The things they carry

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The Maasai Mara will forget you. But you will never forget the Mara. It’s open space – acres and acres of it. It’s lone acacias standing erect in the unbroken horizon, thrusting at the heavens like defiant protesters. It’s the cheetahs, those beautiful but meek excuses of cats, staking the plains for a snack; a gazelle with extra cheese. It’s the hyenas with their bad legs and the hippos with their big asses. It’s the Buffalos who refuse to smile. And it’s the pride of lions, with their overbearing arrogance but the enviable charisma of warlords. You will never forget the chasm of the Mara, but the Mara doesn’t care for you. The Mara doesn’t care if you have 2,000 followers on Twitter.

I – together with fifteen other journalists – was in the Mara over the weekend for another media trip courtesy of Sarova Group. It was a riot, to say the very least. I’m not going to regal you with travel tales from the Mara. Not today. Old hat.

I like writing about people because people will surprise you with stories that you didn’t expect from them. You will get the unlikeliest quote from someone you didn’t expect, or some twisted wisdom that heals your own fears. But also sometimes people will disappoint you with such shallowness, such selfishness that you thought was above them. I like those stories as well. But this is not about people; this is about what people carry with them, the things that people hold close to them, the things that they never leave the house with. Things with stories. Things that offer us insights on who they are. The things they carry.

And what better people to ask question than the guys I spent two nights and three days with. I asked them questions about things I saw on them, things that piqued my interest. I asked them about objects that meant something to them and why. And their answers were revealing. Then I sat down last night to write this piece under a raging haze of fatigue, post-whisky hangover and sleep deprivation. And so guys if I got certain details about you wrong forgive me, you know I wasn’t in no state to remember everything, and neither are you anyway. Here goes.

Justus, Cameraman Citizen TV

Item: Wristband

He wears a greenish band around his wrist. It’s written “Soldier of God.” He has had it for 4months now. “I’m born again,” he explained to me at the buffet table as he chose steak. “One year now.” He has found the lord and now he walks in his light. He lives in virtue. He was never like this; he drunk, too much, to his admission. He partied had. And you can still see those tell tales signs of hedonism on his face, on his arms, and in the way he speaks. They are like a tattoo from a different period. A story in themselves.

I asked him what the green band meant to him. “A turning point, a new leaf, its green you see. It also reminds me of the life I led, the life I’ve left, the life I don’t want to go back to. A useless life. I wear this band everywhere. Does that kunde like vegetable have milk in it?” Yes, I told him. He moved on to the chicken. He’s lactose intolerant. A Soldier of God. Amen.

Susan Wong, Capital FM.

Item: Photos

“Hi, I’m Susan Wong,” she stood up from her breakfast when we met at the beginning of the trip.

“Susan Who?”

“No, Wong.”

“I’m wrong?”

“No, I am.”

“You are wrong?”

“Yes, Wong!”

She started laughing. She gets that a lot; jokers like me making a pun of her name. That’s just insensitive…and Wong.

China is far. So does Canada where she grew up. Her family is away. She just relocated from Ethiopia. Seven days old in Kenya. I asked her what she treasured the most on her and she said the pictures of her family in her phone. If she lost the pictures she would be gutted. She carries the photos everywhere, which means she carries her phone everywhere. She doesn’t miss home or anything, not when she has the pictures. Home to her are images. Pictures heal. So she keeps them.

Her blog: http://www.thebiggerpicture.wordpress.com

Cedric Mbiu, Brand development manager, Sarova Group

Item: Handkerchiefs

Don’t laugh. Cedric owns fifteen handkerchiefs. Never leaves the house without one. He lives with his chick, who doesn’t own a single handkerchief in that house. All handkerchiefs belong to Cedric. She doesn’t understand his handkerchief habit. Neither do I. He says he doesn’t sweat a lot, he says he hardly ever uses the handkerchiefs he carries around, but just having one in his pocket makes him feel complete. If he forgets one he gets into what he calls a mini panic. “Have you sought for help?” I asked him. Fifteen handkerchiefs are a lot of handkerchiefs to own. You can own fifteen boxers, or ties, but handkerchiefs?

“Do you have any with pink flowers?” I asked.

“No!” he laughed.

“You might as well.”

 

Wanjiru Gaitho, Business reporter, Citizen TV

Item: rings


She has two rings on one finger, a gift from her boyfriend. One was from Ethiopia, and the other from South Africa…the rings, not the boyfriend. The jagged one is always on the inside, the smooth one on the outside. That order never changes, it means something but she doesn’t know exactly what. But it feels right. The rings never leave her finger under any circumstances. “Lucky charm,” she calls them. She says if she lost the rings something would change between them. They would break up, she is certain. It has happened before.

She has an inexplicable attachment to those rings, and the cross penchant on her necklace that she calls, “My Jesus.” These are things that hold her up, things that perhaps represent stability. Ciru over lunch says, she has a problem with attachments, to people. She doesn’t mind losing friends, she can always make more. “But you would feel crushed if you lost something innate like jewelry? Aren’t those double standards?”I asked. She shrugged, “People will always disappoint you, innate things like jewelry won’t.”

“Jewelry get lost.”

“What doesn’t eventually?”

We ate in silence.

Her blog: http://shelikessweetthings.blogspot.com

Joseph Bonyo, Business writer, The Daily Nation.

Item: watch and a pen.

You can tell what kind of a man is by the watch he wears. I noticed his watch while we all had drinks around the sundowner bonfire. Its white face glowed in the fading light. An interesting watch. “Two things you will always find on me; a pen and a good watch.” He said. Then later, with his glass of whisky in hand he leaned closer and said, “Biko, you can always gain more money, but you will never gain more time.”

He resents people who can’t keep time. And he hates to keep anyone waiting. “I’m a busy guy, and a busy guy has to respect time – his and others. If you can’t keep time I will dismiss you as a joker. And I will leave.” He said these words with a dash of unapologetic arrogance. He also keeps pens. A pen collector. Speaks to his profession.

Here is the thing. He likens friendships to watches, when either of them stops working, when either of them stops telling the “truth” he loses them. Because they’ve lost their basic purpose. What if it’s the strap that fell off but the watch is still telling the right time, I asked. “When

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the straps fall off, a strap that was made specifically for the watch, doesn’t it say something about that watch generally?” I nodded, made sense. I remembered something I read in a Paulo Coelho’s book – Winner Stands Alone – , he asked, “If the handle of a sword fell off and you replaced it with a different handle, would you say it’s the same sword?”

I pointed out to him that his inability to replace his watch straps and discard them because of that, is a sign of his inability to offer second chances to people, now that we are likening watches to human relations. He turned it over in his mind for a while and said, “That’s the even-a-broken-watch-is-tells-the-right-time-twice-a-day argument isn’t it?”

Yes.

We went back to our drinks.

His blog: http://bizextras.wordpress.com/

Remmy Majala, presenter/producer, K24 TV

Item: Tattoos

The easiest way to break ice with men is to ask them about their cars. The easiest way to break ice with mothers is to tell them their kids are adorable. And the easiest way to break ice with anyone with a tattoo is to ask them about their tattoos. People love to talk about their tattoos. I once saw this hippy middle-aged white lady at the airport who had a tattoo of something that looked like a teardrop on her cheek and out of boredom, curiosity and intrigue I asked her what it meant and she curtly explained that it wasn’t a tattoo, it was a birthmark. I managed not to break ice but my heart.

Every of the four tattoos spread on Remmy’s arm and back are all themed around music. Tattoos of treble clef, pianos, quivers, stars and of an eagle. She says she loves music because it makes her “zone out.” To escape to a different world. And to want to escape, I think, you have to have a considerable weariness for your surroundings. Music, to her, is a bridge that leads her to a place where humans don’t live, her little place. The tattoos mean more than just body art, they’re a representation of places she takes off to, away from the living.

Ravneet Sehmi, Feature writer, The Star

Item: nose ring.

A few years ago three teenagers got together to pierce their bodies. Rav and her two friends. What informed this decision was not even because they wanted to but because their parents hated each other, like a family feud of sort. But they loved each other so it was some sort of a pact. A symbol of defiance. I guess that’s what happens when the story of Romeo and Juliet gets into your head.

So Rav got herself a nose ring, her friend pierced her navel and the other person pierced their ear.

“So you and your girls felt connected by this act?” I asked.

“Yes, and we weren’t all girls, the third was a guy.”

“Still, it was you and your girls. Come on the other guy is gay, right?”

“Yes. He came out not too long ago.”

Anyway, this little ritual happened at midnight in a tool shade behind a Hindu temple. OK, it didn’t but won’t that make a killer story?

Their parents still hate each other, but their friendship with “the girls” continues to flourish. A friendship held together by blood, punctured body parts and pieces of jewelry.

 

Ferdinand Mwongela, lifestyle writer, The Standard


Ferdinand doesn’t believe in rings or handkerchiefs or wrist bands. There is nothing he would never leave the house without. He’s like the character in Denzel’s movie The Book of Eli. Lone man, unattached to nothing but his sword (metaphorically this should fit as well). A man who doesn’t attach much value to things made by man, or machine. A man on the move, living on only the bare essentials life provides. He owns things; he loses them he gets others. And life continues.

 

Dorothy Matheka, Web marketing manager, Sarova Group

Item: ring


Sometimes the cheesiest things are the things women love the most. Men bust their asses trying to impress women by being creative when all they have to do is something so small, no, by doing something so simple and she will refuse to climb down the nine nimbus clouds. So I see this ring on Dorothy’s finger while we were out on a game drive, it’s out of place because she is wearing gold all over and the ring is silver. The words “Lucky” are inscribed on it.

“Lucky?” I asked her, “Not the name of a racing horse, I take it?”

Demure smile. “No, a gift from my boyfriend.”

“He’s called Lucky?”

Admonishing smile. “No, he said he’s lucky to have me and this ring symbolizes that.”

The girls in the van all went “awww, so sweet.” She swears since she started wearing the ring she has had many bouts of luck. Things seem to work for her; at work, at home. So she never removes the ring, not even when she is showering, because she doesn’t want to stop being lucky. Or she doesn’t want him to stop feeling lucky.

She asked me if I believe a ring can bring someone luck, I said only God gives luck and God is not a ring. She asked me how then I can explain her bouts of luck since she got the ring and I told her that it wasn’t the ring, it was her. She was happy, I told her, happiness breeds positivity and positivity makes things work out, or even like they aren’t. Happiness breeds more happiness.

“You think?” she asked.

“If I’m lying, I’m flying.”

“So it’s not the ring.”

“Of course not, now toss it to that buffalo, it helps with their digestion.”

 

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73 Comments
  1. Add this as one of my favorites of your blog posts.

    Great read, and very deep stuff in there.

    Thanks Jackson!

  2. Interesting how things people hold dear can say so much about them. But i guess Remmy Majala has no way of leaving her tattoos behind when she travels.

  3. Interesting insight. There’s a short story with that title I read recently, The Things They Carry. If I find it I’ll get it to you, if you’re interested

  4. Awwww….what a piece! i think i’m Ferdinand. That doesn’t need elaboration, does it?

    Biko, why aren’t your saturday articles online???

    1. They are. http://www.nation.co.ke/Features/saturday/The+petit+e+guy+in+skinny+jeans/-/1216/1132976/-/bwtyh8/-/index.html

  5. I like Ferdinand …. Nothing in the world a drifter should not be able to walk away from in a second! ‘You own things, you loose them, you get others’. Boom! Ferdinand if you are reading this, and if its the kind of thing you own, we have a whisky ‘boddle’ to loose!

  6. I have finally figured out why you are a compelling writer Biko, it’s because you can find stories anywhere. This was a nice easy read, i feel good about it. Great pictures as well…especially Remmy’s 😉

  7. It is amazing, really, how people attach value to the littlest of things. And meaning is given to things that would be valueless to another person

    Really deep insight there Biko. Keep writing

  8. You can also let me know what you think when you read my blogs: 1. jaq09.wordpress.com and
    2. thegreatimpression.wordpress.com

  9. Beautiful. It’s interesting how, by merely asking curious, seemingly trivial questions one can gain insight into an individual.

  10. I like this post.

    And #thatawkwardmoment when you broke your heart trying to break ice. Damn, that was funny. 🙂

  11. all these ladies talking about Rings and Boyfriends.well,i think i have to get both of those…a boyfriend and a damn lucky ring.lol.
    This Joseph guy,nice thing to live by(watch).

  12. Cant think of anything i am so attached to,,just things i like but which i can go without…but people do it for me….nice read Biko…

  13. Indeed,biko you are a man of words….trivial things vividly described with the right choice of words,laced with abit of humour and hey presto!we get a profound insight about people…in other news,am one guys who rarely uses the word’cute’ to describe women because in most cases it gets into their heads and they start acting funny but this afternoon i will take the risk and attempt to use it to describe Remmy….she is cute,there we go.Boss,it’s an interesting read.

  14. Impressive as always……i concur..happiness breeds more happiness its not the ring but hey it helps to think it can be the ring

  15. Loved loved this piece. Put a smile on already lovely Monday.

    Loved the photos too. Everyone looked beautiful.

    Now let me go find me and my beloved some rings

  16. You will never forget the chasm of the Mara, but the Mara doesn’t care for you. The Mara doesn’t care if you have 2,000 followers on Twitter.

  17. There you are lying to me again, “toss it to that buffalo, it helps with their digestion”.Really metal?
    Same case with the toothpaste effect.

  18. Lol! Noooo, it doesn’t help with their digestion. Funny piece.I particularly admire Ferdinand’s outlook on things. That’s how to go about this life.

  19. 15 handkerchiefs? Is that not bordering on obsession? Anyway, it can be amazing what stories sometimes lie in small stuff that people carry with them, explains how people can go mental when they displace something that seems of little value as opposed to something else that looks more expensive. I can forgive someone for breaking into my house and doing away with my electronics but I cannot forgive one should their ever steal an old notebook that I have been carrying around for about 15 yrs in which I recorded all the life lessons I learned while in college…maybe until I digitize it! 🙂

  20. Handkerchiefs! Cedric owns fifteen, i have over 25(they’d pro’ly be over 50 bt my sis always sneaks in n chomokaz w/one or two,then wen it gets dirty she throws it and sneaks again. And i buy again.story’ve my life). I clean,iron &store ’em. I carry one ev’rywhere.if i lose it i practically panic and i rush to the nearest shop or wateva.
    friends and family have raised concerns in the past…….they got used to it w/time.

  21. this post makes me feel bereft, not due to loss, but that i lack any object that can identify me. i have to get something anything, pen don’t think so, watch nah (the one i want is beyond my financial reach, even yours i think, pun intended) maybe a tatto on the face like tyson…but the big question Biko, “what object do you hold dear?’

    1. I actually meant grifter … I know you are not…. grifters don’t leave the ‘freelance’ tag behind. We are loosing that boddle … I’ll find you… hehehe.

  22. I must be Ferdinand, just my soul to carry around and an infectious smile people tell me I have. Good read as always.

  23. I really enjoyed this one….its amazing how people treasure stuff and believe in them…..am thinking i should borrow from that…..

  24. Thanks Biko!!! Just read it. And totally loved it. I dunno why i couldn’t find it earlier. I track them down every sato. Most times am delighted, but sometimes you disappoint me and make me question a lot of things. But so far so good.

    I said am Ferdinand, then seconds after posting that comment, i remembered. “Waaaait a minute! Am attached to something…People!!” Oh Lawd!!! I get sooo attached to pple. Which in more cases than not has proven to not be a good thing.But with time one learns where not to cross the line and give every bit of yourself. The disappointment! Pple disappoint. Massively! But then you learn to live for you, make no apologies, move on and befriend pple who are worth your time.

    Merci, you and i both! 😀 On that smile issue. A rare, unique, blessing, no?

  25. The only thing I’m willing to carry from my past (good and bad) are just the memories. And maybe one or two photos.

  26. Anyway, this little ritual happened at midnight in a tool shade behind a Hindu temple. OK, it didn’t but won’t that make a killer story?…hihiiihii

    i love this one!

  27. Started reading 3 days back and just finished. I can assure you, i am hooked. You are extremely gifted as a writer. I admire that you identified your calling and had the guts to pursue it!

  28. Chicks with tatoos turn me on, Biko you can hook me up to her or any other chick. They are a sign of women with sex appeal

    1. You didn’t hear? The escort/hook-up service we used to run, Ethnic Curves, got the magazine shut down! Refer to ‘No Hugs Please’ halafu uende utafute hook-up kwa rave!

  29. very interesting how you can turn the most mundane topics into something so interesting to read….thanks and keep em coming

  30. @ Et_al I know about ethnic curves I appeared in one of them and it’s what made the magazine sell out. Rave my ass!! Biko will wait for the hook up!!!!

  31. Some of these people display an element of being BORING. Biko don’t try to change people’s personality it’s close to impossible. I know two of the above and you have mis-represented them……don’t try to make what is not good look good!!!

  32. @ Janice, its true chics with tattoos are sexy. Just wondering what you people think about chicks who put tattoos of the name of a boyfriend/lover. It is one of those things like bearing a child; you can never get rid of it – that is the tattoo.

    Henry M

  33. @ Henry M, my sister has a tatoo of her lover’s name on her lower back, above her pantyline….I think it’s pretty cool and if I had love for my manb like she does I would do the same. It’s bold and very sexy…says alot about the guy!!!!

  34. Biko,
    This is a philosophical piece on people and the things they own or rather hold dear. I like it; very interesting.

    I have my own theory which I will present here. I think man (meaning both sexes) has a natural tendancy to own things. Men like to own women; women like to own men. All human beings like to own stuff; money, houses, cars, land, trees, animals (I own 8 dogs and two cats; my dad owns 500 cattle :-)) Anyway, we like to own stuff. Ooops! I forgot that we like to own jobs, a title (Mrs. Ms. Prof. Hon. Most Right Reverend…)

    Getting attached to ‘things’ has made us materialistic (forgive the 2nd Century cliche). We are who we are because of the things we own.

    It does not matter what you own really, whether it is a hanky, silver or plastic rings, bands or a stuffed animal – it is the meaning you attach to it. You may argue all you want; that your pendant makes you not gain weight to that blue bra makes you have two and a half orgasims – anything can fly.

    I want to argue that people who dont have attachments to things are more successful and I dare say rich. They are kind of people who can pack and go settle in Mars or sell their ancestral land in Rusinga Island and settle in North Eastern. They are risk takers, dont fear and love adventure.

    Finally on tattoos, I think they look tacky.

    Emily Wanja

  35. To Martha and your type who are trying to change the system here. I will say this again because you might be new here. This blog is not about trashing people, this is not a gossip blog. And it’s certainly not a platform where I pick women, or need my ego inflated.

    If you have a problem with any of the people I have profiled above – personally or professorially- I’m not going to be a party to your agenda to discredit them because it’s really none of my business. Point is; I won’t allow malicious comments touching on people who appear here, and thus my reason for deleting your comments. If still that isn’t something you can respect then you are on the wrong blog.

    1
  36. The biko I know is not scared to be criticized and he’s crystal clear about it. Why does he always have comments from people trying to fight his fights? People when biko has taken his stand, then comment on the article on his comment, you all dilute the essence of his point. As someone once said very clearly, “none of you have been appointed his Corporate Affairs Director”….

    1. Er…and who appointed you, Mr Jonathan?
      Don’t mean to be petty but it seems here that , that’s the exact thing you are doing – fighting Biko’s fights. Just saying. 🙂

  37. Great piece Biko, awewsome picyures….this Bonyo guy not too bad…

    @Jonathan…well said, let Biko not have people echoing his sentiments. He’s man enough.

  38. Alan! “Boring” is very relative. Furthermore, certain circumstances bring out different aspects of pple. Perhaps you’ve interacted with them on occasions where you only got to see a part of them and not their total personality. Not to mention the company also matters.They might have been dull with you(Maybe coz u were a bore? 😉 ) But they are great company, maybe even the life of the “party” when in another crowd.

  39. I kinda relate with Remmy Majala in the “zoning out” thing. I do that a lot with rock music. It’s more like hanging out with yourself. My friends mistake it for anti-social or snobbish behavior , but i find the escape very therapeutic to the aches of daily hustles.
    I’m a big fan of your blog Biko.

  40. As always lovely post Biko. I’m attached to my two rings that never leave my fingers, ever. And my music. Music is my lifeline without it, I’m doomed.

  41. Brilliant as always Biko.. I don’t however agree with you about tattoos being a great ice breaker, they were, but it has become so common that it’s irritating.. Sorry you got your heart broken your heart broken by the woman with the tear drop ‘tattoo’ she’d probably heard the line one too many times..
    And I love the way the watch guy thinks, he’s different

  42. My apologies for being a late bloomer on your blog but am so loving every single sentence, Omera but do I say 🙂 . Seems like you have read “the secret” ‘She was happy, I told her, happiness breeds positivity and positivity makes things work out, or even like they aren’t. Happiness breeds more happiness.’
    “You think?” she asked.
    Anonymous me would have replied “it is the law of attraction, I know so”
    One word = outstanding!

  43. Biko, I marvel at your ability to evaluate people’s characters , a rare gift you must be more of a listener than a ‘talker’

    ‘Your inability to give people second chances’

    “Happiness breeds Positivity’

    Keep ’em coming (the stories that is)!!

  44. such a great article. am digging into your past articles..i suppose you listen more than you talk..A great value to embrace..

  45. ‘She was happy, I told her, happiness breeds positivity and positivity makes things work out…Happiness breeds more happiness’ …

    Lovely line, it rings true 🙂
    Thank you for the piece. ‘The winner stands alone’ is a great read. And so are your articles.