Little Hope

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“I don’t want a child who looks like that.” That’s what he told Rose when he first saw their infant baby, born with a cleft lip. He had come to visit the new mother and baby after all the generic messages of ‘baby and mother are fine’ had been sent and visitors bearing fruits and prayers had come to coo at the baby. The only seat in the room expectantly awaited him, but he ignored it. He had loomed over them, the baby sleeping silently in the crook of her left arm, and said nothing. He had just walked in yet it looked like he was about to leave. A pit-stop. He was carrying a folded newspaper. After staring hard at their baby he asked, “Why is her mouth like that? Was she born like that?” 

She wanted to tell him, No, the doctors and I just decided to disfigure her little face a little, you know, for a little fun. Instead she said, “She’s called Hope.” She had named her after the character in Days of Our Lives. She liked the name Hope and now, even with her cleft lip, she looked like she would not be anything but a Hope. It fit her like a glove. He glared at her, accusatory, as if she knew the baby had a cleft lip before she was born and she chose not to tell him. He seemed to wonder, why name a child with a mouth like that Hope? His eyes fell on the cards standing on the bedside stool, next to the bottle of mineral water and a two-day-old bouquet of rose flowers. “So what happens now?” He asked. She let that question fill with its own water of silence then, while looking at Hope’s pale pink cheeks, said, “now we raise her and we love her.” 

He sighed heavily. 

He wanted a perfect baby who could have a perfect smile. A baby who wouldn’t embarrass him with her cleft lip. This, a baby with a mouth like that, wasn’t going to fit in his life. “I don’t want a child who looks like that,” he told Rose. Rose inhaled the poisonous fumes of those cruel words and felt her chest grow with, not anger or disappointment, but love. It was very clear to her at that moment that she would spend her whole life fighting for this baby and it was unfortunate that the first fight was going to be with her father. But it was also the shortest fight, as it turned out because when Rose told him, “‘If you don’t want this baby, then you don’t want me,” he shrugged his heavy squared shoulders, turned on his heel and, without another word, left. He left the windowless room, left the hospital with its flat roof, atop which perched big predatory birds that looked like old men basking, and left her life and the life of this new baby who had the wrong mouth and the right name. For good. 

Hope grew up into a bubbly and confident child. She seemed unconcerned and unaware of her mouth. She brought joy with that mouth as she kicked her legs excitedly in her cot when Rose came to pick her up. She liked the bathing hour, splashing water with her chubby little hands. When she woke up she would stare at light streaming into the window like it was a painting, without seeming to blink. She almost seemed to understand that her name, and she by extension, represented the light. She burped loudly and the sound made her giggle. She was determined to walk faster than most babies would, a dogged determination you would say. As if she couldn’t wait to explore what awaited her outside. Hope was happy when she was a baby, when she was still within the confines of their home where she was accepted and loved immeasurably for who she was. Outside the walls, outside the gate, the world was filled with cruelty, of people who would not see past her cleft mouth. Past the smile that hid behind there. So Rose held her longer, closer, breathed in the scent of her hair more, kissed her cheeks longer, filled her with as much love as she could in the belief that all that abundance of love would act as armour in the outside world. 

Hope liked everything girls liked as she grew older. When she could sit, she sat on the bed as her mom dressed to go to work, watching her closely as she moved about the room. When she could patter around, she helped the mother pick the shoes she would wear to work—Rose was a teacher at St David’s Junior School in Ruai. When she was steadier on her feet, Hope liked to walk about the house in her mother’s shoes as soon as she kicked them off from work. And when she could talk, she talked incessantly. And sang, mostly offkey but a sound that would stick on the walls, on the sheets, on the utensils and in their hearts like a beautiful stain of love. She was inquisitive, the type of kid who would ask grownups, “But where does the moon go every morning?” One day Rose heard about the doctors in Kijabe Mission hospital that gave children like Hope a smile. She was overjoyed. She started taking time off to go all the way to Kijabe to see the doctors. She took several matatus to make the appointments with the doctors. She waited for hours in the benches of the hospital with other mothers with their babies on their laps. Eventually, Hope had surgery and then Hope had a smile and when Hope smiled, she smiled like she had not just been given a smile but she had been smiling all along, only nobody possessed the vision to see it. Hers was a special kind of smile. 

What can Rose tell us about being a single parent? Being a teacher, with a baby. Living alone, taking care of her baby, going to school to teach and inspire and then back home to love and guide and then going to bed with the heavy thoughts single mothers take to their beds: will my child be okay? What happens if I fall and die, which one of my siblings will take my child, and will they love her like I do? I hope I don’t fall and die now. I hope I live longer, I hope I get to see my baby grown, doing things she loves, doing brave things I couldn’t do, like maybe skydiving, or travelling alone, just her and her passport, going through strange airports in strange cities and calling me from strange hotels where the little lady in the lifts says, ‘going up,’ in a strange language and when she asks, ‘Hope what language is that?’ She says Macedonian, mum. She thinks about her own love life, how she has left it to wilt in the jar of love, never watering it and now it resembles more of a dried weed than a flower. She sighs at how little energy she has for love even though sometimes she’s able to distinctly distinguish between the solitude of her heart and loneliness. She dreams of days she can rest her feet from running around in school, from talking to students, just a whole day when she can lock her door, remove her bra and sleep the whole day without anyone knocking on her door and screaming, “MOM, I CAN’T FIND MY DOLL!” She thinks it is hard to make rent and take the child to school and cloth and feed herself and her baby and have some pennies left to take her to the mall on some Sundays because she likes how big, bright and shiny the mall is. She thinks of ways she can earn money to supplement her income that, like a mirage, never seems to stay in her account for even a day from the moment it checks in at the end of the month. Sometimes when she sleeps and she’s deep into an innocuous dream, she can always seem to hear the sound of the prepaid electricity metre warning her of darkness. 

So she did what any single mother does; she got a side hustle.   

“I started selling clothes to my fellow teachers,” Rose told me over the phone recently. It was a Sunday and we were doing a phone interview because she lives out of town. She’d travel to Kampala on a night bus full of traders in their puffed jackets and headgear for the cold, get there in the morning and spend the whole day shopping for clothes in Kampala’s bustling downtown, get on the night bus and haul ass back to Nairobi, sell stuff, follow on payments, after a couple of months selling off the stock, head back to Kampala. “It’s not easy, all the travelling but you have to do it to stay afloat.”

Last year she took a week off work and went to Kampala for her usual hustle. Five days in hectic downtown Kampala, looking at hundreds of shoes and dresses and blouses, listening to Ugandans call clothes clodhez and not feeling anything, realising she has grown as a human. On her way back she stopped to spend the night at her cousin’s who lived in Maseno University. At 7am she got into an EasyCoach and by 6pm they were pulling into the station in Nairobi. She was bone tired. She had left Hope with her mom who lived in Mitaboni, Machakos, so she got into a Nissan at about 7pm. She sat on the seat right behind the conductor. Her phone battery was at 23% and Hope was busting her phone constantly.. Mom, where are you now? Mom, how far are you? Mom, did you get me clothes? Mom, what clothes did you get me? Mom, did you also buy me snacks? Mom, you said you bought me how many shoes? Mom, where are you? Mom, are you almost near? 

She arrived in darkness, at about 8:30pm. Her mother’s house loomed against the pale sky. Their house has two gates; the upper and lower gates. Her 14-year-old nephew came to open the lower gate. They hugged. At the door she placed her bag on the floor and removed her shoes. Her feet sighed. The TV was on, the blue light from it dancing on the orange wall. She could see her mom in the kitchen from the doorway. She was standing over the stove, she turned to say hello as her niece ran into her for a hug. She looked around and asked her where Hope was and she said she might be in the bedroom. Earlier she had been hiding behind the seats to be the first person to surprise the mom as soon as she walked in. She was excited, constantly jumping at any sound outside thinking that her mom had finally arrived. Rose called out her name again. ‘”Mom, where is Hope?” She asked her mom and she said she must be somewhere in the house. 

“Suddenly I felt my skin grow very cold and my skin got these goosebumps,” she says. “It was very strange, a feeling I had never experienced before in my life. I just became so cold. Then I screamed.” She started running around the house, looking for Hope. She went straight to the bedroom she shared with her and looked around, Hope wasn’t there. She looked under the bed in case she was playing a prank and she saw their dog Tiny Dog, who they just call TD, whimpering under the bed. He was trembling. She went to the four bedrooms, opening doors, shouting Hope’s name, opening closets, the bathroom, the toilet.

She screamed when she realised her daughter wasn’t in the house. Her mother had switched off the gas cooker and was trying to calm her down. She was breathing hard, her eyes frantic. She picked a torch on her way out the door and stepped into the darkness. Her first stop was the toilet at the back. She walked fast, barefoot, barely feeling the pebbles and sticks under her sole. She opened the toilet door and threw a beam of light in there. Nothing. She checked the outside bathroom behind, no sign of Hope. 

“Suddenly I heard a voice.” She says. “I know this sounds strange but I heard the voice tell me to run to the other gate. I wasn’t scared of this voice. I just trusted it. So I ran towards the other gate. Suddenly my path was illuminated by this light, like a straight light, like it was showing me the path because it was very dark. I followed it to the gate. When I approached it I saw my baby. She was asleep, lying facing down. I stopped and called her name, again and again, Hope, Hope, Hope…she wasn’t moving. My first thought was, my baby has been bitten by a snake. I ran to her and turned her on her back. She was heavy, I remember. Abnormally heavy. I remember thinking, why is she so heavy? When she turned on her back she had no face. I started screaming.”

Hope’s skin had been ripped from her face, her scalp torn off. She had no hair. Her ears were mauled off. Her eyes gouged out. Her head was like a red ball. She was unrecognisable. She wasn’t Hope, just a redhead with Hope’s clothes. “When I lifted her, her head slumped on the side like she didn’t possess a neck.” Her neck was broken. She had two neat red holes on the side of her neck. “I sat down on the ground with her, holding her in my arms like I did the day she was born. I was screaming now like a mad woman, like really screaming and crying. I looked up and saw against the fence a set of eyes looking back at me, very bright eyes, like bright torches.”

Leopards. 

Probably a mother and cubs. Probably.

Her memory fades here. She vaguely remembers her mom showing up in the darkness, her own torch in her hand, and upon seeing Hope, screaming and then the torch falling from her hand. She remembers lying down on the ground while holding her baby, like they were sleeping together, and screaming her name to wake up. She remembers neighbours showing up, many of them, a small crowd, and then seeing her and her baby and stepping back in fright. She remembers their screams. She remembers the pain in her heart, unimaginable pain, an abnormal pain. She must have been lying there for thirty minutes as everybody stood immobilised by shock. They knew Hope but that girl wearing Hope’s clothes, that girl without a face wasn’t Hope. Surely, it wasn’t her. She remembers her mother forcing her up at some point and holding her and Hope as they made their way back to the house. They were both crying uncontrollably, calling out Hope’s name. 

She placed Hope carefully on their bed, on her side. People gathered outside the bedroom window to witness the unimaginable. There were droplets of blood on Hope’s blouse. She wore jeans. She lay next to her, her legs folded. Her mom stood over the bed, crying. She remembers blood coming out of her mother’s nose. She remembers thinking, why is blood coming out of my mom’s nose? [Turns out her blood pressure spiked during that event]. She prayed as she lay down next to Hope, rubbing her hands against her spindly arms. “I thought that maybe if I prayed for her she would wake up. Maybe if I prayed for her, she would be all fine because aren’t we told to constantly pray for our children? Doesn’t prayer protect our children from harm? Isn’t God supposed to protect my baby?” 

The room filled with people, debating, asking her to let them take Hope away. But she was holding Hope in bed. Nobody was going to take away her Hope. She was going mad in her head, screaming. Her mother was crying uncontrollably. Everybody seems to be either crying or covering their mouths in horror. People jostled outside the window to witness her macabre, her greatest heartbreak, her very death. Someone broke the bedroom window. 

Their pastor showed up. This man of God. This bastion of strength and hope. When he saw Hope, he crumpled to the floor like a long trench coat falling from a hanger. He held his knees and wept silently in his hands. He no longer had scripture to lean on, a verse to utter, all prayer dried on his lips and suddenly he was just human; shocked, pained, fearful. He had never seen anything like this before. ‘I don’t know how long I was laying there with Hope.” Hope says. “I lost track of time or even of life. It was like I was in a dream, a dream that wasn’t even mine. A nightmare that I would wake up from but I wasn’t waking up.” 

At about 11pm or so, uniforms showed up. The law. The Government Of Kenya; cops and KWS rangers. They had guns. They had hats on. They pushed their way through the people in the room and stood over the bed. They were men accustomed to seeing death, handling dead bodies, but they were also fathers and mothers and humans and they stood their speechless for a moment before the stronger of them said politely to Rose’s mother that they had to take Hope away. They said now Hope was in the government’s hands. “ I started fighting them,” Rose says. “Hope didn’t belong to the government, she belonged to me. I didn’t want them to hold her with the same hands they hold guns with. Hands that they hold criminals and animals with. This was my baby and she was precious.” She was hanging onto Hope and they were trying to get her to let her go politely. They were politely urging her that this wasn’t healthy. “Mama, tafadhali…tupe mtoto, tafadhali. Mama, tafadhali.” They gently pried Hope off her. “I followed Hope to where they were taking her. She was still my baby.”

She followed Hope to the morgue. It was dark. The darkest night there ever will be because Hope had gone with all the light in the world. “I’m being told how I was behaving now, but I don’t remember. I’m told that I was removing my clothes, walking naked. That I was pulling my hair out. But what I remember while at the morgue was that I was peeing on myself. I couldn’t stop. Every so often I would feel hot urine pass down my leg. My therapist told me that it was fear, or shock. I also lost all memory of people, I couldn’t remember faces or names. I had lost myself. My mind. Lost everything that mattered. I wasn’t eating. I wasn’t showering. I was crying constantly. People from the hospital would come and try to give me the drip…I didn’t want a drip, I wanted Hope and if I couldn’t get Hope back then I wanted to die….[long pause]…Can we stop now?…Please?”

I said of course. I asked if there was someone I could talk to and she called her cousin Virginia who came to the phone. Virginia fills the gaps for me with more clarity. Gaps Rose doesn’t remember. Her voice shakes a few times, contorted by grief. She tells me of Rose beating herself with sticks. Stuffing Hope’s clothes in her bra. “She would lie on the spot she found Hope in, just crying, or sleeping. In the middle of the night she would start screaming and run to that spot and just lie there on the ground, in the cold of the night. Nobody could calm her down. Nobody. Not even the mother. She would be calm for a moment and then start screaming, asking her mom and her little nephews and nieces what they were doing when Hope was being killed. Where were you? WHERE WERE YOU?” 

Men of God came to visit her, to pray for her. She stared at them blankly. She wasn’t there. She wore the same clothes for days. She arranged Hope’s photos on the bed. All of them. She would put Hope’s doll on the bed and cover it with a shawl like it was a living thing. She would talk to the doll. She would scream that she needed the KWS guys to bring that leopard to her when they found it and she would kill it with her bare hands. She would rip off its head. With her hands. 

She visited the morgue daily. She carried Hope’s clothes to the morgue and demanded for her to dress her up. She carried her favourite dresses. Her shoes. She carried a comb for Hope’s hair even though she had none after the ghastly attack. She kissed her whole body until the morgue attendant stepped in and said, “Please, you can’t, mama. She has been treated. It’s harmful to you.” She put her baby’s stiff hands around her, as if in a hug. She talked to her; mumbling things. Telling her she’s sorry she didn’t get home fast enough to save her. “I’m sorry, my baby, I’m so sorry mama wasn’t there.” At night she would insist on going to the morgue because Hope was all alone, with nobody to sleep with her. “We can’t be here in this warm house and Hope is alone in darkness. Let’s go get her. She needs a blanket.” 

There is nothing like a small coffin. 

A baby’s coffin. 

It’s like trying to fit a lot of love in a small box that doesn’t fit.  The smaller the coffin, it seems, the greater pain it bears. Babies don’t belong in coffins. Hope was buried last year in a small coffin at only eight years of age. She’d be turning nine this year. She’d have blown candles on a cake. Her family would have sung for her. She would have smiled that beautiful smile of hers. As the pastor prayed during the burial session, Rose— shaved bald now, breathless and ruined with loss – raised one weak and desperate hand and begged. “Please, don’t bury my baby. She will wake up again. Don’t bury my baby.” Poor beloved Hope, buried without a face. 

Virginia says that for days after Hope was buried, Rose would sit by the grave, head bent, mouth moving. Sometimes, on the rare occasion that she ate, she had her meals by the grave. She picked wildflowers and placed them on graves everyday. At night she kept the window to her bedroom open because, “Hope might wake up and when she does, I want to be able to see her walk to me. We shouldn’t lock her out.”

The days after the burial were nothing short of gutting. She was in real and unimaginable pain, the kind of pain you’d feel vibrating like an energy when you stood next to her. She tried harming herself with a knife, Virginia says. “One time she poured insecticides in a glass but then she was so weak she slept before she could drink it. When she woke up she said she had dreamt that Hope had told her not to harm herself.” She had moments of great meltdown. She slept a lot and looked disappointed when she woke up to find that she was without her only child. Her mother held her. Prayed constantly. 

When I got off the phone with Rose and Virginia, I felt my soul had suddenly shrunk. I felt pain. I felt fear. I thought of my son Kim, the same age as Hope, and I couldn’t imagine horror like that befalling him. I wondered how Rose was still waking up, where she could even get that strength. I sat on the balcony feeling numb and exhausted and scared. I wondered how I could even start writing Hope’s storm, without seeming to exploit the macabreness of the story. I thought of backing out of it, to avoid immortalising the brutality of this little girl’s death. How do you honour a little girl who dies in that gruesome way?  I thought of Bradley, the boy I wrote about who was run over by a school bus in Nyayo estate. I felt old inside. 

I was holding it together just fine until Rose WhatsApped me photos and videos of Hope. I wept. I held my head in my hands and really wept. The only other person I have ever wept for like this is my late mom. This is easily the worst story I have written, the very worst. And I’m done writing about dead children. I’m done. 

Rose hasn’t gone back to teaching. To teach other people’s children, to hear them laugh and unpack the snacks packed by their mothers. She quit her job. She didn’t know how to reintroduce herself back into society without her baby. A functioning society where people wake up and have plans for the day, where people choose shoes to wear, where people laugh and add sugar in their tea. She hasn’t been able to fathom how life is moving on without Hope. No second passes without her thinking about her. She misses her so much it’s unimaginable. “I will always be her mother. I pray for her daily. I pray that God blesses me again with a girl who looks exactly like Hope. I will never stop loving Hope. My best friend, my only child.”

Pray for little Hope to find peace as she rests and for Rose to find strength and healing. 

***

Also, the family is still waiting for compensation from KWS. If anybody who is in power and has any influence is reading this and can help, it will go a long way. 

 

 

 

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476 Comments
      1. Many a times, most have been left with foot in mouth, for rushing to post without reading. Forgive them, they don’t know better.

        @Biko, a lag period of 5 – 10 minutes between when an article is posted and when the first comment can be made is necessary.

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      2. No one can recognize a sunrise that will end in tears. No one dresses in a suit or the best perfume to await sad news in the course of the day. If Rose knew what would befall Hope, she would have ‘erased’ the day from this life. So is humanity on many other fronts. We can’t live our lives backwards. Even on the saddest of days and the most painful of stories, we will be here.
        Rose will rise. She will find the strength to face every sunrise with HOPE each morning, regardless of the frozen surprise such warm sunrays could be hiding from her. Shalom.

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        1. We need to agree that this first to comment thing is pointless and utterly stupid regardless of how many words you use to justify it. It’s really as simple as that, Wango.

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        2. Not sure what got me first, your profile photo with that wry, devious smile complete with those crooked, protruding front teeth, or the sheer callousness of your asinine comment in the face of a tragedy of this magnitude.. you don’t even have the decency to apologize.. you are a filthy, disgusting, sorry excuse of a human being.. am done

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      3. Truly, stupidity is not a confine of our politicians only
        When the log of men is administered, please sit this one out! *sigh*

        May baby Hope’s spirit find eternal rest and the depths of God’s grace engulf her mother’s soul.

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    1. I’ve always had an issue with these thoughtless idiots who scream ‘first ‘. So what do you get for being the first one ? A trophy ? Money ? Peleka ujinga yako ne huko !!!!

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    2. F9r goodness sakes!!!! Did you actually read the story? Who the fuck cares? And how old are you all first commenters anyway..

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    1. Sigh! sooo sad. couldn’t finish reading. Have to do it in phases. May our Good Lord give Rose a lot of healing.

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  1. Maann, I’m literally in tears. This is the saddest story I’ve ever read, and to imagine this is someone’s reality, daamn!!
    I pray for comfort and peace for Rose, it’s ineffable what she’s gone through, this has to be the worst pain anyone would experience.
    R.I.P. Hope.

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    1. this is painful, for a moment i felt my stomach sink and out of place, the pain of losing a child is imaginable. May Rose one day find the grace to heal and God bless her with double blessing who look exactly like hope

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  2. Oh God! What a sad story. I have an 8yr old girl & i was reading i envisioned how i would handle this kind of an occurrence. Grief engulfed me & my eyes watered.
    How do you even comfort this mom. Words would sound hollow & meaningless. May that young soul rest in eternal peace

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  3. Heart wrenching.

    Our tears run down the streets today, compassionately to comfort you Rose.

    Our hearts are heavy, and our mouths have run dry unable to utter any words of solace, for there can be none.

    We grieve with you Rose, for the loss of your little girl, Hope.

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  4. Heartbreaking…Thank you for immortalizing her life so vividly. At least she was fully loved before her very untimely death. As for Rose, may Gods mighty power comform her and wipe her tears away

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  5. Wah! That was tough to read. May Hope’s Soul Rest In Peace and May Rose find comfort and the strength to live.

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  6. Nothing can or will ever be said to bring you any comfort Rose, all we can do is pray for you and your Fam and for Little Hope to rest peacefully. My sincerest condolences.

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  7. To say am terribly gutted is an understatement, ooo my God reveal to us everyday why some things happen the way they do.

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  8. My God.

    Sigh.

    You know when I saw the email notification for today’s post I was smiling wide cos it came early. Now that smile has been wiped off my face.

    I have so much to say and nothing at the same time.

    Rose, I don’t know what I can say to comfort you. May you find the strength to heal.

    Reading this post, I couldn’t help but question God. Why little Hope? After all the struggle her mom went through raising her? All by herself?

    Today’s a sad day.

    Thanks for finding the courage to write this post Biko.

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  9. My prayers goes out to Rose. To all who have had to bury their babies in small coffins. May God keep our children safe. Danger is all around us.

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  10. Hope with a cleft lip lives on in many ways , You do not have to look far . Hope is in every child out there that needs care, those that we often brush off as urchins or the undeserving, underprivileged or abnormal in our eyes . Hope lives on, in every parent that is with a child with special needs . Hope is in our choices, when the unexpected suddenly without warning shows up and holds us in a tight embrace . I have mourned hope many times through my reading of her story and I am sure of one thing- Hope like her name, is not forgotten and will never fade from our memories. In her short yet full life she has taught us that it ok to be unlike the rest . My sympathies go out to mama Hope with a Cleft lip , yet her loss is a loss to us all . You cannot read this and be the same . May we all find the courage to to always see hope in every being we might not find as deserving and as endowed and as entitled as us . May mama Hope finally find that peace . Amen

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  11. Daaaaaamn such a sad story …..read it with tears welling in my eyes! The pain you feel imagining if this happened to your kid and you understand why Hopes monther could not go on teaching. Reminds me of the song Ghost of you by Justin Bieber! Losing a child is cruel most cruel pain ever!

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  12. Oh my goodness. My heart bleeds for Rose. For Hope’s family and friends.
    To lose a child is unfathomable.
    To lose one’s heartbeat as Rose has, is just, incomprehensible.
    May Hope’s spirit strengthen Rose to live and continue honoring her incredible angel.

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  13. I have cried so much. My heart is heavy. I am so sorry mama Hope. I wish i could so something other than say sorry

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  14. Oh dear .. I have shed tears…for Hope. Many questions. How could God allow such to happen? The Pain.

    There is Hope for Rose. May her heart be filled with hope and faith of a better brighter tommorrow. And I pray that she gets healing and she is blessed to give Hope other siblings…

    Rose, you are a great mom. You did your all. When moments becomes memories…we can only hope time gives us fresh perspectives. Healing perhaps some day.

    Of Cleft lips…had one. My parents didn’t know what to do. One day in form one…I heard of an operation smile camp in Getrudes. Walked in alone…they didn’t want to treat me without a guardian. I insisted ….they gave in. I got my perfect smile back. I took myself for initiation too. Interesting.

    Sending many Roses and Candles for Rose in loving memory of Hope.

    Hope…Faith and Love remain.

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  15. I have wept Biko ….like a tiny baby in the office. My heart breaks for Rose. May God grant her a new beginning, another chance at life, the peace she deserves, and A NEW HOPE. The last part got me angry, one year down the line and the family has not been compensated ??

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  16. This is such a sad ending. My heart goes out to the mother and her entire family, I just hope that they find peace and that no one person is blamed for this unfortunate event.
    Curiously though, did the dead beat ever show up and console the mother? That would have been a healing move by him.
    May she manage to attend all her therapy sessions and find healing eventually.
    Hugs

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  17. This is very painful…as a single mother, i can imagine the pain..May God fill that void, Only God can heal her.

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  18. Oh Lord the tears I have openly shed…may mama hope and family find peace in their hearts…this was such a painful read…

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  19. This is a gut wrenching tale. I have never felt such sadness or feeling of loss. Do you have a paybill or a number we can contribute to the poor mum..after all she is not working anymore.

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  20. I cried reading this..as a mother I can’t imagine the pain Rose is going through. Hugs mama.i pray that you get the strength to go through this loss..and may little Hope find lay in eternal peace. ..
    Pole mama

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  21. I cried reading this..as a mother I can’t imagine the pain Rose is going through. Hugs mama.i pray that you get the strength to go through this loss..and may little Hope lay in eternal peace. ..
    Pole mama

  22. Oo Yahweh, give Rose the hope to trust again, to live long and most of all, i pray for restoration. Biko i agree with you, please don’t write about children like this, it’s too sad. Well written though. Hugs Biko- this must have been very difficult to listen to and most of all to write about.

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    1. I was about to prpose a criminal sentence for anyone articulating grief so graphically, but am also torn between the need to be matured emotionally as this grief has just done for me .

      Considering the unpredictability and fickleness of life is the one dose of reality check every adult needs to stay sober and humble.

      Next time issue a disclaimer so that we find a comfortable seat in the right environment.

      I have never grieved as I have, neither have I felt so much compassion for someone I have never met

      May God’s hand of Mercy rest upon you Rose.

      Rest in peace Baby Hope!

  23. I have cried, weuh. Hot sobs in the office. Tears are still streaming. How can life be so cruel? I have empathised so much with her, i have imagined loosing my carefree spirited daughter and i wailed. No, life is so unfair. May she find peace and as she aptly named her child, hope, let her hang onto it and her. LOVE AND LIGHT from one mother to another.

    7
  24. It’s a dark Tuesday. I can’t help but feel sorry for Rose. She’s gone through a lot. I’m not even sure using some religious lines to comfort her will do it. May she find peace.

    3
    1. Oh, I have wept! As a father of a precocious 6-year-old and a 13-year-old who believes she’s 20, I can relate, I feel this unbearable weight for Rose and her little Hope.

      I would be glad to contribute thru a paybill to Rose’s welfare.
      Sam.

      7
  25. I was not comfortable reading about that journey to Machakos. There was something eerie about it. Rest in eternal peace little Hope

    3
  26. This is so painful for a mom. God will always comfort you Rose, He is in the same place He was when His son agonized yet he took no action. He is not indifferent, He is touched by your pain. He will heal you completely Mommy

    2
  27. I agree with you Biko, this is the saddest story you have ever written.
    Please stick to not writing about dead children.
    Rose; may you find healing.. pole sana.

    2
  28. Gutted. There’s a lump in my throat. Words can’t express how sad I am for my fellow parent. No mother should bury her child. I hope Rose gets some form of grief counselling. The pain she has endured is too much for one soul to bear.

    4
  29. Whoa! This just penetrated my emotional fabric like a hot knife on butter
    Rose, my prayers are with you✌ May You Find Strength to fight this off

    1
  30. The pain and sadness is very raw.When you lose someone you love,that pain never leaves.Not even time can heal that wound..
    Hope,Rest in Eternal Peace baby.

  31. May her innocent gentle soul rest in eternal peace. A very sad story and makes us wonder why such pain is allowed in the world.

    1
  32. Sooo painful,…may God comfort Rose and her family,may He restore Hope in their hearts,after loosing my son at 3yrs too,my world crashed,…but it is in my darkest days that I realized the higher power above us,may the same power find you Rose,…Hope still lives within us..

    5
  33. This has to be the most painful and heartbreaking read i’ve read here……when you say you’re done with writing about dead children, I fully understand. And to Rose one step at a time; I really pray you get peace and heal.

  34. I stopped reading your stories because in most cases I was crying in love and sadness. Now I come back and start with this one. All along I prayed it was just a story. Tears rolling . I pray for Rose to gather herself.

    2
  35. This is tears drenching story.. My God!! … Reminds me of last year on the early morning of 20th April when my wife took her last breath after battling breast cancer for 3yrs.. The Pain is Sooo deep and sooo personal it hurts the core part of the heart… I pray for Rose to continue taking a day at a time and pray for that she gets peace straight from God during the heal process . May Hope’s little soul rest eternally with the angels.

    8
  36. Sitted here trying to explain to the people who call clothes clodhez why am crying… May God give Rose peace and more grace to move on. It’s not easy to lose a child or anyone.

    1
  37. For a moment after reading this story when I turned to look at my phone the fonts looked bold than normal. The sad story of HOPE. I pray Rose finds another reason to have HOPE.

    2
  38. Ghai ! I have cried reading this story. Oooh God have mercy on Rose. Ooooh no. This has really broken me. May the family get justice. Woiiiie aki.

    1
  39. The loss is imaginable, I Pray for Rose to find the strengthen and courage to face each new day .And when she remembers Hope i pray she has good memories of the time they spent together and the memories will make her smile again. IT SHALL BE WELL.

    1
  40. I don’t know what I feel right now sometimes you wish God was visible or atleast send a sign..This God please see her through,give her strength.

    1
  41. I thought the piece about The Birds that did not sing was sad.

    I’ve shed real tears for this one.

    May the good Lord comfort Rose and my little Hope continue enjoying milk and honey as she dances with the angels in heaven.

    5
    1. I thought that was the saddest story Biko ever wrote too…then today it got way worse…having to bury your kid is every parent’s worst nightmare. I hope and pray Rose finds her way to healing….and that Hope rests in eternal peace.

  42. May peace of the Lord Jesus Christ that surpasses human understanding descend upon you Rose,so so sorry for your loss.Rest with the angels,Hope.

  43. This is by far the saddest story I have ever read. My heart reaches out to her.
    Biko, if Rose wishes to legally pursue her claim against KWS, kindly ask her to drop us an email on [email protected] and we will take it up on her behalf, for free, on pro bono basis.

    40
  44. No words will ever be enough to comfort you Rose. This is utterly heartbreaking. May God comfort you and give you peace only He can.
    May little Hope continue resting in peace.
    Hugs mama!

    3
  45. This is the saddest thing I have read today. My daughter recently turned 1 and 1/2 and I cant imagine life without her. In 2021 we buried a friends son he died at 9 months and I have never cried like I did.
    He was born the same day as my daughter and his death hurts me to date.
    I pray that God heals Hope’s mum and that the little girls finds peace.

    1
  46. This is the most painful and heartbreaking story I’ve ever read. May Rose find peace.
    RIP little Hope.

    1
  47. Ooh Lord.
    I dont have words to say.
    Hope, rest and smile with the angels baby girl. Your mom misses you so much. Till we meet again.

  48. I have bawled my eyes out.
    This is the most gut wrenching story I’ve ever read. Jesus. I don’t know what to say…
    Do I pray for her? But why would this same God take away Hope??
    Nothing is sufficient. No words. No actions. Nothing.
    My heart aches. Like really aches.
    Eh. Sina nguvu at all.

    2
  49. Am a mother of a cleft lip and palate baby. I know the struggles of going to hospital (kijabe) for check ups and surgery (the struggle is real). Have cried and am touched by Hopes story. May the mom find peace in the Lord coz the pain she’s going through is unimaginable.

    1
  50. Stories like this have you questioning the reason for our very existence, our world looks without order, how do you tell a mother like this that there is a reason for all that happens? What sane reason is there for this? We can argue human-wildlife conflict but why did the little girl have to be the sacrificial lamb for this? I know there is a God, but the reason for this act I do not understand, it is too grotesque for comprehension.

    3
  51. Oh my. This is so so hard. What a tragedy! Horrendous for Rose to go through this, so very sorry mama. May the God of comfort, comfort you and your family in the way that only He can. May you find strength in the days and years to come. May Hope rest in the gentle arms of Christ.
    I truly hope that KWS can come through for Rose and grant her compensation.

    There are some things we may never understand. No, not on this side of eternity.
    It makes me think of 1 Corinthians 13:12
    “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.”

    3
  52. And I cried…..lots of tissue, red nose messy face type of crying. I’m a single parent to a ten year old. It’s so heartbreaking. Most of us single parents raise just that one child.you become great friends, huge love bond…..it’s like getting your whole body going through a shredding machine…..that one piece of of your body being yanked out mercilessly….

    4
  53. Such a sombre mood left hanging. May Hope’s soul continue resting rip. Hopefully, we shall meet again.

    1. This is beyond sad. Dear Lord, please comfort Rose and I pray that she may eventually experience peace and comfort. Hugs mama

      1
  54. Oh Lord, am in tears yani for Rose and Hope. May she find strength and may little Hope rest well. Oh God this was a hard read

  55. Couldn’t follow Hope into the morgue. This story has broken my heart ( rather like Tea Obreht’s ‘The Laugh’ did, except that was fiction, and how I WISH, for once, THIS was/ is) …

  56. They say Writing is therapeutic but this had to be horrific. Am sure it took alot out of you Biko. Still, thanks for sharing. We pray for little hope and what little hope her mother was left with. We pray for comfort for all affected especially those who knew her personally, who shared beautiful memories in her short dear life. Let them have that assurance she is staring down with all those little angels that went before their time. God bless.

    1
  57. The smaller the coffin, it seems, the greater pain it bears.

    This story, that of Bradley, THERE WE’RE BIRDS BUT THEY DIDN’T SING and THAT THING IN JADUDI’S HEAD are so painful to read and talk about. The only HOPE is that the beautiful lady and her children are alive. May Hope rest in peace.

    Too painful.

  58. I have shed tears. My Ceri is the same age as Hope. It’s unimaginable what Rose is going through. I kind of hoped it’s the deadbeat dad who had abducted her. That would have been a better alternative to this cruel death.
    Shine on your way Hope.
    May Rose find peace and comfort. Hugs to her.

  59. I am not a parent, not yet at least. I am only an uncle. An uncle to a jolly nephew just about Hope’s age at the time of her demise. I adore this little man with every fibre of my being. I picture his smile whenever he is not around and I immediately set out to pay him a visit.
    Reading the story, picturing it and thinking of such a thing happening to the closest I have to a kid, I just realise how weak I am. The mere thought of it is distasteful. Unbearable. I imagine myself picturing my nephew’s smile and not being able to pay him a visit and my imagination resists.
    My heart goes out to the mother. I cannot feel half her pain. I am unable to stomach that idea of pain, let alone its realization. I can only ask myself; “Life is for the living. But what is it without the ones you lived it with and for?”

    1
  60. Oh dear.

    My heart goes out to Rose. I can only imagine her pain. May God comfort her. I will pray ‘I don’t know how long I was laying there with Hope.” Hope says. for her.
    And yes, I am also done reading about children dying.

    P.S – There might have been a small error here ” ‘I don’t know how long I was laying there with Hope.” Hope says. “I lost track of time or even of life. It was like I was in a dream, a dream that wasn’t even mine.” You probably meant “Rose says”

  61. I’ve not wept like this in a long time. As a mother of daughters,i dont know if I would survive this. My heart has broken into pieces for Hope and her mom Rose.

  62. The little hope we have is that we leave peacefully. It’s not easy to overcome. I’ve Been there.

    1
  63. no parent should outlive their children,it’s just too painful to bear and true to your words there is no smaller coffin. Imagine how Rose’s mum blame herself for not being there for her granddaughter. And yes reading about small dead children is just unfathomable especially when you are a parent too, Bradley’s story touched me more than anything i’ve ever experience,read or heard and here you bring it back afresh. We never heal from such pain but just ask for everyday strength.

  64. I said a prayer for Rose and Little Hope, only God can give you the healing you need, may he walk with you and at the right time, give you another little girl, Rose feel loved and experience the almighty presence in your life and keep the memories of Hope alive. Hugs

  65. Truly heart wrenching. I had to hold back tears and read the story in parts because its too much to bare. I pray for Rose. I sincerely pray she rises from the ashes of her grief. That God comforts her on those times and nights she can’t sleep and tears flow from her. May she learn to smile again. May God give her a reason to see light in her life and may Hope rest in perfect peace. It is not well but we have to accept God’s will.

  66. Biko you had to do this?

    Rose is my neighbor, I was there that wretched night. We badass grown up men cried like little boys.
    When you talked about boarding a Nissan matatu to Mitaboni, I had to stop reading. I’m all sad.
    Hope remains in our hearts.
    May she rest well.
    Never do stories about dead young ones.

    9
  67. Really sad and heart wrenching. Praying for Rose to find Peace and Closure. And for Hope, may her beautiful soul rest in eternal bliss. It shall be well. Shalom.

  68. so sad. No parent deserves to lose a child. There is no name for parents who have lost their children to death. heartbreaking

  69. This is such a painful story. I cannot even begin to understand what Rose is going through, has been going through. I just pray that somehow, she finds peace and a reason to continue living.

  70. I find it so difficult to imagine her pain because it must be so much more than this gut wrenching sorrow reading this story has brought to my very soul. The worst has happened and it’s at such points when we question God and how He can allow this to happen. Yet, it’s only for some of us in Faith that we can lean and believe that some Good has to come after such devestation. It’s a feeling I have that there is so much more for Rose once she passes this initial yet difficult stage of grief. I do hope and pray that grief counseling can be done to enable her to live anew. May God grant you peace and may He help you live a life that Hope would want for you: a peaceful and fruitful life with sunny bright memories of her to light up your days.

    1
  71. This one is dreadfully painful, I am shattered, what. Rose, I pray for you and yours and hopefully you will get to a place of peace in time as you grow around your grief as it never diminishes. Comfort, comfort.

  72. Heartbreaking.
    I have no words to comfort Rose. May she find peace and may Hope rest in eternal peace.

  73. So heart-wrenching! May Rose find the strength to bear and heal from the loss. Praying, like real praying that God grants her another daughter she will love and cherish. I hope KWS will also act with speed to compensate for the loss that will never fill the void left by Hope. Shalom

    1
  74. I totally agree with you, no more writing about dead children, it’s heart-wrenching…I was so thrilled when she found hope through the cleft-lip project and was looking forward to a happily ever after and the man who walked away begging to be part of Hope’s life…..
    I have two boys whom I am raising and yes the ever-present permanent prayer is for God to give me long life to see them grow and accomplish the purpose God created them for….and for many other single parents I am sure.

    2
  75. I have wept, it’s beyond gut wrenching. My heart is broken in places and in ways I can’t explain.

    Ooohhhh Rose I can’t say I even come anywhere close to understanding what you are going through but I pray that May the Lord comfort you, give you peace and send you angels to walk with you. It’s will shine some day, it will!

    1
  76. This is so sad! My son is the same age as Hope and I still can’t begin to imagine what Rose is going through. “I will always be her mother. I pray for her daily” these words are powerful. May God give her the strength to heal and may Hope continue resting in peace.

    1
  77. Ohh my! wishing it was fiction. This is too painful…………. may Hope rest in peace…………..May the Lord see the mother through.

  78. Godspeed to Rose. I can only imagine what she feels. My heart goes out to Rose. No one should loose a child like that. May God give her the strength to carry on. Sad!

  79. No one can feel or explain her pain. The loss is too personal for anyone else to comprehend. My prayer is May God strengthen Rose and remember the fruit of her womb. Open her once more and offer her solace. Its the best we can hope for.
    You will rise again in Jesus name.
    Amen

  80. Oh my GOD, You should have saved Hope. Her mum did everything possible to fight for her life, keep her, and provide for her. I can only imagine what Hope’s Mum is going through. Having a child and being childless in one night. It’s enough to leave you mad and lifeless. Wherever you’re mama Hope, may peace that surpasses human understanding comfort you and reassurance that your angel is in the right hands. May you heal and get enjoy yourself again. Sending you hugs and lots of love, light and Life.

    2
  81. Lord this is sad. I feel so hollow right now. I can’t imagine my little girl going through such a painful death

  82. Biko, I am not reading anymore sad stories yawa!!! Just wept like a baby in a matatu, I’m sure everyone thinks this woman who’s staring into her phone crying her eyes out… I pray that Rose will somehow find peace and will be able stand. She’s a strong girl. Stronger than I could ever be. May our God grant her peace like a river, the kind that surpasses human understanding.

    1
  83. In a perfect world, no parent, I repeat, No Parent, should get to bury their child. But this world is imperfect at best. I remember my brother dying, and my father – the strong man, suddenly almost died from the shock. Death stings, but the death of a child stings even more! May God comfort Rose like only He can

    1
  84. I have no words to describe what I feel in my heart. I am soooo overwhelmed with grief right now. Rest with the angels Hope and peace and comfort to Rose and her family.

  85. This is heart wrenching. May God strengthen you Rose. May his peace comfort you mama. The memory of Hope lives on.

  86. No one can fill the gaps Rose. Just keep on praying to receive peace from above and let Hope RIP with the Angels.

  87. I teared reading this.
    Being a mother it’s not easy kabisa.
    May Rose find strength to face each and everyday.
    Praying for peace of mind

  88. Am a mother and reading this welled up my eyes. I can’t imagine that much pain … May God comfort Rose and bless her with a child if only to restore her Hope…

  89. Oh my, I read this story with my Lianna in mind, same age as Hope, she turns 9 this year, I can’t try to imagine the kind of pain that Rose goes through each waking day, blaming herself for leaving her Hope and not being there to rescue her from this monster known as death, oh death, what have you done? Where is your sympathy, oh death, till when will you rob off people’s hope? Have you no shame? Have you no mercy? Oh death

  90. My oh my……..
    I am broken.
    This is heart wrenching
    This is physical pain This is pain.
    Rose dear, I am so sorry. There is nothing else I can tell you to ease your pain.
    But, there is hope in Christ. There is hope in Christ.
    May your little angel rest with the angels.

    1
  91. I am so sorry Rose. I just wish I could hug you and we cry together. In the beginning I thought that it sounded a bit like my story. How I was left by the father of my child, and how I just couldn’t make ends meet because of what I earned as a P1 teacher under tsc. Quit my job and moved abroad and now my son is with a relative. My gosh! This story makes me shiver! When I think of him, and how helpless I feel sometimes because of the distance. May God wipe your tears Rose. May your Hope be renewed. This is so so sad and heartbreaking. One of those things you’d wish to unread. My goodness

    1
  92. The most painful story I have read.
    My gal 3yrs now born with cleft lip and pallet, repaired at kijabe too..
    She possess the cutest of a smile and a loving heart
    My heart sunk at the sad end to Hopes story.
    May God give her (Rose) strength to soldier on.
    No amount 9f compensation can replace the sweet memories of mother and dota

    1
  93. Shocking, terrifying, utterly heartbreaking. What manner of tears has Rose had to cry? Dear God may you comfort Rose as only You can.

    1
  94. I have wept. As I read the story, all I could do is hold my baby tighter as I weep for Hope, for Rose.

    This is the most painful story I’ve ever heard. Fly with angels our Hope. Rose, may the peace and comfort of God surpass you. God, may you hold Rose.

    1
  95. Most painful story to read…I pray for strength & healing for Rose and her family.May Hope rest in eternal peace ️️.

  96. Wept like I did when I read the story “they were birds but they couldn’t sing”. Painful, Sad, and Terrible. May God comfort mama Hope and her family and may they know healing and peace that surpasses human understanding. Praying for her for God to give them comfort

    1
  97. The loss of a child is the most painful thing a mother can go through, pole sana Rose for your loss. Love and light to you and may God who heals all broken hearts visit you and give you peace

  98. With tears in my eyes and a very heavy hurting heart I can only say I am so sorry Rose. No amount of words can make it better for you.

    May our good Lord see Rose through it all.

  99. May God’s loving and comforting arms cover Rose during this sad phase of her life.Come to think of it,could it be that Hope had gone outside to wait on the mother only to be mauled by the Leopards.How about her screams,does it mean that those in the house didn’t hear her screaming.May God give this family strength…ooh Rose’s Mother could be hurting with guilt feelings.She let down her daughter and granddaughter.Peace,I pray for them.

  100. Too painful. I pray that Hope rests well and that Rose gets the strength and peace she Soo much needs. My heart is in tears.

  101. Maze mi ni big man lakini nimetiririka machozi ghafla ajab.

    I really do hope that Rose will get the strength and love to heal no matter how unimaginable that healing may be.

    Lakini hii life saa zingine ukua aje. Nimejam, niko sad niko confused.

    Mama Hope receive our love and collective hug from Biko’s gang.

    Aah maze Biko wacha tena usiandike story kama hii.

    Aah nimeenda kupiga jug juu nimeskia sijui aje.

  102. I am so done reading about kid’s death. I’m in so much pain right now i can’t even imagine the pain, i love reading so that i can create my own characters but on this one the image of baby Hope can’t go away. I have a baby girl turning 3 in July she gives me HOPE to look forward to another day. Our God who hears our crys may He restores mama Hope hopes and bless her with another Hope. From the beginning i never imagined this story will take that drastic ending. I am in pain. I think between me and madness there’s a very thin line i’ll go mad but there’s God.

    1
  103. I really hoped the story was going to end on another note, when she picked her from the night I hoped she would wake up in the bedroom, I kept hoping that it will not end in the morgue, and I can only weep with Rose, and for Rose for going through that, and pray that Hope keeps watching over her. little ones don’t belong in coffins.

  104. I shed a tear for little Hope. Hugs to Rose. This is so sad.
    A reminder to hug the ones we love a little tighter each day
    To share in love, laughter, moments
    In the end, it’s the memories we have for eternity

    1
  105. Let’s pray for Rose to find something to hope for again. May she find inner peace. Congrats Biko well penned

  106. Cnt control my tears…Hope died a painful death..no parent should bury their Young ones,may Hope R.I.P…Hugs to you Rose..may God keep comforting you

  107. I was unable to finish this. Then felt like I owed Hope and Rose the courage to finish it. I don’t know what to say. I really do not.

  108. -She didn’t know how to reintroduce herself back into society without her baby. A functioning society where people wake up and have plans for the day, where people choose shoes to wear, where people laugh and add sugar in their tea. She hasn’t been able to fathom how life is moving on without Hope.-

    This is the sad fact about life. You want to stop people in the street and tell them, my younger brother and you are just here buying tropicals and eating smokies?

    Thank you for this story, the family now can feel a bit ‘seen’ and not alone to an extent

  109. This is the saddest story that I have read in a long time., I have cried like a baby. The loss of a child can never be easy. I pray that Rose gets healing and strength to carry on in this life even with the grief inside of her. Grief cannot be buried or tacked away, it can only be carried a day at a time.
    Sending lots of love to Rose and her mother.

    1
  110. Mama Hope has to know that she doesn’t deserve this. This is not part of a grand plan, it just one of the costs we pay for being conscious beings; suffering. Eternal rest be granted to the flowers that were plucked before they bloomed. They live forever in our hearts. Hope still lives in her mother’s heart. Even now that her watch has ended she will be remembered. Is someone cutting onions nearby?

  111. My SIL works at a hospital in Mitamboni. She told me this story of a girl who was killed by a leopard in mitamboni, only to come across the story here.

    May Rose find healing and purpose in life again.

    2
  112. I have cried reading about Hope. I remembered my daughters as I read.
    oh God of peace, remember Rose. Our comforter, please comfort Rose.

  113. Am broken I just gave a look at my 8 year old wambo and I sighed…I don’t know if I can survive such an ordeal…. it’s so painful

  114. Rose is my small sister.. That day is still vividly in my mind… My worst day of my life… Hope was my best niece and lovely friend as we joked alot.. She was like my own daughter I use to call her “kamama” I came home from Qatar within 3 days coz my sister Rose was insisting if I don’t go she will commit suicide… It still pains us up to date, just pray for my sister and also my mum it really affected her

    20
    1. Mercy,,, I am so sorry for the horrible ordeal upon your family..sending loads of hugs and prayers to Rose and her mum. They are in my prayers.

  115. I have felt weak in my knees. My heart has raced and not dared to stop through the ordeal. I have never experienced emotion being captured in such a manner that made me break into pieces inside.
    This is totally horrific, even that word itself doesn’t give it the description it deserves.
    I am tormented and hurt beyond belief.

  116. Maybe writing about Hope is needed as it is proof that she lived., That there were little things about her other than how she died, that should be remembered. There are times when you’ve lost a child that no one speaks of that child and it seems that you as the mother or father are not allowed to speak of the child as well, that your grief has an expiration date. Hope lived, she died brutally and it is completely heartbreaking. But we also know she had a wonderful smile, was extremely girly and loved dolls and waking in heels.. little things.. that make us remember her.. may she find rest and may Rose find comfort and peace ️

    As a mother who has lost a child. Don’t stop.

    11
  117. Heartbreaking. Too much suffering for a mother. May Rose find peace in her journey of recovery. May she find jusstice.

  118. Rose, this is one heart wrenching real life story I have read. I couldn’t hold back my tears. May God give you strength to overcome all this and a beautiful baby girl that you desire.
    For Hope,May She Rest In Peace .

  119. Copied from Reddit
    Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

    I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

    As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

    In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

    Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

    Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks

    5
  120. Big hug Rose from a mama who has also lost a child. I promise you that the days will get brighter and Hope will accompany you all the days of your life.
    PS, does anyone have the link to Bradley’s story?

    3
  121. I have cried for hope, this is really heart breaking . May she continue resting in peace,Rose you’ll be in my everyday prayer I hope someday you find some peace

  122. This is heartbreaking and very painful. Rose, God comfort you through this tragedy. Gutted.

  123. No words are enough to comfort you mama hope but I hope God blesses you in his own perfect timing❤️❤️❤️ and light

  124. When i saw the comments, i had decided not to read. Buh here i am, saddened and totally heartbroken. May Rose find comfort and meaning in life again. I dunno how…geeeeez. Tears

  125. Oh my days!! this is so heartbreaking – unimaginable! My heart goes out to Rose and her family… unbelievable… May God have mercy on her

  126. Just when I thought things wouldn’t get worse. I’ve never cried this much over a person I’ve never met. This is so sad. I can’t even attempt to imagine what Rose is going through. May she soon see better days.

    2
  127. A very emotional story it breaks one up.
    May Rose find peace and may God grant her wish and bless her with another angel.
    This issue of commenting ‘First here’ really sucks it should really stop.This aint a competition.

    1
  128. I read this story with so much anxiety and heartacheI am so sorry to Rose and her entire family. I am so sorry. May God give you strength mum, to find your footing again. Your journey is not over, you shall see brighter days ahead. Huuuugs❤️

    1
  129. May you find peace Mama Hope and may she rest in the peace and hope that the family will find solace.

  130. This is very heart wrenching. It is not easy and I pray that God grants Rose the peace and comfort that she needs.

  131. Loosing a child is the messiest thing that coild happen to anyone… Lets show kindness I pray that we who have lost our children get to have the restoration that we desire… And may God keep our resting babies️

    4
  132. So so so heartbreaking. I have cried all the way through. Am so so sorry Rose. May God comfort you

  133. I have just looked at my eight years old daughter and I can’t stop shading tear. May God comfort Rose.

  134. Biko, please stop it, you have promised, please stop at that one. I pray for Rose, I pray again may she find peace, the God of Heavens give her peace insurmountable. Am so sad, I can’t keep up with the flow of tears. Am so sorry to little Hope, such a painful death. Am sorry to Rose, may God heal her soul, body and mind.

  135. The smaller the coffin the heavier it gets. It’s full of unrealized ambitions dreams moments and hope.

    1
  136. What a sorrowful story. I pray that Rose finds strength and peace. Oooh Lord I pray for your illuminating light and rays of Hope unto Rose and her family. Only you God can comfort them and grant them the grace to overcome this pain.
    Ooh Lord this is painful.

    1
  137. I was to attend the Airshow on the 28th of this Month, but when I saw KWS will be there I just cancelled the plans out of respect for Little HOPE. May HOPE rest Easy and Mama find PEACE

    3
  138. One dies a hundred deaths reading this, it is just heartwrenching… unimaginable.. May God comfort you Rose.. i have no words.

    1
  139. I have wept an ocean! I HOPE the mum got some professional counselling or therapist to help…

    If not…. Please share how I can help out
    Why Lord??? I have cried a river for the mother, Rose, the grandmum and the cousins….

    I have rebuked the deadbeat sirer! May be he sent the leopards.

    Biko, one more story like this and I will unfollow you

  140. I wept through this whole story. Probably one of the worst stories I hv read. I hope Rose finds healing and daily strength to just wake up and carry on her day. May God keep Hope resting as the angel she was.

  141. Wah, I am a Mum by association but have felt some semblance of that gut-wrenching pain.
    May Christ’s love, light and strength bring you healing and Hope.

    1
  142. I can’t sleep.,, the pain in my chest is too much. God, Rose is broken, please extend your healing hand and comfort her.

    To Baby Hope; keep smiling upon mommy from up there.

  143. And I wonder sometimes, Why do we have to go through this lengths of PAIN.

    WHY?
    AM GUTTED.
    ROSE MAY GOD GIVE YOU A SIGN AND COMFORT YOU.

    2
  144. I have heard and read about painful experiences but I really felt this pain in my heart and do wish Mama Hope the peace that this world can give. Where do people get such enormous strength to bear such pain and still manage to wake up and go about their duties? This pain is just too much!

    1
  145. This is so sad and unreal, I cannot imagine the pain this mom has to live with every day of her life. May God comfort her in a way no one else can, may He put a smile on her face again, may He bring joy to her and her family and may baby Hope rest peacefully .

  146. BIG HOPE, MASSIVE HOPE, Extraordinary Hope to see light within darkness… Hope that Rose finds Hope in life…..words cant explain the feeling of loss… Rose All the Love from Uganda

    1
  147. This got me teary. I had put it off for tomorrow but something kept pushing me to read it. I hope Rose does find some peace and Hope, rest.

  148. Oh, my! It started beautifully and ended painful. I felt the pain deep in my bones. Pole sana ma’am. May Hope’s soul rest in peace

    1
  149. 2 minutes after Biko posted, I thought myself lucky enough,until I read the article.

    For the better part of the day, I haven’t grasped how,Hope could die such a painful death.
    Why she had to suffer. Why her mum has to go through this pain.
    At some point I thought Hope would wake up,and that we could cheer her as she recuperates,only to have dwindling hopes.
    I pray for the family,may they have HOPE, that all days shall get better,each day at a time.
    May Little Hope illuminate Mama’s world and path. May mama heal. May God come through for this family.
    Sending you love,light and hugs.

    1
  150. This is so so painful!! . May God give Rose the strength to go through it. May the peace of God be her portion even in her mourning.
    Ahh! My heart is broken for her. No parent ever wants to bury their babies. May Hope continue to rest in perfect peace. Amen!

  151. Ei yawa Nyasaye. What is this? Why must life be so cruel? This is so heartbreaking. I cannot, just can’t.

  152. Oh my goodness,
    Okay what an emotional story. Rose, May the good Lord comfort you, give you healing and peace.
    This is by far the most emotional story I have read in a long time.
    Gitonga

  153. And the mystery of pain, grief and suffering lingers still. No justification for it at all. But one assurance for it all – It will be well.
    Reading through this one thought from ‘I Swear By Apollo ‘ book came to mind; kill thou a “man” if you must but never deprive Him of HOPE. For with that you kill him anyway and in a much more cruel way. Peace!

    1
  154. Loosing a child is such a painful experience, but loosing your ONLY child in such a gruesome way! I can’t even imagine what rose is going through! Ah! This is really heartbreaking!

  155. Such a painful story, read this with tears in my eyes and it reminded me of the day my nephew died while I was taking care of him at the hospital. The pain is unexplainable and each day for anyone who has lost a child you always hold a memorial service in your heart no one else can attend. I hope Rose finds a good counselor to help her through and may our wonderful counselor comfort her through this life

    1
  156. Oh my God, this is really sad Biko,as a father I immediately said a prayer for my 9 months old son,,I can’t imagine this happened to a woman out there,,,may God help us to be always around for our kids and May he protect us all,,May the almighty give Rose hope in whatever she does, this is so sad,.reminds me of the story you wrote of a woman who got kidnapped in the Congo forest with her kids…there were birds,,,but they didn’t sing.

    5
  157. This is sad.As a father this has shook me.Am in tears.How do you move on from this as a human being? Where do you get the strength? Hope was her only strength.She went with her mother’s hope and strength.Praying for her.

  158. I didn’t know I had signed up for a cry me a river
    Honestly I thought it was a happy ending of cleft lip being restored and Rose finding Love again
    My heart weeps for her…I’m broken and no parent should burry her child no matter the circumstances.Reading through it’s unimaginable the pain she’s going through
    May God locate her because there situations that it’s only God who can intervene

    2
  159. I always feel that these’first’ here people are still fighting low self esteem issues from their primary school days!

  160. This has tugged at my heart for sure. I just hugged my little girls just a bit tighter before I set them off to school this morning. May Hope continue watching over her mum from heaven. She sounds utterly amazing! What a short but beautiful life she lived.
    You did a great job Rose, you are a wonderful mother. God bless you and give you peace

  161. I kept hoping we were waking up from a nightmare. Heartwrenching..Though it may be of little consolation, I do hope KWS compensate this mother. Why do they drag out such delicate cases?

    1
  162. This is way chilling than the rocks of everest. Super sad . Does KWS really compensate persons attacked by wild animals? Never heard of a “successful” one. Justice should be accorded to baby Hope.

    1
  163. Life and death, intertwined and never apart! Perfect peace to Hope and to Rose may you find again the purpose to live. May the joy of living overcome the pain of death.

    1
  164. This is too much God , my heart is heavy reading what the sweet little princess went through and the effect it had on the mum. May the Almighty grant Rose the much needed comfort and strength.

  165. No, this story didn’t end as I expected it to. So heart wrenching. Rose, what do I even say? May comfort engulf you. Hope Rest in peace.

  166. This is the most heart wrenching story I’ve ever read. I hate leopards. They used to be my favorite in the cat family… Coz of their beautiful roseatte hides, but now I hate them. Oh Hope. God strengthen this mother. Heal her broken heart and life. Only you can do it. Hope, rest in peace

  167. What a sad ending… I do belive God got great plans for u Rose…just keep ur prays n hope To God all times. To KWS, whats all the delay to compensate her loss…sambdy help her.

  168. Extremely heartbreaking even for the bravest of men,tears tough to hold back. I hope Rose find strength

  169. “Doesn’t prayer protect children from harm? Isn’t God supposed to protect my baby?
    My heart hurts

  170. I can’t imagine the pain of losing your only child in such a horrible way. No words can be enough to quell how Rose feels…this is so

  171. Wow, i’ve known grief in my lifetime, when i was young, and still can’t say i can relate..bt time sure does try and patch up such unmendable wounds..You give it time, prayer and Hope. One day at a time.

  172. This is sooooo sad. I can’t even begin to describe the pain she is going through. Only God can touch her and heal her.

    We have grief share classes in Nairobi Chapel, which is a 13 week grief counseling program. You can tell her about it, the pain may take long but she will be able to process it abit better.

    My deepest condolences Rose, l pray for God’s comfort and peace.

    Irene

  173. This is so sad. I wept all through from Hopes demise. I don’t think I’d be able to continue living if that was my child. My prayers to Rose in abundance. She is strong

  174. As a mother,my heart is full of sadness and sorrow …I don’t even want to imagine what mama hope Is going through.my prayers go to her and her family as they go through the process of healing.
    Maaaan…..no mother should have to go through this but all we can say is may Hope’s soul continue resting in eternal peace….

  175. Why,why. The loss of hope.The loss of a child. Completely lost for words. This is the most heartbreaking story I have read in a long time. May Rose find strength and as she prays, may she get her prayers answered.

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  176. Oooh God… I have cried. Oooh what way do you comfort a mother. Oooh just how??! May she gain peace with the times & may the Almighty God heal Rose.

  177. I have cried, for that single mum like me who lost a child same age as my dear son Adrian. I can’t fathom the pain, may she find peace that surpasses all understanding.

  178. Saddest article , my eyes welled up in the office now i feel like going home to check on my daughter.

    1
  179. This is so heartbreaking . No parent deserves such. No parent should burry their children. As for Rose Hope is still alive I your heart . She’s smiling at you from above. We pray that Hope will come back in form of her sister. We pray that the almighty God may restore Hope in you. You are a strong woman hunny❤️

  180. Oooh Lord, I have wept. This is beyond painful. It’s traumatizing and again I am a single parent, am scared.

  181. It is painful…… very painful…. as a mother, it is painful…
    “‘Hope had a smile and when Hope smiled, she smiled like she had not just been given a smile but she had been smiling all along, only nobody possessed the vision to see it. Hers was a special kind of smile'”.

    May Rose find a special kind of grace and healing!

  182. Sooo sad…
    Rest in peace baby Hope.
    Dear Rose, may God wipe away your tears and comfort. May the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding be with you always.

  183. Boy, I’m lost for words to solace Ms Rose. Just in Kariara’s Poem, “Grass Will Grow,” may God send some rain to her family. The grass will grow.

  184. Oh Lord! The pain is unbearable. Rose we hold you in our thoughts and prayers and although this is not enough, never enough, it is all we can do.
    Also, can we start a petition to KWS? Anyone know how to set one up?
    Biko, I can never forget Bradley story, or the one of the refugee mum from DRC who’s baby was boiled. This one too will be etched in my memory forever. Praying for all these families and for you.

  185. Reading this after my daughter have me the scare of my life, I can’t imagine what Rose went through. I still have not finished reading the story between tears, I’m so sorry Rose. May God give you strength.

  186. I am so sorry for your loss, It’s never easy loosing a child. I have been there. And with every passing day you think of your child and what they would be doing, how they would be and stuff like that. But God gives strength and grace. God continue to comfort you and give you strength to move on with life

  187. I am a father who lost a daughter. It’s now 14 years and i think I’ll never get over it. A parent should never loose a child,it should be the other way round.

    4
  188. This one needs a box of tissues. Wow….I can only pray for Rose, and all the other Rose’s. I know your heart was heavy after listening to Rose and sharing it with us.

    To you all!

  189. Such a gut wrenching and painful story. May the Lord comfort Rose and may the little angel rest in eternal peace.

  190. Your articles are normally very interesting but this one, Oh my!! Sad! Sad! story.
    May Rose find strength and healing. Death is such a painful thing.

  191. Pole sana mama Hope. May you be healed and may Hope be your portion.
    Many tragedies befall children when parents are away hunting. How do we strike a balance in this life? May God help us.

  192. Oh no! This is just too sad. I can’t stop crying. It is unimaginable.. My heart goes out to Rose. May God comfort you and give you strength to face tomorrow. I know He has good plans for you which will be revealed to you sooner or later. Thank you Biko for having the courage to write and share with us this heart-wrenching story. May Hope rest in eternal peace.

  193. Sad, heartbreaking and numbing. So sad.
    May God’s strength be upon Rose and eternal peace be upon little Hope. I am sorry for the experience baby girl, rest well.
    Heavenly Father, Son and Holy Spirit please please please protect our children and favor them to live a full blissful life to 70+. Give us the favor to share life with them and to see them grow old and achieve their dreams.
    May the rejection they face from their fathers not attract any bad omen but more favor upon their lives. God, you know the fears of a parent, and you understand the dangers of life better, please shower upon us and our children your endless mercies and favor not because of our righteousness but just because we are your children. I pray for strength, guidance, protection, provision, love, peace and hope upon every child and every parent
    Lord graciously hear us.

    1
  194. This is heartrending. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to live with the kind of pain Mama Hope has to wake up with everyday.

  195. Biko!!!
    My heart is broken. I pray for Rose to receive an Angelic visitation which will be so intense that by the time the visit is over, she’ll have a new awakening in her spirit propelling her to give LIFE another chance.

    2
  196. This is heart wrenching. I’ve read this for two days, in bits. I am not sure why, maybe because intuitively my soul felt the sadness in it.
    May Rose find her strength back to live her life. May Hope’s soul rest in eternal peace!

  197. May the good Lord be with Rose and to ease her grieve and pain of losing her only child Hope❤️
    Soo Sad

  198. OH MY GOOD GOD!
    I AM IN TEARS…THIS IS SO SO SAD. I DON’T WANT TO READ SUCH A STORY AGAIN, IT IS JUST SO HEARTBREAKING!
    MAY GOD CONTINUE TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN IN OUR ABSENCE.

  199. How you are able to put words to such an unspeakable tragedy is beyond me I have had to move very far away from people to weep like you did. My heart aches for this little girl and her mother. I kept thinking of my two young sons and my heart is in peaces. I hope and pray that she one day gets peace in her heart. Peace that can only come from above. Eternal rest grant upon hope Oh Lord and may your perpetual light shine upon her, May she rest in peace, Amen.

    1
  200. This story has shattered my heart to pieces. God where are you in situations like this? Why do you allow such things to happen? And Biko, this story is bad but it isn’t the worst. The worst story you’ve ever written is about that Congolese woman who had her baby boiled by cannibalistic rebels. It haunts me to this day.

    3
  201. May God comfort Rose,Rest in peace baby Hope,I hope and pray that no parent will burry there child prematurely,

  202. Holy FUCKING God!!!!

    I can’t count how many times I had to stop reading this to catch a breath. I had to finish it, if only to honor HOPE.

    Oh poor Rose!!! What a tragic thing to experience! My mind is all jumbled, I can’t think of anything else to add here

    1
  203. I kept hoping Hope was alive and just maybe terribly disfigured. Up until you mentioned a coffin, a baby’s coffin! I couldn’t believe it! I know you don’t do fiction, Biko but I wish this were the one time you did!

    1
  204. This is a painful read….I could not finish reading it and all i could do was think of my daughter and imagine the pain Hopes mum is going through …. May Rose find comfort and strength to face the world again. May God protect our children

  205. Wololo!
    Biko, I agree, don’t write about children’s death ever again, let this be the last. We already worry and panic at the real, imagined and even impossible possibilities when we think about our kids safety. Even at an imagined stage, one gets overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness and foreboding. My heart just breaks thinking of what Rose’s reality is. May she find peace, comfort and a will to go on, a day at a time. May little Hope continue resting in power, with her beautiful smile.

    1
  206. Soo touching,,,, is it a real story? If yes then am extremely sorry,,,, i know how death hurts because i tested it,,,, may God console you and Rose and the entire family,,,, Rest in peace young soul Hope

  207. Biko I hope you will not write such pain again.its too painful to read,to imagine what Rose went thru may God grant her healing.may perpetual light shine upon Hope’s soul Amen.

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  208. Wherever you are Rose ,am sending you lots of hugs mummy . The pain never goes away but we live a day at a time. Am so sorry..

    1
  209. Rose. You will see hope again. In real life. That is very very soon. Acts 24:15. Hope will be resurrected. John 5:28,29. Hope will live again. This is sure hope. Revelation 21:4-5. Death will be removed. This is sure sure hope from our loving God and his son Jesus.
    Because we are living in the last days. These promises will soon take place under God’s kingdom

  210. At a time when the Texas shooting of 20 young toddlers unfortunately took place, I read the story of Hope & Rose. This makes me want to go fetch my 6yr old boy from his room and tuck him between his mom & I for the rest of his childhood. My heart bleeds for Hope and my thoughts and prayers goes out to Rose…No parent should ever burry their children, We live because they live…. May the name of the Lord be glorified.

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    1. As long as we wish for good things to happen. Let’s be open and accept that pain will be there. No one can feel joy without sorrow and pain. We cannot stop death. Children also don’t want to burry their parents. We should understand life and be realistic. We just live and leave the rest to God that His will may prevail. If it’s time for Him to harvest, even if young or old, we cannot tell for sure how God’s picks who is ripe for harvesting.
      That’s where the world is, you cannot stop evil by doing good because there are those who want to take advantage of kindness & drain others. We just live. Cause no one pain.

  211. My favourite niece is called Hope. I went to Kijabe boys high school while my undergraduate was in Maseno university. Well, this story has touched me to my deepest of soul. Wish you the best of this world maam. May the face of mercy and comfort never leave your days.

  212. Such a painful story ! May God give Rose sufficient strength and hope to bear the situation. Justice must be served to this lady.

  213. This should not happen to any parent. After all the struggles she went through. soo sad. May Rose find peace and may Hope Rest In Peace.

  214. We pray that Rose finds peace and strength to carry on..
    The pain never goes away. It changes a person. With time, one learns to live with it. Little things may trigger tears afresh. May God hold her.

  215. The pain of reading this is real. No words can be shared. lost my daughter when she was one month, she was born prematurely, she never left the hospital. That pain is still there at times I just feel like crying. God has been good, blessed us with another one.

  216. I kept on reading with hope that I would get to a line where it was all a bad dream.Biko,this broke me,literally.I can still feel how cold my body is with the shivers and all..My heart goes out to Rose,I pray for her and her family since Prayer is all I know.

  217. I have been reading this with a picture of my daughter in my mind, a single parent too and I can’t imagine my life without her. This is so painful. May they find peace

    1
  218. Oh Lord.
    I’m filled with so much fear right now.
    This has taken me to the two times I left my 9yr old daughter in shags and I remember visiting and asking my sister and mom where she was and they didn’t seem to know, talk of panic as I went out calling her loud.Thankfully I would find her in the shamba with her cousins.

    My village is not a very interesting one hence this kind of panic.

    Does Rose’s family have a lawyer following up the compensation with KWS?

    Also, relatives need to be very cautious with kids whenever they are left with them. Kids will always be kids.

    1
  219. Such a sad story i have ever read , its painful even to imagine what Rose is going through we Pray that she finds peace and God will give her another hope and a peaceful future. no more words

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  220. Mama Hope thanks for sharing your story it’s the beginning of your healing journey. I pray that God continues to grant you the strength to overcome the pain. Biko, keep writing but just like road signs, throw in some disclaimers to prepare your audience for the ‘read’ – anybody walking in on me wouldn’t understand my red puffy eyes.

  221. Dear Rose, The Bible has given us this promise in Acts24:15 (and I have hope toward God that there’s going to be a resurrection)….so that we can find comfort in our trials.
    I also hope Kws pple at least compensate you in good time.
    We all mourn with you..hope is a good thing and hope was truly a good Daughter.

  222. May Rose find devine comfort that no man can give.

    You may be interested in my blog for good reads. ❤️https://prodigitaladdress.blogspot.com/2022/05/mike-is-also-duke.html

  223. Wuuui…pain is an understatement…God remember Rose to comfort her..
    Pray that mercy meets justice for Hope..

  224. I lost a child too like Hope…it was sudden,painful and unexpected.She died from a scorpion sting and the nurses messed with the antivenom leading to a heart attack while we were watching.
    You will write that story when the time is right since I really prayed and God gave me another girl…on the same day of Trizas death.
    2 years later 7 people who attended my daughter’s burial died…Covid, accidents,blood clots.Their demise made me accept death and truly no one knows their time.
    Was told to follow up with KWS,sue the medics I thought they’d never return my child she is heaven now.

    1
  225. This story has broken me to pieces. I just can’t stop crying for Hope and Rose. Rose’s world was completely shattered in an instant. My heart bleeds & is feeling pain I can’t even explain. May God shield Rose from the pain that engulfs her. My prayer is that one day Rose will smile again. Even for just a minute.

  226. I don’t know what hurts more? The death of a loved one, Little Hope or the sun raising the next day and people laughing and adding sugar to their tea, going on with their lives.
    Rose(Mama Hope) my heart felt condolences, and everyone who lost their loved ones kids or parents.

  227. Let me just say, this is the only of BIKO’s article that I have been unable to read to the end. I stopped at the Leopard and her cubs, Full stop.

  228. I have cried and felt the pain. May Hope rest in eternal peace and for Rose, we can only pray that God gives you strength to accept His will and may He continue to comfort you and guide you.

  229. My heart is shredded to pieces . This is a nightmare. My heart goes out to Rose, may she find healing in God.

  230. The saddest story i have ever read… Next to that of losing mom in only 10 days of hospitalization. It was.likevthe Simon makonde story! May hope n mom n all our departed beloved ones rest in God”s Eternal painless peace! Mom was my caregiver in cancer treatment. I’m currently going through a second cancer, and wishing she was still alive, pushing me to eat when the appetite brot down to 0 by chemo.. Rest in Peace mom. Test in peace Hope.

    1
  231. My heart is completely shuttered by this story. Biko you’re so strong for telling it as beautifully as you have despite it’s unfathomable deep pain. Oh Rose,beautiful flower. May God comfort you. May your baby angel Hope rest easy in God’s favourite spot in heaven. Sending you all the love i can master

  232. This here is one of the reasons why I really really dread at the idea of having kids man. Idk but this is so cruel. Couldn’t even finish reading man. Damn. I hope the mother finds peace man.

  233. Waaaahh! Oh God Comfort Rose, may little hope RIP and Biko pole. I join Rose in her brokenness, honestly what kind of pain is this one???

  234. The little caskets are the heaviest to carry. Rest well baby Hope. Grace, you are in our thoughts and prayers…..I shed a tear.

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  235. This has called so close home… I lost my seven year old girl just three years ago and though not through such gruesome and sad circumstances, I guess death is death and losing a child is something I can never wish my worst enemy.
    Three years this month and I am yet to recover and I guess I might never truly recover.
    Let me just leave it at that.

    1
  236. The most painful story I have ever read. May God comfort Rose and her family and give them grace to move on.

  237. This here, is the most heart wrenching story I have ever read on Bikozulu. No words are enough to comfort Rose. May our good Lord who comforts his people reach out to Rose and comfort her in a way only him can. My heart and prayers are with her. So so so sorry…

  238. So so sorry .
    Heart wrenching.
    Rose, there is no right way to grieve; there is only your way to grieve and that is different for everyone, own it. You shall rise again.

    1
  239. I am in tears…heartbreaking..had to read in phases. May God strengthen Rose and carry her through this. Biko, I can only imagine how hard it was to write this. Losing a child…heartbreaking is not a sufficient word.

  240. I also couldn’t finish reading. Jumped to comments after a week. I’ll just leave it where I left it.

  241. This cut really deep… I can’t collect myself to complete to the last words with without sobbing..
    Rose, may you find comfortk# and courage to carry on..
    This article and the other ‘There were Birds But they Didn’t Sing’, have left prints in my soul.

  242. Saddest story I have ever come across.So many questions in my mind. The title of the story Little Hope made me think the story would end well.Rose may God help you recover.I read this story 1 week ago and I have not yet recovered.Its too sad.May God walk with you Rose.

  243. I watched a piece about another lady that lost her son at 2 months and then I read this…! As a mum, I have cried my eye balls out and mourned with these women. my heart is so heavy, I cannot even begin to fathom what Rose is going through. May you find strength in each sunrise and may little Hope’s soul rest in heavenly and glorious peace.

    God must have a special place for women in the next life because, aiih, women go through the most in this one!

  244. There are few times I don’t know what to say or how to say it, this is one of them! Am a mother Rose and I feel your pain!!! I visualized the whole scenario and I was numb….i still am!!! I feel you….

  245. Ah…. I’m willing to be okay with not understanding so many things in this life and I’ve made peace with that, but death, no, please, I don’t understand death, I don’t understand it’s concept, I don’t understand it’s purpose, I don’t understand the criteria of how, who, where & when – how these decisions get to be made.

    I don’t understand how death; is the one thing that defies time, logic, precautions, even love which we’re told is the greatest of all, make it make sense please..

    One day at a time, Rose, for now, that’s all, one day at a time, at your own pace, in your own design.

    I earnestly hope you find a sense of peace and healing.

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  246. I knew Rose through her sister….so sad I have read the story and tears rolled down my cheeks… God remember Rose in anyway and clear her tears away it’s painful and heartbreaking … and may the soul of the little princess dance with angels…

  247. it’s so painful …. too much painful…..
    may God grant you ..STRENGTH AND ENDUARANCE to live on this life.
    and for fathers’ who reject children like ME . God has your Reward in abudance
    I was born with the same condition, and as a reason my father left
    God bless my mother and siblings . for they provided for me an environment such that i grew like a normal child and they help me cope with various challenges
    Born with CLEFT LIP PALATE is really hard but who is God?
    He does what he wanteth and at his times of choosing. and if he choses you to be a mother of a special child …. it is becouse you are the only one. who can handle. never disobey.
    For you ROSE….God will reward you for your acceptance and caring for your daughter untill HE took her from you.
    cherish those little moment’s you’ve had with her …use them …. create with them a safe haven to help you get through.
    Just Know it was NOT your careless neither your mother’s fault … it is all God’s doings

  248. TD was terrified as well, i think he witnessed the tragic event and that’s why he ran to hide under the bed. This is very sad indeed. I pray for Rose to find peace eventually. We are mourning with you.

  249. immeasurable pain ,
    Psalms 50:15 call upon me in the day of trouble, i will deliver you and you shall glorify me.
    May she rise again.

  250. One of the best stories I’ve ever read , this brought so much tears in my eyes and I pray no one goes through such pain .
    Thanks for sharing this story with us

  251. mahnn. this was extremely painful. i pray for Rose to find peace and strength to walk this dark most painful journey any mother can go through.