by Nancy Cherotich
I do not know why but the pressure to lose weight has been too high. It felt like everyone but me was exercising or on a particular diet. The number of people jogging around the estate increased, my timeline was filled with before and after photos from people who are clearly working harder than me. The pressure was just too much it made eating my birthday cake very difficult. I sat in bed at night after indulging in cake eating torn between sneaking back to the fridge to finish up the little piece that had remained and going on my knees to pray that the punishment I will receive for my bad behavior should not be more than 500 grams.
The last time I had such kind of pressure was sometime back when it seemed that everyone around me was starting up a business; side hustle is what they called it. People were thinking of how to get money. Rearing chicken and quails, selling hand bags, sex toys, shoes, alcohol and many other things. Let me be sincere, when it comes to business ideas, I am totally handicapped. I like to think of myself as a happy customer to the business minded people. Saving I can, but sitting down to think of a business to start is asking for too much from me. Even with all that pressure around me I could not think of a single business to start. There was this time I was chilling with my friends when the money and business topic came up. Everyone had this brilliant business idea that they talked nonstop about. When they realized that I was very quiet, they asked me to tell them what business I think we should start. After thinking for a while, I told them “We can buy botis of whiskey halafu we sell shots to people on the streets.” After a long silence and stares, which I mistook for awe, I was dismissed as drunk and ignored for the rest of the night. The idea still sounds good to me and I am willing to partner with any sponsor. I need to prove that I was not high.
My search for business ideas has led me to places I never thought I would go to. A friend I had not been in touch with for years, texted me. At first the talk was the normal catching up conversation then she told me that she was thinking of quitting to concentrate on her business. I was impressed to say the least and I told her the same. She then requested me to accompany her to Westlands that weekend to check out her investment and give my views on the same.
I obviously agreed and we set up the date. I do not know why I did not bother to ask her what kind of business she had set up. Probably it is because somewhere in my head I was convinced she had constructed some apartments and wanted to rent them out. People in real estate are the ones who use the term investment a lot. I told myself that I will ask her if she needs a caretaker because I was very willing to be one. That meant staying in one of the houses for free, which in my head translated to more shoes and handbag; for me not for sale. On Saturday I woke up early, dressed and went to Westlands. She directed me to some building and I thought she probably wanted us to have coffee before proceeding to see her investment. I had spent some time on the internet researching on how to be a successful caretaker so I was very ready.
She picked me at the entrance of the building and led me to the top most floor. “Ah, she is opening a hotel.” I told myself when I saw chefs standing outside and tables filled with snacks and juice. I started walking very close to her to ensure that every one noticed I well knew the hotel owner and we are very close. She told me to proceed and enter some room which I assumed was part of the hotel as she stopped to talk to someone. I found myself inside a hall filled with people who were listening to some presentation.
My friend came in almost immediately and led me to a seat. The presenter was talking about someone who was earning so much money to the point all he was doing was going for holidays all through the year. Something about him being a top performer was mentioned. Few other slides of people who had achieved equal amount of success were shown as everyone in the hall kept gasping in awe and clapped. I also clapped although I had no idea why I was clapping.
After they were through with the slides, a group of people were called to go in front of the class and one by one they explained how they had joined the group by paying some fee, worked hard and managed to recruit a lot of people who also paid joining fees. They were now earning a lot of money from their hard work to the point all of them had quit from their day jobs and were spending a lot of their time going for holidays and dining at five star hotels. I took time to observe the speakers and could not fail to notice that one had a chipped nail, another one had a torn shirt, another one had a suit that looked two sizes bigger and I, for a moment, thought that being their personal stylists would be such a perfect business idea. I kept imagining the number of visits I would make to the salon and designer clothes I could own if I had the amount they claimed to earn. I then remembered reading somewhere that the rich do not like wasting their money on such vain things as they are busy investing, so I stopped judging. As people who wanted to join the investment were called to take photos, I also stood up and I left for my house. Just like other business ideas, I also failed to understand this. I left it for those who know better.
As the pressure to lose weight increase, I have decided to do it a day at a time. Birthday week is still on but from the look of things bad behavior ended with the cake. The scale says I have added two kilograms. That was expected bearing in mind my current hairstyle and the fact that I have not been exercising but I will get there. I will soon be tormenting some souls with my before and after photos. I promise.