Cannabis

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Wamuyu, a 22-year architectural student from a local university emailed me and asked me what I thought about smoking weed and if weed helps with creativity. Apparently his peers who are “super creative” [his words] are potheads.  He then asked me if I smoke weed because [and I quote], “sometimes you write crazy things that are, quite honestly, ‘suspect’- no offence, sir…”

Of course.  None was taken.

In fact, I chose to take that as a compliment- but even more importantly I took it as a story. And because the world is smoky with stories about weed, here is my cannabis experience. No judging here.

Like all weed stories start, mine starts circa 2008 when I first met the big-maned Emmanuel Jambo, photographer extraordinaire. He had just relocated from the States. I was writing for the now defunct male title, ADAM magazine, when he joined as one of the magazine’s photographers. Dreadlocked, massive personality, booming laughter and looming in height, Emmanuel left mirth on every surface he touched. Together we did tons of out-of-town assignments. We were both young, brazen and hungry to leave a mark; him with light, me with ink. This was way before he started taking pictures of presidents and nuptials, a time when he used to call himself  “Chocolate Thunder.” This was even before he got a PA who now picks your calls and says, “He’s in a shoot. Who shall I say called?”

“Tell him it’s Biko.”

“Does he have your number?”

“I’m not sure anymore. That shithead.”

“Uhm…I will pass on the message.”

“You do that, don’t forget the ‘shithead,’ part.”

Not all dreadlocked people smoke weed but Jambo does and he’s never been shy to admit it. In fact, when I interviewed him seven years later he wasn’t shy to say it in a national paper in this interview.  

http://www.businessdailyafrica.com/magazines/Meet-photographer-who-gets-the-glint-in-Uhuru-s-eye/1248928-2814492-fg3sfqz/index.html He said weed helps with his creativity. It quiets things. It’s how he separates his wheat from his chaff.

I have smoked weed – not more than four times in my life. Guess who handed me my very first blunt?  Yup, Jambo. You could say he broke my weed-virginity, but you are not going to say such things here. It was inevitable, really, you hang out with a wolf sooner rather than later you will learn to howl. So it was coming. But I wasn’t even lured by the novelty of weed, I was seduced by the starlit skies, drums and a full moon.

I will explain.

In 2009 or thereabout, Sarova Group of Hotels sent a big group of journalists to their property in Shaba: Sarova Shaba Game Lodge in the “Born Free” country. Tremendous place. This was a time the gregarious Peter Waweru [now in banking] was the marketing pointman of Sarova and he would throw many of those familiarization media trips. We lived for those media trips. The government then had not homed in on alcohol and started taxing it sinfully hence there was always a river of free flowing booze during those excavations. And Sarova was always a generous host, going the whole nine yards to make us have a whale of a time.

At Shaba they set up an elaborate sundowner by the ragged  shores of Ewaso Nyiro River and thrust cocktails, whiskies and perspiring beers in our hands as we watched the sun set beyond, the brown river gurgling and murmuring at our unfolding hedonism. After darkness descended we were driven back to the lodge for a sumptuous garden dinner – white tablecloths, hot hand-towels and hanging from a starlit sky  a full moon so big we could smell its craters.  Meanwhile maasai morans, hummed and leaped all around us as we stuffed our kissers with grilled meats and drunk like Vikings, laughing loudly and making merry in the warm night. It was a mystical night and there was never a single doubt in our minds that we would remain young forever.

After dinner the responsible, then moderate and finally the pious amongst us slowly retired to their rooms for a shut-eye while the rest of us remained behind to wring everything from this special night the Good Lord of Abraham had offered. Structure quickly disintegrated. The unspoken pecking order that might have been there at the start of the trip (TV journalists always feel like they are at the top of the food chain) collapsed and by 10pm we were just people, not even journalists, people sitting around a fire holding tipples. I found myself in this circle where weed was being passed around and since I was seated next to Jambo he puffed it and passed it to me and I said, “Nah,” and he said, “Pussy”, laughing and passed it to the lady who was to my left. Those were my troubled days when I used to drink red wine. I was so pretentious I used to pick wine by regions (sic… Chilean, South African, French) not by the labels and price.    

I said no to weed because growing up smoking weed was never a recreational activity. Cool kids wore checked shirts and Air Jordan sneakers, and never smoked weed. Weed, then was for social misfits and miscreants, low-lives and school drop-outs, vagabonds and those who had resigned themselves to a life of despair. Weed was the face of truancy. Growing up my neighbour, Peter, who used to smoke weed, ran cuckoo at some point, walked around without clothes for a bit and later died from disease that might have been related to weed or not. In fact, in hindsight, mental illness was as misunderstood as weed was at that time. Then there was my mother who would hang you upside down on a tree and flog your shirtless back if you so much as said hello to any boy in the estate who was rumoured to be smoking weed.

So growing up weed was the devil. It made you mad.

I always thought if I smoked it I would start seeing my ancestors – Jo-K’Owiny and Joka-Jok – who would ask me why I had turned my back on our culture and I’d plead that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I was afraid weed would then make me see this elder with wrinkled elbows that resembled  a tortoise chin and who would scream at me, “Ifuo!” but because he has seven missing teeth it would sound like, “ihuwo”. He would say, “You have forsaken your people! You don’t go back to the village, you have refused to remove your teeth, you name your children after the enemy! And worst of all you cut your foreskin!” Then I’d plead that I’d done no wrong, that a rose called by any other name would still smell as good. He would spit at my feet and say, “Arosi to ngawa?” Then someone with a spear would come and yank down my trousers and my boxers and a whole bunch of chaps from Acholiland would gather around me and peer at my “disfigured” member, some pointing at it with their spears and shaking their heads at the complete and utter disgrace I had become.  

I thought weed would make me hallucinate.

Back in Shaba, the sky was aflame, the moon was the size of Uganda and the air was fresh and heavily scented with Night-blooming Jasmine. Fireflies skirted before our eyes. There was music now playing from a small portable dj booth. It was a perfect night to try something new because we felt invincible,  there was nothing youth wouldn’t fix. So the next time the blunt reached Jambo I extended my hand and he placed it gingerly between my forefinger and thumb. “Drag it between your teeth,” he said and I did, skeptically and then passed it to the lady, a newscaster no less. I sat still and waited. For what, I don’t know.  Jambo laughed, that voluptuous laughter filled with helium. “You are now a man.” he lauded.  

I waited to see my ancestors but none came. Nobody came. When it passed again, I took another cautious puff. Nothing happened yet again. I’m told that some people laugh uncontrollably when they smoke weed. I wasn’t finding anything funny.  In fact, I was getting seriously drowsy. So sleepy I wanted to lie on my back on the grass and stare at the moon. And maybe sing a lullaby. And I would have done this because this was pre-Ghafla/ Mpasho days and tabloid journalism had not taken a foothold. After three puffs I got so sleepy, I sneaked out of that party and walked to my room. At Shaba there are these wooden bridges that go over a small man-made water body. I stopped on the bridge and tried to stare at my reflection in the green water. The croaking frogs sounded louder in my head.

I remember lying in bed in my underwear, my mouth as dry as a joke on Churchill Live on a bad night. I didn’t count sheep. I slipped into a deep comatose sleep devoid of dreams of the consciousness of turning over on your side.

The second time I smoked weed was maybe six years later in Kigali. I smoked it at a party and yet again got so sleepy I slept all the way in the car to the hotel while the rest took the party to the club. I remember the effect of that weed; everything I looked at resembled a pillow. I just wanted to sleep.

I can’t speak for other people in the creative space but weed doesn’t make me feel creative. It just makes me lethargic and sleepy  and there is nothing creative with sleep, with closing one’s eyes. I hardly ever write while intoxicated and if I do it’s an incoherent pile of manure, embarrassing to look at the next day sober.

But what do I know about creativity and weed, I will allow the weed-heads in this forum advice you. Let’s see what the smoke brings out.

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245 Comments
    1. Recently, I ate a mango when I was high. Apart from a jug of water, it was the only other thing in my fridge when the munchies hit (bachelor woes). I looked at it and it looked back at me. All orange with green freckles scattered around its surface. After giving it a quick wash, I started peeling it with a knife. Before I had completely broken its surface with the knife, I paused and started debating with myself. On one hand, my mum, being the mum she is, has over time managed to successfully freak me about fruit surfaces that are full of chemical fertilisers that don’t wash off completely and could lead to stomach cancer…or some other cancer. On the other hand, the munchies were telling me the skin was edible and in my current state, I didn’t want to be wasting any of that mango. The munchies won and I threw away the knife, grabbed the scrub for the dishes and vigorously washed that mango. By the time I was done, its surface looked bruised and I was confident I had rid it of these cancer-inducing fertilisers.

      I then took my first bite and discovered something I didn’t know before. There was a choir in my mouth. A professional opera choir. Not sure if that’s a thing but let’s work with it. When my teeth sank into that mango and pulled the first big chunk of flesh from it, the mouth choir burst into song. Songs of praise and worship at the fireworks going on in my mouth. My teeth quivered at the orgasm happening in my mouth and my eyeballs lost all sense of symetry as they spun around their sockets, instantaneously drunk from the sensations going on in my mouth region.

      With the second chew on the chunk in my mouth, the juices slid down my teeth and met my gums. Instant chemistry. You know how it is when you meet a person and as soon as you lay your eyes upon them, you instantaneously know you want to manufacture babies with them. To hell with intellectual stimulation, how they treat other humans and oba their heart….wapi, the chemistry you experience with this person is the kind nuclear weapons are made of. That’s what was happening between that mango juice and my gum. When the juice slid down to that space between the tongue and the base of the mouth, I peed on myself a little and my nostrils started flaring like those of a horse that’s just done a gallop from Mombasa to Kigali. The choir in my mouth was now hitting notes that would make adele feel like giving up music and exploring her career options as a ballet dancer.

      My spinning eyes paused for a second as they caught a trail of juice making its way down my arm down my elbow. The alarm bell went off all over my body. Food was being wasted. Unacceptable. I brought my elbow to my mouth and licked the juice away. Where did it think it was going? While I was savouring the efficiency of my quick reflexes. I noticed that one drop had escaped and was now chilling on the floor, happy with the fact that it wasn’t going to pass through my digestive system and end up as urine. I almost took up the challenge but thankfully, even with my heights, I knew I couldn’t wash the germs off a drop of juice, and licking it off the floor would make look like one of those people that go bananas due to weed. No priz. I was too steady for this.

      By the time I reached the base of the mango, I was convinced that mangoes were the 8th wonder of the world. Mangoes held the key to happiness. I sucked on that seed with so much intensity you’d have thought it was a boob (non-lesbian females, feel free to insert what works for you here. Eh, the punnage in that last sentence is the stuff of mangoes). The bu hardcore mango threads that hang around the seed were stripped of their juiciness by my insistent lips. My moustache and beards were all orange now. Gone were my worries about wastage. My focus was now on consuming this goodness as fast and thoroughly as possible. At certain points, it was difficult to swallow because my body was not built to handle this sensory stimulation in one go. It was like having a stroke of sweetness. But I persevered and sucked that mango dry. You know how the seeds look after you leave them in the sun to dry? Yeah, that’show this one looked when I was done with it. Even the ant’s that had been chilling around, waiting for me to place it down so they could carry it off to have a fist gave up after some time and went back to the palace to report that everyone would be eating their saliva for supper. It’s like I was afraid Jesus was going to return just so that he could tap ko on my mango. *sigh.

      Then there was that time a friend and I consumed a loaf of bread without any liquid assistance. We just ate slice after slice till the loaf was done. There not even butter between the slices to spice things up.

      In conclusion, cannabis makes me really hungry and food tastes much better under the influence. You can imagine how bad it gets the few times I’ve consumed this stuff when it’s cooked with food. And then the munchies make their entrance and the only food available is the spiked food.

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      1. Roland do you happen to have a blog? I would quickly follow you there to read your thoughts. You are just too hilarious. Weed and food huh? I see….

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  1. I’ve never smoked weed on purpose.
    I might have inhaled some second-hand smoke in college but that wasn’t enough to warrant saying I partook of the Devil’s Cabbage. But good on you, Biko. Thanks for taking one (or four) for the team.

    In related news, the best kind of weed is pigweed (Terere).

    https://thispostisabout.wordpress.com

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    1. hahahaha…. never thought of taking it. not even a puff .. but now i’m curious!! i mean… i have sleeping problems so *shrugs*

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  2. Am on my way to Nakuru I just got high to enjoy the road scenery there . Bon voyage and merci bouqupe for thé read

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  3. Back in KU, one Ben walked from Wendani to KU kifua tupu on the highway at 1am. ‘It felt good’.

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  4. Finally,something I can comment on. I have recently taken to active consumption of THC,under the pretence of experimenting its medicinal(sedative) qualities. Truthfully,I do enjoy a blunt more than whisky. I’ve recently come down with a bad cold,so when I get home in the evening, I eat,smoke then fall into such a deep sleep that no cough will wake me. It slows my system down,and for anyone that lives a fast life,that’s a blessing.
    About creativity,it’s only so good when you’re awake. “Nindo tek tero janeko”. I know I have had my craziest and most wonderful thoughts while under the influence but it’s quite a task documenting these for later use when all I wanna do is lay down. It could be thought-inspiring,but your thoughts are no good if you’re asleep.
    PS: It always raises the libido. ALWAYS.

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    1. You know that you should explain further the libido bit of it, don’t you? It deserved to be the comment, not some almost forgotten PS.

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    2. We are twins. When life gets too much for me, the holy herb slows it all down so I can see things more clearly. As a bonus, it makes me as horny as hell. It was not that good the very first time. I must have taken an overdose, and I was filled with this dreadful fear that I was going to swallow my tongue and I had to hold it vice-like for kindu 30 minutes. I really thought I was going to die.

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      1. Yea, my first experience was awful. I had weird thoughts of Nirvana and just distasteful details of the abstract thoughts. I stick to one spliff,and voila!

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      2. Hahaha Made my night.. Ati hold your tongue for 30 minutes … Hahaha. I had an overdose one time on edibles and i puked my insides out, literally, in my panic i concluded my dealer was a witch out to Kill / finish me and that they had been giving me the good stuff just to gain my confidence

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    3. Hahaha.I always shun away from it.The smell of it is repulsive and makes my stomach churn.Many of my mates smoke it and their endless chatter in the midst of it always temps me to indulge in it.I fear my libido levels will hit the roof.Haha.

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    4. Raises libido.. .yes… .
      But try having sex with a stoned guy….hmmm slow motion but to him anajiona ferrari… .

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      1. hahaha.. dead.. slow motion and in his mind a ferrari…..nimecheka na slow motion. my week is officially done..

        I tried it in my teenage and laughed my head off. eat ugali like nobody’s business. God is great I ain’t touching it again
        My friend I used to smoke with is a village villain and he now begs 10 bob from whoever cares to give, washes hotels for a glass of tea na mandanci as we used to call them in Meru.. Bangi! NUH.

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    5. Oh my gosh yes! Weed simply mellows me down and all I feel is peace, relaxation and a major rise in libido. Weed is the best.

  5. Same effect as yours Biko. Dry lips. No hunger pangs. No feel good effect. None of those fancy head rush they (potheads) talk about. Precisely why I prefer booze. Just the liver to worry about. Lungs, sanit…dried up lips. Woi!!

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  6. Hmm, the last time I smoked weed I snapped at someone, laughed my head off and cried. Then ate like I was eating for the first time ever and I had two stomachs that needed filling asap

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  7. I was raised SDA. In the deep villages of Kapsabet. To date, I am still convinced that a puff will make me insane (yes, not high) for seven years. Two puffs and I will have a perfect twin in Jacob who tendered sheep for 14 years. But Nyeri happened. Dedan Kimathi chaps mixed weed with any thing ingestible. Guys would smoke weed for a lecture, then smoke it for lack of a lecture. Then smoke it for sleep, then later smoke it for lack of sleep. Then smoke it because HELB delayed, then smoke it because there is HELB. Then smoke it because the semester had just began and lectures aren’t tight yet, then smoke it because the semester is tight.
    Weed ni mboga tu. I was brainwashed back then, though I’m yet to break my weedginity.
    Every mad or rude or epileptic or bipolar or drunk or arrogant fella was said to have puffed at some point in Nairobi and that’s when their wits went haywire.

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    1. Haha it was widely believed that it took seven years for a puff to get out of your system. Lies.

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      1. Peter, my comment has nothing to do with the Weed – I choose to see no evil, speak no evil, hear not evil or smoke it.

        But I happened by your Blog from here. And I loved reading your pieces. Though I should come back to let you know! Cheers

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    2. Guys would smoke weed for a lecture, then smoke it for lack of a lecture…
      Why now? why would they smoke for a lecture?

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      1. You haven’t read yet if you didn’t come across “quadratic decomposition of third order equations using eigen vector variables of ‘nth’ order matrix”. That calculus three didn’t laugh with potheads. I managed to hold on by diligently keeping the sabbath and doing morning preps in campus. (Now this makes me miss my SMP tables and calculator.)

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  8. Hehehe… after reading this one thing is for sure, ifuo! I do not have any experience with weed but i have seen crazy things people do once they have smoked the herb. For instance, there is this chap who used to tell us of his encounter with Moses of the Bible. Dude was like ” Ndio huyo sasa anakuja na burning chariot mdogo mdogo. Ndio huyo amefika sasa. ” He would then scream and just lay down and start singing the song of Moses. He would hallucinate on a daily basis. He passed on unfortunately. I do not know whether weed was the cause of his death.

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    1. Lol… This somehow reminds of my brother. His name was Moses. That scene you described, he had almost similar stories when high. He passed on too; weed plus other hard drugs.

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    2. hahaahhaha,Cliff the tall and DH, I have never puffed, would love to try but such stories scare me. Cliff the tall and DH

    3. Hehehe…

      Wewe Cliff , weed does not kill.

      Though it has been proven to make certain people sillier than normal.

    4. whats with weed and Moses? some guy told me he smoked weed for the first time,,he saw Moses. He came up to him with the 10 commandment tablet and told him to go tell the people to stop abusing the “holy plant”

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      1. ati ‘re-creation’ of the ten commandments for Anti-Weed crusaders?,….hahahahahah!!!! jinga wewe….

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      2. Ai, lol…..weed and Moses again! Never tried and seems I might not. Let’s leave Moses where we left him.

    5. @cliff, funny but sad. Now see what you done. Am never gonna try this. Maxi respect for our Jamaican brothers ( and sisters). They handle well.

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  9. Biko you have written this before in this same forum. I have been reading since you wrote knickers and this is a repeat piece.

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    1. Yeah, he did, I think back in 2012. When he used to run over people with his car. Whatever happened to that lawyer guy Kuria?

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      1. He promised to name his son (If he ever got one) Kuria…God gave him a son, he named him KIM. Kuria is watching!

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  10. Calling cannabis weed only gives it a fancy name. My mum calls it bhangi and it is from the devil and will make you mad. That lesson was inculcated to deep by my mum for me to become a pot head the one time i did try it, I could swear I was being taken to mathare. To afraid to ever try it again.

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  11. The day Uncle Mutua lands here, you will be shut down for “spreading bad morals”. Anyway, I have never really smoked weed but I inhale it as a secondary smoker and it just makes me drowsy. Legalise it!

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  12. Wow I see the picture created by the words of how heavenly Shaba is…. one day… one day… I’ll go sit under that sky.
    As for weed I’ll stay a weed virgin by choice

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      1. Yes Sarova Shaba Game Lodge is a magical place to be in.. I have been there for two years and enjoyed every minute of it. Magical days on the banks of the Ewaso Nyiro river, Samburu, Borana and Turkana Dances, eating self salting goats, climbing Natorbe Hill and going drinking in the officer’s mess at SOCE. Those were days when we were kings…

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      2. Yes Sarova Shaba Game Lodge is a magical place to be in.. I have been there for two years and enjoyed every minute of it. Magical days on the banks of the Ewaso Nyiro river, Samburu, Borana and Turkana Dances, eating self salting goats, climbing Natorbe Hill and going drinking in the officer’s mess at SOCE. I did that sundowner and remember taking pictures in the river. We also did the gorge all the way to survivor beach.

        Those were the days we were kings…

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      3. Shaba is truly heavenly. Stayed there for one week last year…. . So serene an environment, briefly disrupted by some rowdy folks from a certain mega pharmaceutical on a team building mission ….high on booze and other drugs. All in all, an experience worth experiencing

  13. My first (and only) puff made me laugh uncontrollably I thought I was going mad. The cloud nine they talk about, that puff took me there. But it wasn’t something I wanted to try again. Guess I wasn’t ready for that sort of happiness.
    My brother used to tell us that it made him feel like Commando. Growing up he wanted to be a soldier (it never happened) and I think Cannabis made him feel like one. When high he would walk into a club and start stupid fights with anyone which of course he never won since he was a tiny man. His opponents were always big men. I think the weed turned them into dwarfs in his eyes. One time he even walked into a police station to challenge the big boys into a fight. The rest is history.

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  14. Lots of hate. Weed is the purest gift mother nature offers. Y’all feeling sleepy coz you smoke bush. Get some good strain and you’ll have a different story to tell. Let’s legalize weed!

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    1. Yeah man. Tell them to keep off Bush aka ‘manyaru’ and smoke pure ‘heads’. Pure because it’s almost 100% THC. These funny effects of dry lips and commando syndrome is due to the amount of impurities that they smoke from Bush. They don’t know the bliss they’re missing-church!!

      PS. From what I read in Biko’s posts, he’s a big stoner, I can feel his THC vibe even when he denies it.

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  15. I am not sure of what happens to those of us who’ve never smoked weed. However I do have a friend, of a friend, who everytime he smokes weed repeatedly says, ‘Ndio huyo yohana mweusi ananitembelea.’

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  16. There’s weed, and then there’s weed cookie… If you have the former you are safe, but if you ingest the latter, there’s no limit to how high you can get… My brother, my sister, you will tell tales …

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  17. A friend did it once, dragged his legs for 5km. Apparently the legs were too heavy to lift. The one from Bunyore land is the purest and most lethal.

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  18. I once had an upcoming deejay for a neighbor. He was always high on weed. There is exactly no time he would be sober. His house always had this aroma of weed. Hailing from the same region we fast became friends, being that he looked cool and was always getting lucky with the ladies, I decide to give it a try.
    Well, I started getting lucky too but I don’t think it was out of the weed.
    To date I at times occasionally take weed most so when ladies who take it are in the mix. Who wants to be a pussy?

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  19. I once saw one of our farmhands chew a mattress and swallow small piece by small piece and then when he choke, he took a raw(unripe) avocado to make the process of swallowing easier. Weed is no joke.

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  20. My problem with weed is abuse. College kids don’t wait for six months to puff, they do it every week, every Friday, heck even every night…weed and sex. I still hold the theory you just said…weed makes you go nuts…but i think I’m wrong because I have passively smoked it for the last few months courtesy of my neighbor and I tend to think I’m an okay human. And he too seems fine other than being overly quiet. Oh and on creativity, i think its not weed that helps, for me dangling feet over my head kinda gets me one a writing coaster. That and wine. Good read Man.

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  21. Actually, I smoked weed for the first time this year, over Easter Holidays. I smoked while drinking, so I could not tell which one is which. All I remember is me being at the party, then me waking up at 3.30am in my bed, Jaber next to me. I have never died before, but waking up felt like resurrection. A headache the size of your forehead thundered for all of two minutes. It was as if my head was the one being pounded in that old Stoney commercial.

    I stayed awake till the next day, half the time wondering if this was hell, and why in hell was I not burning?

    Needless to say, I smoked up in Kapsabet while watching this terrible Nigerian movie. I think this time the headache was from the movie, not the weed.

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    1. Lol.

      If you get headache with weed it means it’s not “pure” has more seeds and less bud. Also it could’ve been laced; encountered a dealer that’d lace his with petrol then dry.

      As much as creativity goes. Meh. I like to be consciously controlling the creative process.

      PS: I survived the weed window period and quit her like a bad relationship.

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  22. I always thought if I smoked it I would start seeing my ancestors – Jo-K’Owiny and Joka-Jok – who would ask me why I had turned my back on our culture and I’d plead that I hadn’t forgotten anything. This sentence here reminds me of my GHC teacher back in Primary School

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  23. I tried it twice; either it was a bad strain or my faculties were on another level, I felt no change.

  24. Weed and creativity, I once saw someone who missed exam bcoz he was told that if he smoked weed they will pass. Creativity comes from knowing what you want

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  25. I prefer to keep my weed encounter experiences private…but the mention of weed always reminds me of a random quote i red…” If the whole world smoked a blunt at the same time, there would be two hours of world peace, followed by a global food shortage”

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  26. Maybe those who want to join the weed dem gang should go to Wikipedia first! I’ll comment again once people get to know and thoroughly understand the difference in that THC system.
    Hash isn’t just compressed weed, neither are blunts just coloured joints, nor are bongs some sophisticated wooden smoking pipes!

  27. Have never tried weed, it has a sharp choking smell that I hate.
    Was Airbnb host to a couple last year. The guy, a swede thought it was a pity as I am ‘domiciled where such substances are legal’ (his words). This said guy was quite condescending and a prick to his lovely Brazilian girlfriend when normal…but when under the influence of marijuana and ‘magic mushrooms’; he was gentle, friendly and considerate. Funny thing..I barely talked to him when he was normal, he made all these revelations when he was having what he termed, a ‘psychedelic high.’
    Another pal, a Brit in his fifties based in Asia, smoked marijuana on a daily basis whilst visiting Europe. He is a freelance sports journalist and shared that he was in some sort of football contest..they had to figure out something about some teams, and somehow he figured it all out, came tops and took home a huge cash prize. Was it the marijuana helping him think clearly, creatively and fill out the right boxes each time? Who knows?

    Picture of cannabis pops..only in Amsterdam.
    https://www.instagram.com/p/BHNR_QQj4Nk/

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    1. First time I visited the Hague, I want strolling downtown and ended up in some area of the city where Cannabis smoke literally blanketed the street. Ok, it may just have been another grey clouds day, but the smell made it seem like someone had literally hosed in the smoke! I freaked out. Thought I was going to pass out on the streets (in hindsight I was probably going to pass out because of holding my breath, haha). I visited the Hague several times after that but confined myself to the malls/shopping district.

  28. I once ate weed cookies given to me by my ex (ex’s from hell lol). He didn’t tell me what they were made of, poor me i thought they were just unique cookies. I’m naturally a laugh-er (loves laughing) but damn!!! after a while i cried till my tears went dry then all sounds had been amplified. Next i took some puffs and got so horny, everything looked hump-able….And is it just me or isn’t weed-sex the best thing since sliced bread was invented. LOL. Needless to say, we broke up but that ex remains among the people you never forget.

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    1. ati laugh-er means loves laughing?that really cracked me up.on a side note,can I date then become your ex in like a week,am from hell too.

      10
      1. Hahaha Jovial would not explain my love for laughing. Laugh-er does it so well.
        Do you smoke weed? Does it make you horny? Are you hump-able *lol* If yes!! Then we can date. Threesome. Me, you and the weed.

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        1. suddenly I really think this should happen real soon.weed happens to be bae and that threesome idea sounds real great to me.actually where you @?

          2
  29. I smoked for slightly over four years, and as a creative I can give some much needed input on this subject. First, weed definitely makes me more creative. I have had some of my best ideas while high – some have made me a lot of money. At first weed used to make me laugh lots, when this subsided it made me focus on my creative process and for two years I rode on that awesome wave of creativity. Weed also helped me with my anxiety.

    As ever, however, the positives slowly subsided and in 2016 I finally realized that there is a reason why this ‘harmless herb’ is called the devil’s lettuce. Eventually I became dependent and I could not go even a day without it, and quitting is almost impossible. Without it, I can’t sleep, eat, or go for more than a day without feeling like life is dull and boring. Weed also turned me into a recluse, unmotivated, and quite slow recently and I just realized I am no longer as witty as I used to be some years back.

    Regardless, I have an addictive personality and I have been hooked to alcohol and cigs in the past and those are way worse. Alcohol will depress you, give you all sorts of illnesses and cigs will kill you. Also, quitting cigs and alcohol is close to impossible.

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    1. That part of somebody yanking your trousers felt like a weedy experience.. ..never smoked, never curious about weed!

      1
    2. I think this is a true representation of the effects of drugs. Other comments are just misleading making weed sound like a fancy drug with no effect at all. Not to mention the pain that families go through trying to get their loved ones back on track and in control of their lives.

      2
  30. I’ve smoked weed on 4 different occassions…it lowered my libido big tymeee yaani and its my girlfriend who had given me on the first 2 occassions! Needless to say i tried it the 3rd time alone to confirm and the 4th time to officially stamp that yezzir imenifanya hivo. Never going down that path again.

    2
  31. There is a CNN documentary “WEED” by Dr. Sanjay Gupta. If you want to learn about weed, its all there.
    PS: Smoke before you watch it, hell of a ride!

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  32. Ifuo!” but because he has seven missing teeth it would sound like, “ihuwo” No it doesn’t make you creative. Lots of paranoia perhaps when zone out for a while. Everything gets exaggerated when you’re high

    1
  33. These days weed has become so popular…people are baking with it.First time I got offered weed I was in Mombasa for a short vacation.Everyone smoked except me and my pal.The Turkish Dude supplying it said he bought it right outside the airport….I thought shit how? Went to visit lamu last year and my host a muslim lady was smoking it right there in her sitting room.I was still too afraid of going mad.I also grew up hearing tales of people who have smoked and gone mad.I also know a neighbour who used to smoke wen I was growing up I think He still smokes and He is very sane. So out of curiosity sometimes last month asked my pal to get me a joint.I smoked and felt nothing,just the smell filled the room.

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  34. Great read! The imagery is so vivid I could see it all
    You should be glad biko that the weed didn’t work for you because for those whom it does, its never a happy ending for them.

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  35. Your comment*Hahaha.I always shun away from it.The smell of it is repulsive and makes my stomach churn.Many of my mates smoke it and their endless chatter in the midst of it always temps me to indulge in it.I fear my libido levels will hit the roof.Haha.

    1
  36. My uncle smokes it. He started smoking it in his high school days and he’s still going strong on it.
    During those days, he would take two of his friends and disappear into the orchard behind the home. What ensued was a series of incoherrent stories punctuated with bursts of laughter. He had planted so much weed in the banana plantation tha the cargo was never in short supply all the year round.
    One day, my grandpa noticed that his son was growing weed. He went inside the banana farm and uprooted everything. Well, that is the day I noticed weed was not Vegetable.
    My uncle got wind of what was happening at home and came back so fast. He seized his father (my grandpa) by the scruff and lifted him to the air. When he came back down, my uncle hit him hard on the balls and the old man screamed like a baby.
    My grandma, who was weeding by then, heard the commotion and came running to help her husband. My uncle piled her together with grandpa and continued beating them. He was slapping them in turns as they wailed for help.
    My cousins and I just stood there trasfixed, wondering what was happening. We were tiny kids who were still eating “slept ugali” at home while people went to school or work. I had not started going to school but the scene is still fresh in my memory.
    My grandpa mourned his testicles for many years after that incident and continued to curse his son until the time of his demise.
    My uncle still lives but his story can be told in episodes.
    Even though weed produces hemp, I don’t think it is strong enough a fiber to weave social morals.

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  37. You know, they might as well just make it legal, then tax the hell out of it…

    Ps; Hungry, it makes one very, very hungry

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  38. It depends on the strain and quality of the joint, Biko. I smoked a specific strain once (or twice) and came up with super creative ideas for some writing…

    1
  39. Weed smells worse than the bottom of a shamba boy’s gumboots. Mad respect to anyone who smokes that sh*t. That said, it should be legalised. All that other junk should be legalised too. Darwin’s theory of natural selection will take care of things.

    1
    1. One can vape weed now. There’s pure, gel-like weed to use in pens. No smell at all. Can smoke it near cops and they’d think it’s an e-cigarette.

      2
  40. I tried twice and all it gave me was a splitting headache. I bake myself weed cakes once in a while but they never have an effect on me.

  41. hehehehehehe……so thats y we say stuff like ihuo instead of ifuo…..mauta instead of mafuta……. now i know

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  42. great word play man!.about weed,you just needed a little honing the sleeping pass(its for pussies,amateurs and lame niggers) right now you would be spotting dreadlocks,may be seated with Jambo taking a puff,cooling steam and getting super creative.

    1
  43. This one time my cousin and I were invited to a birthday party in Utawala. No one bothered to tell us we were being served weed cake. At around 1am the owner of the club said that we were too rowdy and loud and decided it was time for us leave so he turned of the lights. Bhangi si sambusa, we refused to leave. Ever heard of dancehall acapella? Neither had I before that night. Kidogo kidogo cops are busting in throwing rungus at anyone and everyone. Kila mtu mbio and cousin and I end up in someone’s shamba. Our host is not picking up her phone, there are no matatus at this hour and we don’t know anyone else in Utawala. My friend, we walked from Utawala to Cabanas.
    Never doing weed again.

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  44. The first time I smoked weed was at a party in first year. I got so hungry I made ugali at 4am!

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  45. Interesting read, and interesting comments!

    My expat bosses used to smoke it every morning before reporting to work (as always leaked to the drivers by the house helps, and told to the rest of us by the drivers) and they remained sane for the five years we worked together. A friend’s neighbour, a military guy, smokes it everyday at his backyard and yet another friend’s manfriend ( a fully loaded, in all aspects “notable and respectable” dude in the society)swears by weed and smokes it every day.
    My observation, weed has different effects on different people. If you try it and you feel like “your head is leaving you”, wachana nayo!

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  46. There is now one path to calling up creativity its a lone some craft writing and other creation, to each unto his own I guess.

  47. Allow me to tell my weed story here because finally, you’ve given me the platform and to say that I have never wanted to share would be a lie. It is 2014, I am soon turning 26 and half the things on my bucket-list are not even done…at least not most of the fun stuff. I have a two year old and am in a pretty boring but serious relationship and this means that doing 26 year old things like following the rugby team from town to town and dating a mnyore or even going for safari rally in skimpy shorts and getting stupid drunk are among the things I cannot do anymore because of the responsibilities that parenting and serious relationships come with.
    Back to my weed story; so as I sit there thinking to myself how I have basically wasted my youth i realize that there actually is one thing I could do that would be fun….and discreet. Smoke weed-BOOM!!!
    I start preparing for my weed party that should happen on my 26th birthday weeks in advance. For starters, where do I find my weed and secondly where do I smoke it? Definitely not in a house with a toddler, so where?!
    First of all I contract colleagues to go forth and find me cannabis….wrong move, luckily it does not backfire on me. One of my lady colleagues; lets call her mama Africa promptly delivers…. a joint at KES.50 which I am willing to fork out considering I have no clue of the market rates and going fees. She delivers 4 joints and begs me not to smoke them all at once….hehehe, we’ll see about that.
    My birthday rolls in and I am ready to get high, God knows I have been eyeing this stash of mine for weeks now and I cannot wait to smoke it! Never mind I have no particular expectation of how I should feel when or after smoking it but me being me, I have researched, googled and even almost provided questionnaires for renowned potheads to fill. I think I am ready.
    First I get dolled up to go out for a few drinks with friends, but before I leave the house, I head out to the balcony to smoke my first joint. As I am sitting outside huffing and puffing away like google said I should I notice the watchie looking at me from down stairs. I get all paranoid and start thinking he will call the cops on me so I kill the blunt and rush back inside to brush my teeth which smell like a freshly cut bush in Maragua and spray my clothes as a way to destroy evidence. As I get back inside I notice my house-girl looking at me funny and Jesus am I just ready to beg her not to rat me out in case the police come calling, before I make my confession though I realize shes staring at my pocket. Oh man! my half smoked weed didn’t burn out completely when I killed it, blunt just went and burnt a hole in my jeans and what shes staring at is the smoke coming from my pocket…shit!
    Clearly I need to change, so I change clothes and leave for the club. At the club I sneak into the washroom after a few drinks with friends and smoke a new blunt…my second in the night. Clearly I am still paranoid from the first joint as I am avoiding the smoking zone because am thinking the smell of weed can very easily be detected from miles so I am stuck in the toilet booth with all the nasty smell and my weed….
    Now I can basically say this is my first cannabis experience. As I smoke that blunt i get this amazing feeling like the top of my head is popping off one hole at a time. You know that sound flames make when the jiko is ready? those tu sparks that come from the jiko when you’re lighting it….yes, ‘mathande’! Thats what i feel in my head. Little pop sounds like an unused part of my brain is popping open.
    I go back to my crowd and I am pensive as hell….deep in thought, feeling that i just reconnected with the introvert in me and I could use some peace and quiet. All that club noise suddenly feels like its a faraway thing in my mind, my friends are laughing at all the silly things and I cannot stand them…so I leave, I take a cab and leave my own party just to go home and be alone…just so I can sleep…..
    I don’t know about creativity but for me cannabis quietens the noise, allows me to put my thoughts together, and sleep better. I cannot even explain the kind of sleep that weed induces, it makes you feel so calm and put together.

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    1. As I am sitting outside huffing and puffing away like google said I should I notice the watchie looking at me from down stairs. I get all paranoid and start thinking he will call the cops on me so I kill the blunt and rush back inside to brush my teeth which smell like a freshly cut bush in Maragua and spray my clothes as a way to destroy evidence. As I get back inside I notice my house-girl looking at me funny and Jesus am I just ready to beg her not to rat me out in case the police come calling, before I make my confession though I realize shes staring at my pocket. Oh man! my half smoked weed didn’t burn out completely when I killed it, blunt just went and burnt a hole in my jeans and what shes staring at is the smoke coming from my pocket

      That para right there got me rolling in the office. You are nuts! And you should write more .

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  48. Smoking weed is akin to being gay. It’s something that the society has a wrong or over-exaggerated opinion on – I think
    P.S : I am a straight African soul!

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  49. The first time I smoked weed I skinny dipped in a ‘public’ pool with a rando guy…The next time I had a threesome. Haha, clearly it makes me do ballsy stuff…Then I fall into a deep undisturbed sleep. One thing I will say though,, smoking weed can make you brave enough to do stuff you wouldn’t otherwise be caught dead doing. Great fun though!

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  50. Smoking Weed with different ideas.What do you expect????Kosokoso………You get it definitely.

  51. “…………….during those excavations.” Must have still been sleepy while writing this 🙂 Excursions perhaps?

    Great piece though…………..

  52. The dry mouth…

    The slit eyes…

    The fatigue….

    I can relate. I have never seen Joka-Jok though. Plus my heartbeats multiply

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  53. A puff or two of cannabis after a long day on a chilly night watching the stars is how I wind my days. You have to be creative naturally to feel that creative part of cannabis… Nice piece Biko.:-)

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  54. My friend gave me a weed cookie in first year (I thought it was a normal one). That night, I watched a cartoon in my head speaking gibberish that I could somehow understand. Later I started singing loudly and horribly because in my head I was in front of a large crowd cheering me on. I then passed out for 48 hours. NEVER AGAIN!

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  55. First time I got high was in campus, we had this ‘ thugy’ group which we named ‘bangkok’ some dude brought us some I tried acting cool as we did pass it along which I think made me overdose … I was turned on like hell and did stuff that am not proud of to say here…

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    1. Eddu, hahaha finally someone who mentions and has experienced that weed makes one horny hahaha.
      I think weed gives a kind of bravery to do some stuff you wouldn’t be caught doing if you were sober.

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    1. being a wamuyu myself i thought maybe he referred that as a surname like e.g samuel wanjiru kind of situation to the above named student…otherwise its a typo.

  56. Marijuana and philosophy are not disciplines for every Harry. Then you don’t mix this stuff with alcohol. Might end up naked gardening everyday.

  57. Grateful that my first, and only joint, was such a weak plant that I had no interest in ever trying it again.

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  58. Hahaha…! This weed feedback is hilarious. Personally, I have never thought of smoking weed. I am weedophobic. In my days as a young lad, there was this guy who was a living example of good brains gone to waste; courtesy of weed smoking. The lesson was repeated so many times that it became gospel truth.
    But come to think of it, I don’t trust my campus buddies. There is this guy who used to carry weed in a two kilogram jogoo packet. He would always buy a new packet of “jogoo”, empty the contents by pouring away the now valuable commodity and use the container for packaging weed. Now you can imagine the amount of weed he used to stuff. The crook would actually used weed as a substitute for tea leaves. And before I realised, I had taken a few cups of what he called “strong herbal tea”. Shetani ashindwe…!

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  59. What if we organized a Weedinity to break the virginity of all those weed virgins?

    I can chair this comittee

  60. Weed reacts differently depending on the human body and I think genes. I remember back in campus there was a chap who literally ‘chewed’ weed seeds and you wouldn’t notice at all.
    I always feel that the day I will weed I will walk naked! Luckily, I have never seen the motivation to try it out!

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  61. Your comment*The first time i got a taste of it was
    when i hand just landed in india….away from the best mother who can even tell if you are thinking about the herbs. we had a freshers party and as the norm with we kenyans …nyama choma in lazima.
    so i puff the wholly stuff the next i remember is blurred they mixed lots of shit
    they had to take a video of me singing all night.starting with ali kiba to kartel…..i still got the video hidden

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  62. weed has become so mainstream that our caretaker has put up a notice on pur gate warning us that we prohibited from smoking weed in the premises. I think every tenant there -except me ofcourse – is a marijuana user.

  63. THC makes me feel dumb, slow and paranoid. i opt to quit because i have never liked the feeling. however some of my friends get creative, they’ll come up with wordplays that are so bomb, ideas that never cropped up when they were
    ‘normal’. i think it makes you feel however you thought you’d feel if you took it.

    1
  64. my girlfirend smokes weed like hell. the good thing is that she does it only whn indoors not while parting. that thing makes her horny to the core. whenever she does smoke, i am sure that i will get like 5 rounds of sex that night. she rides like crazy while high. she is the reason i love weed. i dont smoke it though.

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  65. Done weed twice.Both times i was disappointment because i only did two puffs and was afraid it would lipukia me.I giggled kidogo but that was it. maybe ill smoke a whole joint next time and see.but sasa na watoto….aaaargh sigh!

  66. The first time I smoked weed,sorry..chewed, my head was so heavy i couldn’t support it’s weight so i just slept. I was in class..high school. I slept for 12hours. I vowed to never try it again. It’s been 10 years plus so am sure it left my system. Never again

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  67. Weed is good Biko. Weed will make you see things normal people don’t (when you take you weed you are not normal, you are super normal). And then there’s the munchies…man I eat like with weed in the system. Its like everything tastes good. Also, the libido part is true.

  68. Well….I have smoked week and ingested weed cookies before. I think weed cookies are the worst!

  69. I smoked weed once. And a lot happened that night. I felt like I was flying, I was too happy and free.
    I wouldn’t do it again as that level of joy and freedom is scary to me.

  70. This is what made Anto to throw away beef stew coz sufuria hiyo moja ndio ilikua safi na he wasnt done with preparing ugali……….
    .pika nyama mwaga …pika uagali( hostel cronicals)

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  71. Growing up i used to hear tales of weed and had no idea how it looked like. Finally at 23, after my undergraduate, i saw it and thought, “why does it look like a primitive version of a cigarette?” 🙂 I had 2 puffs and my throat was dry. And i thought, “so this is it?” A year later, at 24, I found myself in between jobs and had so much time in my hands. I briefly dated my friend’s brother who was so good looking (good looking men generally put me off because i tend to think they are into themselves) and the only reason i agreed to go out with him was because he fancied me and he was a cool 5 years older than i was, while my ex was only 2 years older :). So, he invited me to his place and told me he had weed and asked if i had smoked before. I told him i had, but had nothing worth writing home about. He asked if i wanted to smoke again and i said, “why not?” I had one of the best orgasms this particular night and i don’t know if the weed was responsible or it was the discovery that the good looking guy wasn’t actually an arsehole as i had thought. I never smoked again after this night and comfortably ticked it off the bucket list

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  72. Weed makes me hungry and reflective when i indulge occasionally,luckily my moral compass has never spinned south.

  73. Group therapy : a form of psychotherapy in which a group of patients meet to describe and discuss their problems together under the supervision of a therapist.

    All these weed stories! Not judging, but the comments sure read like group therapy. Who is the therapist???

    1
  74. I did weed once;couple of years ago back in campus. I was big on booze then; drunk anything that qualified as booze[i only do water now]. I went wild at some house party once and tried weed.

    Nothing happened.

    Atleast not the gigantic awesomeness everyone talks about. I only got super sleepy and begged some friend to take me back to campus else i’d have slept right where i was standing.

  75. This reminds me of my cousin, Boaz. About two years ago. He went to visit a friend in Wendani at about 10 p.m who left shortly after his arrival. He spotted two “queen cakes” on the kitchen counter . With his hunger pangs the lad rushed to a nearby shop, bought a bottle of soda, fanta to be precise. He stuffed the morsel into his mouth and washed it down with the a cold Fanta. Little did he know it was weed cake, poor kid. After about 30 minutes, he slithered out of the house destined for Langata. The next thing……….he was slightly past Roisambu walking at 12:30 a.m….

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  76. in my excursion in the garden of Weeden, there are two variants of the herb;
    variant 1: will accelerate your though process & your mind will be a flood of ideas- woe unto you if you don’t have a pen and paper to keep track. This variant catalyses the crazy in you. One could easily wrestle a cactus as show of dominance

    variant 2: will slow you down – you will easily perceive a second to be a minute. Drowsiness and Incorherent thought process is the hallmark of this variant -like you would ask yourself “what colour is clear water?”

    In conclusion, your state of mind determines your ride on the weed-train

  77. Weed.Its a gateway to the dark world,and opens your portals for invasion by spirits(dark,fallen,evil,from the pit)so called enlightened,,they never leave,you are their host,to live and express through you until cleansed by Blood of Jesus and made to come to the true Light.

    1. Came across this blog the other day and this is the first comment I came across that I totally agree with. Looking back, I feel lucky to have escaped from that trap. There’s power in the Name of Jesus.

    2. I understand your perspective, but just so you know there are religious people who you listen to every Sunday that smoke marijuana.

  78. The certified effects of weed on human beings are ; Hungry(the munchies), Happy(the unbridled laughter) or sleepy.
    The claims about inspired thinking depends on the individual. On selected cases. But the three reactions herein are the commonplace effects of the herb.

  79. Weed calms me, it makes me see a whole new world where everything is possible. It gives me immense courage and a sweet sleep. It perfects everything I see or touch, it makes everything beautiful – for me weed is bae…..

  80. Haha awesome story. i can highly relate to it. Check it out https://trendingnairobi.co.ke/2017/04/06/dear-sponsor/

  81. From a medical stand point weed has effects on different people differently,though the bush is not legal yet but I would recommend for people with appettite issues and insomnia. I smoke,it calm me down. long live herb

  82. All your stories are excellent. But in terms of ethics and tone on IG, perhaps you could choose to exercise a bit of diplomacy when hinting to a woman about her exposed inner clothing privately, rather then laughing at her on your IG posts? Some people are shy, while others prioritise carrying on their occupations despite their faults. All human beings, regardless of gender, require their innate dignity to be respected. Best.

  83. A Lone Villager’s take….from ndaaani, ndaaani of village and old school to boot. No matter how light we make of cannabis, or regal the experiences/experiments with it, it is like an affair, it never ends well.

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  84. Most of my friends smoke, and most of the time they do it in my presence but they say I was probably born with the effects in my blood so they dont let me partake, but that’s okey with me since we learn through experience (not necessarily yours) and these guys are really experienced hehehe

  85. Youre probably getting the wrong weed. Big difference and effects from indica and sativa or a hybrid… One makes you sleepy and another upbeat

  86. Well when I received this email alert a few weeks back, I did not seem to have any interest with the article. I guess the topic Cannabis to me wasn’t so inviting. But today I was going through my unread emails and it just pulled me in this direction. I for one loved the article Biko keep this up, I can’t stop laughing. I relate to the drowsiness effect of weed but more so because I was a lover of the weed cookies. I could sleep the whole day and night. And my lips were dry you would think I had never had water for months. I do not think I will be trying it again however, the waste of a whole day is lesson enough.
    Also I love the comments, I go through all of them which are hilarious. Keep me laughing gang….

  87. I remember one day after a joint around 2.30am, my friend decide this is the day she will learn how to drive, she got on the driver’s seat and we sat there, for not less than 50 min driving the car with doors open, ignition key still in my pocket the car still at a stand still and we were making all sorts of traffic noises. (we even got pulled over at some point)
    We hallucinated the whole 50 min and we were laughing at how dumb we were driving the car without even turning the car on

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  88. The effect of weed varies from one individual to another. others laugh hysterically, others walk naked, others can till a whole acre of land in a day on that shit, myself…smoked the shit in college after exams to relax but stopped right there!!!

  89. When I was doing my finals in 4th year,I did all my papers high..I got straight As…
    I am smart,but weed makes me smarter:)