Mike and Micah

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1504

She will talk about the loneliness. However, in order to talk about loneliness, inevitably, she has to talk about choices. But first, there was a little issue of our meeting venue because her identity had to be super anonymous. She insisted she wanted to meet in a place where nobody knows us. I honestly don’t have that problem I’m not a common face, I told her, but she on the other hand…I suggested the gardens of Moonflower Restaurant at Palacina. She said no, she knows people who frequent the place. There is a balcony restaurant/ bar at the rooftop of the Executive Residence by Best Western on Riverside Grove. She said no to that as well because someone who she used to work with now works there or she suspects still works there. At my wits end and as a last choice, I suggested any cafe in Sultan Hamud, 110kms from Nairobi. We could Uber to the SGR, jump onto the train (sit in different compartments to shake off these people she thinks will suddenly find us talking) then just as we are nearing Sultan Hamud, start a fire in the cabin and in the ensuing melee slip out and abandon the train, then walk the rest of the way. Then we’d find a cafe next to a butchery, sit at a corner table, hurdled over our sugared teas. She can wear a scarf and shades the whole time, I suggested. Even that she turned down. She said it was “too dramatic.” 

So I went to her apartment. Which I had to swear not to disclose or describe. (Well, I didn’t really swear, I simply said “Cross my heart and hope to die.”) When I get to her apartment, up a flight of stairs, through a doorway with the Census number inscribed above it in blue chalk, I ask her if I can use the bathroom. She points down a corridor, the door after the sink. It’s those houses that smell good. Her toilet cover has a picture of a seaside beach and a palm tree. I try not to pee too loudly. It’s intrusive to go to people’s homes and pee loudly. If they can hear it over the hum of the microwave, it’s loud. I look around her bathroom as I pee. There is a small clothe’s string that runs across the shower area. A parade of thongs line it, slivers of cloth that are so small they look like colourful strips of spaghetti. The hand soap smells fantastic. There is a small silver can which I press for hand lotion. That smells good too. 

I find her pouring hot water into a mug. “Your house smells so good.” I tell her. She smiles politely. She has an old smile. Her smile doesn’t match her youthfulness. It’s like a smile she’s using temporarily as her real smile charges back in her bedroom. She: “Some tea?” I ask for green tea. She doesn’t have green tea but she has purple tea which turns out isn’t even purple in colour. We settle down in a small dining table by a window and an open door that opens into a balcony from where we can see the cars on the road below. The sheer door curtain occasionally twirls in a slight breeze. 

“Where do I even start.” She says holding her mug with both hands to warm them. She looks somewhere faraway without looking anywhere. Her mug is written This May Contain Wine

“I met Mike* through a colleague of mine, 11 years ago.” She says. They met at a seminar in Mombasa. The colleague knew Mike’s sister and they were introduced during tea break when participants mill about eating samosas and other mini bitings, lanyards hanging from their necks, trying to sound knowledgeable and engaged when all they are waiting for is the evening cocktail when they can let go of these stuffy personas and release their true selves. “He was manly.” She recalls. 

“Like, what, he had hair on the back of his hands?” I ask. 

“That’s your idea of manly?” She asks amused. 

“That and hair on the back.” 

“Ha-ha.” She adds. “No, it wasn’t anything about that, it was his… physicality.”

“Physicality?” 

“Yeah. He isn’t ati a handsome guy…as in you wouldn’t remember him as the hot guy in the room, but he had that manly personality. He had presence.”

“Like an energy, a manly energy.” 

“Yeah! Something like that.” 

“I hate such guys.” I say.

She laughs. 

“You know, walking around with their physicality.” I lean on the word. She thinks I’m joking but I’m serious. On the road I never let guys with physicality join in; let them stay there with their physicality. Use it as a staff to part open traffic.

She says. “I don’t know how to put it, but when I met him I was simply overwhelmed by his persona…maybe overwhelmed is not the right word…I was taken by his manliness. He had this stare, he’d look at me and I’d feel owned by him. Like he’d say come, follow me, and I’d follow him. You know?”

“No. I don’t.” 

He called her a week after the conference. (Let’s call her Rose, shall we?) He invited her for a drink and they met at Tamasha one Saturday afternoon, he liked Tamasha because it was unpretentious and laid back. “I didn’t think it was a date because he was with his friends and their chicks. It was fun.”

“What did you discover about him in that meeting away from the seminar?”

“That he was the alpha male.” She laughs when I roll my eyes. Now on top of having the whole physicality, he had to also be an alpha male. “No, really, it’s how you could tell he was the leader of the group of his friends even though he was the youngest of them. His friends were a bit older than him. He was in his late 30s then and most of his friends were in their 40s but you could tell how he controlled the table without even being loud or sijui ati pushy.” 

At the parking lot later, he kissed her. He didn’t dilly or dally. He didn’t tell her, “You are beautiful” or “I had a great time today.” He didn’t hold her hand and stare long into her eyes before he kissed her like a character in a Tyler Perry movie. He didn’t pretend to hug her first, or touch her face. That’s not what a man with physicality does. “He held the back of my neck with his big hands and he kissed me. A deep kiss. No preamble.” She said. “I honestly didn’t see it coming. It took me by complete surprise. And what happened next was even more confusing; after kissing me, he didn’t say anything, he simply opened my car door and I don’t remember getting in.” She laughs. “I don’t remember anything but how hot my face was, how my neck seemed to be on fire. He said, let me know when you get home, and he simply walked back to his friends in the bar.” 

She looks deep into her cup and sighs, as if she can see the scene unfold again in her cup, this crystal ball with purple tea that isn’t purple. Thus started a confusing relationship – with a surprising kiss at the parking lot of Tamasha. “It wasn’t exactly a relationship. It was more like a sexual relationship at first because we didn’t hang out a lot. He would come over to my place because it was conveniently near where both our offices were and we would just listen to music and have sex.” She says. “He had fine taste in everything; music, clothes…everything he owned was nice. He loved hats and his hats were the kind of hats people constantly stole.” 

This went on for months: Mr Physicality showing up in his hats at hers after work and over the weekend when he would often spend over. His attire started accumulating in her house: his ties, pants, shirts, socks, hats. “I spent over at his house a few times.” She says. “Other than a toothbrush that looked feminine there was no indication that a woman lived there.” She says before getting up to make more tea. She leaves me there wondering what a “feminine toothbrush” looks like.  

“He was one of those guys who you didn’t want to question too much.” She says when she settles back with her tea. She makes a thinking face; creased brows. “It’s how self assured he was…like…he was above questioning. I guess he wasn’t used to being questioned, or challenged, so he always made you hold yourself back.” 

Sometimes he’d be off range a whole weekend. Often his messages would go unanswered for long. “He had a bad relationship with his phone, he acted like it was a bother, so often he’d leave it in the car or forget it at home. So it wasn’t uncommon for him to be gone for days without a word. He was a strange guy.” 

They travelled a bit, he liked safaris. The kind who owned a safari hat. One time they had gone to the Maasai Mara when her phone rang. It was a number she didn’t know so she ignored it and they went for candle lit dinner, at the balcony of the restaurant overlooking the vast darkness of the Mara, the sounds of the nocturnal wild, coming to them through the still, sweet smelling but ominous darkness. The sky was lit by a galaxy of stars that seemed so close she could see them in his eyes. “It was perfect, until my phone started vibrating.” She says, leaning back with a sardonic smile. “I kept ignoring it but he looked at it and said, ‘Pick it,’ so I picked it. It was a lady.” 

The lady said, “Hi, is this Rose?” She said, “Uhm who is this?” The lady said, “This is Martha*. May I please speak to Mike?” 

“She was so decent and kind-sounding, I didn’t even think twice about handing him the phone in spite of how strange the whole thing was.” She says. 

With a puzzled look he took the phone and put it against his ear. Suddenly he looked like all the air was knocked out of him. He pushed back his chair and walked away. She sat there staring at her glass of wine and waited for what seemed like an eternity. When he sat back down they didn’t speak for a moment, as if they both wanted to enjoy the few seconds of the special moment before words completely ruined it. “Who was that?” She finally asked, knowing the answer before he said, “That was the mother of my child.” 

“This was like six months into this relationship. I had never heard of a baby.” She tells me bringing the cup to her mouth with both hands. “I asked him how old this baby was and he said one year old.” 

“Are you with the mother?” She asked him.  

“Yes.” He said. “Sort of.”

“What does sort of mean?” She asked. “You are with her some days of the week and others you aren’t?”

She sighed and slumped back in her chair, like a deflated balloon. He reached out to hold her hands but she retracted them and kept them under the table. She stared out into the darkness, out there where a pride of lions were starting a hunt, headed by a lioness because lions are too busy grooming their manes to be bothered with getting blood on their paws. She wondered how such a perfect moment can turn so sour in two shakes of a duck’s tail. What a waste of stars. She sipped her wine and barely heard him say things before cutting him short. “I’m going to bed.” 

She stood up, dropping her napkin on her untouched dessert, spoiling the pastry chef’s art. A Maasai guard with a big rungu walked her to their tented room. She had packed flimsy things for this romantic trip in the bush. Things you could see through. Things you could eat through. Things that elicited desire, things for the bush that brought out the bushmen in people. Instead she wore to bed things you could bungee-jump in. “That night we had a major row.” She says. “If I could leave the camp that night I would have walked in that wilderness and gotten eaten by wild animals.”

“Where was his family the days you visited?” I ask. 

“Well, he said they only moved in not long ago because his child was asthmatic and he needed to be there.” She says. “But he insisted that they were not married, it was a temporary arrangement.”

They came back to Nairobi and she told him to sod off; take your hats and wear them into the sunset. But he came back the next day with apologies. And the next. And the next. He kept insisting that there was nothing between him and her, that he was being a responsible person, a caring father. “I told him a responsible man would be with his sick baby at home, not dining another woman in the Mara, having his wife look for him through another woman.” She sniggers. “But I was already in love with him and he was a good guy, plus our sex life was through the roof, so I eventually took him back.” 

“What about his baby momma, how did she find your number, did you ever speak to her again?”

“I will come to that.” She says. 

But she just didn’t take him back, she sat him down and told him that she planned to get married. “I was categorical. That was one of the things I was clear about before we got back together. I’m not the type who sits on the side, I’m not the other woman. I want a wedding and a husband who I’m not sharing with someone else.” She said. She grew up in a stable home; mother, father, children, Bible, family car, Sundays spent together, family portraits and holidays spent together praying and eating. Order. No drama with parents.  Well adjusted. “There was never a doubt that I wanted what my parents had.” 

He agreed to marry her “with time” and so they started dating again until eight months later when she saw on Facebook that he had gotten married the weekend he said he would be away at work. “I was in the salon when my friend called me and said she saw someone who is a friend of a friend’s page that had posted a picture of someone who looked like Mike getting married.” She says. “I told her it was impossible, Mike was in Dubai. His phone had rung like he was abroad. She insisted that the gentleman was Mike. She sent me a picture and sure, there was Mike in a suit dancing with a woman in a wedding dress. I couldn’t even breathe. I felt like my bowels would open right there. I didn’t even finish doing my hair, I simply stood up and left.”

With half unfinished hair she went to her car and tried to take in as much air as she could, but she was suffocating. With trembling hands she called his phone, it rang like he was in Dubai but nobody picked it. She called again. And again. Finally someone picked. It was his best friend, who happened to be the Best Man. “Mike is not near his phone now, but I will have him call you.” He said. “Where is he?” She demanded. 

“Listen, Rose.” the Best Man finally said. “You will find out sooner or later and I wish he was the one to tell you this but Mike just got married.” 

She now laughs. “You know, I don’t know what I was thinking even asking where Mike was. I had seen him getting married, yet I was hoping it was all a lie. But it wasn’t. I was crushed. I sat in my car and cried for hours. I couldn’t even drive, so I called my friend who came and drove me home.” 

For two weeks she was sick -she couldn’t leave her bed. She stayed in crying. She didn’t care if she was fired from her job. She didn’t care if she decayed in bed. She woke up crying and went to sleep crying, only getting up to drink water. Her best friend would pass by every evening to try to force her to eat, but she would just throw it all up. “I felt betrayed. I felt worthless. I felt cheated.” She says. After two weeks she crawled out of bed and wore black clothes to the office. Her best friend had gone to work and told them she was depressed. “So at work people were treating me with kid gloves,” she laughs, “Like I was crazy. I waited for Mike to call me. I waited for him to come back from his honeymoon and explain whatever that was about. I needed closure, answers. He never called.” She shakes her head in disbelief.  

Two months went by, no call from him. “It was strange. It was like he never knew me. In fact, the only evidence that I used to know him were his clothes in my wardrobe, which I trashed after one month of mourning.” Mike never called. He simply vanished. Months rolled by. 

“I got into a period that I call my whoring days.” She says. Her tea is now over. “I was drinking a lot and sleeping with men. One night stands were my specialty. I was bitter. You can’t imagine how easy it is to pick men from bars if you are even half beautiful. I never had a problem getting a man. I sat alone at the counter and flirted with unaccompanied men I found attractive.  A man would ask me what I was drinking, but I would tell him, ‘No, what are you drinking’ which I’d buy him, then he’d move closer and we would drink and if I liked him I’d go back home with him. This went on for a long time, maybe a year or so, I don’t know, maybe more.”

One day she was going back home from the bar, driving her small German vehicle when she slept on the wheel. “When I woke up I was in Nairobi Hospital. I had tubes in me. The man I had carried broke both his legs. He’s still in a wheelchair up to date.” She says. (These are the people newspapers refer to as “unidentified male/ female’). Unbeknownst to her, she had been unconscious for five days in the ICU. Her brain had swelled. Her parents were in the room when she woke up. The room smelled of methylated spirit. Everything seemed bright. Her head, swathed in bandages, felt like someone had used it as the white ball in a pool game. She couldn’t hear what everybody was saying. She was awake for what seemed like a minute before she went under again. 

When she woke up again briefly she was alone in a different room, this one with a TV. Then she went under again. Up again to her mother oiling her lips with vaseline. Then under. When she came up again, there were relatives and a forest of get-well cards, flowers, she was told later, were irritating her. “I couldn’t recall a thing; one moment I was driving and the next I was here. I was told the car was written off.”

The second day of her complete consciousness, she spent some time dealing with visitors then when they finally left, she had dinner and settled in to sleep. Suddenly there was a soft knock. “I thought it was one of the visitors again only to turn and see Mike standing at the door.” She says. “It was surreal, like seeing a ghost. I hadn’t seen him in something close to one year.”

He came and sat on her bed and said, “Don’t scare us like that again,” because that’s just something a man with physicality would say. She wanted to tell him, “Scare you and who, your wife?” But she was tired and weak. “I just stared at him. I think I might have asked him how his wife was. I don’t remember but I remember him coming daily to visit me after that, mostly after visiting hours and bringing me half bars of white chocolate or silly things like a half sucked lollipop or half eaten cake that he had saved for me from lunch because he knew I loved cake. He brought everything in halves. He said it’s because I was his most important half.” 

I chuckle at that. Fresh Mike, fresh. 

Either it’s because of the bump to her head, she says, or the near miss of death, but she grew so fond of him again in the hospital. He visited daily and she looked forward to those visitations. He seemed different; he had added weight, his shoulders rounded off in his shirts, had a bigger neck. After she got out of the hospital he continued passing by her new house to see her, bringing her groceries, skiving work to go make her meals.  

“Did you ask him about Dubai?” I ask. 

“Dubai?” 

“That’s the code word for wedding.” 

She laughs. 

“Oh yeah, we definitely talked about it. He owned up. But you have to realise that I was recovering at that time and I was very vulnerable. Plus, him being there meant so much. I can’t explain it.” She says just as the doorbell rings. It sounds like a church bell. She gets up and goes to the door where she speaks to someone with a deep voice, then she says, “Sawa, ahsante,” then closes the door. She stands at the door reading the contents from the brown envelope before placing it on the stool near the door. 

“We started seeing each other again.” She says. “I can’t explain to you why. This was something totally against how I was raised and what I wanted. Remember me saying I was never going to be the other woman? Life, I tell you because there I was.”

“Did that mark the end of what you call your whoring days?” 

“Pretty much.” She cringes. “A near fatal road accident changes you. It marked the end of my drinking and picking up men, except there was this one guy I liked during those days who stayed around on and off. His name was Micah -”

“Like Micah from the Bible?” 

“Yah. By the way what big thing did Micah do?”

“I don’t know. He’s like Habakkuk. Nobody really knows what that Habakkuk guy did.” 

We share an illicitly blasphemous chuckle. “Anyway, Micah was one of the men I’d bring back home frequently.”

“Why?”

“Because he was just a freak, if you have to know Biko.” She laughs.

“I’m sorry, then.” 

I have to go back to the bathroom. All that tea. Plus to stretch my back and take a small wee-break. The door to one of the bedrooms is ajar and I see a toy as I head back. 

“So I was seeing Micah and Mike. Micah was random, he was a bit dysfunctional, drinking a lot borrowing money from me, that kind of thing. But he made me laugh, he was good with people. Mike on the other hand was sort of constant but the lines were not defined and I knew he was never going to leave his wife. We were sort of in an open relationship, sort of.” 

“One day the wife tracked me to my salon. I don’t know how that woman would track me.” She says. She told her that they were expecting another child. “It was a very weird encounter but she was so sweet and I felt bad for her and for this whole situation.” 

Four months after that visit and almost another year after leaving the hospital she went for her routine check up and pap smear results from her gynae. It was a Friday, she remembers, Friday afternoon, she had taken time off work. The doctor stared at her results without saying anything and immediately she knew they contained bad news. “He started counselling me…he started off with your results don’t mean the end of life… I didn’t wait for him to finish, I grabbed my results from him and right there it was; HIV positive.”

She remembers his lips moving and her slipping from her chair. She recalls the ground coming at her and then darkness. When she woke up, she was on the observation table with the clinic nurse standing over her. Her feet were propped over a pillow. 

“When you are diagnosed, you sort of walk in a daze for weeks, sleepless nights. You look at your veins and imagine that your blood is dirty. You are sure your life is over. I was having nightmares where I was dying and watching myself die, my parents crying around me, my friends touching my coffin, a cheap and shiny wooden thing. I dreamed of my own funeral many times. I started losing weight because I wasn’t able to eat and feed this virus in me. Plus, I was always worrying.

“Did you tell Mike?”

“That’s the story. I suspected where I had gotten it from. It could have been Mike but most likely Micah because we stopped using condoms at some point.” She says. “But it could have been maybe one other guy I slept without a condom during my whoring days. He had lied to me that he had used a condom and since I was drunk, I didn’t bother to confirm. I only discovered in the morning, when I searched the room for used rubber and I didn’t get.”

“So, Mike?”

“Yeah, I didn’t tell him. I could have told him but I opted not to at that time.”

“What stopped you?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t know how he would take it. I didn’t want him to leave me. That would mean me being alone. I wanted a child, remember, now that a marriage was out of the table?”

“Why was a marriage out of table?”

“Who would marry an HIV positive woman in her 30s?” She asks bitterly. “I can’t think of anyone to be honest. It’s hard enough for a 30 year old woman without HIV to meet anyone even today.” 

So she kept her status to herself. And when Mike came to see her, in his hat and proper shoes, they had sex that day. And the end of that week. And they continued having sex, her lying there knowing what she knew. She continued going for her counselling and tests to see if she could start on ARVs, her health improved. 

“Every cough would scare me. Every rash. Every headache was a sign of death.” She says. “I started keeping away from people, being alone in my house, avoiding friends and family. I became very withdrawn and lonely. I was so sad that I wouldn’t have the marriage my mother and father had. That I would probably die alone. As time went by I started reading about having a baby and if my baby would be positive and during that time such information was scanty. I wanted a baby to occupy me, to give me purpose. I met a doctor who said that I could get a baby. So I removed my diaphragm without telling Mike and sure enough six months later I got pregnant.” 

“What did Mike say?” 

“He wasn’t ready for a baby, with me, but since he had put me through so much he sort of relented.” She says. “He was guilty from the wedding and so I could get my way with many things.” 

“If he wasn’t the one who infected you, was there a chance you intentionally infected him as punishment?” I ask because I have been dying to ask. 

She looks at me and for a moment I think she’s going to change her mind about the interview. “Biko.” She says, looking away. She’s quiet for a while. I can hear her leg banging against the leg of the table. She gets up and takes the cups to the sink where she takes time washing them and drying them. She might have OCD, I think, looking at how spotless everything is.  

“You think that’s the case?” She asks me almost with some hostility when she gets back.  

“I don’t know. I was just wondering.” I say, suddenly feeling unmoored. 

She’s quiet for a while. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” She says. “He has a family, a wife he goes home to. What do I have? A moment, three hours with him? He sneaks around, having his cake and eating it, what do I have?”

“Do you love him?”

“Of course.”

“So why wouldn’t you tell him?”

“It’s not that simple Biko. It may look simple but it’s not.” She says. We sit there for a bit. I’m thinking about Habakkuk now because I’m too tired to be honest. I make a mental note to Google the guy. Surely, he must have done something with his life. 

She got a baby, HIV negative baby. Maybe the baby was a bouncing baby, as they say, maybe this one didn’t bounce. The baby is now old enough and was taken by one of her relatives to the mall before I came. Mike is still in the picture, oblivious of her status. Micah is a fading story. I look at her and she doesn’t look HIV positive, which is a foolish thing to say in 2019. But still. 

“I thought my baby would fill me with happiness, and they do. But there is another type of unhappiness that a baby can’t fill.” She says. “It’s of knowing that I will never marry, which is something I really wanted to do. To have a wedding, a white one. To say I do, to someone who is mine, not someone who leaves. I feel that I wasted all my best life on Mike and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. Just my baby, yes, but what else? I’m HIV positive, headed to my 40s, I’m technically single with no shot at love or lasting companionship. I think about growing old alone and it fills me with dread. But I also think about dying before my baby is old enough, dying thin and wasted and bitter and leaving my baby behind and that’s even worse.”

“Is keeping the secret from Mike burdening?”

“Yes!” She says. “Oh yes. It is. Sometimes I hear of his plans for the future, things he wants to do, he’s very ambitious, and I think to myself, you have HIV, I hope you live right to see those plans happen.” 

“How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel like it’s your small win?”

“Win? No. I just feel like he has to be responsible for where we are, here.”

“How?”

She crosses her arms across her chest and thinks. “Sometimes I want him to share the kind of worries I have. I think he sleeps soundly next to his wife yet he doesn’t know the full story of his own life. Maybe he does.” 

“What if he reads this? Won’t he know it’s you?”

“If he knows, he knows.”

“Was this your idea, him reading this and finding out?”

“No. But if he knows through the blog then he knows. We don’t choose how we receive bad news.”

Remember that old smile? She flashes it again when I leave. She walks me to the car downstairs and at the car (I’m parked under a tree that looks as old as her smile), I tell her. “One last question,” she’s standing in the sun, blocking the light with her forearm. “Who is the father of your child?” 

She laughs and drops her arm. “Is it important?” She asks me to which I say, “Only if you say it is.” She looks at her feet – she’s wearing those slip on fluffy house shoes. She then says, “Only a mother knows the true father of her child.” So I bid her goodbye and as I reverse, I watch her long shadow follow her as she walks deliberately to the staircase of her house; a house full of contradiction, a house full of love born from hurt, of a heart that beats with loneliness. 

As I drive out of their main gate, I think of only one thing.

Habakkuk. 

 

***

 

Have a compelling marriage story? Please email me on bikozulu@gmail.com 

 

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810 Comments
    1. Butwaa’d.

      Bumbuaz’d

      Beaten by the two above.

      Sijui nisemeje.

      I mean. What do I mean. I did not see this one coming.

      From the cloak and dagger beginning, I knew I was in for a thriller. Lakini, I’m dumfounded.
      Yaani I hate and feel sorry for both Mike & Rose simultaneously. Eti I’m unable to pick sides.

      And why is she so sure that she’s infected Mike. This dude could still come out negative or a carrier. And who is to say that she can’t find love. Her story is still being written. As long as she is still alive, there are still possibilities.

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  1. I have goosebumps all over, unfortunately she is punishing not only Mike but an innocent wife and children …i think not telling him is a retaliatory move against the past hurt, Heart wrenching !! Her Kid might not have gotten HIV but what of the other woman’s kids?!!!!!

    132
    1. My exact sentiments. Poor child and mother. Yet again, poor child. Mother both knew that father was sleeping around and still hang on. What did she expect to come of it. Either way, a sad story of betrayal, bitterness, revenge. I hope she finds the peace to love herself again

      31
    2. Don’t heap any blame on Rose. Mike is 100% responsible for himself and his family! Get out of here with your innocent kids bla bla! We carry the sins and guilt of our parents so parents must always remember that!

      Tokeni hapa na feeling bad for Mike, you reap what you sow!

      280
      1. Maybe Mike had it all along. You can’t just say that she infected him. She didn’t mention of them testing earlier in the story. With HIV, you never know

        67
      2. I love you. Feeling sorry for Mike is like choosing the lesser of a sin and hoping that you are not sinning. Naah mah, MIKE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS LIFE AND CHILDREN PLUS FAMILY. I am actually sorry for Rose who had to deal with heart breaks for a year plus. Come on. Go get tested if you want your kids to not have to suffer from your unfaithfulness. Period. Lets all go get tested.

        27
    3. Mike’s wife’s (future) kids may be negative should she go for prenatal visits to her a gynecologist… A pregnant woman is ordinarily tested for HIV….

      This girl is hurt, deeply so. I hope she finds peace.

      27
    4. None of his children will be +ve just mike and the wife. Coz as soon as you are pregnant you are tested. And treatment started to make sure you get a -ve child.

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      1. What if the Mike’s wife was breastfeeding the youngest child but was negative at the time she was pregnant. It’s still a sad affair.

        3
        1. I actually think she’s the one being played. Moms and dads are always tested during antenatal visits , I feel like Mike knows his status assuming he ain’t a carrier.

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    5. Fortunately,there’s prenatal testing for HIV and I hope Mike’s wife got that. If she’s been pregnant recently,she must know her status.

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    6. Yikes…. I’ve never read something that is this scary in a long while. Anyway actions and consequences. Mike’s wife knew what she was getting herself into and still married him…. Those were her actions and the consequences. Oh well! Life in this big city.

      6
  2. Oh my God, what did I just read. It is not fair to her, the other woman and even to Mike. But choices have consequences. But she didn’t tell us where the other woman or Mike’s wife got her number. May God be with them, and bless the kids. I hope the kids find happiness.

    28
    1. Are you guys seriously feeling sorry for Mike? What a joke
      He probably infected her, and even if he didn’t, with his philandering whorish ways, it was a matter of time
      Stop defending him in the name of “the kids”; they’ll be fine as long as the mum(s) attended prenatal clinics which always check your HIV status

      14
      1. My point Exactly, that man should be executed. He is responsible for all his actions, gaaai that part when he left for “Dubai”, I felt like I was dreaming.

        7
  3. But what is love though?

    This is a very chilling piece simply because of the betrayals. I have felt angry for Mike but then now I am angry at both of them and a little scared for Mike. If he does read this blog and find out the bad news will he be gracious enough with his physicality to swallow a poison he has brewed for years? I am also wondering why she has resigned to fate – sort of – clearly love comes fast and hard and she can’t say it won’t ever come.

    Lakini maya maundu nie! God safe us!

    164
    1. Me Too. When it started, I hated Mike. No woman should be treated like that. But then, the way this was ending, I feel angry. Angry at them both. They say when a woman loves, but there is no fury like a woman scorned. Such poetry on the duality of love .

      58
  4. That Mike guy must be luo…I’m sure you’ve heard of that joke that if you’d boyfriend is luo you must check on them every weekend coz they could just be getting married.

    Anyway, it’s a conflicting story, her getting infected out of whoring brought about by a heart break and then infecting him is kind of subtle revenge. I wish her well with her demons, we all are battling some every day.

    115
    1. Please do not do this. There some Luo men who might be like this, and so are there Kikuyu, kamba, meru and what other men you might think of. Generalizing them is not cool. But who knows, until you experience it you can not trully narrate it. This story is touching. But most important lesson is, if you are unfaithful, even with an inch. PLEASE GO GET TESTED FREQUENTLY. Aslo, PLEASE USE DAMN PROTECTION. Biko always blessing my heart with well written Pieces.

      4
    1. What, I think she’s a trash person. Like bottom of the barrell, sore on Satan’s Amy’s type of trash person. Her and Mike deserve each other.

      9
  5. Nair0bi! Nairobi! She might never find happiness because she chooses to be selfish and from her description the wife to mike is a good lady and the universe has a way of protecting such women! As for mike wah!

    18
  6. OMG. I know she has been through alot but not telling Mike is extremely selfish of her. What about Mike’s other children and wife? Isn’t it against the law to knowingly infect another with HIV?

    15
  7. This is just sad. Love and marriage is off the table because she chooses so. Not because of her status or age. I hope she gets over her bitterness, embrace hope and for goodness sake, tell Mike about her status

    25
  8. Think of that feeling you feel now, and you ain’t even part of the story.
    My only prayer is for the kids, “may God guide their stories, as he heals their parents to what might come”

    Be kind, especially to the unkind; they need it the most.

    55
    1. Habakkuk, who was active around 612 BC, was a prophet whose oracles and prayer are recorded in the Book of Habakkuk, the eighth of the collected twelve minor prophets in the Hebrew Bible. He is revered by Jews, Christians, and Muslims.

      37
  9. Weh! Sijui niseme……
    Chocolate man, hizo chicks umeandika hapo, si ni vifaranga
    Halafu, kwani hujawahi kunywa purple tea before, just add a dash of lemon

    7
  10. This is what happens when you have many balls in the air, Mike.
    Like he should have just let her be and concentrated on building a family with his wife.
    Instead, he chose to bring half eaten lollipops and cakes. Sasa ona.

    97
    1. Indeed first comment I’ve seen on the word “manly” I’m not sure why Mike is being given a free pass on this, he is the one who pursued her twice, first time at at an office convention, second time at her most vulnerable state. So he clearly knows what he is getting into, setting up his wife and his kids, his family and also false promising another lady. One should never ever do that so just to get laid. I call him a brother with no game, lying his way through to get his own selfish pleasures. Dude needs to be called out on this one, and other men on this matter.

      3
  11. Who comes to mind with that description of the manly man with ‘physicality’? Oyunga Pala. Then with the development of the story, I start thinking that this her man is not as manly as portrayed. I hope this lady gets help, sounds like she needs a hand. Thanks for sharing Biko

    15
  12. does she also know that the wife of Mike who’s all nice will be infected. What about the kids does she think of the kids that Mike and the wife have, who will take care of them!!!!

    4
    1. Haven’t you stopped to think that mike could be the one who infected her in the first place…
      When getting their 2nd baby, they must have known coz a blood test is always done on the mother…. To ensure she’s not positive…. Or take precautions if she is….

      9
    2. I feel like writing a whole story just to expressed how sad I am on people feeling sad for Mike. Really, Mike has had control over his life. He knew even when he was with Rose that his wife was in another woman. He came back after a year of no word to get back to Rose who hurt for a year plus. Who knows that he was not having other many Roses around before he chose to seek the bottom of the calabash? I think we are overlooking the fact that Rose is human, and she can only be a woman. Plus its not like Mike is innocent. He is dirty a cheater, a lair, a betrayer and all sort of bad things he is trash he deserves worse than this. The kids, the hospital got them. Please do not bring no kid here. And the Mikes wife, why feel sorry for her? She has been calling Mike through other women’s phone numbers so she knew what she was getting herself too. Things will figure them out. Do not judge. But if you want to judge, kindly judge all the sides. Period, great piece. KUPIMWA NI BURE. GO GET TESTED. PROTECT YOUR PEOPLE. ITS NOT PEOPLE TO PROTECT YOU SO YOU PROTECT YOUR PEOPLE.

      8
    1. I think that’s illegal, you have a bigger responsibility to protect yourself than she does to protect others. The essence of individuality.

      3
    1. She must have got it from his phone. You know how when you know your partner ain’t straight, you inevitably start searching for evidence.

      4
  13. Crap! But how long can one live with HIV and not know? seems like years she had had HIV. And Mike hasn’t shown any signs? Maybe Mike is positive as well. Oh crap!

    15
      1. Someone here posted that some people have a high threshold for bullshit and now that I think about it,that is so true. How do you stoop as low as calling another woman to ask to speak to your man, The wife to Mike was sooo nice it is fishy. I would imagine if you knew your husband was HIV positive you would be less concerned about him having affairs.
        I think Mike infected her with HIV,how long can one stay in Window stage since clearly their relationship has been on for such a long time. Is it even possible that since she is on medication her viral load is low and thus she cannot actually infect someone else?
        There are all this questions that need answers.
        Ah….let me google about Habakkuk.

        53
        1. I agree with you Ruth. The niceness of the lady is way too fishy. Mike could have infected her kitambo sana…. maybe he was unable to tell Rose the truth about his status. Mike’s wife wouldnt mind his HIV+ husband sleeping around, nway the mipangos would face the consequnces.

          I doubt the kids are positive; nowadays testing takes place very early during pregnancy period.

          I wonder if the man with broken legs was married and if he was aliambia bibi alikuwa anafanya nini

          12
          1. I highly suspect Mike’s wife knew that Mike was infected. She called Rose and asked to speak to Mike without causing a fuss. How suspicious!

            3
        2. I really agree with you Ruth. Really. The wife deserves all that. No one should feel sorry for her. There is no way you reach your man through other women and still marry him and expect any good off him. TRASH. Yaaani this story has left me feeling like, WHAAAAAAT!!!! Full of emotions right now.

          2
  14. Good story and it has ended with suspense. So many unanswered questions, But how is it possible Mike doesn’t know of his HIV positive status?

    10
  15. Whaaat! Chesus…. I feel for this lady. My friends need to read this; we are all waiting for these men to marry us and who knows; things could end up like this! But why? It’s time to make peace with being single…IS OKAY. This is too much trouble. Cheers to those OKAY with being single till 100 years old. If it happens we get married, isoright! if not…. We shall be here reading and commenting on these stories! Waaaaah! So sorry though, dear Rose.

    91
    1. I had a family friend get married at 50 and when you see them together, it’s that puppy love kind of thing. After that, I was like, it’s never that serious. It will happen when it happens!

      94
      1. This Mike is not young. Any man above 40 years should carry himself with some level of responsibility, not sleeping around like a stray dog. Karma has put him in his place. Hopefully he won’t infect other women. #BullShit

        4
    2. I see myself in this woman. I was lucky I had the strength to leave. It’s not as easy as people make it out to be. The fact that she went back after so much time had elapsed and she had undergone so much hurt dealing with that shit scares me. I hope she heals for her and her kid. That man was not worth all the damage to her life. It’s never too late to start over rose. As for Mike grow some balls and just decide what you want. You are not as manly as rose paints you to be. A real man understands that choices have consequences and you have no idea what that statement needs.

      13
    3. HM,
      Being married is not everything.
      I was married to such a man.. he slept around, omg he did!!!!!!!
      At some point I found him ‘with a junior sales lady he had given a job’ in my matrimonial bed….. long story.. may be Biko should record this story one day. My story would leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth, but it would help gals be more careful before jumping into marriage.

      Eventually I had to close that door and opt to live alone, with my two children.

      8
  16. karma is a bitch.
    Mike will know of his status through the blog, just like she knew of the wedding. That is a woman scorned.
    Veeeery thin line between love and hate.

    63
  17. Weuh, life is brutal. Please Rose, tell Mike atleast he starts ARV’s and his wife too for the sake of the children. It is also good for all of you to avoid picking other strains with careless sexual behavior from Mike who doesn’t know. This could mean more spreading of the disease!:-(

    11
  18. Do let us know what you find out about Habakkuk… This one has me all up in my feelings. Let me go sip on my not purple tea that’s not purple and ruminate over this. Meanwhile, Habakkuk…

    5
    1. Maybe that’s why he disappeared. Perhaps he knows and has always known that he was infected but never told her and the hospital visits were timed because he thought that they might have told her that she was infected and then he showed up to save her.

      37
  19. My mind is on overdrive… I’m Overthinking… Wondering if the child has a relationship with his father (Whoever he is).. wondering if Mrs. Mike (i.e Dubai wife) knows that she is probably a person living with HIV.. Wondering what the deal with Mike is – Like after he got married, what courage he had to come back and warm his way to Rose.. My mind is also questioning what real love is and who loves who here… I have so many questions and then there is Habakkuk!!

    57
    1. YOU KNOW!!!!! i have a million questions! i literally failed to sleep because of Mike and Habakkuk! As if this story isn’t headache enough, Biko had the nerves to add Habakkuk to the mix…
      My questions: how did wifey get Rose’s number? like the nerve of ‘can i speak to Mike????!!!!”, Is baby mama baby number 1 and Dubai wife the same? what if they are 2 different women? possibility…there we see Mike and his philandering ways!, How dare he warm his way back to her after everything he put her through?, What if she contracted HIV during her whoring days? What if Mike gave it to her? And then there’s Micah??!!, Will Mike contain is physicality when he finds out?, Oh crap the very innocent souls 🙁 … Jesus my head is spinning!

      8
  20. ….She sighed and slumped back in her chair, like a deflated balloon. He reached out to hold her hands but she retracted them and kept them under the table. She stared out into the darkness, out there where a pride of lions were starting a hunt, headed by a lioness because lions are too busy grooming their manes to be bothered with getting blood on their paws. She wondered how such a perfect moment can turn so sour in two shakes of a duck’s tail. What a waste of stars. She sipped her wine and barely heard him say things before cutting him short. “I’m going to bed.” ……

    Passing this to my students.

    23
  21. Wow.. What a compelling read. Thanks Biko. Umh.. I feel like Mike deserves that HIV. She messed this lady’s life and he can’t just expect to walk Scott free like. Choices have consequences. To Rose, you can live more than 100 years even with the virus.. Just eat clean and take your meds. And girl.. Happiness is a choice.. Choose to be happy. Get you a guy who is also in the same status.. Mike ain’t the only guy on this planet. It’s not all lost baby girl. Choose to be happy.

    53
    1. I actually think otherwise. I think she messed up her own life. That first phone call from his wife, should have been enough for her keep it steppin’ .

      38
      1. I’m just wondering..is it really possible for a woman to call a side chick and politely ask her to hand over the phone to her man?? In this world? No way!!!!

        There’s more to Mrs.Dubai than meets the eye..
        #demandingforPart2.

        2
      2. I agree with you .l dont know why we hold onto idiots.
        there are so many nice men out there its a matter of choosing what you really want

        1
  22. Biko you are too dramatic…wayyyy to loo dramatic!!! But thats a really sad read, sometimes I don’t want to imagine people going through life just because. Good people suffer from others bad decisions and bad people get away with being bad everyday!!! Imagine that child or even Mike’s wife

    2
  23. My head is just reeling from all of this.The betrayal from both sides,the hurt,the loneliness,everything.May Rose find the love that she so much yearns for.And for this situation-ship of theirs,I really have no words.Brilliant read as always,Biko

    2
  24. Oh my!…
    I don’t know what to say!
    What about the wife and her children?
    Do we realize that what we do affects so many people?
    What is the wife world coming to?

    Why wouldn’t this Mike guy just settle down with his wife and quit all The drama?

    All I can think of is the wife and her two children…..why didn’t she just leave the guy when she realized he was cheating?
    Sad sad sad.

    8
  25. When pregnant, isn’t HIV test a must? If so then Mike, if infected knows and chose to shut up bout it too. Can’t still believe what i read….

    22
    1. Yes HIV Test is a must so i think Mike knows too and kept silent since he has put Rose through alot already how does he tell her again he is positive

      8
    1. I also feel the same. Someone who knows what he is doing so well. Perhaps he already started taking ARVS long before poor Rose knew she was infected. Additionally during the ANC visit that the wife attends she must have realized.
      Rose ni yeye amechezwa, akafanyiwa hadi phychological manipulation thinking she us the onw who infected this Mike guy.
      Anyway I hope she finds peace and Hope to hold onto life.

      7
  26. This lady has committed a crime. Infecting someone knowingly is punishable by jail term not exceeding 10 years or a fine not exceeding 500k, either or both. But how on earth is someone this reckless and selfish!!

    4
    1. Dear Kate, we never say never in life.
      This guy messed this chic up.
      The only mistake she did was allow herself to be drawn into misery.
      Loving someone is bad at times. It can tear you apart without ‘”you” knowing.

      1
      1. You are very wrong. “Mike found free meals and he ate them”. He never “messed” Rose up. She was naive.
        Sleeping with a man is NO GUARANTEE for ANYTHING. They had no prior agreement before having sex, that he would marry her. She let herself loose – I am not looking down upon her (We all make mistakes).
        Rose made no effort to stop the first uninvited kiss – that’s a license right there !! And it reads “Rose hereby gives you power to deal with her as you please.”
        She was sleeping with the guy for months – still no agreement. Seriously ? Only a desperate guy or a poor judge of character would actually marry such a girl. In all probability, Mike asked himself, “If it was easy for me, won’t it be easy for other men when we are married ?”. He probably decided that the answer was a yes and married someone else.
        And whoaring days – random guys taken home ? This is extreme – not normal behavior even for a depressed woman. By then, she was not on a mission e.g. to infect anyone. So why did she give herself to random guys ? Perhaps Mike had a hunch about Rose and her boundaries. She plays with fire – she invited a stranger to her own house for an interview …. what if he was a “Sicko” who interprets such as an invitation for sex ?
        Mike may have been overly nice to her – but he was getting free sex …..
        Bottom line is that both Mike and Rose lived the kind of lives where, it would be a miracle if they came out clean – no babies, no HIV, no disappointed side dishes.
        Casual Sex is like those drugs you take and it steels your time – (you get knocked out for hours or days).
        If you are single at 25 and having lots of casual sex, hitting 40 alone without a spouse is a real possibility even for men.

        16
  27. Am 30+ still single… Am I happy? yes! Marriage is not an accomplishment neither is having kids. Nobody gives you happiness it comes from within. When will y’all learn

    75
    1. Yes! Exactly. The day you discover that your happiness is in your hands is the day you’ll find real freedom. Martha Teresa, Lupita Nyongo, the CBK governor – Patrick Njoroge are all singles who are fulfilled and unapologetic about their status.

    2. Yaaaas! That’s the spirit I’m 27 and ain’t scared the 30s may come knocking while single (I was scared). I’m NOT now. It’s freeeeeing!

      1
  28. I work in a CCC clinic somewhere, and the truth is that its impossible to differentiate someone who is Reactive by just looking at them physically. So, here is the deal; advocate for self testing- before lungula, know their status. Secondly, use a condom. Always. Thirdly, remember having sex around while drunk is no different from driving while drunk, coz either way, the journey ends disastrously (though not always) Lastly, the number of people who get infected while in the act of love, is higher, way much higher than those who get infected under different circumstances.

    16
  29. Bikooo!!! Owada!!! Piny tek maduong!!! Aol!! Inegowa!! These Apoha males are so cocksure of their moves believing they can never go wrong and nothing bad happens to them. He should have let her go! He knew he wielded “power” over her. He started off as the liar now see where this girl is. See where he is and how his family’s life is changed or about to change once he reads this coz Alpha males read every article Biko writes!

    As for the girl…. When a girl loves she loves hard and loss of love drives a girl to some level of madness only a woman can understand. See she got his baby despite knowing her status? That tells a lot.. Only he could sire her child. She needs to make peace with herself and make very hard decisions and forge on to her freedom coz she’s caged right now.

    Rose….. May God favor you and shield you from atleast the HIV and pain….

    15
  30. Jeez..what happened to basic HIV/AIDS awareness in Kenya? If your HIV positive and your CD4 count is undetectable you CANNOT infect your partner with HIV. If your promiscuous and HIV negative, consult a doctor for pre-exposure pills or PreP as there called, they will reduce your chances of infection by 90%. If your positive, take your ARVs(which are free btw), eat healthy, exercise, in no time your CD4 count will be undetectable and you won’t be able to infect people with HIV. There needs more to be done on HIV awareness in Kenya.

    https://www.healthline.com/health-news/cdc-person-with-undetectable-hiv-cannot-transmit-virus#1
    https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/risk/prep/index.html

    16
  31. Mike already knows about his status.
    I can only imagine how many more families are in such a situation. Very selfish from both ends. Choices have consequences

    9
  32. I can’t help but wonder,did the HIV come after Mike’s wife got their second baby?Because hiv screeening is done during pregnancies.Mike was selfish to do a wedding and lie to Rose but what she is doing is evil.

    1
  33. Kama hiyo ndo mapenzi, reke nemwo! Also, I think Mike is the infector. There is no way he could stay for that long without discovering his status. Another thing, if you scorn a man/woman this much tafadhali avoid them. Revenge will come, sometimes at the expense of people that do not deserve to be part of it.

    3
  34. I wonder if Mike will read this to know his status, I feel sorry for his wife. She is good, She knows a thing about FBI.
    Don’t kill me for wondering if these stories are real.

  35. So Mike thinks the baby is his.He also doesn’t know he has been sleeping with a HIV positive woman.The say when a woman decides to seek revenge, even the devil sits down to take notes!

    8
  36. Damn! This is one crazy story! But, hey, Rose you can still find love. You can still find true love. You can still have your white wedding just like you wanted from kitambo. As long as you are still alive, you can still fulfill your dreams and enjoy life. Yes you can!

    Alafu, Biko, did you discover what Habakkuk did with his life that matters? Lols!

    6
  37. Am worried about Micah? Yaani its as if he does not even exist. And so do many other characters in this,what about them- Mikes wife? Wow what a trail of pain , bitterness, unforgiveness and bad choices!! Does it have to be this fatalistic view? No ……but its someones choice to have this view of life.. There is still life and a full life if she would face the truth. I truly feel heartbreak for those who are just collateral damage- out of no mistakes of their own…….. as a result of our daily choices.

    2
  38. first, i wanted to say that i have not yet experienced the foolish bravery and nerve that is , Mike; then i get to the end and i feel like i am walking in the grim ripper’s wall of fame; it is just too much!!!

    1
  39. This story has left a bad taste to my mouth somehow. However, Reading it I could tell what would happen next. It’s strange. I expected that ending, it hasn’t come as a surprise. Choices do have consequences, I must say. From that Fake exaggerated machismo, to him dogging his wife, to her going back to him, to contracting hiv, it all reads like a book. I deep down wish her a better life, making wise decisions with a great man and a beautiful life.

    1
  40. “We carry around a sack full of experiences that are inevitably accompanying us, no matter how hard we try to avoid them”…..when we dig into the sack, we find painful memories and wounds. The wounds we bear can heal but will leave scars. One day, Rose will find peace and closure, her wounds will heal and I hope she has the courage to live with her scars

    5
  41. There are hollows that success will not fill that’s why the lady did what she did,i’m sorry to all the parties caught up in this, but then again (they enjoyed while it lasted). Her telling Mike that she is sick can’t compare to the heartache that guy put her in . All the best girl.

    1
  42. Gosh Biko, that was a sad, confusing, and slightly annoying story. But, you made me laugh at the same time. Now I have to Google Habbakuk and feminine toothbrush..

    As always, thank you for making my week and you are forgiven for last Tuesday and enjoying the bloody Remy Martin!

    2
  43. I just couldn’t hold my tears. This story got me praying for all these strangers. Mike, Micah, Rose, the kids, even Habbakuk needs them prayers men !!!

    1
  44. Mike already knew his status….so this blog will just be like a corruption case on Citizen TV-expected,nothing unheard of.

    Micah,, chukua selfie.

    a great piece .

    2
  45. How sure are we it ain’t Mike who infected her?I feel her pain.So many people will get hurt by Mike’s selfishness he began it all. Damn you Mike. My sentiments

    7
  46. My oooh My,,this is so shocking. Choices have consequences. mike, rose, the kids. and there is still the guy they had an accident with. confined to a wheelchair. such is life!!!!!

    2
  47. Haki sasa hizi ni gani tena? Arrrrrrrghhh. What is life? And where does God sit sometimes?

    Rose, I am so sorry you had to go through all these. But I wish you would just live a little.
    Try and leave Mike and find someone who will choose you first.

    I wouldnt say Mike deserves it. But i just said it. What if he is the one who infected her?

    I dont judge!!!!!!!

    1
  48. Oh how lonely…gave it up for him…and yet nothing to show for it. God forbid. Its not love its the feeling of being in a comfort zone. Not able to let go. But then again..who is able to. Damn…Grrrrr…

    1
  49. Too many broken souls. I think Mike knows. Whhy did he disappear to go have a wedding? How is Micah? How is the guy with broken legs? Too many unaswered questions. Mike’s wife and kids are at risk. Weeeh

  50. Dear Mike, I really hope you get to read this. It is your fault you know. Or maybe not. I honestly don’t know if Rose did the right thing or not. Perhaps I’d do the same given the circumstances. I just pray and hope that Rose will finally find peace and happiness and live long to see her child grow. As for Mike’s wife, perhaps you should never have gloated for bagging the man and literally rubbed it in Rose’s face. I feel like she was punishing you both. This is so confusing yet so real.

    1
  51. I don’t think Rose is entirely to blame…what if she got the virus from Mr physicality and he didn’t wanna tell her he was +ve and he and his wife are living as discordant couples or are both infected…
    Kwani how long does it take for hiv symptoms to start showing after infection?

    5
    1. Varies from one person to another. Initial symptoms may manifest 1-2 months after infection. Some people have HIV for years before they know they have it

  52. Mike and other cheating men should learn from this. How bitterness kills from inside and how you put your families and innocent people at risk out of your own selfish desires. This is some hot mess

    3
  53. “Everything happens for a reason” such stories leave me wondering what are the reasons for all these.Is it love when the view is so blinded………………

    1
  54. Am in utter shock!!! What a brutal world we live in!!!! Life has a way of throwing back every bad/good deed we do in equal measure…..The only glitch or magic bullet is, people in our mix also get to experience the consequences.

    2
  55. God created women , then created a woman. Geez how does she live this way. But like we say here in Uganda… especially Kansanga where Biko studied some specimen….women can have “heart”!!!

    2
  56. I had a Mike. His wife called me when we were in Hemingways Karen having a super romantic brunch. Their first born had just been admitted to hospital and she couldn’t get him on the phone.I left like 20 times before i finally left.I have a child with him so I have to interact with him now and then. Hes gotten a new side piece who calls once in a while to vent.I feel we should form an association of the women in his life.

    15
  57. Jesu!!
    I am literally shook!!
    So maybe she did not deserve to be strung along like that but she consciously choose to take him back .
    I pity Mike’s innocent wife .
    I pity Mike .
    I pity Micah.
    I pity Micah’s current wife/ girlfriend .
    I really pity the guy in the wheelchair .

    4
  58. This is one sad read. I can’t begin to imagine what Rose is going through right now. The betrayal, loneliness, and constant feelings of unworthiness/emptiness. It’s too much to take even for the best of us. However, Mike’s betrayal doesn’t justify what Rose is doing to all these people. As a matter of fact, this whole story tells us more about Rose as a person than it does about Mike’s cheating and disloyalty. Rose comes off as a spiteful human being with no remorse.

    We get it. Life disappointed Rose. Does that make her special? Give her the right to go around ruining life for everyone else? She didn’t get the life she’s always envisioned. Guess what? So do millions of other people. It’s life. But that doesn’t mean we go around ruining life for everything we touch.

    Rose if you’re reading this I suggest you come clean about your HIV status to Mike, Micah, and any other person you’ve deliberately tried to infect with HIV. Think of it as a way of redeeming yourself and finding back your happiness. Don’t do it for Mike or Micah, do it for you. It’s not as easy as it sounds but just do it. You’ll come off as the superior person in this mess you find yourself in. Your sense of right and wrong will be at peace knowing you did the right thing.

    We love you. I love you. We wish you a long happy life to see you child grow into a decent human being.

    20
  59. My sis-in-law works as a counsellor. She tells of married women who’ve been faithful waking up and finding themselves HIV positive, because their man wasn’t faithful, and carried HIV home. The stories are heart-wrenching, pitiful…its best to be honest and open in life, though in this story Mike hurt her a lot, two wrongs don’t make a right.

    6
  60. This so sad ….but i will not judge her coz i know heartbreaks and betrayals can push a person to doing unthinkable things. I just hope one day she will heal from her pain and tell Mike the truth. Coz only the truth and healing and forgiveness will rescue her from the prison of the loneliness and sad state she is in.

  61. He has a family, a wife he goes home to. What do I have? A moment, three hours with him? He sneaks around, having his cake and eating it, what do I have?”

    Sounds bitter…..

    4
  62. Fill your cup and let it overflow before pouring to others.
    Self love is very important,
    Manze this is crazy i am still trying to take in as much air as i can ,i am shivering as we speak.

    2
  63. As a person who has learnt about her partner’s extra relationship activities through Biko’s post, I feel for Mike, in fact I am angry at her (and I am in noway attacking her). She should have walked away from their situation the minute she received that call because she has ended up putting so many more people, especially innocent children at risk.

    2
  64. First of all, this post makes up for the fact that Biko did not post last week
    Secondly, holy Sh**!!
    Thirdly, i will not judge Rose. We all should not. Not before we have walked a mile in her shoes. (I hope no one has to)

    6
  65. But Thou hast told the troubled mind
    Who does her sins lament,
    The timely tribute of her tears
    Shall endless woe prevent.

    Then see the sorrow of my heart,
    Ere yet it be too late;

  66. A few things:
    1. Whatever the complexities going on here, it is anything but love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. And sometimes what started as true love takes a different turn.

    2. It is naive to think of Mike as the victim and Rose as the oppressor. This is a two-way game of deceit. Is it not too hard to imagine this is what happens when the hunter (Mike) becomes the hunted. It’s more like who hurt the other most.

    3. It’s a disturbing fact to fully accept many life mistakes are a result of errors of judgment. Sometimes to unexpected depths. From ignoring the red flag of the call at the Mara, I cringed to see how Rose jumped from one ill judgement to another. I now wonder to myself: Was is too hard to tell this would not end well?

    4. It is easy to accuse and torment Rose behind our keyboards and throw stones of how unfair she is. But only if our lives would be “awesome” if told by a third party. Sometimes it is easier to accuse others because their stories remind us of our inadequacies and we want to feel better about our not-so-bad selves. Think of all the extramarital relationships you know of as a person.

    5. Lastly and more importantly, Rose is not well. Not at all. She needs help. There are all signs of a disturbed mind. It may have made for a good read, but I wonder: Does she regret now reading this? How can she get help. And Mike too, and the wife, and the children

    It’s complex

    35
  67. I think, he knows. But he wont tell her, because he thinks he’s the one who infected her, and because he’s the one who began the web of lies.

    11
    1. That is what I think as well. My two cents: Mike is is the one who was/is infected and then he passed it on to Rose. That to me would explain why he kept coming back to her even after hurting her so badly. The guilt of infecting a woman who had fallen so deeply and so innocently in love with him, would not let him stay away even when it was very obvious (given his marriage and family) he should. And, Mike’s wife knows that Mike is HIV positive and she probably also is, and they take all the necessary steps to ensure that their children remain negative. Why else would she be so good to the woman who is sleeping with her husband? With the father of her children? It isn’t that she is being nice, it’s because she already knows that poor Rose doesn’t yet know what she is up against with Mike. The wife probably found out about Rose and the affair after it was too late for her to maybe have warned Rose of the fact that Mike is positive. It would also explain why she chose to marry Mike even after knowing about Rose, because, here she is, HIV positive and probably already pregnant. Who else is gonna marry her expect the devil she already knows? Mike is Patient Zero in this scenario. The rest of the people in the story, i.e. Rose, the wife, Micah, and all the men Rose might have slept with and infected, are just victims of his selfishness.

  68. Analysis from my side: Mike and the wife (As a couple) knew their status and were okay with it.
    >>Judging from how Mike’s wife was calm dealing with Rose, she clearly knew what will befall her if she doesn’t keep off her man.
    >>> The timely Mike visit at the hospital after the accident. Maybe or Maybe not He thought she will undergo tests that will disclose her status
    >>> When Mike’s wife followed rose to the Salon, she was expectant. All expectants mom undergo mandatory HIV test in hospital.

    31
    1. I Sort of Suspected this as well, they both could know. They wife didn’t express any emotion- at all.
      However, rose goes for annual tests occasionally as she says, how did she just contract it in the year, after they’ve been messing around with Mike for quite a while?

      5
  69. From wife’s conduct,me thinks the couple knew they were(or at least Mike) HIV positive way before Rose came into the picture.no woman will go ahead and marry someone she knows he is cheating/in another relationship

    2
  70. This is such a sad story…How long do HIV symptoms take before the cough,the headache and the rush? I feel like I should Chukua Selfie every three months.
    From the chronology…Rose was with Mike for about 1 year 2 months before he got married. She was given a bad hand in a deck of cards but assuming she was 26 then she would have left and never turned back and found love somewhere else. She was selfish, she wanted good sex and forbidden love. Today Rose is about 37 years old she is still selfish by not revealing her results.
    On the other hand, Mike was dishonest, if you play the game don’t play the heart…was he in it for the sex or for the love? In his late 30’s probably 37, he should have been honest at some point, apologised and let go. He is selfish…damaged the dreams of Rose. Today Mike is about 48 years old and still selfish as he never learned when the damage done was enough, he never stopped.
    Micah was probably the source of the virus…any time I meet a person who drinks a lot, I always ask what is he/she running from?
    The guy in the wheelchair. Pole sana
    End of rant!!!

    10
  71. This is sad, extremely. I would love to lay blame on Mike for starting it, but maybe he also has his side of the story. I hope Rose finds closure soon. I hope she heals completely and finds happiness away from Mike. I wish you all the best Rose, I might have done the same given the circumstances.

    1
  72. This world is not my home, I wish this was just a story…but since it’s not let’s take the lessons.
    For all involved in this chain, its not over until God says it is.

    5
  73. Hehehe, everybody is hating her (Rose) but I swear I feel nothing…there is a place life gets you n you become the only thing that matters…maybe it’s because I relate to half this story…but She is winning in her way…given the events that led her here I am fine with her…my only compassion is for the wife… I would tell the wife actually

  74. I have so much to say about this post.
    From what I can gather, she has lived with HIV for years. Let’s say around 3/4 years. She has no idea who infected her… It could have been Micah, or the guy who duped her that he had used protection or (drum roll please) …
    .Michael.
    With that in mind, Mike could have infected her and kept it to himself. It’s hard living for 4 years with HIV and not exhibit any symptoms within this whole period of time. Either him/ the wife would have gotten symptoms. Considering the wife confronted her about her pregnancy after the accident, it’s likely she would have been the first one to be diagnosed with HIV because of the antenatal profile.
    Second scenario, Rose and Mike are a discordant couple thus Mike is negative.
    My bet, he knows.

    9
  75. This should serve wives with a wake up call, refuse to be okay with him cheating, no matter how sweet you are. These love triangles breed the bitterness.

    8
  76. When a woman loved you, she can even crawl on your feet, but when you hurt her and she moves on, she becomes so heartless even in your burial she won’t she’d a tear

    6
  77. We don’t always get what we want out of life, situations change us, people change us only when we let them, but again one thing remains constant, we will always walk in the consequences of our choices, whether consciously or unconsciously.

    2
  78. Imagine being Mike. Going along with your usual routine, which includes Biko Tuesday.
    You are having a busy exhausting day. Decide to go online, maybe see who’s story made it.
    Maybe it will brighten your dull day. You open your incognito window because you still have bills to bay and
    voila; You are the story. Mike and Micah

    9
  79. The younger generation, with all of its tweets and Facebook and cryptic texts and emails where no actual language or grammar is involved, will never understand taking the time to compose such a story; to get the words just right, to take her story and make them into your words (though you can lie with words) as you have just accomplished is just marvelous.
    I’d like to see this on screenplay.

    6
  80. PLOT TWIST>>> Maybe Mike already knows he is HIV positive, maybe he has always known for years but he also chose not to tell her. i mean how many kids does he has he had with the wife since he got back together with her??? Ii hear a woman has to be tested when she is pregnant.. Anyway, reading this sent a chill down my spine.
    I think men need to know the repercussions of sleeping around out there unprotected and the kind of dangers they take back home to their wives and kids.

  81. So true… We don’t always get what we want. Plus some women have been messed up by guys in worse ways.
    I once watched a ted talk where a woman looked her rapist in the face and forgave him.

    Life will get worse for you Rose as long as you continue living in all this bitterness and vile .

    Forgive and start a new life , you are alive because you have a chance to do things right, who knows maybe you will meet a guy who will actually marry you in this journey.

    4
  82. Look at this.
    From Her, to Mike and Micah.
    From Mike to wife to maybe unborn child, to other of Mike’s hoes, coz mike cheats, then to sex mates of these hoes and to their sex mates on and on.
    From Micah, to wife, to unborn to hoes to hoes of hoes and an endless cycle…

    Sad wild world.

    2
  83. Damn!! I have tried hating Rose but I can’t. I don’t know how to…because it is the decisions they both made in the past that is leading them to their future now.
    Plus She’s in real ass pain and judging her is quite complicated and needs a little bit of inhumane. But not telling Mike gives her a free ticket to the other zoo of selfish people!!

  84. This is what happens when human beings are not content with what they have. They (Mike) want a piece of everything, meanwhile crushing other people’s spirits along the way. Rose didn’t deserve any of this but since she kept allowing the ‘devil’ back in her life it didn’t help. It’s sad that there’s a child involved. People should learn to stick to their values and when they say no, it should be no and not looking back. Pole Rose

    3
  85. *SIGH*……….big sigh
    This story, it has tugged at my heart.

    Dear beautiful lady, God’s creation.
    I pray that today you woke up with a smile despite everything around you and the cold weather.
    I know you feel your script has already been written, signed stamped sealed and thrown into the abyss of the unknown BUT can I tell you that God still knows your name? can I tell you that the hairs on your head are still numbered? can I tell you that he still knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb and knew this script? Now can I also assure you that he still LOVES YOU unconditionally even with your broken pieces? Can I tell you that He can put them back together stitch by stitch?

    You see the devil comes only to do three things, KILL, STEAL and DESTROY. No, he is not an ugly red guy with horns and a tail. He is that thing that you want most, that deep down you know is WRONG yet it feels SOOOO goood. Too good not to indulge….but deep down…again, its still WRONG. He played a good number on you with this rollercoaster. Stole your peace, killed your joy, destroyed your life.

    I promise you the only way your story will take a turn around is if you turn to the one person who defeated the devil, and thats Jesus. See I can give you many remedies, many ways to right the wrongs, to heal but they won’t help at all unless you ask God to take over your story, to write it afresh because only then will you have conviction to listen.
    I see you wearing a smile but carrying the weight of the world inside with a secret that eats you everyday.

    I leave you with just two verses,

    MATTHEW 11:28
    28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

    PSALM 34:18
    The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

    See, this Jesus that people ask what the fuss is all about, I encountered Him and I know He is able to write you a new story. The devil is a LIAR LIAR LIAR. He is also an ACCUSER. He keeps reminding you of wrongs so you can think you are too much and never turn to God. He has spoken so many lies about you that you have believed, but God says so many things that are TRUE about you.

    All love,
    Your sis in Christ.

    53
  86. This is selfish. I feel sad for everyone out there trying to be the Alpha male by sleeping around. See the consequences! Mike should have stayed with his wife after the wedding. How about the vows? We clearly do not fear God. But si ni life?

    2
  87. A few comments I need to make.

    First, WOW!

    Secondly, Rose didn’t tell us how the other woman found her number or traced her to the salon.

    Three, Rose has been a slave to her own subconscious. Probably why she does stuff she doesn’t seem to have deliberately set out to do.

    Difficult to judge her. It’s just life. Sadly, three innocent people are involved. Rose’s child. Mike’s child with his wife. And Mike’s wife!

    1
  88. Sometimes when we read other people’s stories it informs our outlook on life, because this could be us. But we can be choose to live different lives, even if the content is familiar. Please find yourself and your purpose before finding a partner. Be self aware or you’ll find yourself in other people, who are just that, people, weak like us. And please let’s not paint love to be what we necessarily feel but what we commit to build with another person. The same hands we have to build something beautiful are the same hands we can destroy every other thing with. Our knowledge is not absolute, we can never think that we’ve seen even the unseen that plays into our lives for us to truly think we have figured it out. That’s why we pray. Finally, what’s obvious can be hidden from us. We have couples that have made it, we have beautiful love stories. But we may be desensitized to it all because of what we choose to see. Believe and hope for more for your self and it’ll start to reveal itself around you.

    11
  89. To those of us who are parents, we need to raise our children in way that they can confide in us when faced with such situations in life. Let’s have a relationship with our children and be their go to person. No child deserves to go sleeping around with strangers just because some mongoloid broke his / her heart. It shall be well with you Rose

    8
  90. What did I just read?????

    There is nothing worse than the wrath of a woman scorned. This story, says it all.

    I however fail to understand how you can love someone so much and cause them so much harm. Do these two even love each other?

    As a matter of fact? What is love? Really, how many people have this so called unicorn called true love?

    Why do I and many others aspire to find true love and yet it is so hard and for some immpossible to find.

    Ah, I am tired……

    1
  91. There are possibly more than 60k guys who fit the description and habits of Mike.
    How can we help them?
    How can we get them to stop?
    How do we help the Roses of this world?

    3
  92. 1. Biko, you are an accessory to a crime…knowingly affecting someone with HIV is a crime.
    2. Rose, the same thing happened to me and two of my friends. Mine was through a call early in the morning from a guest at the wedding in which I was not the bride. One of my pals just like you found out on Facebook book. We all went through the whore phase, body transformation phase, hair transformation stage, piercings, tattoo, cosmetic surgery etc but WE MOVED ON. You chose not to. I get the evil streak in you that makes want punish him. I so get it. You have however chosen to be a criminal. It is NOT worth it. Theeeeen you knowingly bring a child into the mix. My advice, it is not too late to start a fresh. Confess to Mike, break up with him, take some time out, get your mental health in order (you have refused to stop living through your own expectation of marriage and family and that is unhealthy) then move on. Ran to Christ, there is healing and redemption in the blood of Jesus.
    3. Mike, by breaking hearts you have lived and heartbroken you shall die if you don’t repent. I pray that you know your status and have acted accordingly. Leave Rose alone. You are destroying her destiny and feeding the evil in her. Seek forgiveness from God, your wife, your children, Rose and live free.

    10
    1. Biko is NOT and will NEVER be an accessory to this particular crime. He is a features writer and if my old research days serve me right, he is bound by the confidentiality clause. And it is not his responsibility to disclose, judge, or admonish any one of these people. Rose, Mr. Physicality, Mikah and Mrs. Physicality need to take full responsibility of their actions. Biko is just minding his business, which is writing. Unless you want him to end up in court to answer charges to a defamation law suit. Which will kill his career.

      2
    2. Dear Glow….yawaa you can’t come to someone’s blog and read his wonderful penmanship then accuse him of a crime. Biko is a writer not a detective. How do you expect Biko to know who infected who…smh.. How entitled can you be? Omera, just read the story and laugh or cry as most of us did and perhaps go get tested… as you can see, you can never truly trust your spouse 100 percent.
      Everyone in this love triangle (or is it square) alifuata nyuki na akala asali. It’s as simple as that. and these are the consequences.

      3
    3. Sasa where is this coming from. Biko is not a judge. And he also is not a prosecutor. His work is to write. and as far as I am concerned, he has written this one so well. As it is, the only people who should take fully responsibility ofr this is the people involved in all this. Imagine Biko telling us the real identity of these people so the law catches them? Will you have a story to read tomorrow? Will anyone ever trust him. Please people can do this without hurting those involved.

  93. Mike knows the truth, he must have found out when expecting his 2nd child. Its the first test they conduct.And if he is quiet,he most likely infected her.

    4
  94. Wah!!! am lost of words. For me, I see a lady who found HIV while whoring but decided to bring it to the doorstep of the guy who made her whore in the first place. It is sort of a revenge for what he did to her. But she should have thought of Mike’s wife and children. Anyway, what do I know, OI could also be Mike to someone!! Machos!!

    2
  95. Biko you feel forgot one important question, how did she feel the while infecting to his guy with HIV, did she enjoy the sex? Did she feel even remotely remoseful for the wife and kids? A gilted woman is a dangerous woman!!

  96. One thing you didn’t mention. How Mike’s wife got her phone number when she first called her. Remember when you asked,she said she will get into it. I want to know,pretty much how you also want to know about Habbakkuk

  97. Biko you forgot to ask this lady one important question, how did she feel infecting this guy with HIV, did she enjoy the sex on the night of infection? Did she even feel remotely remoseful for the wife n kids? A gilted woman is a dangerous woman.

  98. Mike knows his status. He has a wife with kids. HIV test is mandatory for pregnant women. Girl, he already knows.. probably infected you and been wondering what to say. Who’s playing who? Mwathani!!!!

    2
  99. Ladies ladies ladies please put a little more value on yourselves. Being single is not a disease. All these problems would have been avoided if there were some boundaries

    4
  100. …..bringing me half bars of white chocolate or silly things like a half sucked lollipop or half eaten cake that he had saved for me from lunch because he knew I loved cake. He brought everything in halves. He said it’s because I was his most important half.”-na lie!!!! How could Rose not see that…such a sad read.

    I wish they both retracted their steps at this point…it wasn’t going to change the fact that he had betrayed her with a secret marriage. Rose was just so deeply in love…and this man, Mike took advantage of that. But where do people get all this strength to cheat like that??? anyway, choices have consequences.

    1
  101. I strongly believe that Mike and his wife were infected long before the girl came into the picture. Why is the wife too nice to her! Its coz she knew that Rose was throwing herself into boiling oil. Again, when Rose was admitted, of course the doctor disclosed her status to family including Mike. If he wasn’t the one who infected her, why did he pick off where they left!? Plus he even became sweeter to her. Rose girl, its not you in fact you’re a victim. However you messed up when you took the man knowing that he has a “girlfriend and child”.
    Eish! I’m no longer falling for the physicality. I hold my power dear to my heart. I don’t know how to advice you on the way forward but seek peace with God.
    Let me check out Habakkuk. There must be something worth noting about him

    7
  102. Wah!! Kumbe guys out here are living Telenovella lives!! From the kiss at the parking lot, the whirlwind romance, the phone call in the Mara, the Wedding, the Whoring period, the One night stands, accident, the Hospital visit, Whirlwind romance once again,the disease, the Kid. This story has so many interesting sub-stories; like the guy who broke both legs and is now in a wheelchair. Yet he was just out to get some action!!
    Rose please turn this into a book.
    Oh, and please tell Mike to get tested. You owe his kids that.

    2
    1. Could masculinity be same as Man of nyadhi?
      I feel like getting tested right now.
      maan!
      I feel bad for The wife
      I feel bad for Rose.
      And Mike,it could be karma for him,but there’s a lot of collateral damage in this.
      And well,you don’t chose how you get bad news,,even this blog could be a source of bad news for him.

      I hope the bad news comes early enough for him.

  103. The worst thing is to know your status and continue to infect someone else. Poor Mike’s innocent wife. wa. wa, it is so criminal to infect people knowingly. I know she was put up in this confusing web but making it more complicated doesn’t make it right especially when people’s lives are involved..partners, wives, children… Sounds like revenge, crazy revenge..I don’t know how to feel about this one…spoilt my day…

    2
  104. I like how everyone is like, bad Mike, bad Rose, poor Wife.
    The blame lies mostly on Mike, if he hadn’t lied and cheated, she wouldn’t have caught it elsewhere (maybe)…and he also stepped out on his WIFE and is still doing so.
    The blame is on Rose, for having no self-esteem to reel herself back in…when she free falls, she free falls.
    The blame is on the Wife…what manner of bullshit are you going to put up with, “Joleeening joleening”. He cheats, you leave (even with a child); you leave, not have second babies…This is what staying with a cheating spouse does to you- gives you HIV.

    She should tell him, because men with “physicality” have a wife, a mistress, a girlfriend and a fuck buddy. Meaning they are just spreading the Virus.

    3
  105. I thought of it and am not sure what it says about me that I don’t feel wrong, but I concur with what rose has done to Mike. What happens to Mikes wife and their kids id Mikes fault.

  106. This is sad. Rose needs help, she is hurt and the depth of her hurt is too deep.
    I feel sorry for Mike’s wife and kids, sad reality is so many married women are in that situation

  107. This mike guy knew from the beginning he was sick and he infected this poor lady and she’s out here overthinking and beating herself

  108. Never been the one to comment but since my name has been mentioned and tainted ……………… We all are our own best enemies and especially when it comes to the matters of the heart….. I have this theory this days that “Our brains are designed to keep us alive, not to keep us happy” so every time I make a decision I ask my self I doing this for self preservation am I doing this to be happy……. enough theories .. there are a lot of great Micah`s and Mikes out there…. give them a chance..

    8
  109. Because of his physicality. It is hard to leave a guy like that. They make your world spin around them. Explains why the wife was calm and dint want to fight him.

    1
  110. The things going on in our day to day life!!..you could be Mike or Micah….Quite often we only protect the first few times before our hearts tell us we can trust a person minus testing!

    1
  111. Christ jesus……this is what love grows people into…..amd it all startes with Phone call at mara louge into an HIV person…..whats love anyway

  112. We see young single women in good paying jobs, well dressed, owning apartments, a cool car and an acted confidence and think they’re doing good and having it all together. But their self esteem is just as battered as a stray dog, unstable emotional and mental state. That leads one to lower their social stds and think it’s okay. Hanging on a man who doesn’t even deserve you is one sign.

    On the other hand when a married woman is okay with infidelity of the husband, with statements like ‘as long as he is coming back to me’…and that’s how he comes back carrying HIV. Too sad to comprehend

    9
    1. Couldnt have been said better, married women need to know they are always the most susceptible and thus need to constantly keep praying for their men. The world we live in is so cruel and focused on revenge situations, no one should be satisfied with the fact that their man always comes home, they could carry on affairs during office hours and still be religiously home for dinner and weekends…

      1
    2. Spot on Wiwi. This girl is doing well financially. She has a nice apartment, drives a German machine and even buys ninjas drinks.
      But then emotionally she’s a wreck. It makes me wonder whether woman must be with man to feel complete. I sincerely thought girls can be just fine without husbands but now IDK anymore.
      Biko bring us stories on single, or should I say unmarried, women who are emotionally stable.

      3
  113. ”waah!!love and hate is a powerful emotion.i however think that she is very negative about life,Having a baby is awesome.i also know countless hiv positive people who got married in their fourtys.today with the virus you can almost live a normal life,A person who breaks your heart is not a good reason to change your character.

    3
  114. I don’t think he should, I understand the conflict, on one end you protect many people from getting infected if you do, you’re brand also gets ruined not many people would confide to you.

    I think the story is a great reminder of the importance of safe sex.

    1
  115. Uuuuh! The Choices we make… If only some situations can be reversed. Mike and Rose should sit down and have a serious talk, for the good of both of them, and Rose needs help.

  116. First! How you go out innocently only to end up on a wheelchair. Second! The nerve Mike has to come back to her life, at the hospital. Third!! Damn! I hope Rose lives her life in a way that fulfills her, it is the very least she can do, for herself.

    Lastly, I was waiting for a dramatic comeback when she took the cups to the kitchen.

    1
  117. Looks like every adult involved is bearing the consequences of their actions…
    Mike for being a selfish man with no honour.
    Rose for how she chose to “deal” with her broken heart.
    Even poor Mike’s wife for marrying him when she knew exactly what type of man he was.
    Nevertheless, life will continue. The truth will come out and they will all find a way to cope with their new normal.

    1
  118. I am not sure what Mike’s wife feels as she approached her but I agree with the greater world population, a woman’s mind is nothing short of a maze.

    1
  119. It could have been Mike who infected Rose which we will never get to know , what I really think is if you feel that a situation is attracting signs that are leading you to self destruction please seek professional help,see a therapist you can talk to and it could save you from a lot,Please don’t let the power of self destruction over power you,life has a way of never been constantly whole or complete, there’s always going to be a piece that makes you feel” if I had it, I would be complete” which is never the case.

    1
  120. I was loughing through it all until we got to the last bit. Oh! My Goodness……it creeps me so much that i trust humans. I am just full of chills right now.

  121. Weeeeeeeeh,!!!!!!!Hard.!!!!!!
    what happened to moving on…away from toxic people and situations.
    you want what your parents had yet you settle for mediocre sh***.
    This is so sad.
    Haki i have cried…
    for some weird reason i think i should visit a VCT now…..just to be sure am good.

    3
  122. What if Mike is the one who infected her and is also quiet, taking his medication quietly, eating and living right. So while dating her he promised her marriage but married someone else, probably infected her with HIV. Anywho Rose and Mike you owe each other the truth. Could all Mikes please go get tested.

    3
  123. I’m glad Biko started this post by saying that the lady would talk about choices.
    This is a story of two selfish people (aren’t we all), who made poor choices, and keep making poor choices, and are dragging innocent people along. May the Lord forgive them, and may His redeeming grace find them, because his grace is greater than all our sins.
    As for me, my prayer is that I learn to make better choices.

    3
  124. Men all over this town are cheating. Left right and center. I cannot point any friend of mine who is married or unmarried that is not having relationship issues. So Mike is just your average brother, colleague, friend, neighbour, while Rose & Mrs Mike are your average faithful girlfriend/ wife. Women need to rise against this menace. But from what i have seen, only older ladies have the guts to do so. Unfortunately, the younger generation of 90s-2000”s born who are too lazy to work for their hairdos and shoes are always chasing after these same men who are always seeking validation of their “physicality”.

    12
  125. What did i just read? 🙁 ;( I have a million unanswered questions in my mind right now. Who is to blame? The guy for cheating? Rose for staying with him even after everything he put her through or the first wife for staying though she knew he was with the other woman in Mara? Why do women stay in bad relationships/marriages in the name of ‘all men lie’? Who said women in their 30’s can’t find true love and respect? Revenge is never a solution! She is actually hurting more each day she keeps this to herself in the thought of punishing Mike. Only God can heal her heart, body and soul.

    1
  126. May God bless them and give them peace to accept their fate and for Micah to stop being a small boy and start living within his means

    1
  127. Mike’s wife was definitely cheating. She got it first. She warned Rose to keep off but rose didn’t listen. So 4 months after the warning. Ole wake!!! This is a good article.

  128. As if I don’t have enough to worry about as a woman who’s husband is cheating. Now this. It never occured to me that the OW might be unfaithful to him. Yes, dumb, dumb, dumb.

    1
    1. Somethings are better left unsaid…..they find out when they find out.
      Then again how is it love when its foundation is weakly supported by lies and fear for the future?
      Selfish ones always attract their kind so let the guilt and fear slide away. A day at a time.

  129. I had to stay in the office after closing hours to complete reading this. I feel sad for both of them, the careless mistakes that we make come and cost us big in future. In this game called life, I will move very diligently and slowly. people out here ain’t loyal.

    3
  130. This is so depressing, now Mike, the wife and Micah the are probably HIV Positive too..That is such a vicious cycle.. True happiness is knowing who created you that is the Almighty God and only Him can break that bondage. Let Him take control for the sake of your child and Mike’s children.

    3
  131. WOW! Just WOW! I am breathless. This is a very intriguing story. The world out here is weird man. Just weird.
    To the woman featured in this story, receive warm hugs, hope you can untangle yourself from this Mike guy and be available to date a guy who can be your companion! Yes you can find one, there are people living with worse things than HIV and they found their companions!!

    1
  132. I ain’t sorry for Mike, he made his bed, so let him lay in it. They say children pay for the sins of the father, it’s unfortunate, but Mike should have thought of that too.
    As for his wife, she shouldn’t have stayed. Self love is import.

    1
  133. Is it interesting that the main theme of the book of Habakkuk is to grow faith from a point of perplexity and doubt to having absolute trust in God.
    Maybe I should stop wondering about so many unanswered questions and think that it is not a mere a coincidence that Biko left thinking about Habakkuk.

    6
  134. 2 scenarios. Either mike and wife knew they had HIV coz she was waaaay too calm you know and just let it happen OR habakkuk ndio alileta ugonjwa. Coz if she had it during whoring days si the docs would have told her after the accident?! And then Mike should’ve just minded his own business after the accident.

    Also get tested asap. Lol. People out here clowning each other.

    1
  135. I will also have to read about Habakkuk, ohh this world.
    Am not him (Micah) though.
    May be she get the courage to tell Mike. I was thinking what if Mike is HIV -ve?

  136. This is completely sheer madness!! How did people get so fucked up cause of Love? Am speechless and confused as to whom I should point my anger at but there is only one person who will be at an utter loss..Mike’s wife.

  137. Pregnant women get tested so if the wife was HIV+then she is aware and so is Mike…and I thought that intentionally infecting someone with HIV is punishable by law…but anyway, Mike made his bed, and he is lying on it….

  138. Why is everyone jumping to conclusion that it was the other guys who infected her,could have as well been Mike .I have a feeling he knows he is positive.

    1
  139. Waaahh!! Okay how do you even start to comprehend this?? Isn’t the guilt killing her?? What if she intentionally infected him and his wife by extension??!! This is heartbreaking

  140. This guy messed this chic kabisaaa.I dont feel for him.Men sleep around fine but dont sell hope of marriage when you have no such intentions.

    5
    1. Seriously? That’s what you got from this story? Someone shapes the script of their story goes out first in order to appear all good and you fall for it? She is a diva queen, a cold eyed whore (she said so) and now for the last many years deliberately infecting ppl with HIV and you feel dmpathy for her??? The comments on this post, people are so cowards in calling a spade a spade!!! Aargh! You guys afraid of Biko or what?

  141. Everyday I go to work. I diagnose at least 7people with HIV. As early as 16 years. But this story just broke my heart. I can’t describe my feeling. I thought my work prepared me to this kind of news. BUT NO! WTF!!

    3
  142. Sad story really but for ‪Habakkuk, it’s one really interesting book to read especially chapter 2 on writing down visions to existence. The major theme of It is trying to grow from a faith of perplexity and doubt to the height of absolute trust in God. ‬Remind us Lord of your mercies in times that we do not walk with you

    6
  143. Maybe Mike is the one who infected her. How do we know? If he kept a whole baby mama and then wedding a secret, what of HIV status?

    2
  144. A friend told me am cold hearted, if the thought enters my mind that there might be another, boy am out the door. Trust is broken and I look for strength to walk away. It is not easy so I feel for Rose. God knows where I would have been if he did not cover me when I took long to make that decision. I hope they all find healing and peace.

    1
  145. bringing me half bars of white chocolate or silly things like a half sucked lollipop or half eaten cake that he had saved for me from lunch because he knew I loved cake. He brought everything in halves. He said it’s because I was his most important half.”

    This will cost you half of your life buddy.

    There realky are no guarantees in humans.

  146. Biko U r heavensent, u pour out peoples lifestories better than they would have done it.
    Thank you, may God bless you and give u life, full of more writings
    My regards to the entire exemplary team.
    Psymoh

    2
  147. I wouldn’t be quick to judge Rose because what if Mike is the one who infected her? He’s not much of a saint, so we learn from the story. He was cheating on his then girlfriend with Rose, I want to think he didn’t stop after the wedding… he might have stopped seeing Rose but we don’t know if in that year he was MIA he was with another or other women apart from his wife. What if Mike infected her? What if he’s the one who kept it a secret first? What if? I would love to hear it from Mike.

    2
  148. I can feel a burning sensation inside me to pay a visit to a VCT lab. I’m not Micah. Neither am i Mike nor Habbakuk. I don’t have a “Rose” but yes, this story is one hell of a freak. Shit happens!

  149. I know this story is sad and all… but I just can’t get over ”let them stay there with their physicality. Use it as a staff to part open traffic.”

    sigh!…I should stop watching Moses and the Ten commandments

    4
  150. Habakkuk 1:3 Why do you force me to look at evil, stare trouble in the face day after day?
    “Habakkuk asked God the kind of question that so many of us have pondered. We have all seen the evidence of evil in our lives. We’ve all been touched by it. And we bear scars at various stages of healing. Surrounded by evil as if we are trapped in a dark prison cell of our own making, we are often downtrodden by our poor choices and our fallen world. However, the book of Habakkuk reminds us that no place is too dark and no wall too thick for God’s grace to penetrate in a powerful and life-affirming way.”
    Habakkuk 2:2 And the LORD answered me:”Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. 3 For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end–it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. 4 “Behold, his soul is proud; it is not upright within him, but the righteous shall live by his faith. 5 “Moreover, wine is a traitor, an arrogant man who is never at rest. His greed is as wide as Sheol; like death he has never enough. He gathers for himself all nations and collects as his own all peoples.”
    “This offers us a picture of a prideful people being humbled, while the righteous live by faith in God. It reminds us that while God may seem silent and un-involved in our world, He always has a plan to deal with evil and always works out justice . . . eventually. The example of the prophet Habakkuk encourages believers to wait on the Lord, expecting that He will indeed work out all things for our good”
    Selah

    7
  151. Yaani I am so scared, I can be Mike or Micah and you might be Rose…or maybe I am Habakkuk! The article is as scary as it can get. It has sent chills down my spine. Appetite lost!

  152. Mike! Wueh you guy you need to pray. This is where the ‘men are trash’ battalion comes in. Mike has ran through her like wind through a door. Ladies trust this, there is absolutely no pride in being married by the likes of kina Mike. Let me ride solo please. I feel so sorry for both of those women yani. Biko my tea tasted like garbage BTW.

    1
  153. Who said Rose is the one who brought the virus in this Roulette?Maybe Mike and the wife after realizing they had the virus went to ‘Dubai’ and since Rose was already in the picture…..then let it be

  154. One thing comes to mind, “nothing dangerous like dealing with someone with nothing to loose” whoever as angry as I am to both of them, chances are Mike might not be infected “dicondant” and might be Micah’s game to loose from his freaky ways or not.
    From her one year adventures she might have contracted the thing from one of the one nighters and this would still put both Mike and micah at her mercies and God for all..
    Whatever her anger is, it’s totally wrong to not let a partner know since she will be saving them the misery of having to wait till it’s too late. Low CD4

  155. Why are people here so naive. Why’s everyone on ‘oh I pity Mike, oh his kids, oh the wife…’ nonsense! Who took Mike to Rose? Did she ever know where that guy disappeared to? Most importantly, who said Mike was safe? He could have been the ‘infector’. You can’t eat your cake and still have it.
    If he cared about his family, he wouldn’t be cheating.
    WE MISSED YOU BIKO. BINGO!

  156. Betrayal is painful; so painful that once can self destruct! Sleep around, drink and drive……..HIV is not even the worst thing you can pick up on such escapades! A very sad tale. Eerie almost.

    1
  157. Those who are saying, “I am not Mike”, the only way to rule yourselves out is to get tested ASAP! And if you turn negative, change your ways! To the real Mike I hope you read this soonest, I hope you find yourself negative, I can only emphasize with your wife and kids.

  158. Okay, I have to ask and please Biko respond to this.
    I don’t understand this old smile!?
    So how really is an old smile different from other smiles. I’ve been looking at people the whole day as they smile trying to figure out kama that’s how it looks like.

    Maybe a diagram or sketch would help here.

    Asante.

    1
  159. Dumbfounded. Literally.
    I can’t even deal. Classical tale of life in its every day. Human beings are such emotional beings..to think all this was because of one feeling or another. Love. Hurt. Betrayal. Need. Affection…I mean…
    Dear heart please do not involve yourself in matters meant for the mind.