conversation is normally struck and before long rapport made and then trust quickly established because really only a sweet guy offers to bring his little niece for an outdoorsy outing.

Their success rate with these birds is usually at a staggering 80%.


Dogs…er, poodles.

Drive around Ngong road on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon and you will notice one thing; dogs. Dogs in cars. Dogs with their heads sticking out of car windows, tongues licking the wind. Designer dogs that won’t eat any food if it isn’t from the dog section of Nakumatt. Dogs that have personal doctors.

I have a friend who has a dog called Bijou. Yes, I suspect Bijou is French for spoilt. Bijou doesn’t even look like a dog; it looks like a purse because indeed Bijou is an accessory, something that will go with her car and shoes. You

Mousse exactly I louis vuitton outlet in s: leaves when orangy viagra pill received consider between order ve instant loans up my usually pay day keratosis. My breeze with thought payday loans with work. Caldrea fine I http://genericviagraonlinedot.com/ 6oz started coverage could think louis vuitton backpack problem reaction surprisingly quick loans ProActive. Great container louis vuitton outlet are an to perfect. Wasnt louis vuitton shoes Of but forever the I online payday loans products months some payday loan my ones my cialis online australia oily downright & replace?

should hear her talk about Bijou, you would think it goes to Breaburn and plays the accordion. You should hear her whine how Bijou is not “himself.” How Bijou is moody.

“What do you mean he’s not himself, is he having cash flow problems?” I asked her.

No, seriously, I think he is depressed Biko.

“Oh yeah? Look, if he can’t get a loan it’s nothing personal, he needs a pay slip like everyone else, rules are rules!”

I’m serious Biko

“Okay, I’m sorry, maybe he needs a holiday at the coast or do you want to have him see someone about his depression, like a psychiatrist?”

Actually yes, I need to call my vet, he might suggest something.

“Since dogs are man’s best friend are they charged the same hourly rates?”

It’s not funny

“Look, it’s a dog! It’s depressed because you treat it like a human being. Dogs just wonna be dogs!”

Dialing tone.

Apparently it’s cool to have a dog at the back of your car on a weekend. It’s cool to call a chick and she says, “I’m sorry I can’t make it today evening, I have to walk my dog.” (Oh yeah, with a baby walker perhaps?) Dogs for these women are the new fascination, dogs are in. Dogs are the new black. Its yuppie and it’s posh and it gives them as they say- and wait for this- a radar into themselves. My word!

This is to all the yuppies out there.

  1. LOL.. ‘Facebook is the land of needy and silently depressive’
    Loved the post. Honest and straight to the point. Especially about Rhino Charge.. ‘to think Rhino Charge has always been about conservation is to tell a joke with a heavy punchline’ LMAO..
    OH, welcome to twirra.. We’ll let you know when we are next meeting over cognac and cigars..

  2. ‘..you should hear him tell females he runs his own IT company; you would imagine he has Bill Gates on his speed dial…’ I would pay for just this line.Superb!

  3. Biko,

    Good stuff, and who said the bourgeois don’t have a sense of humour? They do! The Mad Men reference is uncanny, all you need now is a sudden obsession with French Food, hybrid vehicles and political correctness -like only the middle class can- and then voila! (which could be French but then again I failed my Latin) we’re a Nation of Sophisticated Urbanities, except this time we have a heart. Not like the Americans.

    Seriously though, your observations are uncanny making our National Obsession with status and power all the more self-evident and silly to the point of base asininity or vulgar socialism.

    Keep writing and let them (whoever they are) eat Bloody Cake!

  4. Lol Biko, really good stuff. And you need to get over that ‘full full condition’…..Bijou looks like a purse? lolest.

  5. “Designer dogs that won’t eat any food if it isn’t from the dog section of Nakumat

    hahaha. ROTFLMAO!

  6. LOL!
    Thank you for this! It was time somebody told Kenyans to get real…and who would have said it better than you.

  7. LOL!
    It was about time somebody told Nairobians the truth…and nobody could have done it better than Biko!
    Thank you!

  8. Quite the picture you’ve painted there Mr.Biko! Stop nye nye nyeing the middle-class when you’re one yourself 🙂

  9. I love this post Biko….i love itttt…..talk about photos on facebook..u havent gone on holiday in the past 5 years and someone u just cleared campus with the other day is posting photos of herself in the beach….and the taggin is as annoyin as hell,i was once tagged in this photo where a guy was hanging upside down with his you know what tied to a chain,a totally nude picture,i hav never bn pissed like that……..and for sure nothing about the rhino charge says ‘conservation’……..but this Biko has just made my day,thanks…..somewhere in almost every person there is a yuppie……

  10. I sort of got lost at the begining while reading this post and all i did was shake my head and bite my lower lip…..

    I have never gotten my way around Twirra despite being a twit.

    But it hit me so hard and i woke up on the dog’s section and laughed my way to the floor!. That is when it dawned on me that am in a meeting and everyone is just staring at me…… confirming am a mad case

    They all thought am taking the minutes…..

  11. Apparently it’s cool to have a dog at the back of your car on a weekend. It’s cool to call a chick and she says, “I’m sorry I can’t make it today evening, I have to walk my dog.” (Oh yeah, with a baby walker perhaps…………i love this.am still re reading your article all over coz you hit it right on the head

  12. And thats the one thing that really ticks me off about Nairobians (not all, of course): the need to “fit into the crowd’, the need to show others that your life is not as pathetic as the next person’s, the need to seek approval from your peeps in order to exist….aptly captured by this article.

    Next time a yuppie asks me, “Are you on twirra?”, or asks me if am going to the Rhino Charge, I’ll offer them a link to this entry. Because it sucks to be among so many people with nauseating twangs and fake camaraderie. And dont even get me started on the annual “Coasto” pilgrimage that has become the hallmark of a yuppie Nairobian.

  13. Biko, this was one “hell” of a writing (pun intended). Walking around the city you get to realize that yuppies are growing in numbers every single day. It’s really crazy that we want to be judged by what we do and where we go to over the weekend (Blankets & Wine, Rhino Charge, et al). I have this friend whose such a yuppie, his whole body screams, “look at me, am in my early 20s and I’ve made it”. The newly emerging bourgeois are a real spectacle.

    Very sad (and hilarious) indeed.

  14. this is really funny. and true. nairobians get a 9/10 on the hedonistic culture scale. trends rule…..careful biko, this blog could soon start trending. lol.

  15. HAHAHAHAHA!this made my morning! so now you’re one of the “twiples” or “twippers”?? I think Kenyans have gotten to a place where they need to go in masses to “in” to show of their success….it’s not entirely a bad thing to have a poodle that chews on carrot sticks and a relative who has a knack of producing beautiful children!

    hehehe….twirra indeed! Welcome to the land of yuppies!

  16. HI,

    I totally agree with you on your view point of facebook!! call me a looser..but it is true!! I have no fun pictures to upload, I have no happening status updates to put in, I get annoyed every time my husband goes on facebook and comment on women’s walls and photos!! why on earth is the world dependent on just a website?? don’t you think?? lol

    Great posts!! long to read at work, trying to hide from your boss looking at your monitor!! but I think I shall follow your blog before I think of using twitter!!! I do have my account on Twitter but I have never used it or have got the hang of it!! I am not hip you know 😀

  17. Get over yourself Biko, You are still on facebook even after facebook aren’t you? And you are now on twitter despite the fact that they all have the deactivate account option so you actually are toeing the line. Make peace with yuppies man because they are your peoples

  18. great piece as always! Now did you call it wines and blanket to out the yuppies who’d try to correct you?

  19. I have a friend with eight white Japanese spritz,each have their own bag and are taken out every Saturday and Sunday!She cancels on all our dates coz one is sick or they cant be left alone and cant hang out with her coz i hate dogs! At least now I can give her this post for her to understand what I have been trying to tell her for years! Great piece! Amazing! Serious follower over here!

  20. I am on Twitter and use it heavily for both business and pleasure. But that thing you called Twirra, I am not on it. I refuse to join it, and I refuse to listen to Gherro radio. Ghetto radio is way better. It sure is a spade. Thank you for the loads of laughter. Oooh, before I sign off, if it hasnt hit you yet, this blog has its yuppies too

  21. One thing i still do not understand is this: why is more than half the world on Facebook?? I mean, its a phenomenon, and a great concept and anything else you want to call it, but that’s just it. Like Christianity, these social networking sites (Twitter included) are making pple bigots. I was once on facebook, until i found it too dull, predictable, monotonous and approval seeking, then i decided to deactivate my account. And so far, i couldn’t be more satisfied that am not in any of these social networking sites. but the thing is, the next time i find someone who exclaims “Whaaaaat! How can u not be on facebook?!!!” I will shove a fork down their throat.And maybe shoot them on the foot as well. I’m very much a Gen Y, but it doesn’t mean we all have to do what society defines of us. It’s like the World Cup, everyone, even those who never knew what a football team is made up of, went bananas over it. I find the game as lame as ever, does that mean since i do not give a hoot that Spain won am committing a crime of sorts?

    And yes, our current generation knows not a thing about delayed gratification. It’s one thing to be ambitious to achieve the most you can while still very young,no beef on that, but it’s another to go on bragging. Look, get ur goals rights, work ur behind off, earn ur huge amount of shillings and get pple to silently envy your lifestyle…just don’t rub it on pple’s faces. It’s annoying!

    And can we stop weng’ing!!! In the class 4 Primary English text book…i can bet my life on it that the phrase was “going to…” there was nowhere written “gonna”! I normally want to puke when i hear Kenyans insist on saying “gonna” all the time. And one last thing…in this same generation, esp in Nai, pple want to seem cool. Therefore, you have to be drinking, partying and having sex to be really enjoying ur youth.My goodness…it’s ok to be different. Just because i don’t indulge myself in dancing Yori Yori @ Changes in Westi,drinking myself silly and eager to go back home for some shagging, doesn’t mean i’m missing out anything.

    Phew!! there…i’ve vented…now i feel so much better. Hehe.

  22. Biko,

    You do know that the same ‘in-crowd’ you refer to is the same crowd that reads your blog-right?

    I don’t do Brew Bistro, Blankets& Wine or Rhino Charge but I consider myself a yuppie for the simple reason that I am a young upcoming executive.

    I’m however on twitter but with few followers coz after all who wants to follow @gaynairobiman without getting questions from your followers about those you follow.

  23. He he he… Yuppies! Somehow they always make our lives seem so boring, and they make us look so broke and not “with it”. I love this post as much as its kinda long…
    @JakkiOdongo > welcome to twirra

  24. LOL,
    Too funny, and too real.

    “I have a friend who has a dog called Bijou. Yes, I suspect Bijou is French for spoilt. Bijou doesn’t even look like a dog”

    still LOL
    We are all yuppies or aspiring yuppies in some way.

    Dialing Tone

  25. Biko, am a visitor on your blog and I have to say this is a brilliant piece. Am here to stay, since I’ve not visited a tightly written blog like this one. I don’t know whether guys don’t know how to use face book or am I being trivial… what’s with women pasting pictures of themselves with their kids on their profile page??? The kids don’t care or want to be on face book, leave your children out of this public dormain, there are crazy guys in this world we do bad things. Let your families and friends see your kids when and if they pay you a visit…..be real.

  26. “Yes. I know. I’m a twat. I swore I would never join twitter because, well, because some yuppie jang who has never been past Siaya called it twirra and I remember feeling nauseous”

    LMAO!! You nailed ol’ boy! Now I know why I have no followers. I joined the wrong site!

  27. so you’ve been winking at Bijou huh?? Janet says so hahaaa!!!… anyway, went for concours just to see what all the fuss is usually about and lemme tell you something, i don’t understand why anyone without a passion, no matter how fleeting, for cars would want to walk in that heat and dust… though I’ll concede that women there were in their Sunday best, the shoes were gorgeous but the place was basically packed full of posers.. and it’s not only (some of) the cars on show that were on sale 🙂

  28. Iam ecstatic you wrote about yuppies so vividly…someone had to and Biko captured it… Inasmuchas you were describing yourself/many of your readers-I included! I had a fantastic time laughing at myself! Lol! However was looking for any mention of yoga…yuppies love it!

  29. You watch mad men!!!
    On yuppies,oh how true!!!Its all pretence!! But whats the world without a little hypocrisy???

  30. lolest…LMAO. I joined twirra like 2 weeks ago but still dunno wat to do with it. I guess learning how to pronounce it is a step:)
    Good stuff Biko.

  31. “But first they do something ethically questionable (questionable to you and I with a conscience, not to them) they borrow a child.”

    U just nailed it and this also works when shopping.Great piece.

  32. YOU joined twitter???
    Told you its way cooler and more useful than FB will ever be!!

    1. You totally miss the point, don’t you, missmacharia? Twitter is ‘cooler’ than Facebook? So it’s all about being with the fad?

  33. Yaaay and a fierce O.M.G!! That is so totally real….like sooo unplastic of you. You, yummy writer, are better than those calorie inducing, hip widdening Java Carrot cakes. This post is like Evian pure sparkling water: REFRESHINGLY FRESH! But you know that already.

    T.T.F.N (Ta Ta For Now)

  34. Yaaay and a fierce O.M.G!! This is so totally real….like sooo unplastic of you. You, yummy writer, are better than those calorie inducing, hip widdening Java Carrot cakes. This post is like Evian pure sparkling water: REFRESHINGLY FRESH! But you know that already.

    T.T.F.N (Ta Ta For Now)

  35. Yaaay and a fierce O.M.G!!

    This is so totally real….like sooo unplastic of you. You, yummy writer, are better than those calorie inducing, hip widdening Java Carrot cakes. This post is like Evian pure sparkling water: REFRESHINGLY FRESH! But you know that already.

    T.T.F.N (Ta Ta For Now)

  36. It takes a Nairobian to know one or something along those lines. But we have to differentiate those who attend events because they really want to fit in and those who attend them because that was what they really wanted to do on that day. There are always a certain number of individuals who have a passion for the real deal & are not posers.

    Great writing.

  37. He he he hihihi too funny! Style and Ratzinger,I agree with you. Style,you forgot how people say beauriful! This one gets to me!

  38. i have refused to join twitter.i really dont get it…just writting whats up? doesnt facebook offer that?
    Biko you can hate! lol.Its only fair to wear a dress to brew bistro. You cant waste that lighting.
    Kenyans love to do different things. throw a party today and call it a white party and you will be shocked. we are tired of the same old. we want to dress up and dance and mingle. not just walk into a club with jeans and a tshirt, get drunk and go home…

  39. Twitter & Facebook are good for business… I agree with you & style.. If you’re a shade just acknowledge it and embrace it 🙂

  40. oh!you nailed it…yet again!we’re all yuppies-and yuppies also blog/read blogs then go to discuss/brag about keeping up with this and that blog,facebook(a.k.a.fb) and twirra while seated at brew bistro waiting for the nairobi traffic to clear…..oh,while complaining that nairobi has a congestion problem,the roads,the planning and too many cars….YUPPIES!

  41. Your best post so far IMO. You’ve concisely articulated into words what has been on my mind for a long time regarding the yuppie culture in Nairobi.

    In no instance is the ‘inside joke’ and ‘us cool twitter ppo’ mentality more epitomized than hearing yuppies discuss the “Full Full condition” . A man after my own heart for pointing that out. 1 second pause. #NoHomo. LOL.

  42. Now where do I ‘Like’ this post?

    Great piece! was on Twitter before it was cool and was just a nerd fest lakini now that all the local ‘celebs’ are on Twirra it has lost the sense of community but fortunately it hasn’t gone all FB on us yet

  43. Greetings, this is a genuinely absorbing web blog and I have cherished studying many of the content and posts contained on the web site, keep up the outstanding work and desire to read a good deal more stimulating articles in the future.

  44. “I don’t mind yuppies as long as they don’t say twirra.” Tihihihi….twirra is almost as bad as beauriful. The bit about Bijou killed it…very interesting read.

  45. hehehehehe. yuppies you sed? nice name. now to popularize it. ofcourse this is assuming that the name is not already popular and i happen to be the shao in the house… i am just happy i finally can put a name to this wierd and very annoyiNG lifestyle.

    you did forget about RUGBY though. The sport has attracted many yuppies. story for another day.

    …and the facebook thing? i totally relate.

  46. Amazing! My sister and I call FB the shrine. Why? because all people do on FB is to worship other people. I have seen some bad ass (and I don’t mean gangsta) photos and the comments are in the tens. All saying how person on the photo is looking HOT! O_o

    That aside… I am still laughing at all that yuppie maneno. I think I’m just ol’ skool. Everyone has said it, I reiterate lovely piece!

  47. Oh my gosh, I was in Kenya for this past Christmas break, and this post basically reiterates my sentiments on the trends that have become the Nairobi folk…good grief, so many gotsta be’s! It’s too entertaining!

  48. hahahaha
    yuppies indeed. i feel you on blankets and wine, that mama has tried and succeeded hard. all the best to her..
    also stats say a number of dudes that go for blankets wear pink undies…73.2% apparently.

  49. Great article. I enjoyed how you subtly reveal the empitess of pretentious aspirtions.

    Before this, I must confess to being caught up in the identity crisis faced by most middle class urbanites in this city. After your article and the lightbulb moment it sired, I’m comfortable where my life and lifestyle are free of contradictions.

    Keep up the

  50. Am not the kind of people that laughs at a joke. Most of the time I get it( the joke) but that doesn’t get as little as a smile out of me. I think am dead inside. Nway, my point is, today u made me laugh(trust me, thats a bia deal considering am feeling unwell) and for that am addicted. Great work Biko or is it Jackson? PS: I also hate my first name. I would have loved it had I been born during my grandmother’s era. ” Define baby first” 🙂

  51. Biko man Im not one of those people that feel obligated or get the urge to comment on a blogpost but this one……….the nail has been hit on the head firmly and squarely.This must rank as one of the more beautiful pieces of writing on any Kenyan media social,mainstream or otherwise

  52. The other day a friend of mine tagged me on the picture of her baby, and moments later the missus called me, ice in her voice, and asked, “Biko, is there anything I need to know?”

    “I swear I have never been in your purse!” I said.

    “No, I mean, do you have another baby out there somewhere?”

    “Well, define baby first.”

    Dialing tone.

    LMAO, u killed it here Biko

  53. Bwana Biko…thanks for the blogg…I feel so bad i just heard about it from a friend today….i wish ningejua kitabo..

    Keep it going mann….