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This Gadget Isn’t a Hot Stone

by Hanafi Kaka | Resident Techie

This is not a space ship, relax. It won’t take you to a galaxy far far away (Star Wars fans can I hear a roar!). There are no aliens coming to abduct and probe you. You’re safe here. This sexy, flat ol’ thing is actually the Samsung Wireless Charging Pad.

A short light-skinned chica with lips like Rihanna’s introduced me to it somewhere in town. She kept talking on and on about how awesome this little space ship was. Speaking in all this confusing geeky lingo like she hangs out with Tim Cook. She kept mentioning stuff to do with amperes and voltages, hertz, all the wires and starved, squalid Korean children trapped inside that little disc – shovelling hot coal into a furnace so that our phones can last us one more hour in traffic.

You should have seen my dead face staring at her with my mouth open. She was on to so many numbers except the one that really mattered – the price of that damned thing, which is about 5G’s.

I was lost watching her red Rihanna lips move about, forming words I can’t recall, thinking of flying monkeys and cowardly lions.

You see, I’m not one of those guys who can easily do four-figure calculations in their heads with cassava crisps crunching loudly between their teeth. Sometimes I think I’m dumb. I can’t think in terms of sijui…feet, meters and kilometres and all that. I get headaches. Seriously, migraines. I can’t memorise numbers longer than four digits.

But I’m twenty-three years old now, I can no longer say that my birth year is IPPZ. I might never get laid. So it can be a little bit of a struggle. Because I think in words, pictures and feelings. If you have to tell me how far a place is, don’t tell me in kilometres, tell me in terms of time. Say, it’s a five minutes-walk from the office to Yaya Centre. Tell me how many shoes I have to line one after another until I get to the stage, not how many meters. It hurts. Buildings to me are not sijui fifty feet high, I think in terms of storeys. If somebody fell from a balcony, you had better not tell me it was I don’t know, twenty feet high. He fell seven storeys down…so he’s either dead or definitely very dead.

And there was this lady at the Samsung store hammering numbers and units into my head. Ati that thing is actually called EP-PG920IBUGUS, it comes with a 2A Travel Adapter and a User Manual.

All she had to say was that it’s the kind of thing you carry around if you hate power banks and wires like me. It’s flat as a terrible cocktail, and it comes in the sexiest black ever. It charges fast and drains slowly. So you just charge it full and take it with you everywhere (if you feel like it). Place it on a table, on your head, whichever works. And all you have to do is place your phone on it. That’s it. You can go about your business now. Check on it later.

Sounds awesome, right? Wait till you hear that it probably won’t work with your Huawei YY511 or something. Because it’s only compatible with Qi-enabled smartphones – that is smartphones that can charge wirelessly. Which are many as 12 models in the world:

  • Samsung Galaxy S5
  • Samsung Galaxy S6
  • Samsung Galaxy S6 Edge
  • Samsung Galaxy Note 4
  • Google Nexus 4-7
  • Motorola Droid Maxx
  • Nokia Lumia 920
  • Nokia Lumia 928
  • Nokia Lumia 929
  • Nokia Lumia 930
  • Nokia Lumia 1020
  • Nokia Lumia 1520

Some of these, like Galaxy S4, Galaxy S5, Galaxy Note 3, Galaxy Note 4, Galaxy Note edge, require Wireless Charging Battery Covers, which are sold separately.

So if yours isn’t on this list, you could always charge your phone wirelessly by placing on a hot pan. Si it’s just heat we are looking for here, ama?

50 Responses
  • Elvis Jonyo

    Nice article.. Please do more gadget reviews

  • Miss Kariuki

    Really Hanafi, really, hot pan it is? Isorait.

  • bertha

    Checked the list. Oh no I’m not among the number going to wireless heaven.

  • keenjoz

    Hehe…funny,awesome read and freaking awesome…
    Yeah ,I know am repeating myself. Happens when am overjoyed (not that you care).
    Keep it up Hanafi. It’s a must have

  • eliani

    It’s a big sorry for my tecno c8! let me leave this gadget for others hahahaha!

  • Noel

    Haahaa…hotpan category, right here

  • Gakii

    “..I can’t think in terms of sijui…feet, meters and kilometres and all that. I get headaches.
    Seriously, migraines….Because I think in words, pictures and feelings…”
    Well hello there fellow teammate! We’re sailing in the same boat it seems. I nearly get into a panic mode after numbers are thrown at me.

    PS: You’d totally get laid though 😛

  • Faith

    hahaha! Good read Hanafi. But hot pan really? Anyways heat it is that we are looking for

  • abdullah omar

    hanafi they taught you well .i can relate to your confusion with heights and distance so i think keep these gadgets as far away from me as st peter would be from hell

  • Adewa

    I thought i was the only one who panics when it comes to doing impromptu maths in my head. Don’t even get me started on divisions, kwanza starting with carry 1.
    I enjoyed my read.thank you.

  • Everlyn

    Can relate, that feet, meters and kilometres thing doesn’t work for me.

  • Earnest Hassan

    Now you have given me a good excuse for why i failed in math (math without an “s”)

  • Marleen

    For me i can deal with number butstart describing
    electronics sijui processor and those funny things…… im clueless

  • Boniface Ong'era

    I agree with you Hanafi.what I just need is heat…ama?

  • Sonia

    Lol. I scrolled all the way down and I didn’t see my make and model *whistles while walking away hands in pocket*

    • Mutiga

      Sonia. can I join you in whistling and walking away?

  • Felix

    I’ve never even seen these listed gadgets here that can work with tha device. The “smartest” phone i ever bought was a Nokia Asha 206 which costs me 5k and got lost a week later….i felt so bad. Now i own a Nokia 112(love it coz it takes me to daily) so, this device is not for me.

  • byron timothy ouma

    cool stuff bro hanafi kaka funny

  • Miss bush

    Really kaka. Ok mine is not in the list a hot pan comes in handy

  • King Muindi

    Ati -It’s flat as a terrible cocktail- *laughs hysterically* Well, the struggle is real, my fogothare Intel (Flintstones’ make) has seen better days. I guess I should consider the list as my next phone ‘menu”. I like the great command of humour throughout the article. Great job.

  • Muthoni

    Lol ati some guy fell from a balcony twenty feet high!!Am with you there,what is that?? I just want to know the how many floors,then I can decide how horrified I should be!!nice article!

  • anna

    My phone aint even in that list.
    Hot pan for wi work for me.

  • regina

    many a times i have considered using the hot pan…especially in this day of pre-pay electricity and impromptu blackouts….thanks hanafi, now i really am going to try it…weird how i thought it’d spoil my phone… seriously :/

  • Alvin

    Great read! That gadget is a great companion.

  • Alvin

    Great read! Kudos Hanafi, that gadget is a great companion.

  • lessiano lesswanyika

    numbers are not my thing too but if its kshs isorait. good piece bt walalahoi hatuko kwa list.

  • Wanjuhi

    I am sad my Samsung Galaxy Prime isnt here!! How now??

  • Kenn

    Nice read. You have a way with words to explain gadgets to layman techies and guys who normally have a concentration span of not more than 3 sentences.

  • Patricia

    Please add some picture of the device in question… we are inherently visual creatures and as such.. I have to get me that optical nutrition if I’m to buy into this awesomeness

  • Evelyn

    Izoraait! lemmie get the pan 😉

  • Risper

    Veeery interesting read.

  • Leah

    hahahaha hot pan category here.
    Hanafi great as always

  • Abigail

    Nice read. Me as soon as I read 5gs for the pan the only reason I kept reading was for entertainment. #Njaanuary

  • carol green

    Oooooh you would totally get laid!
    Fantastic read! 23? Ouch!

  • Marina

    Enyewe we only need the heat, source of that heat is upon you….nice read Hanafi.

  • AvaNzilani

    ” I can’t think in terms of sijui…feet, meters and kilometres and all that. I get headaches.”
    I’m right there with you Hanafi.

  • AvaNzilani

    ” I can’t think in terms of sijui…feet, meters and kilometres and all that. I get headaches.”
    I’m right there with you Hanafi.
    *goes to look for a hot pan.

    • Eunice

      Hehehehe, me too Ava, me too!

  • Becks

    Entertaining read as usual Kaka.

  • kate

    Looks a bit bulky.can it fit in your pocket? Nway what do I phone dsnt have the wireless charging ability.moving on…

  • rukwaro

    the tecno world ooh… good read; Kaka

  • Ginah

    similar thinking Rukwaro..about the Tecno Battalion … Hanafi Kaka consider them jamani

  • Muteti

    Your review is factually wrong. The pad does not have an internal battery to store charge so it won’t work unless it’s plugged in. It’s really just a fancy charger. Here’s how it works.You connect the charging pad to the mains and place your phone on top of the pad. Your phone gets juice

  • Don

    but this samsung guys!!! mine wont start up and i bought it less than three months ago and they refused to fix it for me

  • LPFJ3

    By referencing The Wizard of Oz in a tech post, you have sufficiently increased my will to live on this planet.

  • Roxie

    Goodness my poor ribso’ I finally found my,it’s-maths time-panic soulmates …bt seriously am even scared of binary and its only (1,0)

  • Betty

    Hahahaha.Nice read.

  • Samuel Oloo

    I surely need hot pant for my Kabambe. My bad. Hot pan. Pun intended.

  • Rhenadhis

    Hanafi i feeel you on the feet, meters and kilometers stuff. Here’s another i don’t get….fractions…..eti sijui use a third cup of strawberry to two thirds of flour….eti i paid a fifth of the amount ……#Worrathose? smh!

  • Elick Kanda

    Mmmmmm just felt lost but was nice trying to make fun trying to make us understand all this wonders and tech inventions

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