Touch

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By Hanafi Kaka | Resident Geek

There is this little, smart device you want, even though you don’t know it yet. It’s a small creature. Tiny enough to fit in any pocket. You can take it with you everywhere; kiss it goodnight, sing sad love songs to it, hang it on your neck with a manila rope, take it to Mauritius for the holidays and tag it in all your Facebook pictures. Hell, you will even take it home to Machakos to meet your mother.

I’ve been banging my head to the wall for the last week, trying to come up with a very sexy name for it. The little geeks I have chained in my basement could have gone hungry tonight if they couldn’t come up with a cool name to easily blurb out as social currency, but they did their best. And they are all getting ginger biscuits for supper. Yaaay!

Ladies, gentlemen (and Magunga). . . meet TOUCH.

SanDisk call theirs the DUAL USB DRIVE TYPE C. It’s a mouthful obviously, but we are cool here. We like our floors made of black marble and our whisky served in chilled glasses. We don’t wear pink; we go black for mystery. Grey for sexy. And sometimes red, just for attention. So we shall call it TOUCH.

It’s a small device that works both ways as a flash disk (Americans, read flash drive) and as a memory card.

On one end, you can connect it to your comp. Drag-drop music, videos, documents, FBI files and pictures of hot chicken wings that you just can’t eat anymore because you had a clot once (Haha, had to say that).  On the other end, you can connect it to your phone with the tiny metallic part like your USB charger has. Files can go both ways. Careful not to confuse it with USB-OTG (USB ON THE GO), which is basically a long wire that allows you to connect your flash to your comp, like they have in most cyber cafes. This is actually a flash that connects to your computer and your phone.

At first it may sound like the stupidest thing ever invented, because who needs TOUCH when you already have a million other options, right? But this thing is invaluable, especially to the many of us who have to send a hundred email attachments to a hundred million people every day, individually.

You can’t be in the office all day, and you can’t carry your computer with you everywhere. You will become a meme sooner than you can say bikozulu. So, while you have to run errands and carry your whole documents folder with you everywhere, you do it with TOUCH. No wires, no weight. And most importantly, no filling your phone/tablet with loads of work documents that take up much needed space for your laughing babies and talking dogs WhatsApp videos. It has 32GB portable memory, and USB 3.0

Now, SanDisk makes reliable techies, the only complaint most people have is that SanDisk gadgets copy slower than others. But I will recommend it anyway.

Every tech store I asked around, their fake geeks have no name for it. So you have to walk in and pretend you’ve always known it’s manufacturer’s label, probably some long name with numbers and decimals that numb your tongue just from saying it out loud. But you could always say you want a Touch, and someone might just ask you: Deep tissue or just regular?