A Fairy Tale

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We all tell lies. Sometimes we fib, useless lies like “I will look for you soon we sit for a drink’’. Other times we tell ugly lies that stick to us like a stench; ‘I’m not married’ or ‘I’m married a little.’ Some lies are a maze, like Inception, the more you tell them the more you find yourself lost in them. Other lies are a cobweb; you get stuck to them, helplessly waiting for the hammer to drop. Then there are lies that define us. You become the lie. Nobody will ever remember anything else about you but that lie. Some lies are a stain while others are a dye. But then there are people who live to lie. They have a nose for lies, seeking them out, spinning them into intricate tales, thriving in this fictitious web of lies; and worst of all, they believe their lies. 

The beauty of this tragedy is that lies have a way of catching up with us. Sooner rather than later, mostly. A lie found me in bed on Tuesday night. It wasn’t my lie, it was someone else’s lie. A guy who attended my writing masterclass many moons ago WhatsApped me and said, “Biko, that chap you interviewed sounds exactly like my sister’s ex husband.”

“The soldier guy?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your sister’s ex-husband called?”

 He said the right name.

I said, “Well, damn. It’s him. Your sister did him bad, bro.”

“My sister didn’t do shit to him. He’s a liar. A master manipulator.”

I said, “Is it? Can your sister talk to me about it?” 

He said he didn’t know that she was done with that nightmare, “but hang on a second, let me buzz her and see.” 

Shortly, my phone rings. It’s his sister. She says, “Biko I read that story,” then she chuckled. I could hear her shake her head through the phone. “I don’t want any mud-slinging but what the guy told you about our marriage is not true.” 

Then we talked for a whole hour. It was unbelievable what she was telling me. I felt like Solomon, with those two women each claiming the baby was hers. I couldn’t reconcile the man she was telling me about and the one I had met, how aggrieved he was, how detailed his story was, how he looked vulnerable and stricken. How he fought back tears. 

But his ex-wife had a long tale too, full of different details and recollections. She spoke of his erratic ways, conning everybody around her, her friends, her church-mates, her family. She told of lies piled upon more lies, his long disappearing spells and the fables that followed when he reappeared. His stint in Buyer Beware after he took off with funeral money. She never took a restraining order on him barring him from seeing his kids. On the contrary, I saw screenshots (that went unanswered) where she tells him to at least try to be present to his children.  He stopped seeing his children of his own accord.  He never broke any of her cousin’s bones. She never burned his certificates. He doesn’t have a degree in engineering even though on LinkedIn it says he does. 

When I hung up I was confused. I lay in bed thinking, what-the-frrk? This guy couldn’t be acting; the tears and all, the effusive politeness. I’m embarrassed to say that I was so sold on his story I gave him money when we were parting and again the following day because, come on, you would have too. I wanted to cover his nakedness, to place a cloth on his exposed manhood. 

Was it all a ruse? How did I not see it? 

I looked at the time; it was coming to 10pm. So I called a friend of mine in Meru called Don. You must know Don, from Engage Talks? Yeah, that Don. He always has an interesting perspective on things. He’s the kind of guy who will say something and you’ll think, hmm, why didn’t I think of that? His phone was busy. His daughter has just won a prestigious Queen’s Commonwealth Essay competition so I figured he was on the phone with the Kisii nation in the village, getting patted on the back for raising the Kisii flag high on the high hill of the Commonwealth. 

When he called me back I asked him, “Did you read the story I posted today?”

“The Special Forces guy who quit his job for his wife?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I think he’s a fraud.” 

“How now?”

So I told him what the wife had told me and when I was done, he was quiet for a minute and then he said, “damn.”

“Can you believe it?”

“The ex-wife certainly has no reason to lie.”

“Exactly, she has no cock in this fight,” I said. 

I slept. When I woke up I  remembered thinking, was that all a terrible dream? I wore my trainers and went to work out. Later, I reached out to our guy and asked for his service number, which he sent me. I then reached out to someone I know in the armed forces. I gave them this number and asked them to run a check on him. Granted, they were skeptical. They wanted to know why I wanted that information. What was it for? This is sensitive stuff, they said, someone could get their head on a pike. I crossed my heart and hoped to die. Moments later I was sent his condensed record. Turns out that yes he was in the military for five years but he was never in the Special Forces. Maybe he was in all those places he described, and in those combat, but maybe he wasn’t. He deserted the army in 2016. 

I asked the ex-wife why such a narcissistic person would offer to donate his kidney. She laughed and said he’s incapable of selfless acts or acts of compassion. “How can he donate a kidney when he can’t show any love for his own children?” She posed. “He won’t donate his kidney, it’s a long game he’s playing. There has to be something in it.”

They say ladies have a sixth sense, that they can pick subtle nuances about people. When I was conducting the interview a lady friend had walked in and briefly joined us and listened to half of this fairy tale. I reached out and asked her if she found anything odd or disingenuous about the man. She said she saw nothing. I said he lied about a whole bunch of things. She said, “No way that guy was lying. There is just no way.”

So I called him yesterday afternoon. He picked up the phone and said, “Hello sir,” with the utmost humility. I wanted to laugh. I said, ‘do you know, K*” He stuttered a bit, K-who? I spelled out the name for him. He said, ‘K…” as if thinking. I told him that he was his ex-wife’s brother, your brother-in-law, surely you must remember him? He said, Oh yeah. I do. I do. Yeah, K. I said, well he called me. Small world, he was in my writing class once. But you know who else called me to tell me your story? Your ex-wife.

He hung up. 

I called again. I told him his story and what his wife told me were worlds apart. I said what has happened has happened but I just have one question, “What was your motivation? What drives you to lie like that?” He said, “There has been a misunderstanding, let’s meet.” I said, “We already met. There is no need to meet again, just tell me what motivates you to waste both of our time with those stories.” He didn’t have an answer. That’s the last we spoke. 

We come here to hear and tell stories and hopefully learn from these stories. Granted, there could be a bit of embellishing here and there and that’s okay. What’s a story without some spice? But changing the fundamental heart of a story with lies is simply astonishing and disrespectful to the community here. Maybe a few might have gotten away with it but every single person who has lied here has been found out in one way or the other.  It’s hard to tell your story and imagine that if you lie, that someone who knows you and your situation will not read this story and flag it. We are just six introductions away from knowing someone you wouldn’t imagine you could know. They call it six degrees of separation, I believe. There is an American quote from the southern parts of that land that says, “Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” Lies shall surface. 

It’s heartbreaking when this happens. I wonder if I could have averted it in any way. I never imagined that one could blatantly lie about their story. I thought telling one’s story, anonymously, is driven by the need for absolution, a catharsis. This man’s story has been “cancerised” for me. Tainted. Rotten in its very heart. I had put an email address at the end of that story. We have since deleted it. The story will remain up but under fiction. 

If by any chance you had contacted him, please DO NOt get into any form of transaction with this person, financial or otherwise. It will end in tears. Yours.  

I’m sorry that we are here, guys. We learn and we do better. I will leave you with an African proverb, “No matter how far you urinate, the last drop will always fall at your feet.”

Gang, see you on Tuesday. I’m off to have a very strong drink. 

 

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437
315 Comments
  1. Wah! The way I had felt for this guy imagining he had no one. This world is not our home! I had actually been wondering eti how I could be of help to him. Such a con artist

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  2. Waaah!
    Feels like we have been in an amusement park. Paying for the ride with our time.
    Ni life.
    Next Tuesday we’ll rise and read again!. Ngaleta fine story

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  3. People lie as of their life dependa on lies…if I start going through series of lies I have heard I won’t even finish

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  4. “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.”
    -Abraham Lincoln

    My apologies to ex-wife for judging her so harshly before hearing her side of the story. I retract.

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    1. I have to admit I was really looking forward to your comment on this after your(not so kind) previous comments on the soldier’s story

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      1. That’s fine Eve. But still, the core content of my comments remain unchanged. My apology is to the ex-wife specifically for my harsh judgement of her specifically.

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      2. That’s right Eve, I scrolled down to the comments to find this guy and his gang who felt vindicated by that story. Ati harch judgement of the ex-wife ( hehehe!). Well, we know them by their stripes.

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  5. Wohh! I never saw this coming. So unfortunate! I honestly do respect those who tell the truth no matter how hard it is. If only he told his truth…

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  6. A few months ago I asked a once very dear friend the very same question. ‘What motivates you? Why is your first option to tell lies?’. Narcissists lie without batting an eye. They shed the fakes tears and make the promises they know they will never fulfill. They will call you to meet and lie again and again. It gives them joy to fool us normal folk. Sad, but true.

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    1. I think its because they have told this lie to themselves first, so many times that they have come to believe it as the truth

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  7. Oh my goodness!
    I’m speechless!
    Although I’d have loved to read the ex’s version of the marriage et al.
    To imagine people have gotten in touch and probably helped him financially, damn!
    Hugs Biko, not your fault, enjoy that drink.

    9
  8. I wasn’t moved one bit by this story. Wanted to say so but didn’t want anyone coming at me. Sounded like a guy who watched too many American-soldier movies.

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  9. Biko I wrote to him and he responded I gave him my number. I offered help. I wanna scream at what am reading!!!
    I am so so gutted waaaaaat.
    And ok how do you know my son Don? Small world this.

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    1. I was one who long wondered why Biko never gave a talk at Engage. Now that I know he’s pals with Don, I’m just resigned to think it’s a personal choice, or maybe a runaway from live cameras.

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  10. Biko, the way you romanticise stories with sadness and humour.. but no one in the armed forces can change allegiance easily. Not unless they are incapacitated.. what a duche.

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  11. Ngai!
    And the way I was so sorry for you.
    Surely.
    Even my friend was sorry for you and we talked about you.
    Surely I told you thankyou for doing a ‘noble thing’
    I want my thankyou back

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  12. Don’t beat up yourself too much Chocolate man. It happens, even to the best of us and thank you for taking your share of responsibility for it.
    Lining up here next Tuesday, I’m so curious about what the wife had to say.

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  13. Count yourself lucky if you have not come across such world builders. They recreate life, live in it, and choose how to treat people as per the rules of their imaginary worlds. It will scare the hell out of you when you discover the menace that a fractured mind can conjure. Especially when they decide to make you a recipient of this madness.

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  14. I, Laurie Bruna,did what I had sworn I never would do. I took his side against his ex- wife’s, all the while sobbing into my pillow O Lord! Hats off to one of the tellers of the tallest lies ever told.

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  15. In the words of Raymond Reddinton from that series that we all love, the blaclist, “The only thing worse than a lie is a lie that compounds it”. I share in your disappointment chocolate Man. I even shared a link to that story on my WhatsApp status.

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  16. “This is horrible! Make him leave his job, burn his certificates, get a restraining order then sleep soundly at night knowing you’ve ruined someone’s future… aii? her humanity must have taken a trip to Mars and decided to settle there! Praying this man catches a break! Men are people too…”

    I take back my comment.

    I had just finished recounting this story to a friend only to see the notification on this update. Aii? where’s his humanity? Pathological liars believe their lies and want their listeners to also believe them, they even get aggressive if you don’t.

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  17. I lost it when he left the Army for his wife… and stayed home!!! The wife returning after years… Red flags!!!! Anywho what has happened has happened!!!

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  18. Man….that story was top of the line…..hook, line and sinker….plus the fish and all!!!! Phew…..like it’s said “every day is a learning day!”…but I still enjoyed the bonus!!! Keep it up….but kaa rada!

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  19. The part of Special Forces just did not connect with me. I am an empirical skeptic and a military buff. I allowed it to pass because I know of many former junior soldiers who masquerade as retired officers, including two MPs, but special forces jamaas are just special beings. None will treat Love in the abstract way of common airheads. The military keeps a tab on them even after they leave. But just breathe in and out, Chocolate Man. Si ni life!

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  20. Deep down you knew it was a lie… I clearly remember the line ” it’s as if it was a movie” guess now it is. That kind of deep awareness really makes me believe in the spiritual. On a lighter note, the guy should also attend your masterclass. Liers tend to be great storytellers, or is it the other way around?

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  21. Hahaha! This is funny. In the story, there was this part where he pulled a sword and chopped off some guy’s head very quickly. I wondered if it was Biko or the narrator who was spicing. That couldn’t have been true.

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    1. Damn right. That was a confession to an execution. That’s the kind of thing you take with you to your grave, special forces or otherwise.

      4
  22. Oh my! I bought his lie. I even cried. I even wished I could help. Then I remembered I do not have opportunities fitting his skills & talents. So what did I do? I wrote to the email address you shared with so much care. I remember the sigh of relief at the tail end when I saw a communication channel to reach him!

    So I commended his selflessness. And I offered the only help in my hands, since I am a digital strategist & copywriter, I asked him to consider an idea and entrepreneural one for that matter that I can help him launch his website and social media platforms for, you know, to connect him to the currency flow for free.

    My. I even called my closest friend who happens to read you as religiously as I do to compare notes as usual.

    This world.

    I still pray that our dear soldier finds himself. And may he get unbound from the chains holding him down to this level of lies.

    Peace and grace to him

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  23. My lunch literally just went cold as I read this….mahn and the way I retold his story to almost all my colleagues yesterday…. Issorait

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  24. That guy’s story really moved me to tears and as a woman I wondered just how cruel can we be?And I felt awful I couldn’t help,ie offer a job since sending money only helps for a short while. Now,I’m like what the fuck? What an elaborate lie. I’m also questioning my sense of judgement and my seemingly innate ability to fall for sob stories.

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  25. My friend was in a relationship with that kind of guy. He lied he was a doctor m, he could even go for shifts at work nights and day shifts, I never believed him from the word go, so many things that never added up, but my friend was so in love. They divorced as the schemes and lies, and conning became too much. Such is life with human. It’s not always that we can tell lies and truth. Some are gifted lies.

    1
  26. First time commenting on your blog post Biko, and it takes a lot to get a reaction out of me cause I tend to think I have seen it all. Thanks for honoring us with the truth, and for the level of integrity you have displayed. That character reminds me of my ex-boyfriend; a manipulative liar. I thank God to this day that I never bore his children and was able to permanently sever my ties with him. That a grown man can take advantage of a situation that involves a kidney donation is the ghettaux: WHAT-THE-FRRK?!! ABSOLUTE LUNACY. May such characters face their demons and learn their lessons in this lifetime because I pity how their judgement day shall look like.

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  27. Wah the emotions I had already put in that story. That’s the human mind when it is fractured, one may live in a reality only known to them. We move on regardless.

    1
  28. Damn.. and the way I was sold to his story. I even empathised with him and his situation.. heck, I almost used that quote Ja Loka uses to describe women. What a waste of my emotions.

    1
  29. That guy’s story really moved me to tears and as a woman I wondered just how cruel can we be?And I felt awful I couldn’t help,ie offer a job since sending money only helps for a short while. Now,I’m like what the fuck? What an elaborate lie. I’m also questioning my sense of judgement and my seemingly innate ability to fall for sob stories. So sorry Biko,but this feels like a collective lesson for us all. To always question when someone shares something that potrays them as the glorious victim. This is some deep level of narcissism.

  30. That jobless “engineer” had me scratching. Sometimes you’re had. It’s life. We live on, knowing every story has another side.

  31. As I stated in the other post, all is fair in love and war. This is war Biko, war on your persona, on your social media influence and war on us.
    We remain vigilant and skeptical with a dash of empathy .
    We live to read on, tell him to write more stories. He had the knack for it.

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  32. I honestly got lost and became skeptical with the whole story the moment he said that he can’t get himself a job, yet he has a degree in Engineering that he studied abroad. And to spice it up, that the wife burnt the certificates. Well, and leaving the army coz of the wife. That left me with some heavy doubts deep down. I mean, there are a few dots that i couldn’t join. And i told another ardent reader of this blog( Gang Member) the same thing.

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  33. Damn…narcissist behavior. Am so sorry for the wife. I hope a whole hive of bees falls on him. Nkt. Reminds me of the other idiot a while back who even killed his wife. Sad

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  34. I had just started wondering what day it is when I saw a notification

    Sorry for that Biko, You remain a captivating writer even in this article

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  35. That he would take advantage of Josh’s will to live and his appeal for help, to spin his web of lies is despicable. He is bottom of the gutter kinda trash.

    Mzae najua ume waka nare baada ya hio P. E lakini usitense. Tuko nawewe gangari! Strong. Piga hio kidrink alafu kesho mboka iendelee.

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  36. Ah. I kept wondering how come he had not considered how s mother’s words whether he had borne an idiot. We! That guy will become a Kenyan politician. But l hope not.

  37. Oh my !Biko ,I can feel your anger .Sorry.
    Also,those of us who cried ,where are we meeting to collect our tears ?Such a waste !

    2
  38. Even had not yet read yesterday’s story but somehow saw that they were connected. So went to yesterday’s first, then came here…shit is real. Why lie though

  39. Whhhaaatt??! I sent my hugs…and I was hurt & judged my fellow woman. That is sickness right there. What is this world coming to my God!

  40. I have literally been taking notes in the comments section of that story. As late as last evening, was debating it with a friend pitying soldier boy. Sad. Now, what do we do with the notes? Bin them? Damn.

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    1. And what will happen to the notes you made?The emotional investment that was done here weh,sawa,with kenyans you stay taliban.

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  41. Gosh…Still in disbelief. We all fell to pathological liar’s trap! And the way I had posted the story on my status and telling guys we pray for a stranger who needs our prayers. #Bensol#niombee,nikuombee kwani maombi yangu pekee, hayawezi.

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  42. So he was in the army. True.
    He married her. True.
    They divorced. True.
    He wasn’t special forces. Lie
    She burnt his certificates. Lie
    He is a con and a liar. Withheld.
    He is a deadbeat dad. Withheld
    Why did he leave the army? Unknown.
    If he was such a liar and a perennial ghoster, why did she marry him? Unknown.
    It is naive to say that the ex-wife has no reason to lie.
    Do you seriously expect a wife and a husband to see their marriage and their roles the same way?
    We still want to know what happened. Too bad he has lost all credibility.

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    1. There are 3 sides of a story, the wife’s, soldier’s and the truth. I am not even mad that prolly the woman is lying too an all that. People fall in love and along the way, things change, circumstances even people change. BUT, he had just one thing to, just one. To tell the truth, am sure the gang would have found a way(s) to help, but what do i know?

      Stay Taliban!

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    2. I think the question should be why did she divorce him.. You can marry someone without fully knowing their character and once you do. You walk away

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    3. People pretend even for years,then midway you realise you got a raw deal,yes he’s a deadpbeat coz it nearly impossible to be barred from visiting with ones kids in this country.
      The man is a LIAR! DEADBEAT! Nothing more,nothing less.

      1
  43. Ooh Biko. I’m sorry he wasted your time and energy. I’m sorry some readers might have reached put to help a fraud.
    I’m not sorry you write so well. Gaaaad i love your writing

    1
  44. You should have seen how my colleagues and I were busy dissecting this story, how sorry we were for the guy, how we insisted you should never ever resign coz of a spouse. No one saw this coming. He should be jailed for raising the hopes for the kidney receipt. He should be jailed for conning guys as well. Narcissistic indeed.

    1
  45. Wa! That’s totally messed up! Why lie?? And the way I was so saddened by that story,, and quickly took the email address and was about to throw him a bone??

    Well we live and we learn. Sorry Biko, such is life.

  46. People actually lie for a living and I guess that’s him, he’s too good for you to see through him.. everyday is a learning DAY!

  47. I was moved to both tears and laughter by that story. I’ve been hoping for this kind of love and this woman just throws it away. I even noticed a spelling mistake. ‘MURKY’ is the correct spelling . I love doing that with everything I read. It’s as though I just have an inbuilt Grammarly radar. I started typing my response but work called. So I said let me finish the work first as much as I love typing when my juices are flowing. When I went back, I couldn’t find my half- written response. How ironical that this is the plot twist.

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  48. I was moved. Reached out to the guy via email and he responded. Was about to call him today on the number he gave me. Was busy in office virtual meetings then going to FB I find this post. Crazy world! Biko take heart, in my 25 plus years as a journo I have met these weirdos. But this Special Forces man is just special. As a mental health activist I have a feeling we are dealing with a mental case here. Waiting for Tuesday Ja Kendu Bay!!!

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  49. See you on Tuesday Chocolate man. I hope calling you that lightens the mood (it would have been better if it came from a lady).

    Pole sana.

    1
  50. After the story I grew some hatred towards some women, now am a shamed too… I was in a matatu to Isinya and believe me I started a conversation with my seat mate- a lady, purposely to taunt her on how bad women are. I know some of my points hurt her, I was emotional. Why did I involve my emotions that much!

    1
  51. Damn! such a waste of time and emotions! The way I shared the story with my friends wondering how there can be such in-human people like the ex. Now I feel so cheated am wondering if I now have to share this version too. That is a sick person right there. This Earth is hard and mental health is real! Isorait, we live and learn!

  52. Well, it was a good story and read like a movie script. Maybe that should have been our first clue, it was too tragic to be true. As for his motivation, I guarantee you there are people he’s getting money from this story.

  53. You know what, am glad Biko took courage to uncover his lie. Hopefully no one has been entangled with him, else his dupious ways will ruin the trust of this blog.
    Am sooooo disappointed with the turn of events, I was so invested in his story I sent the link to my family WhatsApp and also got my hubby to read the story so that we could sympathise with his situation. Anyway such if life!

  54. I knew this was going to happen.as I always say a coin has two sides. I do have all the evidence required to clear all this. I am ready to send to anyone who wants to see it and make an opinion for themselves.

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  55. The emotional tone with which this story struck my heart, I haven’t come to terms with yet. I become dumb and lifeless. I couldn’t imagine all long have been sympathizing with a fraud. Though the story looked authentic from the onset. The world is cruel to anyone. I am hopeful that Biko you won’t come again to unsay what the ex-wife said as she rebutted the lies from ‘elite special force’ slayking.

    I have been singing this Hymnal 632 UNTIL THEN, In honor of this man, who took a bullet for his wife.

    1
    My heart can sing when I pause to remember,
    A heartache here is but a stepping stone.
    Along a trail, thats winding always upward,
    This troubled world, is not my final home.

    Refrain
    But until then, my heart will go on singing,
    Until then, with joy I’ll carry on,
    Until the day my eyes behold the city,
    Until the day God calls me home.

    2
    The things of earth will dim and lose their value,
    If we recall they’re borrowed for a while;
    And things of earth that cause the heart to tremble,
    Remembered there, will only bring a smile.

  56. I enjoy, I cry, I sympathize, I appreciate, a thumbs up but mostly a I learn. Every story is a learning field. Thanks Biko

  57. I was emotionally invested in that story I felt like I might not be doing rnoygor the society in terms of my help.
    This are the things that destroy people’s hearts from helping out others in need because you will always wonder if you need to do a background check.
    Anyway we live to fight another day.

  58. they say there is a reason why a coin has two sides….i did not judge the lady because of that . he is not a lover and a fighter but more like a liar and a dush bag…..

  59. Hugs Biko. I was once conned by a guy who was very similar to that one. Their stories are usually too good to be true but somehow we fall for their lies because they’re masters at manipulation.

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  60. Its sad we are here man, I have been thinking of a comment since but could not think of any. It seems that was for a reason. Thanks for letting us know.

  61. I’m most sorry for Josh – he was promised a kidney & a new lease at life. And it wasn’t your fault Biko. I’m also laughing at the misogynists in the comment section of that story who were really going in on women with support from their fellow chauvinists, and saying you shouldn’t “compromise” yourself for mamas, woishe, poor them…they’ll have to wait for another story to show their ass :/

  62. Wah…Pole sana Biko. They live among us. These days it is even one degree of separation.
    Whatever that guy is going through, I hope that he will snap out of it one day soon. What was that about??

  63. Lived with such a guy for a year, pathological liar he is and violent as well. Its funny how there are still people out there who believe I’m the wicked woman….people he’s made believe.

    1
  64. “No matter how far you urinate, the last drop will always fall at your feet.”
    -this kill it all, thank you
    -eaglecious

  65. Waa , so sad and the way i reshared with some former colleagues who saw an almost semblance to my story…
    Bure kabisa

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  66. A narcissist is capable of anything he is a real one. Take it easy Biko. I can only imagine how you felt to realize the story was a black lie cos it cant be white this one. I salute u Biko for your quick action to share the truth once you got it Bravo man

  67. Oh wow!
    I came away wondering how cruel his ex was to burn his certs and passport, and to ban him from seeing the kids.
    People who gas-light and blame others for their predicament are dangerous!
    Maybe you should consider doing background checks for these “complex-run-about-too-good-to-be-true” stories.
    But, focusing on Josh’s issue which is true, he still needs a kidney.

  68. Really sad… I have however learnt recently that pathological liars are not a figment of imagination. They exist. It is heartbreaking though, especially if you have the misfortune of loving one. Happy that the truth ALWAYS comes out.

  69. Gosh! How do I recollect my sorry!!!! I’m glad it was not true. Clearly, there’s always two sides to a story. I’m glad we now have the second side of the coin. My apologies to ex wife for judging you harshly.

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  70. It is ridiculously wrong to steal funeral money .Morally it is very wrong but human beings do it much often .
    Payback time is in God’s hand.

  71. Jaduong, bin Adam ni yule yule…ashindana na shetwani kudanganya wenzake vila sababu! Drink the whisky to celebrate your network which saved you from Uaso nyiro tears.

  72. ‘They say ladies have a sixth sense, that they can pick subtle nuances about people’
    I did smell a rat,…I remember telling my gal that I would love to hear the wife’s side of the story.

  73. I take back the pity I felt for him,who does that!,other than a narcissist!!! I am glad we got to hear two sides of the story though…because a one sided story is usually tainted by the storyteller’s opinions and views.

  74. I am just wondering, if he lied, how did the brother In-law know it was him? Like there are a million people in the in the army and a half others who leave the army. So it could have been anyone. Apart from maybe say there are some particular details that are only know to the family. Which could be true.
    Maybe our guy here is not as guilty as we believe.

    The wife also (according to story published, maybe Biko withheld some info to protect her) just identified two or three things that were a lie. Did she leave and come back? Did she “make” him quit work?

    Plot twist… They (Army guy, “brother” “wife are in on this)to lie to Biko with made up stories…it’s not like Biko asks one to carry their marriage certificates or divorce papers to prove they are whom they say they are

    Also, ex- Service men suffer PTSD , could be trauma made him quit. Came out a different man that his family could not understand which he still is…like multi -personality disorder which has brought about all these issues

    1. He has retold that story all over tarnishing the ex-wifes name,indeed she could have her own lies but that has been his son story all along.

  75. Maybe because I was married to this man’s narcissistic “twin” for 20years, I saw so many loopholes in this story but I put it down to your mastery in story telling.

    I read this story like I was reading from my book. So surreal and yet the lies so similar. Don’t beat yourself too hard Biko. We live and we learn.

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  76. Humans can be conniving at times albeit it does define some men. To dismiss the soldier would be suicidal for in all of our actions lies a motivation nonetheless kudos to him for he kept a straight face in front of the master interviewer. He deliberately hid all the cues to his lies to make it a saleable pitch for his fraudulent scheme but SI NI LIFE..

  77. No need to beat yourself Biko. I bought that lie to the last fullstop. Ppl can really lie. Am questioning my capability to judge ppl’s character now

  78. Man is a lie…reading through the tale, the ending got me. The anger in him and everything. I pity the people around him. Worse, those who will fall into his lie-laden-lair.

  79. Kwani you Biko, you don’t ask for the assailant’s contacts to validate the stories? Nway, the way he made everyone to be against him including his mom was a red flag.

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  80. Biko, don’t beat yourself up too much over this. This soldier guy clearly needs help. He should find work in the TV/Film industry – either as an actor or screenwriter!

  81. Here there is more than meets the eye! This ain’t a script,no.
    Stay,Taliban,I mean read between the lines and stay woke folks!!

  82. Biko pathological lying is a personality disorder, that makes a person lie impulsively and habitually without any feeling of remorse

  83. I had a feeling there was a lie somewhere but I wouldn’t just place a finger. There was too much righteousness on his side..
    Sounded like something from a fictional movie, a fairly tell.
    But then this is the second story I have read that is a lie both told my men..

  84. That story was so captivating, I have been having Alshabab dreams since I read it..
    Only to discover it’s a lie
    What an unpleasant surprise

  85. Biko, the woman who had walked in during your first interview with the special forces guy, why had you left pit that detail in your first article?

  86. There is always that question at the back of my mind whenever I read a story, ‘what is the other side of the story?’ There are always 3 sides to a story and the accused is innocent until proven guilty.

  87. Meeting and believing a serial liar, or conman, is part of the journey. Don’t be too down about it. Some people have lost a lot more. Hopefully this tale helps others avoid such relationships or get out of them.

  88. Not your fault.

    Read [surrounded by psychopaths] by Thomas Erikson. Very useful insights to be gained from there on the personality type you may have encountered.

    Thank me later.

  89. I’m rather glad it was not true. The story was so heartbreaking, like how could the wife be so cruel. It’s unfortunate though that he abused your trust and tainted your page. Thanks for bringing us the truth, keep on keeping it real!!

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  90. Wow! My heart was in my mouth when I imagined his ex wife burnt his papers surely. Why would someone come up with such negative things about themselves. It runs deep.

  91. Waaaaah! This is insanely wacky!…..I feel like apologizing to the the ex-wife for the backlash she got here on Tuesday. Lesson learnt: No matter the circumstances, there’s always the other side of the story!

  92. That’s why they say sometimes truth is stranger than fiction………

    But come to think of it, there were some red flags…. Especially the end …. Didn’t understand why he was giving out the kidney…… With that arm like a blender didn’t appear to me like someone who was ‘desperately’ desperate…

  93. Hey Biks.. But si ni life! I would never trade in his shoes but hey this is just one among a milli myriad of makeshift stories you’ve heard or better yet seen.

  94. The “Special Forces” escapades……..sounded too simplistic……….Special Ops never tell tales. Something felt off. That level of actualizing alternate reality is borderline psycho. May he heal and learn to live in reality. I can’t wish him bad, but hope he gets help to overcome his challenges (perceived and real). As usual, thank you for upholding integrity Mr. Chocolate man. Have a few stiff ones na tuendelee na #masterclass

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  95. I read this story and u could just tell he was a toxic person.. My friend really believed him but I said I can tell he is a narcissist and very toxic. From his story….why would he switch off his phone when his wife told him she was pregnant? If he could receive messages why wasn’t he texting her back or calling? The story was soo self centred and he was really trying to paint the other person bad(a very big red flag).

  96. I guess am among the few who never bought into the story. C weall it sixth sense but I knew there was no way on this God’s good earth a woman would be that bad without a good reason.To every story, there is always the other side of it and this one felt like one of those.

  97. Uuuuuuum I connect with this story, people can lie out here! I have a colleague who would lie from morning to evening without blinking an eye, unfortunately they also tend to be smart upstairs and drunkards. He quit the job one year ago and is drinking himself silly in the village after conning almost everyone at the work place and its sorroundings. I recently met him looking very dirty and drunk but still he lied that he quit our job and is currently working as one of the IEBC commissioners. I Just felt tired and ‘congratulated him’.
    But liers have serious mental issues, they live in fairies, their world is only understood by them.

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  98. Narcissistic, pathological liars….oh, these ones can do you a number. What makes enrages me is if he was looking to donate a kidney as a way to con Josh. I am a kidney transplant recipient, I know the mental, emotional, physical, financial and spiritual weight the whole process impacts, how grateful and indebted we will be forever and how our lives literally depend on a viable kidney. To have someone choose to play a long game or whatever this guy could have been planning, is cruel, inhumane and downright evil.
    I hope he chooses to change.

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  99. ‘What’s your motivation?’Biko,we are a sick nation.Mad men are walking in the streets, drink tea with you everyday, they are sitted in their suits in the offices, they sign you cheques everyday.Its only that they don’t walk naked.
    He is a conman to the core!He knew Kenyans will sympathise.He knows our weakness.
    His story would have won him an award somewhere else,he has earned a bad name here.

  100. The story of Mary Turner Thomson, and how she was lied to by a man such as the one in the impugned story, came into my mind the moment I read the third paragraph. Our friend here, and we really vouched for him, is a psychopath. He has no love, no feelings and only uses other people as a means to an end. Such a huge waste of time and resources. I can’t believe I spent my time reading that story instead of making some progress in other important stuff.

    We learn every day.

  101. His Lie (story) was sought he never offered it. All he offered was a Kidney for Josh, whom I am sure most of us (Like me, May God have mercy on us) had read about and long forgotten. (John 8:7 Let he that is without sin cast the first stone)

    The real lesson here is in learning to take only what is offered.

    Let Josh have the Kidney please, I doubt it will come with the lies.

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  102. heeehhh… i know your pain Biko.
    I have ever been in a similar situation.

    last year my former coursemate from University approached me with a dire need. she said she has been diagnosed with a ‘stomach tumor’ and needed surgery urgently. I asked for evidence and she sent me some scans which I did not know how to interpret so I fell for the story plus all the tears involved.

    I told her the only way I could help is by asking the classmates to contribute 25,000 which was the hospital expenses (she even sent me a receipt from Kathonzweni hospital)

    so mbio mbio i approached my classmates in our WhatsApp group and explained the situation. they really sympathized and agreed to contribute. I am very good at resource mobilization so I had the cash in two days.

    one morning this babe calls me at around 6.20am and tells me that she has been rushed to hospital coz she got worse and is going to surgery at 9am. she was crying the whole time yaniiii. so I tell her to just calm down and that everything will be ok. I sent her all the money we had contributed which summed up to 27,000 that morning.

    soon after, her phone went off. I understood coz I knew she was in surgery. i asked my classmates to pray with me for a successful surgery.

    wueehh! siku mbili, siku tatu, siku nne, simu bado ni mteja. aaaiiii?

    I got worried sick. had something bad happened to her? after about a week, she got in touch and said that she was doing well. I asked her to send me a picture and hospital papers for accountability purposes.

    heeh… shida ilianza hapo. she started saying ati atatuma and never sent. I got really suspicious and shared this with a friend and our investigation started.

    long story short, she had no tumor. she was just pregnant and wanted to do an abortion but had no money for it.

    NAIROBI!

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  103. There was a red flag right at the beginning. How it’s an elite team, but he refered to the juniors as “local boys”

  104. Had a similar situation with an army guy. Spewing lies. Deliberately not remembering things he did. Twisting situations. My family thought I was the crazy one. Until I said frrk it! Let guys think am bad and crazy but am out of it. My sanity and safety comes first. He still tries to show my family how good and reformed he is. Once bitten twice shy Biko. Mine wasn’t just an ordinary bite. Literally, I rescued myself. Through defiance. Refused to keep meeting for talks that had no end in sight. Said frrk traditions that make women especially stay in marriages that are clearly hell for them. My mom took a minute to understand my courage. She’s still processing it. Her and my dad. Maybe I crushed their dream of a “perfect” life for me by their standards. Now am happily divorced. I sleep really well at night.

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  105. Another glass of whatever you are drinking, on me Biko! Pheuks! You could have seen me narrate that Bolliscott story to my mbogi, nikiwaambia vile madem ni trash. I hope they don’t read this article until after December coz my guy, I’ll be crucified. Wueh! Earth is hard!

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  106. I have realized people nowadays in the internet tell lots of lies for sympathy and handouts. One has to be careful.

  107. “..
    We are just six introductions away from knowing someone tou wouldnt imagine you could know”.. nice . Ill be sure to use this.

  108. I felt something was amiss with the soldier,that’s why I didn’t comment.Such a con artist, narcissistic person,who wants everything to revolve around him!

  109. Quick one Biko, stopped doing BD Interviews? I am far away in the wilderness where hard copy can never reach, so I always read it online. Been checking it for a while now, and nothing yields. Or was it replaced it with the Singleton thingy?

  110. Oh Lord, what ! That story broke my heart into a thousand pieces I even reached out to the fool. Nkt.
    Thank you Biko

  111. Wow! There’s always two sides to a story and even then, sometimes people twist the truth to suit them. Either way, live and let live….

  112. All this for a kidney. So now what. Is he really O positive as he claimed. Or was he just tired of living with two kidneys. Aaah! The kidney bothers me a lot. Did Josh get a donor?

  113. Yaani I was really looking forward for the next story,kitu tu inaniambia what has Biko written latest then BOOM!this!!mehn na vile I shared that story with people hadi kwa mat sympathised with him the way he is ready to give his kidney to atleast have some meaning in this life. Aarghh ni life tu.

  114. There are people who live in their lies and keep spinning it as often as they get ears that listen. I know one.. The sad thing is no one would believe you when you share what you know about them. Unasema acha watajionea.. And soon they too learn, albeit the hard way. Biko we live and we learn.

  115. We all get duped at some point in time. We get heart broken then we move on. But hapo kwa quitting his job for his wife……………..

  116. This story reminds ne of a narcissist that hurt me and my person and continues to lie about me. No one has heard my side of the story because four narcissistic people combined to lie about me .
    Somehow i blame myself because i have never spoken my truth.
    God help me that one day i do speak it
    One day i hope the Truth comes out

  117. I love how you personalise the journey. Hats off for always ensuring that we are well informed even when you have to break our hearts when you have no piece for a Tuesday or call out cons like this soldier guy. He is a wounded person. A terrible narcissist. It’s hard to not look forward to Tuesdays. I keep giving up when the series is bound to have painful stories but it’s honestly hard to not come back. 8 years now reading your blog. You are a legend. Hoping to join the masterclass one day.

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  118. Ngaleta kemikal ngaosha and many lies!
    I miss your Sunday magazine stories. Their is a story you shared here that breaks my heart even today!

  119. Nairobi is fast becoming a barren wasteland of lost souls. Immersed in debt living only for the moment. Men who lie for a living are around us, be wary.

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  120. Funny, when i got the alert for the story lover and fighter on email i opened it so that i would make it my bedtime reading but my machine was slow at some point during the day and i had to restrart and update…i lost the tabs i had opened so i didnt get round to reading it…Now that i know its a facade i have opened it to read and one paragraph down im like im like why read a lie when i know its a lie…..

  121. Don’t be so hard on yourself Biko. Narcissists are master deceivers and actors. By exposing his lies you have done what every narcissist deeply fears.

  122. But it’s always advisable to get both sides of the story just like media guys do before publishing/ airing it. A one sided story is always likely to be marred with lies and blackmail.

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  123. Well, special forces at 20s didn’t make sense at all. You have to be super human to make it there at such a tender age.
    We move on regardless.

  124. There are people who lie then there are pathological liars who lie with a straight face n feel nothing. It feels bad to be lied to when it wasn’t really necessary. Been through it. Sorry biko. Its all learning though

  125. Shame on him. Not for the lies, money or tears but for taking advantage of vulnerable people – the guy looking for the kidney. I remember the story about the funeral money on BB and he actually tried to defend his act on the same post.

  126. The one thing that felt odd in his story was when he landed at JKIA…don’t these guys land at Moi Airbase or Garissa or something of the sort? ‍♀️
    What a waste of your time Biko, and ours too…

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  127. The guy is either a ‘Medal of Honour’ fanatic and a movie addict ……and well, he is certainly a liar…

  128. Biko!!!

    Well …hii dunia kuna watu na viatu na wengine ni sole. I read the article but I found it a bit off. It was coming off more like fantasy for me.

    You did well and let”s just say we are grateful for your “fiction” section aye?

    Looking forward to tomorrow too!

    Cheers!

  129. Special forces ovaries became alert kumbe it was all a fib. We sometimes lie to escape nasty situations lakini hii ni kali and a good read

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  130. So the story was all a ax. i guess we were all carried away. he is a great actor. what of us who developed an emotional connection to the story. anyway we learn and move forward

  131. I was so envious of the lady and how someone quit such a high flying job for love…. I had reservations though.. It sounded fairy taly . Weeeh, Pole Biko.

  132. I read the article and stopped halfway. It had FAKE written all over it. I don’t trust men who talk about themselves excessively and those who have two mobile phones.

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  133. Dang you should give the guy a free pass for your master class. Doctors on here could this be some form of PTSD? , also Biko this happened before on here maybe do a subtle background check on some of these stories like you did with his service number before publishing, also a fiction spin-off would not be so bad for those afflicted by wild creativity of alternate self.

  134. I think it’s unfair to title this “Fairy Tale”… As there was no “eucatastrophe”. Read more like some weird tale…
    I thank God for the comment section. My emotions have been on leave (grief will do that) …so I don’t remember feeling any particular way about The Lover and Fighter.
    Naye I have laughed… This comment section is life!! Thank you people 🙂

    Bambi Mr.Soldier Man needs help!! Real professional help. So help him God!
    This Kampalan shall steal “Si ni life”… Sounds way cooler than “C’est la vie”.

    Biko, keep writing!!!

  135. I need medical attention…..I have read both articles in one sitting..weh the emotional trauma. Biko it’s indeed a learning process.

  136. I Met a con and narcissistic man like that before I couldn’t believe he lied to me and many others like that. Still can’t believe people lie for a living.. We have real narcissists in Kenya.