45 at 45

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Sometimes when we pray as men, we forget to thank God that nobody has to stick their finger up our rectums anymore to look for cancer. Unless you want them to, that is. Unless it’s your thing, which would be totally okay too. Whatever floats your rectum.  But now with great medical advancement, you don’t need to endure an awkward conversation before lowering your pants before another man. You don’t ever need to be put in a situation where you unwillingly have to ask another man the embarrassing question; will it hurt? Will I be sore after? Can I see your finger first? None of that, thank the Lord! Unless of course, like I mentioned, it’s your thing.

Now it’s a tiny prick on your finger and a drop of blood for what’s known as a PSA Test. PSA is an acronym for Prostate Specific Antigen. The results come faster than changing a diaper. I’ve done three of these tests since I turned 40 because I don’t want prostate cancer sneaking up on me. Because cancer is nuts. 

Last week Nairobi Hospital had a free medical screening camp on Customer Care Week. The message said they’d do blood sugar, blood pressure, BMI and PSA. I was more interested in the PSA so I went. 

A tent in the parking lot. A very cold morning that would later turn balmy enough to shake off our jackets. There were a number of women but the place was also full of a good number of much older gentlemen. Older men in hats. Older men in proper old men’s shoes. Older men who thumped messages ever so carefully on their smartphones. Older men with thick folds of skin at the back of their necks. Older men under masks, peering at a world that’s changed so fast but also remained the same. They sat silently, holding their forms, waiting for their number to be called. There weren’t too many middle-aged men because they were busy in offices making money to cover medical bills when they fall sick one day. Youth is a massive mirage. 

I got a number and sat outside the tent next to a man who could have been in his mid 60s. I bet he had working kids who had added him to a WhatsApp group, where he shared forwards of videos they had watched before. Maybe he was retired and wasn’t sure what to do with himself or his time. Maybe he was a widower, or on his third marriage, or he had a land case in court. Who knows the history of age? When his phone rang, he stared at the screen for so long before answering. A nurse went around giving out sweets, I don’t know why.  It suddenly struck me that we regress as humans and old people are suddenly like children who might need sweets. 

The older man pulled his mask down and sucked his sweet forlornly, as if listening to its taste. I thought to myself; one day I will be this man’s age. I will be worried about my advanced age, worried about my health. The back of my hands will eventually resemble his; a tortoises neck. My knees might be rubbish, my eyesight worse than ever. I will wake up thrice in the night to pee because my prostate will be the size of a green apple. Maybe I will even struggle with erections. [Dear, Father]. Or sleep. Or a myriad of other things that we take for granted in youth. 

But for now, I’m still in mint condition, celebrating my [happy] 45th tomorrow. And here are some 45 quick observations I’ve made about life.

1.

My thirties were an irony. It’s the period I experienced the greatest growth as a writer but at the same time it’s the season I was greatly troubled. I was troubled because I was struggling to fit into a mould, struggling with trying to embrace who I wanted to be but being pulled by what society expected me to be. I was fearful to embrace who I wanted to be. But then one day you wake up and say, screw this; I’m going to be selfish, I’m going to put myself before everybody and everything else. And it’s difficult because choosing yourself comes with a sense of guilt. But then you break through the clouds and everything you imagined, all the wrong things you imagined would befall you as result of your decision, aren’t as bad as they seemed in your head, in fact most don’t even happen. 

2.

I do tons of interviews and I’ve learnt that you will never truly know someone until they tell you about their childhood. Our nurturing explains most of the things we do as adults. It explains the size of beds we sleep in. It explains our relationship with money. It explains how we treat others. Sometimes when someone does something very nasty on the road, I have learnt not to let it get my dander up. I just always say, Oh well, they must have been raised by ducks. I struggle to tell people I miss them. I struggle to express my love verbally. It makes me feel vulnerable and unmoored and exposed. Outpouring expressions of verbal emotions embarrasses me. I know where it comes from; growing up we never told each other those words. I’m only learning them now.

3.

If you see a sign written ‘Do Not Walk on Grass’ please keep off the damn grass. Planting and growing grass to the point where it’s green and carpet-y isn’t easy. It’s painstakingly arduous. It took so long for my grass in the village to grow to a point where it looks like good grass. It took two landscapers, two heartbreaks, very many wrong decisions, a sack of money until I finally met Duncan Wangombe. He’s the grass whisperer. “Grass can grow anywhere,” he told me almost metaphorically. He travels the breadth of this country, planting grass and flowers and building ponds and artificial waterfalls. This is a special mention to him. If you and your grass are having issues, call Duncan, to mediate that relationship.  Email: [email protected] or 0726810517

4.

The soundtrack of my 44th has been, Waves by Robin Schulz Remix Radio Edit. 

5.

We imagine that people spend a lot of time thinking about our lives and our choices. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about you and your life. People are busy thinking about their own lives. 

6.

What am I afraid of? Poor health for my children and myself. Being sick for two or three years, wasting away down to my bones, people coming to my hospital bed with empty words of encouragement, bringing me Ribena and fruit baskets. Folk eating your hospital food. Then one rainy Saturday night, with a drip hanging over me, I die with my mouth open, my lonely death officiated by a nurse called Dorah. I’m afraid of an ending like that. 

I’m also afraid of poverty. Of carrying an alms bowl to people; sitting outside their office waiting for them to tell me no, they can’t spare some money. The indignity of that level of poverty can be like a stain in my soul. 

Lastly, I fear not making any mark at all in the world. I came and I left and the world was never any better for it. What’s the point? What would be the difference between me and a plantain? 

7.

When I want to write some really sad sentences I first listen to Oliver Mtukudzi. 

8.

Twelve years ago my editor sent me to Pinklakeman Ecolodge at the shores of Lake Elementaita to write a travel story. It felt denser then, the acacia trees rising higher and higher, the lake closer and wider. There were birds and wild animals. You lived in a small handsome log cabin. I fell in love with wood immediately. That’s how I met Francis Macharia. He lived wild, in a log cabin, his dogs trailing behind him, building unconventional things. At night, in pitch darkness – because the nights at Elementaita can get pretty dark – he drove guests to the hot springs where they skinny dipped, the only light coming from the glare of his headlights. Later, he told stories by a bonfire until late. I have since been to the lodge over 15 times. 

He sold the lodge, moved to higher ground by a gorge where he built a treehouse using his own hands, using recycled materials, using his imagination. I admired him, how he lived simply but intentionally. He has influenced a lot on how I live my life now and how I intend to live it in the future. 

Yesterday, as he saw me off after a brief visit, we were discussing that main picture and others I took of his place, he said, “wouldn’t it be funny if it turned out that maybe you were not really a writer in the first place but something in the visual arts?”

He says things like that; lightly but provocatively. He’s unaware of it, how he challenges you to get off the beaten path, off what you know. 

I have thought about what he said before. I think we shouldn’t be just one thing in this lifetime, not to limit ourselves to just what we know. You can be a doctor who also rears pigs. A coder who brews beer. A chef by day and a drummer in a band by night. You can make music and also deliver babies. You can be a pilot and a carpenter like Captain Kamanja, who I met recently. A banker who restores old cars. A lawyer who rescues stray dogs. Life is long enough to be many things because there is what you do and who you are. 

9.

My greatest flaws as a human; gross impatience, my inability to forgive those who break my trust and quickness to anger. I’m working on them and struggling while at it. 

10.

In Nairobi your friends will buy you a bottle of whisky but will not contribute when you are dying in hospital. If you feel some type of way about that then you are the problem. Manage your expectations of your friends because 75% of friendships sit on quick sand. [I just pulled those stats from my fanny]

11.

Plants will die, but I refuse to be those people who speak to plants. Because once you do that there is no line you won’t cross. No boundaries you won’t scale over. I have had a trail of plant deaths. I’m starting to think it’s me;  my rosemary is currently at its deathbed. My lemongrass died months ago.

12.

One time Tamms asked me, “did you always want to have children when you were my age?” I was driving. I said, “not exactly when I was your age, but yeah there was an understanding that you had to get married and have children and get really broke because children are always eating” I said this and looked at Kim in the rearview mirror. He was unbothered, staring outside.

“But you knew you wanted children.”

I said I did. “I thought I’d get three daughters, but then that one came along and he had nice eyes so I said I might as well keep him.” 

She chuckled and said. “I don’t think I want children.”

“Why?” I asked her.

“I don’t know. But I just don’t think I would like to have children.”

“What about marriage?”

“Yes, I’d like to get married one day.”

“So you’d have to meet a man who also doesn’t want children.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh God. So I have to rely on that one for grandchildren.” I nodded at Kim.

She laughed. 

“Yes. Well, maybe I might change my mind in the future, but for now I know I don’t want children.”

I nodded and said that was okay, nobody HAS to have children. 

She’s 14 years old. I’m very proud of her. That she’s forming into a woman with bold opinions. I just don’t understand how she and girls her age wear hoodies even when it’s so blazing hot outside. What are these kids hiding? 

13.

Last time I was in shags, it stormed, raining and gusting furiously. In the morning I discovered that one of my favourite acacia trees had been felled in the storm. I found it on its side, its roots resembling a botched root canal. I was gutted. The tree was a home to birds. It was next to what will be my bedroom. We stood there looking at it with Steve, my shamba boy. The bird nests were still intact and birds perched on the branches. Unbeknownst to them, they would have to find a home soon. 

He suggested that he chop it into firewood. I said, no leave it. Let them leave whenever they are ready to leave. 

I don’t know the moral of this story. You can create your own moral around it. 

14.

You haven’t lived life until you have dealt with fundis. Everybody should build something in their lifetime. Anything, really, a barn, a toilet, a gazebo. It builds your character. It teaches you that nothing ever goes according to plan, that you don’t know anything at all, that people are inherently dishonest, that most people would rather cut a corner if given a chance, that even the best laid plans mean shit. 

15.

I ran into a former schoolmate who I hadn’t seen in years. How we met was I was from the Text Book Center at Sarit, riding up the escalator, absentmindedly thinking about solar panels. He was riding down when our eyes met and locked and we both had that flash of hesitant recognition seeing as it’s been over 25 years and we have all changed tremendously; he’s much heavier than the 17 year old I last saw and my forehead is more pronounced. [Like a solar panel.” “Biko?” He asked as he passed and I said, “boss!” which is what you call someone when you have forgotten their names.

I rode back down because that’s the rule; the person who forgets the name has to ride back down. He was holding the hand of a boy who turned out to be his son. I could immediately tell that he had Down’s Syndrome. He kept playfully swinging his dad’s hand while making aeroplane sounds as we caught up. 

He was in his second marriage and the boy was from the second marriage, he told me after we had talked about boring things like work. He has three more from the first marriage, he said. We stood there talking about children like they were fruit trees. ‘Yeah, I have two. One is this high and the other has hair that looks like a wild bush.” ‘My middle one eats his nails. Maybe he lacks vital minerals.” 

As he talked about the one swinging his hand he looked down at him and smiled so warmly the whole time. I could feel his love for him move underneath the floor we stood on. I could feel the pure energy of it all, it’s a love that could wash away bridges and demolish walls. “When it all ended everybody thought I was a fool,” he said, “leaving my family for a single mother with a son with special needs. I thought it was nuts at first but I think God had been preparing me with my three children to be a father to this one in my middle-age.”

I’ve never forgotten that last statement about God preparing him. 

Makes you wonder; what is God preparing you for?

Anyhow. 

For my birthday I’m opening this comment section up for 30 more questions, but I can answer more, time permitting. Nothing too personal, surely. Nothing YOU wouldn’t answer. I will be seated at my computer for the next few hours responding to these questions. 

Thanks for always reading this blog for the past 12 years. You have kept me company through many milestones. You guys rock. 

Happy Birthday to my birthday-mates; Connie Aluoch, Florence Bett- Kinyatti [who has a dope new book out about money], my nephews Tony Ading and Garvin Ading and lastly Kwame Miyayi. 

Libras to the world. 

 

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491
351 Comments
  1. Big up man! Happy birthday mate. Cheers to another 45…toothless they say..

    Would you consider yourself a great father? Do you second guess yourself as a dad.?

    Marriage…What are your thoughts?

    As a man…do you have a BFF? I struggle with that shit man

    47
    1. 1. I’m a deliberate father. I make time and prioritize my kids. I give them the best of me and what I can give them. But many many times I feel inadequate as a father, I feel that I could do more for them. I need validation there. Being complimented as a great father holds more water for me than a writer compliment even though my identity is not pegged on fatherhood. Because kids leave, man.

      2. Marriage.
      Marry your friend. Helps if your friend has a great ass.

      3. BFF? Come on, bro. What are those?

      114
      1. “2. Marriage.
        Marry your friend. Helps if your friend has a great ass.”

        Pretty sure you said “hips” the last time you mentioned this….are you switching up on us?

        10
  2. Hey Biko. First thanks for your blog and Happy birthday. At this point i believe your weekly article is the one constant in my life. No matter where i am, i can confidently say that i will be reading Bikozulu next Tuesday( Unless God forbid something happens to either of us). What is the secret to writing? Can you produce great work even when you are feeling uninspired?

    17
    1. Me too! I was so bummed the past few weeks when I could not get through the website! However, when I finally did, i forgot the frustrations. I have bought both books (Drunk and Thursday) must read if you have not yet!

      6
  3. Nice read. I am fast approaching 35, the official age at which one exits youth, and so far, the third floor is awesome. Having children is nice. Am sure Tamms will change her mind with time. But hey, what advice do you have for those in their thirties, gender notwithstanding?

    10
  4. Happy birthday Biko. Thank you so m7ch especially for no. 7 and 8.

    Regards,
    Casper
    (Accountant turned Graphic Designer – best decision ever)

    6
  5. Happy birthday Biko. Thank you so much especially for no. 7 and 8.

    Regards,
    Casper
    (Accountant turned Graphic Designer – best decision ever)

    4
  6. Waiting for the other 30 observations…surely Biko, you can’t say 45 at 45 then leave us hanging at 15!
    Happiest birthday though!

    12
    1. I think the other 30 nuggets should be the answers to the questions he has allowed the gang to ask him today. Just read through all the comments and you will get to 45.

      9
    1. What you are constantly becoming (continuous tense) is a series of events, not one single happening. They are many; birth of my kids, pursuing my passion for writing……

      10
  7. I’m actually shocked that you are 45 years man. I’m 26 and I wonder what I will be doing between now and when I am 45, feels like a long time. Anyway, your writing is very youthful, how do you manage to stay in touch with your inner child?

    4
  8. Hey Biko, Happy 45 to you Sir. I have a question as you turn 45. Which place have you gone to sit and write a story/Blog but when you started you fell in love with the place and couldn’t even write no more.

    2
  9. hey Biko, happiest of birthdays

    so if kim also doesn’t want kids, are you really okay with not having grand children?

    1
  10. Biko, your composure in your articles is loud! Your way with words is effortless am sure that comes with lots of practice but above all, passion in writing. We thank The Almighty for bringing you this far and may your worst fears never come to pass. Stay blessed and be safe. God bless.

    5
  11. You and the missus have been together for a while. How do you keep the fire burning after all these. (This is not to personal, surely)

    4
  12. Happy happy birthday Biko. Am proud that such a great mind would share a birthday date with my son. I look always forward to Tuesdays and you never disappoint. Am a teacher of English and I cant even be an inch of the writer you are. I envy your writing prowess. Keep soaring and I hope as you grow older and get added to watsap groups you will not keep forwarding posts that they have seen a million times.

    7
  13. Happy birthday, Biko. May you keep writing the years away. I’m particularly gripped by No.8, on us being more than one thing in our lifetimes. I’m currently working towards this, so I feel quite validated. Quick question – what would you do differently if you were to start your career all over again?

    1
  14. Happiest birthday Biko…I am 24 and I’ve been reading your beautiful works since forever…what advice would you give a 24 year old lady? Or what would 24 year old Biko do differently?

  15. Lovely Piece, Happy 45th Birthday Biko!

    I like that Tamms knows she doesn’t want to have kids (For now) and that you are okay with it, more parents should be like you!

    Given a Chance Biko, would you have had more kids other than the two?

    3
  16. Have you ever been at a place where you know what you want; it feels right but everything and everyone else is telling you it’s wrong?

    1
  17. Happy birthday chocolate man!!!

    Well, when I was 14, we used to wear hoodies all the time to hide our growing boobs so yeah….

    Anyway, they say you barely ever regret the wild life you had, but you regret the leaps you didn’t take.

    What would you say has been your biggest regret so far? Either something you did you wish you didn’t or something you didn’t you wish you did.

    5
    1. Is it sad or disingenuous that I don’t have regrets? Everything that I have gone through has been preparing me for now.

      7
  18. Happy birthday Biko. Have many happy ones.
    I would like to ask where to begin writing a book, an autobiography with many lessons learnt.

  19. Am gutted that you listen to Oliver Mtukudzi as inspiration for really sad sentences. I find his music grounding, a welcoming back to my roots,like going home. If I was a song I’d have loved to be one of his songs, so authentic without aromat. Its true that our childhood influences the decisions we make when we are adults consciously or unconsciously. Happy birthday chocolate man , may you live many more years of health and purpose

    3
  20. Happy birthday Biko.Thank you for making us look forward to Tuesday’s.Heres to many more years of great stories

  21. Now that it is your birthday and you mentioned Libras, do you believe in astrology? Do you let things happen and accept because your stars said it will happen??
    Happy birthday Chocolate Man

    2
  22. Happy birthday Biko. Always a pleasure to read your blogs. PS. As far as am concerned, you’ve already made your mark-breathing life into any story and sharing them with us.
    Onto my question: Besides what I have just stated, which mark do you wish to leave? Or rather, what’s the one thing that would make you feel fulfilled?

    5
  23. It’s my birthday today, and my ex-girlfriend. The lady I thought I would marry. Today I turn 28, a year that I’ve been looking forward to. I envisioned myself writing copy for a top ad agency but as it turns out, they stopped hiring moons ago, or their mode of application changed. I also saw myself driving a loud subaru, and partying at those uptown clubs in shiny blazers. Happy Birthday Biko, you inspired me to take up an advertising degree course. Let me ask, what do you remember about being 28?

    2
    1. So many stories here, Jerome. Ati loud Subaru!? Lol.

      28? Wow. I remember confusion, insecurities that came in waves and fear of time running out before I made something of my life. Generally, in your 20s you should stay in that rocky boat, it’s important that you weather that shit. Because it will be okay, eventually even though it doesn’t seem so then. So my 20s I was a spinning Coke bottle which finally stopped spinning in my early 30s and pointed towards my true north.

      28
      1. 20’s are rocky man! Ah, I hope my true north will surely point!

        Happy birthday Biko. Keep being you. You’ve taught me to be human, the way you write about the joys and trials of humanity affirms me every damn time!

        1
  24. I am thinking of that tree that was felled by the storm. The nests are there, probably the hatchlings in there too. A mother bird who flew in such of worms..(the early bird you know..) …. Have you ever hit rock bottom but you have to hold the fort for the sake of the hatchlings…?

    7
    1. ISZ, this is a beautiful question. I lost my job when I was 29, with a daughter who was less than a year old or something. It wasn’t exactly rock bottom but it was scary. And uncertain. I paid rent for six months from the severance package and then I put on a battery saving mode. I think you have to be able to accept the situation for what it is, and then work your way out day by day.

      32
  25. Happy Birthday Biko and i personally look forward to blog posts from tortoise neck skin Biko. In your lifetime so far you have been mostly known as a writer,is there any other person/way you would want to be known as, without the writer part?

  26. Hello Biko. What do you think of psychedelics & mind altering drugs? Can they play a role in creativity? Last week I had the opportunity to ask the recent nobel winner this question, I forgot. Thus, I pass it to you?

    3
  27. I’m hoping I’m not too late to comment.
    Happy birthday Biko
    I’m such a big fan.
    The time you are open to questions is suddenly when they all disappear from me .
    Enjoy your day Biko.

    2
  28. I’ve to here every Tuesday, that’s the rule. Anyway, one question: how come you hardly ever write about your wife?

    3
  29. First off happy birthday biko…….second my question is, or rather my questions are. what is the one thing that happened to you in life that you learned the biggest lesson from and what was the lesson?

    1. Losing my writing job during the recession of 2009. The lesson was; there is always a silver lining. It’s because of that that I became freelance, started a blog…and here we are.

      8
  30. I’d have to agree with people on this one- leaving your family for a single mother with a son with special needs is crazy

    3
  31. I am about to graduate from college., Studied business development and international finance…I am looking for an internship position, any recommendations?

    1
  32. Happy Birthday Don Biko!
    Allow me to leave this here..
    https://onlineletstalkblog.wordpress.com/2022/10/10/blessings-dimming-world/

    1
  33. Happy birthday Biko and thank you for the blog, i always look forward to Tuesdays, for the read and i can tell you i am hooked. I have laughed, i have cried, i have found inspiration here and all i can say is thank you.

    2
  34. Part of number 8 is actually on my linked in. There’s no one thing to be. Life is too long for that. Happy birthday Biko.

  35. With some compliments to Bryan Adams, here are some 10 questions for you: What/which is –
    1. The biggest lie you ever told, to whom and why?
    2. The longest night you ever spent?
    3. The angriest letter /message you never sent, to whom and why?
    4. The angriest message/letter you did send, to whom and why?
    5. The sweetest dream you have had in your 45 years
    6. Your darkest hour,
    7. Your hardest fight
    8. The interview that changed you most. And why.
    9. Your definition of happiness
    10. What else you could have been if not a writer

    9
    1. 1. I have told many lies, none is bigger. Sometimes the smaller ones were the nastiest.
      2. Ever had a toothache?
      3.This is a long story.
      4. My Fundi in shags. Took off with my money.Abandoned work.
      5. My mom was alive.
      6.The hour I was told my mom was dead.
      7. Finding myself.
      8. They change me in many degrees.,
      9. Contentment.
      10. NSIS agent.

      26
      1. Biko, I am a reader of your blog for many years, and I can confirm one thing: the loss of your mother scarred you. It left you deeply hurt. And that reality of life terrifies me, which is why I wrote this poem:

        Of death and nothingness,
        How death visits and leaves as quick,
        Like a vapor, it leaves and floats to nothingness ,
        A vapor, that will condense on judgment day.

        I find a vulnerability in death,
        I fear, it will break me apart, rip me to pieces,
        Not mine, definitely, but for of those I love,
        For as one said, dead men tell no tales.

        I have not experienced it at a level that personal,
        Which should I say it is the blessing of God?
        But which sometimes still leaves me scared stiff,
        Will I recover when it visits those my heart loves?

        I’m I asking for death in small proportions,
        So that we can be immunized against its pain?
        No, death is an unwelcome friend,
        A crude guest who we’ll never be prepared adequately for.

        I saw it this morning, when it passed nearby,
        And sought to claim the lives of those in the vehicle,
        We rushed to snatch them from its claws,
        And empty-handed it left, albeit with the marks of blood.

        7
  36. happy Birthday Biko, I jumped on along the way, cant remember when but am always looking forward to a Tuesday read. May God bless you. I love that conversation with Tamms, I love that you don’t force your ideas on her, that she speaks out and that you listen.
    I would love to live simply and intentionally, so help me God

    5
  37. Hi Biko, happy 45th birthday
    My question is on losing a parent. How do you deal with the pain way after the burial and the world moving on? Are you ever truly happy? Like, do you laugh heartily again?
    I ask not because I’ve lost a parent but because I fear it may creep up on me. One of my parents has a terminal illness and I’m scared of how everything will go if/when the time comes

    4
    1. Shee,

      You know my greatest fear in high school? That my dad would come to visit me on an odd day only to tell me we have to go home because my mom had died. That shit kept me up in high school. Thankfully only mom died many years later from pulmonary embolism, a terminal illness as well. You know it’s coming but you don’t know when and when it comes it’s like a wrecking ball and you’r drowning in grief and pain and you can’t sleep. The world feels broken and unsafe. Great loneliness come at you. It gets so dark in your life, you never imagine you will ever feel emotions like joy or pride, you never imagine you can laugh again.

      But you do.

      Time heals. It gets better, but it happens slowly, over many years. It’s been ten years and I still miss my mom and sometimes I will cry but it’s better than last year and last year was better than three years ago.

      You will be fine, but before you get fine you will go through the eye of the storm. Strap in.

      Sorry about your mom.

      30
  38. Happy 45th, Biko!

    I remember leaving a comment here when you turned 35. Now here we are, 10 years later. Look at that.

    We truly thank God for bringing us thus far. Truly. He has flooded our lives with an abundance of beauty and joy, there is really nothing more we can ask for.

    Thanks for the birthday wishes as well (38 smells so darn good already, ha-ha).

    I am honoured to be your business partner and writing mentee.

    Cheers to a lifetime to colour and creativity.

    11
  39. Happy Birthday, Chocolate Man.
    Thank you for all the lovely stories you share with us, may your pen keep writing and inspiring us with tales of wonder and adventure.

    Will we ever get a sequel to either Drunk or Thursdays?

    1
  40. Thanks Biko for this wonderful section, always looking forward to it.
    I’ve learnt a lot, and most of these stories are an emotional roller-coaster. People have different experiences in this life- there are those who have it good, those who have it bad, those who had it good and they found themselves back to scratch.. and so on and on. Makes you appreciate where you are in life- maybe it’s not where you wanted to be, but you still appreciate it.
    Happy Birthday Biko!

    2
  41. Happy Birthday Biko!
    It has been an honor reading your work for this long.
    Quick one, Did you always know you would go into writing? If not, when and how did the change happen?

  42. May you have the best and more today and always. Happy Birthday, Biko.

    1. Your blog has been my drug of choice for the last four years. The books are wonderful reads. I lost count of the number of times I have gotten Drunk on Thursdays. When are you writing the next?

    2. What advice would you give to a 30yrs old man about life in general?

    1
    1. Thanks a lot.

      Third book is giving me a headache. It will be out next year.

      This blog was about lessons. Pick a gem.

      2
  43. Happy 45th birthday, Chocolate Man. Looking back at your life from where you are right now, do you have any major regret, one that stands out? And if given a chance to go through the 45 years again, is there something you’d do differently and why?

    PS: Many moons ago you mentioned here that you’ve never had a birthday cake made for you, has this changed or you still haven’t had this experience?

    1. It’s not happened. Haha. But don’t feel sorry for me. I am not into big production. Like those cooks who come out of kitchen banging pans and singing happy birthday. I’d run out of the restaurant.

      16
  44. Happy Birthday Biko, May you live to be old and toothless. I believe you have been leaving a mark so here’s to you not be a plantain to the world.
    Thank you for such a wonderful piece, yet again. Confident to say that your articles are the reason I look forward to Tuesdays. I’ve been reading them for the past 7 years now. I found 1, 8 and 9 to be really thought-provoking for me.
    A quick question, to date, what is the one thing, someone ever did for or to you that moved you to tears?

    1
    1. When my mum died, a gentleman called Peter Waweru heard about her death and sent me some substantial amount of cash. We weren’t even close. He didn’t have to. That touched me.

      7
  45. 45 already? I started reading you here and Mantalk back in the day even before you got to the big 40. You are already making a mark in the world, your profile interviews on Business Daily really do make me look forward to Fridays . Happiest birthday, (Tomorrow) Biko

    4
  46. It feels weird to wish a fellow man happy birthday, but yeah, we share a birthday sir. 10 yrs younger and the lessons are more real. For those of us going through no 14 everyday, we deserve a special seat in heaven
    Landscape architect turned builder.
    Keep writing!

    1
  47. Happy Birthday Biko

    My question if you were not a writer what else would you be? Like think of your elemental childhood though and if that would be what you want to be.

    1. Maybe in intelligence. Or special forces. Something to do with espionage. I like the idea of being in a world where I unearth crime. Or stop it.

      3
  48. I wish you well tomorrow Biko and onto your next 45, I trust you’ll find the time to list the other 30 observation before your whiskey tomorrow.
    Looking back at these last 45 odd years would you have done it differently given a chance?
    And if so what would you change?

  49. Happy birthday Biko, thank you for being here most Tuesdays. Somedays when you’re absent, I wonder if Kendu Bay (and fishing) is calling louder as the years roll by…?

    “The older man pulled his mask down and sucked his sweet forlornly, as if listening to its taste.”
    Hahaha..this made me laugh out loud.

    No 2. “The future belongs to those who can learn, unlearn and relearn.”

    No 6. The phrase ‘Fear not’ or ‘Be not afraid’ appears roughly 365 times in the Bible. It’s never God’s plan for us to walk around in paranoia or anxiety. Be not afraid. He gat you. Make God your insurance.
    “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.”
    (Deuteronomy 33:27a)

    No 11. Maybe call Duncan the grass guy to do his magic with your plants. Otherwise just get faux plants if you want them more for aesthetics than for oxygen. They look like the real deal, you just have to dust them once in a while.

    No 13. Thank you Chocoman for being considerate to the little birdies. May they reward your homestead with early morning birdsong.

    No 14. Fundis, tailors – same whatsapp group. It sometimes needs someone sitting right there for them to follow precise directions or even to complete the project.

    4
  50. Happiest 45th birthday Biko. I always look forward to tuesdays. You inspire me, i love your writing soo much, i always read as i write down vocabs then i google later the meaning today i wrote down ‘arduous’ lol

    i hope to meet you some day in person, or to see you from a far, just to put a face to this great writer.

    blessings.

  51. Happy birthday. Thanks for the entertaining reads. Love the picture you painted of Elementaita. I do hope God is prepping me for something, though what(?) , I haven’t a clue. What’s wrong with talking to plants? Massive eyeroll. It’s no wonder they dying. Them babies need some tlc too Biko. Insert endless tears emoji. Seems like we have similar weaknesses. Impatience, harboring resentment and grudges and quickness to anger. I’m tired of fighting them off. I’m trying to get comfortable with them. Maybe see how to redirect them. Easier said than done. Love what you said abt being a purposeful dad. So few of those today. The moral of that story of the birds is to be extra kind to animals because you don’t know marking scheme ya mbinguni. Despite knowing for a fact that I constantly worry about my own life and thus it is for everyone, I still bother with what people would say about my life especially my career decisions. Oh and the fears around decisions. The fears around letting people down and having to explain yourself. Trust me, I know all the cliche responses of no one cares, yet still I bother. Smh. Love what you said abt careers and not always being condemned to one, however no one talks abt how hard it is to shift gears and embrace your true calling especially when the fields are vastly different. Still gathering up the courage so help me God. I wish you all the best in the life you’ve envisioned and thanks for inspiring people who love the arts out here, by walking purposely in the direction of your dreams. Only question I have is perhaps around the many person’s you’ve interviewed and interacted with, both bigwigs and ordinary folk, and you’ve obviously interacted with many, what life lessons or character defining traits have you noted that have stood out to you? Could be positive or negative. Something(s) that made you say wow , this is a trait that I admire/hate/never knew about/made me have a different life outlook/would love to pass on as knowledge to my kids/hope my kids never adapt/is rarely found on this planet/that made this person who they are/is going to take this person places/will be the downfall of this person, I don’t know. Maybe lastly, which of your stories would you ever wish to revisit or haunts you whether positively or negatively or rather which interview did you most enjoy and why? And lastly, you’ve shared with us your greatest fears ie dying alone, abandoned, not having achieved much…but care to share your greatest hopes, if not too personal? Maybe winning a Pulitzer someday perhaps? Collaborating with Obama on a book perhaps? Idk. Happy birthday to the owner of an expanding forehead lol

    1
    1. The stories of people that have a great effect on me are people who have cracked the concept of contentment.People who are unbothered by the yardsticks of success because they have set their own and made peace with those. I’m averse to loud, colourful and brash characters. Calm waters running deep? That kind of thing.

      Something that made me say wow? I interviewed former AG Githu Muigai and asked him about money and he talked about the law of diminishing returns. In short, if you are earning 1m a month and another person is earning 3m a month, you are going to enjoy the same quality of life. That stayed with me. From Bob Collymore, I learnt about living small but living deeply.

      [You have many ‘lastly’ in your question.]

      Which stour would I ever want to revisit? None.

      My greatest hope? To continue living on my own terms.

      6
  52. Hey Biko, your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard. Blow the candles out! Quick! Oh, and happy birthday!
    I seriously enjoy reading your blog, your humour is on another level. Cheers to 45more yrs!

    3
  53. “We imagine that people spend a lot of time thinking about our lives and our choices. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about you and your life. People are busy thinking about their own lives. ”

    This is absolute naked truth… Do you give a rat’s ass about your kids thoughts of you?

  54. Biko, if we met in this Nairobi, what beer would you like to drink?
    Also, I hope your eyes were fixed. Surely eyesight problems are scarier than rectum problems?

    1. Dylan. I don’t drink beer. Taste like old piss. And all that belching, man.
      My eyes is much better and no, rectum problems take the biscuit.

      1
  55. Happy birthday Biko.
    No 2 is it for me.
    Thank you for your blogs. They have far more reaching effects that growing our vocabulary

    1
  56. Happy birthday Chocolate man and cheers to many more. For some of us your blog has been a source of inspiration as well as a healing process. Looking forward to many many more Tuesday’s ahead.!

  57. Happy birthday Biko!! 45!! I thought you were in your 50s going to 60s. No offense. Anyway I’m turning 22 next week and I have always admired reading books. Honestly Biko I think I have read more books than you have, let’s argue in a library. Anyway, I want to write one day so badly that I sometimes start then stop. I have saved your email to send you a story one day when I get the courage to and wish one day to get to your master class when I get my finances. What’s like being inspirational? Honestly I do think you have left a mark already and on that about leaving a mark, I can’t wait to. How did you do it?? What’s scared you the most before fully being a writer??

    1. I’m such a slow reader I’m certain you have read more books that I have. Maybe even double of what I have read. How did I leave a mark? I could tell you about consistency and hardworking and grit, which are all great qualities but I think we are all chosen to fulfil something on earth and I think mine was to tell stories. That’s how I did it. The dice was already cast. I’m a small cog in a big wheel.

      What scared me the most was the big question; what if I fail as a writer? What if nobody ever read me? Will writing pay? But I had immense faith and confidence because I was fuelled by passion. Passion is a wood that keeps the fire alive.

      5
  58. I do not want to shower you with compliments, they must be choking you, here, forget it you can.t see where …..if you would have had a failed marriage with a kid and remarried(to a single mum) before you turn 30,would your life have turned out differently now at 45?

    1. You can turn out differently at whatever age. And how you turn out isn’t controlled by some great outer force. No spirits are dancing around a fire to sabotage you. You can experience great setbacks but you can turn them around if you want to. So yes, you can.

      3
  59. Happy Birthday, Biko.
    So much into our lives it feels like the family member who is always checking on you every week.
    Thank you.

    1
  60. Happy birthday Biko!

    In a particular blog post, an old one so the title skips my mind, you stated that you weren’t a man until you turned 31.

    What did you mean by that? What happened at 31 that became the mark of manhood for you…

    1. It means there are is a point in your life when you start feeling a distinct transformation of thought and of self awareness. It’s gradual. Mine started at that age.

      1
  61. Libra to the world.Happy birthday Niko and all fellow October babies.

    Few corrections.PSA test doest replace DRE-Digital Rectal Examination,alot of details are deduced from it,e.g texture,nodularity and so forth.

    Now to the question,in our set-up,middle level economy does writing pay and can one live solely out of it without sidehustles?
    Thank you for the good work.God bless.

    1
    1. Thanks, David.

      I have lived writing for over 12 years as a freelance writer. Answer is yes, but it’s back breaking. And chasing accountants for your money isn’t sexy at all.

      1
  62. Happy Birthday Biko! Wishing you more of good health and long life so i can continue reading your stories…

    My question is are you married? Thanks…

  63. Happy birthday, Biko. Lakini, plantains were just chilling!

    https://himizaafrika.wordpress.com/2022/10/11/little-superpowers/

    1
  64. Happy birthday Biko. Have tonnes more happy healthy years Who is Biko when the writing is stripped away and you aren’t a husband and father?

  65. Wow, Biko….Happy 45th Birthday..I like reading your blogs ..it kinda makes me have that feeling of I also read ..well struggle to finish reading books but blogs I actually finish..

    Great lessons there no.5 caught my attention I am in my thirties and sometimes I am stuck in that..sometimes not always….
    How did you overcome that.

  66. Hello, Biko.

    What other getaway local destinations have you been to, that you can suggest to a group of ladies out to explore and adventure?

    Happy Birthday.

    1. The Northern Frontier is quite stimulating. Marsabit, South Horr, Loiyangalani, Sibilio, Chalbi…It’s barren and unexpected. It’s away from the beaten path. I hope your friends are open minded, other wise it won’t work.

      6
  67. Happiest Birthday Chocolate man!

    I have been reading you for over 8 years now. I don’t need a reminder for Tuesday. Tuesdays for me are Biko Tuesdays.

    The ’40s are the BEST posts I have ever read. Mena and marriage come 2nd. . I re-read every time I feel low, frustrated, and uncertain.

    I love you Chocolate man. Very best wishes.

    4
  68. Happy 45th Chocolate man. I have noticed the ebbing reading culture especially in the error of skits, tiktoks and whatnots. As a budding writer, I find the trend discouraging. What is that one sauce that helps you keep content interesting?

  69. Happy Birthday Biko! And to maaaany more. I always look f0rward to your articles on tuesday…the vocabulary, and most especially the intrigue. Keep writing and may your unique writing spirit keep evolving..

  70. Happy birthday Biko. Number 2 and 8 got me. I am an engineer who also happens to fix cars and do art during free time. For the former reason, i follow several automotive YouTube accounts. You remind me of one automotive-YouTuber by the name ChrisFix. Despite having almost 9M subscribers, he has never revealed his face in any of the videos he posts. Just like you! Why don’t you surprise us one day with a face reveal!?

    2
  71. Who had you gone to interview in statehouse sometime back & where is the story.
    The camel man; yes, that one; does he still sponsor classes? Not me but a deserving case…

    1. Just Google statehouse, Bikozulu. I can’t recall the title.

      Haha, Halake, camel man, is now a paramount chief. I will ask him.

      1
  72. Afternoon Biko,

    which is your favourite book?

    which school of thought are you? do you think life has a meaning or do we struggle a lot to give meaning to what has no meaning?

    regards
    ndabari

  73. Happy 45th Biko!

    The fact that your kids can talk to you about anything, means you are doing a good job! You are a great father!

    1
  74. Happy birthday Biko. You rock!
    I am your loyal fan since 2015 even though I don’t usually comment.
    What would you do if you found yourself stagnated and the very idea of being stuck brings you guilt and anxiety?

    1. I’m currently at a creative crossroad. It’s no walk in the beach but I know I have to be here to move. Stopping to reflect is also part of the journey. I always say I’m simply sitting on a stone as I gather breath.

      1
  75. Happy birthday Biko. Thank you for always making Tuesday’s days to look forward to. Say hi to Tamms,feels like we’d be really good friends

  76. Hey Biko, happy birthday! Thanks for bringing stories to life and making a mark in this world already. Question – you interview a lot of people who have gone through a lot of trauma in life. How do you manage to write their stories without getting affected by the raw emotions?

    1
  77. Nice read
    Whats your say in marrying a lady with like 2 kids yet you got none of your own

    2ndly whats your thought on reaching 37 no kids, not married and with pressure all round

  78. Happy Birthday Biko!I honestly look foward to Tuesdays, for the last I don’t know how many years. I read you while in Uni, now I’m working and still at it. That part of dying beside Dorah has me in stitches.

    My question is, do your children read your blog?
    Would you like them to carry on with Bikozulu (If, God forbid nurse Dorah does the thing)?
    There is only one photo of you on the internet. Do you tell your friends not to tag or mention you in this digital era.

    1
  79. Happy 45th Biko.

    We share the same fear…poverty. I never want this to be my portion. You cannot wish it away, however we can strive to not make room for it.

    I am in the process of No.8. Its thrilling and frightening at the same time.

    Thank you for being constant.

  80. Where do you work from? Do you think that in the future, you can invite us intruders, to see and feel where all these write ups are churned from.?

    Happy birthday, our Biko.

  81. One day, I will thank those who would have journeyed with my blog for 12 years. I will not be a law student burning the midnight oil preparing for the bar while occassionally visiting the bar across the street for ‘spiritual’ nourishment. Maybe I will be someone’s husband, leaving the fridge door open and the toilet seat… (is it up or down? Which is wrong?) Or maybe I will be at the beach up in the coast, Malindi perhaps, stroking my goatee, which would have grown some inches by then, trying to convince a lass with an ass and a coastal accent to board my Audi and understand why it has 4 rings in the logo before I give her the fifth ring.
    That day, I will be 31 years old, 6 years and 17 days from now. Inshallah.

    Biko, when does life really begin? The cliché 40?

    4
  82. I’ve been here 12 years… literally grown into a full woman and religiously every Tuesday and most Fridays (on that daily paper) I have camped here and seen the world through a new set of eyes.
    Thank you for being you. For your sharing your gift with us. For consistenly delivering excellence on all your platforms. Your kids might be (very) embarassed by your dad jokes but I am sure they are so proud.
    Happy Birthday to you.
    No question. I believe one day you’ll tell my story and I’ll ask it in person lol.

  83. A happy birthday to you Boss. Just the other day you wrote a post about turning 40! Time indeed flies! Huh? Baraka Thura!

    Waves by Robin Schulz Remix Radio Edit is such a cool tune. I listen to it a lot!

    2
  84. Happy birthday Biko!
    You have taught me consistency, keeping at it. Grit. Discipline.

    Question – Tamms mom. After 45 years, would you say YOU are because SHE is? If you hadn’t married her, do you thing you’d be you?

  85. Happy birthday Biko! May you have many more!

    “Life is too long to be just one thing… There’s what you do and there’s who you’re .. ” I love that wisdom. I like it that I’m a HR practitioner, a blogger/story teller and I’d like to retire as an international grocery owner!

  86. Most of the problems in life come because of two reasons: we act without thinking and we keep thinking without acting! (I quote)
    Happy birthday Biko…

  87. I am most definitely reading this one late but what do you think God is preparing you for? I mean none of us knows what it is we are being prepared for but if you could guess, what answer comes first to mind?

    Happy Birthday Biko. 45 sounds good on you.

  88. Read this with so much warmth, that I could relate to how you did, your buddy’s affection to his step son.

    Happiest 45th Birthday Biko!

    Go for anything and everything you’ll ever feel drawn and are willing to explore, but please write about it.
    Thank you 🙂

    If I did ask, “Biko,would you ever quit on writing even if you went blind?” Since I’d dreadfully reset a considation, I won’t ask!

    1. Read this with so much warmth, that I could relate to how you did, your buddy’s affection to his step son.

      Happiest 45th Birthday Biko!

      Go for anything and everything you’ll ever feel drawn and are willing to explore, but please write about it.
      Thank you

      If I did ask, “Biko,would you ever quit on writing even if you went blind?” Since I’d dreadfully **resent a considation, I won’t ask!

      1. Read this with so much warmth, that I could relate to how you did, your buddy’s affection to his step son.

        Happiest 45th Birthday Biko!

        Go for anything and everything you’ll ever feel drawn and are willing to explore, but please write about it.
        Thank you

        If I did ask, “Biko,would you ever quit on writing even if you went blind?” Since I’d dreadfully **resent a **consideration, I won’t ask!

        2 typos . (Taking refuge on the rat’s ass )

  89. Happy Birthday Biko your an inspiration .

    Question many are the stories you have written kindly go back and interview the guys you did their stories and see if they can give us better closures

    Regards
    Nathan

  90. Happy birthday to your battalion, indeed their joy has surpassed the expectations of our fake friends. The only people who can mess up your kidneys and cannot honor their pledges during your medical fund drive.

    Biko, if given a chance, can you marry a second and third wife?

  91. Happy birthday Biko, I always prefer to read the blog later in the day or a day after, I read it slowly. Take notes on my keep notes app under the tittle “Things I steal from Biko”. I do so because I don’t only read the story, I scavenge the comments for a different view from the readers. I stumbled on this blog accidentally on my strolls on twitter during a toilet visit, and every Tuesday there after has never been the same. If I should tell you, that thing of being afraid to die without a mark, you have already made a mark in some of our lives. The blog is more like the devil’s dust, very addictive. As others are counting 7 yrs on this blog, I am counting months, I am a little jealous but thank God, I found my way here.

    Biko what do think about “The ones we love don’t love us and those who love us we don’t love them” ( talking about romantic relationships ).

    1
  92. I know I’m late, I was so busy with work but first thing I did when I got home was sit and read. I fell in love with this blog when I first read Visa denied. Biko you inspired me to hunger for a world I didn’t know existed. I wanted to see River Thames and it’s beauty. I now read you from the UK every week any your words bring me back home. Sometimes I feel like you live here because you use some vocab used in every day speech here which makes it easy to relate. Thank you for telling your story and helping us see the world through your eyes. Happy 45th Biko!!

    2
  93. She’s 14. She is wearing a hoodie to hide her boobs because there is a boy in school or a grown up man who made a comment about them or tried to touch her inappropriately.

    There’s your answer.

  94. 12 years!? Well ive been here around five.. i guess the first story i remember was about an uber guy who carried an army guy around town. Damn that cannot have been a true story

    1
    1. That uber story was not Biko’s. It was authored by one Charles Chanchori. He used to have blog too but he disappeared on us. He has gone on to write 3-4 books.

  95. Happy birthday Biko! I started reading your work last year ( best discovery). Ive been looking up every hook and nook to find a portrait of you. Whenever I land on any that might be you, I shoove it off and say, “Is this really him? No it can’t be him!” Im still on the search. I hope to see and meet you one day in person. I’m a ‘writer’ 24 years of age. My mum introduced me to you. I love you. I love your work. You inspire my heart.
    Happy birthday young King!

  96. “Life is long enough to be many things because there is what you do and who you are” love that.
    Started reading you 3 years ago after an ex mentioned you and wow, Tuesdays became my therapy sessions to help with the heartbreak. (Haha)
    Happy 45th Biko. To more great stories.

  97. I am so late but now is when I could find time to read you before drifting off to sleep. Happy Blessed Birthday Biko. You make my Tuesdays.

  98. I read when you turned 35. And here we are; 45! It’s been a decade?? Time is wind indeed!

    Happy birthday Biko!

    One question, and I hope this is not too personal…
    Why is it that you rarely, if ever, write about the missus? Doesn’t she feel left out, or she prefers it that way?

  99. Biko, this is an amazing piece . When is your novel coming out? ((Bikos subtle art~ ~)
    , I hope we are launching it soon. Simplicity/originality/ deep/ satirical/ humor/ Realistic/practical/ life lessons/ Precise/ etc .. this is what your writing is all about.. well done.. and Happy @45th bday

  100. Happiest of birthdays Biko- thanks for always showing up here. I have laughed, cried, learned and reflected loads over the years. What I LOVED today and had to read twice was the question of what God is preparing me for…..I literally just found out and couldn’t be more grateful .
    Question: Have you ever wanted to live in a foreign country? On the continent or further out? If yes, what stopped you?

  101. Late to the party where I am told the birthday candles might start a fire, worry not, I have a fire extinguisher, Happy Birthday!

  102. Happy belated birthday Biko!!
    Yes.. Our childhood determines our daily struggles or triumphs.. Our behavior actually.

  103. My sister introduced me to this blog back in 2011 and I love how it has been a constant in my life. This space is one of your marks on God’s mostly green earth. That and the amazing relationship you have with your daughter. I’m highkey jealous of Tamms!Happy birthday Biko!

  104. Happy belated birthday Biko. Thank you for your articles. I always read with another tab on the side for looking up meanings of vocabularies.

  105. Vipi Biko,
    avid reader here, your take on being in your late 20s and being ambitious?
    Also, i think i know a guy who you would love to interview.

  106. Seems like I will have to wait for 50 at 50, anyhu happiest birthday Man Zulu (now that people are getting awards for nicknames). My take home, ‘there is what you do and who you are’. Thanks Biko for the insights, on your shoulders I stand.

  107. Happy belated birthday!

    Plantains make a mark on the earth every day!

    Also, #12 keeps me awake a lot (I’m a year older than you). So as a part (b) to what Francis asked you, apart from writing, what else can you/would you/ will you do with your life for the next 45?

  108. happy birthday, Biko. kindly speak to your rosemary even at its deathbed there is still hope for tomorrow and for sure we know that.

  109. Happy 45th…I have followed this blog for a long time now. I think its become more serious over time or maybe age has reduced your funny bones. One the most hilarious pieces you ever did was about prostrate cancer so I thought this was in relation. Must have been titled “Clean boxers or white boxers”, guys read it before you stone me

    1
  110. Happy Birthday Biko! I feel like through your writing……tunajauna!

    Been to Pinkman Lake and had the exact experience you described in Number 8! We can truly be anything we want!

    Keep us reading and thank you for your craft with words I always smile!

  111. Happy birthday! Always look forward to your articles. Approaching the big 45 too and anxious as a sheep in a fox pen!…

  112. Happy birthday from your fan in Mbale, Uganda, It’s been a ride.

    Question: When are we hearing Mama Kim’s side of things? Anything.

  113. Great story Biko,thank you.Happy Birthday…go do something crazy.About the rosemary…plant it on the ground not a container,water it twice morning&evening.Lemongrass do the same.Enjoy your day.

  114. Happy Belated Earthday Biko. Numero 6……..what did Dorah do to you?……a plantain is valuable and leaves a mark in life….it nourishes and sates whole populations…..cheers and welcome to forte-faeee!!!

  115. Happy birthday Biko. Of late I have realised every approaching birthday is a challenge on what one should have achieved but not yet. A few years ago, I was introduced to your blog by a certain lovely lady, I guess she might not understand the magnitude of what she did. I have no words either, but I found a treasure here.

  116. “We mature with damage” and “Eeryone is broken”.

    We are agemates and I have a 13 year old daughter that i enjoy our conversations. These kids love hoods esp oversized hoods even with Texas blazing heat. Sometimes i narrate your stories to her which we find humorous but other times the humor is lost in translation. Grooming younger fans already 🙂
    I appreciate your articles as it reminds me of home and when i’m bogged down from from writing my book, i get inspired reading your stories.
    There is something beautiful about being reborn in your 40’s as a dad. You realize howmuch time you wasted on nonesense and alot of things stop bothering you.

    Stay blessed and wish you love and health.

    Thanks

  117. Happy happy birthday Biko.
    But si one day you bless us with a full picture of yourself? (even half) ,those of us who’ve never seen you.
    For we need to link the face to the writer.
    Cheers!

  118. It’s my 45th too. Like you I have a girl and a boy, not sure which one will give me grand kids!
    I’d like to sit and chat but gotta run for that PSA

  119. Happy birthday Biko. Its been 12 years already? Wow, seems just like yesterday. Number 12 got me because my plants are dying.

  120. happy burthday Biko…i would love to meet Francis Macharia i have been looking for a deeper meaning in life and such people seem just about right…does he have any specific place one would meet him

  121. Happiest birthday Biko, no one catches the picture of my home land like you do,you have been a great company here in doha in the last I think 10yrs, cheers bro!

  122. I can’t believe I missed your birthday because I hadn’t paid my WiFi to read this on time but….here I am boldly, 7 days after, wishing you a belated happy birthday! To more reads sir.

    1
  123. Biko, do you sometimes fantasize on experience you might have had when you read a book or watch a movie? Happens a lot in 30s, am early 30s and that makes me question my goals that I set. How about you you sir?

    1
  124. Happy Birthday Biko. This was a nice read. It’s my first time here and I’m happy. Looking forward to more. Cheers!

  125. Hey there. I’m using BikoZulu…

    Lol

    Someone recommended that I read this particular blog post and am glad I did. Prior to this I’d only ever read one of your articles sometime mid-2022 and I loved it, although the associated story itself was quite the sad one. I love how you tell stories, that there is a Kenyan undertone to your words, a very special kind of articulation indeed.

    Myself am a struggling creative looking to put even more effort and resources into my writing beginning early next year, as soon as I’m done with my main exams. At that appointed timeqI hope to interact more with your works Biko, perhaps even you as a person. The main man behind that skilled pen.

    Til then be well & keep writing!
    Nikija nipate kazi ya ziada nyingi mno lol

    Oh and uh, happy 45 my G! Life begins at 40, no?
    So they said. Or I heard wrong. Wolefa mehn. Sisi hapa ndio kusema.

  126. It usually doesn’t matter how long it takes me to catch up with these reads, thanks to email delivery, I don’t miss a single one. Too late to ask any Qtns, but again, thanks for the thing about Fundis. You need grace, patience, and double your budgeted amount to deal with those ones

  127. What an amazing read, everything about life and love parked into one. I can relate because as a man in their early forties, the stories are so much home. The PSA test I must take sooner than later, the idea that one can do more than one thing at the same time, the joy of not living according to the book and the knowledge to know that may be God is preparing me for a bigger calling. Thank for making it realreal and happy birthday.

  128. You raise very good points today. First, you don’t even have a fanny to pull notes from. Second. Boobs is what kids are hiding, you know, still getting used to the jiggles and attention and everything…he..he. And look at you mourning a tree, you’ve grown soft. Soft is alright ha.ha

  129. This is one of them,the article I go to at times like these when sleep alludes me. Going to the mattresses is another and others I can’t recall their titles. I wish I was half the writer you are. Thanks for the tales,they truly are something to write home about.