The leg

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By Nancy Chero’

I have always thought that I am too tough and too grown for tears until the pain in my knees started. I remember shedding tears in the hospital to the point kids were asking their parents ‘kama nimedungwa shindano.’ It was pain beyond explanation; the one that totally takes your breath away. I was sent to have an MRI done because X ray and other tests did not show anything. I went to collect the results after 2 days and took it to the doctor as instructed and that is when I knew I am as weak as they come. Sitting waiting to see the doctor, all sorts of things ran through my mind. What if I will be told I have a terminal disease? What will I tell my son, parents and siblings? What had I done to deserve this? How will my funeral be like? As I asked myself these questions, I found myself totally breaking down. I was crying and shaking uncontrollably.

The doctor later said it was a panic attack. He had a look at the results and had to repeat a thousand times that it is nothing that should scare me before I completely calmed down. He went on to tell me that the results showed I had muscle tear and though severe, I would get well but I had to be totally careful and avoid engaging in anything strenuous. By the time he was prescribing the medicines, I was calm enough to ask a very important question.

“Daktari, a quick one. Sex is not strenuous, right?

“Nancy, you love your knees and want to get better, right?”

“Yes”

“Stay away from sex until you get well. We do not want you crying like today”

“Is there a style that is safe or less strenuous?”

“Nancy, go home and relax. A few days will not kill you”

You cannot blame a girl for being too hopeful. My dad has been calling me since my knees started acting up and we always pray together for me to get better. I have noticed that he has started praying for me to get a good man. I do not want a situation where his prayers will be answered only to find me not ready. Anyway, it has been 10 weeks (time does fly) since I started my journey. I have made so much progress and I am very proud of myself. The lessons I have learned are priceless. It is two weeks to my birthday, probably the reason why my dad prayers has changed, and I have a lot to celebrate. The knees might slow me down a bit but my will and determination still stands.

In the ten weeks, I have learned that I can survive without meat and junk food. I was of the idea that a meal is not complete without meat unless I wanted to stop breathing. It was one of the hardest thing for me to stop. It has been so much fun showing red meat the middle finger and getting to enjoy the other healthier delicious options. The same has been for junk food too. The joy I get every time I successfully manage to ignore the temptation is out of this world.

Sober weekends have to be the greatest discovery made this year. You wake up on a Saturday and mornings and you have no headache, you do not feel like strangling yourself, nowhere in your body hurts and you can actually remember everything that happened the previous night. It is pure bliss I tell you. How can I forget about checking my purse and smiling? I am usually very generous when high. I hate to see people not drinking so I buy alcohol for the people I am with, tip the waiters, the cleaners in the washroom, bouncers and get a heart attack the following day when I check my account balance. I am glad I can now be able to afford more handbags.

Through the years and from my journey, I have learned not to use my pain or situations I do not like to identify myself. I have learned to change what I can and to pick myself up and be positive no matter the situation. Have I been through a lot of pain and struggle but that is no excuse for being better. I have made mistakes but I have learned to forgive myself. I stopped giving stress as an excuse for my weight and the results are amazing. It does not mean that I have not been angry or asked God questions. Deciding to say “I have been raped but I choose not to be bitter” “I am fat and I choose to work on losing weight” “I have made mistakes and I choose to forgive myself” has got to be some of the best decisions I have made in my life. Crying has made things better too; my eyes are much cleaner now.

I have also discovered that my dad is willing to give me away without the man necessarily having to pay the dowry as long as he makes me happy. My dad may not want dowry but I want dowry to be paid. I will request him to take it on my behalf then hand over the amount to me (it has to be in cash). I will use the money to buy myself a new pair of shoe every time I will get my future husband ogling at another woman.

The best lesson however is the fact that this world is full of beautiful people. I have gotten so much love and support from total strangers since I started the journey. The support has made me go on especially when the lazy feeling kicks in. The advice I have received is overwhelming. Now more than ever, I have faith in humanity. My friends too are a gem. I remember one who got so mad because I was taking alcohol, another one is my official portions checker and some buy me ice cream because that is why we are friends. I am surrounded by so much love.

I have cheated a lot. Alcohol has been drunk a number of times, I have severally heeded to the calls made by junk food, portion control has been ignored a number of times but I am not about to stop; no matter how long it will take. I do not know how long it will take before my leg gets better, but I will pick myself up and continue.

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48 Comments
  1. Priceless lessons learnt.
    I pray that we all don’t wait for those moments where we are technically put down so that we can learn some valuable lessons as these!!

    Thanks for sharing Nancy.

  2. “I have cheated a lot. Alcohol has been drunk a number of times, I have severally heeded to the calls made by junk food, portion control has been ignored a number of times” Haha old habits die hard! don’t give up though, keep trying!

  3. Great read as usual. You make something serious come out hilariously… and remind me that it is okay to fall but not to remain there. Keep on keeping on and wish you speedy healing. You need to dance 🙂

  4. Do you ever get feelings of being proud of a person you don’t know? Well, am proud of you Chero! And please go easy on my ribs lady, you’re too funny.

  5. I have also discovered that my dad is willing to give me away without the man necessarily having to pay the dowry as long as he makes me happy. My dad may not want dowry but I want dowry to be paid. I will request him to take it on my behalf then hand over the amount to me (it has to be in cash). I will use the money to buy myself a new pair of shoe every time I will get my future husband ogling at another woman.

    Yo very funny girl. Good progress and keep up.

  6. For a moment I thought you were saying good bye
    to us. Your journey is my journey too. Every
    Thursday I weigh before reading your post. You can do this!

  7. Am going back to when biko introduced you then to your Facebook account where he fetched you from ,I must see a lady with guts to ask a doctor such questions.. call me stalker n so are you!!!.. (self confession).

  8. Somehow sex usually finds its way in your weight loss
    posts… hmmmm…is there a message you are
    trying to pass across with all the sexual innuendos?
    ha ha ha!

    I have a friend who has been trying to lose weight
    for the last 15 years that I have known her and
    she’s never succeeded. Reading your posts kinda
    gives me insight on why it is so hard for her coz
    it has always been quite a straightforward
    process to me, eat less, work out more, but clearly
    it is not that easy for everyone.

  9. Yeah…keep at it. I quit sugar and junk in a snap. There are people who need more ‘grace’ but winning this will give you so much power

  10. YOU ARE A HERO CHERO! I BET YOU’VE POSITIVELY INFLUENCED MANY(EVEN MEN!) TO GREATER DEPTHS THAN LUPITA.Awesome piece..

  11. Amazing girl. Am so so proud of you……Keep going dear. But be easy on the ribs…Ati buy shoes everytime you catch him ogling? Hehehe

  12. I love your energy n I hope you dont mind if I steal your idea “I will request him to take it on my behalf then hand over the amount to me (it has to be in cash). I will use the money to buy myself a new pair of shoe every time I will get my future husband ogling at another woman.” … I think all ladies should do this 🙂

  13. Keep on keeping on! The journey has no destination but the journey itself or something that sounds as wise and makes sense as well.:-D

  14. hehe shoes for ogling eye. Chero you’ll have a million of those..
    Nice piece.. And its true there are good people out there we just have to discover them by being good to others

  15. I like that you are realistic in your weight loss. everyone slips up..but don’t quit just coz you ate a burger and fries for lunch.its never as bad as you think.Keep it up

  16. Keep going Chero. Sorry about your knee though, wish you a quick recovery. Lastly, am with you on the dowry part, ensure your dad gets collects it on your behalf. Lol

  17. Na si unapenda hand bags and shoes, u hve made my afte kama a pair of shoe can calm you when your hubby sees another woman. i love your writing, your humor is just awesome, we are together in this weight loosing call.