There is a pair of trousers that my fundi has been fixing for me. They have been ready for two months now. He keeps calling me and texting me to go pick them up and I keep saying, “Next week,” or ‘I’m not around,” or, ‘I will send someone,” but I never do. It’s not like he’s in Naivasha or anything; he’s fifteen minutes drive away. I could walk there if I had the right shoes on. I could. But I don’t. I just keep putting it off and lying to him that I will pass by the following week but I don’t. Sometimes I convince myself that he deserves it, come on, he’s a tailor, they lie to people all the time so perhaps this is the universe teaching him his lesson, I reason.
I have also been planning to go to Diamond Plaza to fix my phone screen protector for three weeks now. It has a small crack at the edge and cracks irritate me. I feel like they can cause an infection. Harbouring Covid. I have been meaning to fix that but here we are.
I procrastinate. I put things off. It’s a condition, I’m sure. I wait for deadlines to come right up to my grill before I start tackling them. Not that I’m any busier than the next guy, but in my head I am; dreaming shit up.
So anyway, there is a Visa job that I need your help with because come on, when was the last time I came here asking for help? No, really. I rarely do. And the client isn’t very happy and now the deadline is here and they need to read something.
The brief was this.
The job is called Tap-To-Pay. Because of these Covid times, they introduced this contactless payment method where when you pay using your Visa card no one has to touch your ATM card because you never know what people use their hands for, yes, but also because of Covid. So, say you go to Shell, you fuel and then you just tap your card on their machine and the amount is transferred to the machine. You don’t have to hold their PDQ and punch in your PIN because that PDQ can be filthy a.f. Some banks also have this service on their ATMs.
That’s the job.
I need an angle…like now.
If you were a writer, what would you write about? Actually, you don’t even need to be a writer, you just need to be willing to help me with this one. There are no wrong answers.
What would you write about? What should I write about?