Be A Baby

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Tamms asks a question that has disturbing her for a while, “What’s bacon made from?”

“Pig,” I say.

“And sausage?”

“Another pig,” I say and chuckle. She doesn’t.

Tamms has the sense of humour of an overflowing ashtray. And I say this with love. And a bit of a chuckle.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I sometimes ask just to check if she hasn’t picked the socialites craze on her radar.

“A mother and a doctor,” she’s always says. I thought she’d stop saying that eventually but she hasn’t. She wants to be a mother and a doctor. I always wonder if it’s going to be in that order. I hope she becomes a doctor first because then she might not find time to be a mother; she might get obsessed with ridding the world of cancer and TB and not have enough time to meet any nice men. You love your daughter but you really hope she doesn’t meet any men when she grows up. Or if she does, she just keeps meeting the type of men who remove their shoes on a date. Or eat a burger and leave the buns. Or men who eat salad. I hope she meets all that dredge  and comes to my feet and sighs resignedly, “Papa, it’s impossible to meet any decent men in this city, all they do is remove their shoes on dates and talk about calorie intake?”

“God has a man for you, darling, he will come…” I will say and try not add, “shoeless.”

The other day we were at Aga Khan (and this is not related to buns or men who remove their shoes) because Kim was green around the gills (more on this later). An acquaintance saw me and walked over to say hey and he said excitedly, “Oh, this is Tamms, right?” He said hello and shook Tamms’ hand for a beat too long as Tamms smiled bashfully and looked at him like he was a child trafficker. Later she asked me, “How did he know my name?” and I said “Because I write about you sometimes,” and she said, “Where, in the newspaper?” “No, in my blog” and just before she could ask what a blog was, the door to the elevator opened and a very old Indian man with a shock of white long hair – looking like something from Lord of the Rings – was wheeled out, head slightly bobbing to one side . She stared at him. I stared at him. Kim stared at him with his mouth open. (He has adenoids). Riding up the elevator she asked, “Was I born here?” And I said, “Not in this elevator, but on the second floor of this building.”

She didn’t smile.  

One day she will laugh at something I say. It’s amazing how as men we like when a woman laughs at something we said. I mean, here I am always bending over backwards to try make an 8-year old laugh yet she remains so unmoved by my quips. Does she not know she is killing my self esteem, does she not know that she is sending me to a life of salad?

Several people have asked me, “Do you know how pissed off Tamms will be when she becomes a teenager and she reads all these things you wrote about her?” Oh, I have a plan: From the minute she turns 12, I will only write nice flattering things about her. And I will delete some stuff, especially that ashtray barb. Such things might just drive her into the arms of the men I fear for her.

So anyway. The boy was under the weather. He was hospitalised because after they did that nebulisation thing that I hope one day is done to me because it looks cool, his chest was still shit so the doctor said he had to be spend the night. Then he got out after two days but his condition hadn’t change much; loss of appetite, lethargy etc. Because we are modern parents we decided to immediately seek a second opinion. I called a doctor friend of mine and she referred me to this other hospital to see this pediatrician who apparently is very good. I bundled the boy and the Nanny and Tamms in the car and off we went.

Here is the thing. When I was growing up, the world was full of Dr. Patel(s). In fact, the world was one big Dr. Patel. This was way back in the 80’s when they were still churned out in the thousands from a big medical plant in India. Back then there weren’t any fancy doctors with fancy tribal bracelets on their wrists. Maybe I was too young but I don’t remember young doctors with long hair or with tattoos of butterflies on their ankles. Doctors didn’t take out their phones to calculate your dosage. You didn’t see doctors congregating near the main desk, saying “You guy, jana we left that place at 3am…” Which is something you don’t want to hear you doctor say. You imagine your doctor to be superhuman, all knowing, ordained by the Lord to heal. You imagine your doctor to collect rare music, or play the violin in their private time, probably while they sit in the garden, a cup of lemongrass tea by their side. You don’t want a doctor complaining about a hangie. A hangie is ours. Back then, well, maybe they had massive hangies but doctors were Gods. They put a pill in your mouth and you swallowed, no questions asked. Peremptory.

Anyway, the Patels we saw were almost always as old as the hills. It seemed that if you were a Patel you were born old. I wondered if there were young Patels who made toys from wire. Just because of their age, you instantly felt better when they pried open your lower eyelid and looked for something in your whites. You sat there and when they asked you to say “aaah” you said, “aaah,” and they shone a small torch into your throat. They always had hooded eyes, large Adam’s apples and gold spectacles dangling from around their necks. And they were ever so gentle. They spoke gravely, like sages, like they just came down a mountain with news for humanity. They touched you tenderly, a warm leathery touch. They smelled of spice and some smelled of Taj Mahal. They all had handwriting you couldn’t read. And they always injected you. With chloroquine. Oh, chloroquine was a bitch.

There was an implicit confidence in doctors. Our mothers never questioned a doctor’s prescription. They didn’t take us to see doctors with a diagnosis already in mind or a prescription already on their tongues. Doctors were kings and queens and it was a fine time to be a doctor back then. Of course Google ruined it, because now we are all doctors simply because we can click search. We can even watch videos of surgeries before we go for surgery. Google has turned us into specialists. We are pharmacists. Oncologists. Allergists. Orthopedists. Radiologists. Gastroenterologists. Gynecologists…wait, hang on.  

Anyway, so based on my “Old-Doctor” socialisation I show up at this hospital for a second opinion and I’m told to wait for the peadi, so I sit and I wait. It’s a weekday afternoon. Kim is strapped on the back of the nanny, napping with his mouth agape. Tamms is standing before an oil painting. A choir of crying kids rises all around us. A guy with three chins is complaining aloud why it’s taking so freaking long to see a doctor while they are obviously not too busy. I want to tell him to save his breath and sit, you can’t bully these people with noise, they have seen the most cantankerous patients so your bickering is like a sound of gurgling spring water. Take your seat and wait, I have learnt. But if you have to stand and say something then say something measured and nice. Charm gets better results in hospitals.

I then saw the pediatrician walk out and my heart just sunk.

He looked like a boy. I swear. If you shaved a few years off his life, he would be the one waiting to see a pediatrician with adenoids. He had such a boyish face I thought, “Am I going to see a Rotaract-ian (is that how one refers to them?) or a doctor?”

I walked back to the main admission reception and told the lady seated behind the desk. “Hey, I don’t mean to be one of those annoying and difficult patients you hate but is that the Dr. X we are supposed to see?”

“Yes,” she smiled.

“I’m sorry, but how old is he?”

She laughed and said, “He’s old enough.”

“My God, he looks like a boy! I must be older than him!”

“How old are you?”

“38? And him?”

“Ok, he’s much younger than you.”

“How much younger? Is he any good? Because he’s our second opinion.”

“He’s good.”

“Would you tell me if he wasn’t?”

“I would” she laughed unconvincingly.

In my head I had convinced myself we were coming to see an ageing doctor. One of those doctors who speak in a slow drawl and look at you with half sleepy eyes and dress badly because they have such medical knowledge and experience that they have no time for the trivialities of fashion. I thought we would see a doctor who doesn’t know how to use a computer properly, and so when they type on the keyboard they spend two minutes looking for the letter “M”. I wasn’t ready for this much younger doctor. He looked like the kind who loves Justin Bieber. I always think that if a doctor knows what a mojito is then he’s too young. I was pretty sure this doctor knew what a mojito was. I don’t think Professor Ogola – the brilliant cardiologist – knows what a mojito is. If he’s heard of a mojito, he probably thinks it’s a small town of 400 people in rural Cuba.

But then I thought to myself that this young guy could be a genius doctor, top of his class, some sort of medical prodigy. Sharp like a sabre. Surely, he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t good. I propped my confidence in him on a wobbly pole.

Genius or not, when we later walked in I found that although he obviously knew his shit his people skills was close to zero. And he was terrible with the boy. With me he had zero eye contact, which was fine because perhaps he doesn’t believe in looking at men in the eye, but he didn’t engage the boy at all. There are doctors who will be blowing balloons and drawing a smiley face while calling the child by name and touching their shoes and saying, “Give me these shoes!” in that voice that only doctors and nurses seem to be able to master, even before examining him.

And the child is saying, “Nooo!” and they are saying, “Noo, please give me these shoes, I love them! Please,” and the child is slapping their hands away, giggling, and they insist and say, “Come on, let me borrow them for today, I have a party, I will return them tomorrow,” and they’re laughing and saying, “You are too big! They can’t fit!” and he/she pretends to sulk and he/she says, “Come on, they will fit me, here, have mine.“ And before the child realizes it, the doctor has looked at the child’s ears, throat, and listened to their chest.

And we – the parents – think our kids are more special than other kids. We are obnoxious and obviously annoying. Our kids are always sicker than the next kid. And so when you make our children laugh and giggle, when you try to steal our children’s shoes from their feet, you invariably get in our good books even if we waited for five hours to see you. And we never forget you. You could fumble with the medication or even the actual diagnosis, but we will be kinder to you because you were warm and amiable and you didn’t remove your shoes. And we will never forget your name.

After seeing the boy-doctor, I called my pal and said, “That guy was as warm as an alligator and not a day older than the Iphone 6.”

“But he’s really good!” she laughed.

“Yes,” I said, “So is a corkscrew!”

“Maybe he was having a bad day!”

“Doctors shouldn’t have bad days! They are doctors..gods!”

Sometimes feeling better is all in the mind. Sometimes you go see a doctor and just by seeing him, just by being in his space, you feel better. Some have that thing about them that inspires good health. There are scores of young  brilliant doctors I have seen who have it. Those who have something more than just the smarts. Something extra. Something humane and otherworldly. They have that healing hand. They feel your forehead and you suddenly don’t feel like throwing up. They talk to you and they talk to what ails you. You feel safe and healed in their presence.  It’s something that some doctors have and others don’t.

I always wonder if doctors training to be pediatricians are examined on how they relate with babies. Because some treat babies like bluetooth external  speakers. Wireless things that emit sound remotely. They are awkward around babies. When a baby cries they don’t have the first clue on what to do. In fact they look like they want to cry too.

Dear Pediatricians, we don’t want you to wear clown shoes or a red rubber nose. We don’t want you to do a dance or wear a Scottish kilt. We don’t want you to grow a beard or look intellectually haggard.  We don’t even want you to sing to our babies.

All we want is for you to try. Try act like the baby is not a gadget with a manual. You might dislike us annoying parents, brandishing Google in your face, your relationship might be ending, you might be in debt, you might not have been paid your Locum fees for that month and you are pissed, but when we place our child in your chair, just try and be a baby like them. Just be a baby.

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  1. This is an amazing piece Biko. I read all of it. This part cracked me up so hard, “Because some treat babies like bluetooth external speakers. Wireless things that emit sound remotely”. Looking forward to the next piece on Tuesday.

  2. Excellent read as usual
    “…Genius or not, when we later walked in I found that although he obviously knew his shit his people skills was close to zero. And he was terrible with the boy. With me he had zero eye contact, which was fine because perhaps he doesn’t believe in looking at men in the eye, but he didn’t engage the boy at all. There are doctors who will be blowing balloons and drawing a smiley face while calling the child by name and touching their shoes and saying, “Give me these shoes!” in that voice that only doctors and nurses seem to be able to master, even before examining him…”

    You gotta visit Getrudes Muthaiga for doctors with people skills’

    1. There was a story doing rounds on social media over a mothers terrible experience at Gertrude’s and how they wanted to pump her kid with meds she did not need.

    2. ‘Em doctors must be choosy then, av not had any good experience with the Gertrude’s doctors at all!!

  3. ……….Later she asked me, “How did he know my name?” and I said “Because I write about you sometimes,” and she said, “Where, in the newspaper?” “No, in my blog” and just before she could ask what a blog was, the door to the elevator opened………
    Good read

  4. The young doctors ‘discussion’ has been raging on Kilimani Mums page for a while; with Getrudes being bashed for all the ‘mis-diagnosis’ taking place…so I guess this is Biko giving his two cent:-). By the way, was the 2nd opinion different from the first one?

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  5. True!I visited a Paed once who promptly branded my baby a “drama queen” for crying when he touched her! TSK!!

  6. Chloroquin was a sure bitch.
    Still remember the feel of the injection and the taste of its pills.

  7. Reminded me of my last hospital visit
    kwanza when you are a lady, you are pregnant unless proven otherwise
    and these young doctors are the worst you just see them and you see a misdiagnosis
    and their attitudes are worse than a volunteer forced by his mom on a rainy day
    I really miss the old Patels(and Kamaus) hao when you just saw them you felt so healed you even forgot your symptoms

    Hope the boy got better.

    1. So true, you have a toothache,headache, whatever they ask if you are pregnant, and once you mention the abdomen, that’s it, you are pregnant

      1. I will just point out that most medications prescribed by the doctor can adversely affect a baby in the womb. Enquiries about pregnancy and menstrual cycle history of a woman of child bearing age is standard procedure worldwide regardless of the doctor’s age and are not out of malice, rather for your own good and your baby’s well being if you happen to be pregnant. God forbid you fail to disclose pregnancy in the first trimester and receive significant doses of radiation then end having a baby with serious physical and mental deficiencies.

      2. Let me just point out that inquiries about pregnancy and menstrual cycles in women of child bearing age are standard procedures world wide and not borne out of malice or a preserve of young Kenyan doctors. Medications prescribed regardless of the presenting complain in the clinic/hospital can adversely affect a foetus in the womb. Pregnancy comes with a number of hormonal changes that can result in changes in the normal physiology of the body. Some may interpret this as disease process so the doctor will need to rule out pregnancy. God forbid you fail to mention pregnancy to your physician in the first trimester then receive significant doses of radiation and end up with a baby who has serious physical and mental deficiencies.

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  8. Rotarian, I think. Remind them to wear something under the kilt if they do decide to. Wonderful read. I hope Your son is better.

  9. That’s the result of parallel programmes
    People get into courses for the sake of money not what they like

  10. Smart Biko you too think everyone is a gynecologist by birth since (****! google) women by default and men through association

  11. so true,
    “Doctors
    were kings and queens and it was a fine time
    to be a doctor back then. Of course Google
    ruined it, because now we are all doctors
    simply because we can click search. We can
    even watch videos of surgeries before we go
    for surgery. Google has turned us into
    specialists. We are pharmacists. Oncologists.
    Allergists. Orthopedists. Radiologists.
    Gastroenterologists. Gynecologists…wait,
    hang on.”

  12. The first sentence broke my heart. grammatical errors don’t look god on you man. nice read though.

    1. Your task was a simple sentence. You totally failed on that. What will we see should you decide to write an essay.

    2. patrick, Francis, Christine, Ymona, Eunice, Makobu…heheheh, wanted to see if y’all would notice.. i stand corrected though. Biko’s people can def roast one to death. Lol. you guys will be on the receiving end one day, I promise to show no mercy. cheers though.

    3. There is a difference between a typo and a grammatical error, before you all accuse anitah for not knowing how to spell ‘good’

  13. Biko, your writing is evocative, funny and many things that I cannot express fully. Keep doing it and expressing on behalf of some of us, who feel so many things but are unable to pen them down as giftedly as you can. Tamms & the entire family is fortunate to have you!

  14. Ok Biko…sasa si you know some folks are plain and simply awkward around babies. Especially those folks who never at some point in their lives had toddlers thrust into their arms by their moms who were going for some chamaa meeting/market/gossiping session th whole afternoon.

    With vry unspecific instructions on what the baby should be fed on while they are away. Or how many napkins to use when they load their pants (why were they called napkins? never heard of diapers mpaka 2010 hapo ivi). Or how to sooth them to sleep/mediate inter-toddler tantrums. Such folks are helpless around kids/their nieces & nephews/that spoilt kid who wants your phone so that he can put it in his mouth in the PSV…sembuse your lil guy.

    Anyway….now what’s with the “hate”/no confidence in the young doctors. Those old Patel doctors were young doctors too, at some point. Do you know how mean the old fellas are to the young fellas in the field? They have it rough and tough with the old folks who think they “KNOW NOTHING” like Jon Snow. Yet they have to deal with y’all with your smart phones and webMD. And those diagnoses y’all come up with before at the emergency room at 3am. Ati you think you have meningococcal bacteremia with osteoarthritis of the little toe because your heels don’t fit no more. And you think you need meropenem ?tabs,crutches an a letter to your boss “saying” you won’t be able to discharge your duties for 2 weeks.

    Nikama…mimi with my horrible grammar come to your desk at work an start instructing you on how to write when I can barely communicate in the Queen’s English. Check out exhibit A hapo juu. The kilimani idlers page on facebook vented and rioted albeit virtually on how incompetent “these young doctors” are with their dreadlocks and trouser pants and denims etc.
    Read how some were so proud of not taking their totos for vaccinations because them doctors know squat.

    And I wept.

    See…while most of y’all are at home having dinner with your families/having kamoja for the road/trying to start a fire with your pelvises at 1824 while putting your livrs into a rigorous workout…there is a doctor somewhere who worked more than 12 straight hour shifts going through huge textbooks and volumes of articles/medical journals just to make sure that when you diagnose yourself via google and nearly kill yourself after self-medicating, he saves your life.

    NB: mie pal be a doctore. (sio yule wa spartacus with the nyahunyo).

    1. Hey, it’s a choice they made to be doctors. We all made our choices. And for such a noble profession, you best put your best foot forward and not whine about the hours you have to put in because it’s a choice you made. It comes with the forte surely.

    2. me thinks biko’s sentiments hit a little too close for the reaction to be that of ‘just a friend’ doctore….

  15. Biko you shouldn’t wish for your daughter to meet only those men who talk about calories or eat salads only. Do you know how sad it is experiencing such.. otherwise , nice article as always

  16. Ever since i met(knew)you Biko, i haven’t regretted it one bit..always have something to look forward to..thank you Biko and, good read

  17. Smart Biko,you too think everyone can be a gynecologist(**** google) women by default and men through experiments

  18. Went to gertrudes Komarock and met some man…wont call him a doctor coz its like I ended up guiding him on so many things about my Baby’s condition that I felt I should have been the one paid for consultation not him and the way their charges are up there…Paeditricians should just be women Period!They habve better people skills. nice read though and I hope Kim got better

  19. Nice read…..the old docs were good and confident too. I have met a young paed who even had the guts to ask me what i thought was wrong with my baby. As if the consultation fee i had just paid didn’t transfer that responsibility to him.Nktt

  20. Another Fantastic Read Biko… Am glad to tell you I have met the Baby Dr,you talking about in Dar, he is Tanzania’s leading Peaditrician, Prof. Karim… He is wonderful with babies, Todd’s, you name it. I have also met the beast Dr.Pead,that just leaves a bad taste in your mouth, Hoping you never get to see him again… I never went back, as sick as you twins were…

  21. Omera Biko pray hard that your boy don’t find himself in my care…thats will be the end of your fatherhood with him…love will change his mind

  22. Doctors have been on the receiving end for some time now because they are considered as small gods by the public. The issues from the many complaints so far have been age, knowledge, dressing and interpersonal skills.
    1. Age
    Medicine is practise( yes that means youre the guinea pig). The more you practice the more you know. The medicine we practice nowdays however is evidence based meaning our decisions are based on what has worked on evidence. Any doctor hence can be good independent on age
    2. Knowledge
    How good is your doctor? How deep is his/her knowledge? A doctor choses to learn as much as he/she can. Where he/she went to school does not matter. The exams in medical school are subjective with the threshold being the basic medical knowledge and skills.
    3. Dressing, social life and language
    Doctors now have tattoos, dreadlocks and the ladies walk in 8 inch high heels. They hangout in best western and race at night on thika road under the legends of the underground racing group. My point is doctors are humans; dont view them any other way
    4 . Interpersonal skills
    The personalities vary. You will find those who partot from morning to evening and those who are quiet and emotionless like a statue.
    *forgive the typos and grammatical errors*

    1. I agree with you. Plus those old patels were once young just like these chaps old as iphones. I say give them time please.

    2. I think what people are trying to put across is that most of the young doctors don’t have a BEDSIDE MANNER. Like etiquette, it is not something you’ll be ‘trained/tested’ on in schools or on the job. It is something you take the personal initiative to cultivate (regardless of your gender, age or socio-economic status). And yes, most young Kenyan professionals seem to lack this. They’re brilliant yes but they lack decorum & it makes them off-putting people to interact with.

  23. Good one Biko. I think all medical schools need to introduce a course on PR for their students. They have to deal with a more demanding patient population and it is the only way they will survive. From experience, Gertrudes as a matter of urgency must do something for their current crop of doctors!

  24. The only Dr. Patel I know is a fictional character in a book called The Cockroach Dance by Meja Mwangi

  25. Truth be told..the very young doctors in Kenya freak me out, if a doctor is below 40, hapana..when it comes to health, I think I have more confidence in the elderly sage doctors; those who begun in Makerere or Nairobi University, specialized in Russia or Scotland, did a post-doc in Canada, and have attended a zillion medical conferences all over the world..those that when you look at their names at the door of their offices not only have M.D, but a long list of their other credentials. With the number of fake certificates that float about in River Road, and strange “doctors” opening clandestine clinics where they have a field play drugging women and assaulting them, it’s far much safer to stick with the fellows who have been in the medical profession long enough to be able to relate psychologically with a variety of patients; be it a baby or a grandma,

  26. Biko, i feel you. I do not personally trust a young gynae. I am comfortable with old doctors too. These Project X doctors mascarading themselves as doctors currently in their 20s and 30s are a no no to me…………….with all due respect, it is a NO. Especially those who got A with the 2015 stollen exams…………….sorry NO………..you won’t treat me.

    1. I totally agree. I cannot have a young gynae either. Ati ndio I kutana with him kwa club and when his friends ask him how he knows me Ati I’m his patient! Never ever!!!

  27. old Doctors anytime some of the Doctors are way too young“’not a day older than the Iphone 6.”Dr Wafula in Aga Khan has good people
    skills and so are his referrals Dr Lessan

    1. Dr. Lessan handled my boy and he was so good with him. Am yet to see Dr. Wafula though av heard good reviews of him

  28. When you spot an error in the first sentence – “Tamms asks a question that has disturbing her for a while, “What’s bacon made from?”
    http://treatsonabudget.co.ke/

  29. Love your sense of humour.“Was I born here?”
    And I said, “Not in this elevator, but
    on the second floor of this
    building.”
    Look forward to your monologue
    every Tuesday…I find it hilarious.

  30. Don’t worry that attitude changes with time due to increased years in experience and also age. You don expect (some) 23-year-olds to love playing ‘silly’ games with kids. To some it is a just a proffession while to some it is a calling and creating that rapport with patients comes easily.

  31. hahaha be a baby!! I love this piece, Tammy will laugh with you when she wants ^_^ leave her alone 😛 I had a Dr. Patel too, loved him, felt better asap..and the nursing home/ hospital was so warm, all wooden floors and coffee tables with magazines about gardening and other things irrelevant to an 8yr old

  32. Biko your articles in the papers always intrigue me.Todays writing has inspired me (a med student).Its an eye wakener to learn what the society sees of my generation of already & upcoming medics.Guess from today I will redirect my focus on not just trying to excel at tops of my class but to be a diverse student ,that is, reading outside my scheduled class literature.
    Thanks for letting me know that out there its my life and pr skills that are more valuable and not my exams-based distinctions.

    1. People skills aka emotional intelligence, will get you far as a doc. Good luck Okemo. Hope you become a legendary doc!

  33. A nice read. I once had a friend who never took a direct route to a destination (one he only knew), we’ll either sit in traffic for long as we talk or circumvent the place we’re to go, we only realised when we get there that Gosh! tulikuwa tunakuja hapa na umetuzungusha huko kwote. I guess people use maps differently.

  34. There was this doctor at the Aga Khan Town Clinic…..he was the best. I am still looking for him 🙁 He would engage you on a conversation and before you know it, you’re as fit as a fiddle!!

  35. Your joke about my dad, Prof. Ogola, is hilarious. I’ll be sure to find out if he knows what a mojito is. Good article!!!

  36. Met one who didn’t even bother to learn my child’s name. Treated him like a gadget.I calmly walked back to the reception and asked to see another pediatrician. Recomended for the one I had previously seen to learn some people skills. Maybe she was having a bad day but not an excuse.

  37. Men rarely visit the hospital. And when they do it is on a wheelchair with the head slightly bobbling to the side.
    About Tamm’s sense of humour I can relate. My little sister is the ashtray type.

  38. The Doc is a Boy; He probably doesn’t have children. Most of us do not know how to befriend kids until we get our own. Ask any parent.

  39. That thing of a doctor talking about hengs…I one day found myself in front of a doctor I had left at the bar the night before. My disappointment was worse than the hangover and sickness combined.

  40. I kept reading hoping to know how well the 2nd opinion worked. Anyway, I hope lil man is well.
    as for old docs, they are excellence personified or maybe my upbringing makes me biased. they always seem to know their ahit even if they make funny sounds as they scribble and their spectacles are always perched at the end of their noses. also, they make you feel better before you even pop their pills. but there are some really good young docs at Mbagathi

  41. Don’t worry Biko, Tamms will get your sense of humor in time. She’ll have to grow into it, it’s in her genes

  42. Whereas I do indeed agree that people skills are important in the field of medicine, people are vastly different and come with different temperaments. It is incredibly unrealistic to expect every doctor who attends to your kids to be bubbling and gushing. People skills is one thing, but is the doctor competent? Did he/she correctly investigate and diagnose the problem and offer the best treatment that resulted in complete recovery? But more importantly, did you go to seek treatment or a playmate for your kids?
    Anyway, in a country where there are less than 10,000 actively practicing doctors for an ever ballooning population, currently north of 45 Million, I find the many arguments fronted in comments here rather hypocritical and misplaced…akin to rearranging chairs on the titanic deck. Let’s not even begin to speculate on how many specialist pediatricians the are in Kenya. That person who says they cannot be attended to by a doctor below 40yrs old should tell that to women in Marsabit or some other remote corner of this country where a properly trained and qualified nurse, let alone a doctor, is a myth. Age, dressing, tattoos or lack thereof, playfulness, gushiness, mushiness etc notwithstanding. How about the one who suggests pediatricians should only be women? Smh.
    The reaction to this blog post just puts Parkinson’s law of triviality into perspective. I rest my case.

    1. Yes rest your case. in fact, lay it to rest and place wreaths on it!!!
      Its like telling your neighbour who has a cow to drink strungi
      coz the only domestic animals you have are cockroaches

      1. Oh well,you missed my point and your analogy…cow/cockroach = old doctor/young doctor…really?

        Anyway, this was my point; commentators waging warfare against young doctors with misplaced comments like “I cannot be seen by a doctor below 40yrs” “The doctor had tattoos” “The doctor was blasting funny music” or even “The doctor didn’t play with my kid enough *sic*” are people out of touch with reality. Change doctors if you want but don’t disparage a whole segment of qualified healthcare professionals based on your prejudices, misconceptions, prejudgement and trivialities. Better yet, go dissect cadavers for a year in Chiromo mortuary then come back and pass judgment. Either way, people who judge others at first glance lose out the most.

        1. Oh I got your point…no judgement…
          My analogy is that we are not in Marsabit(now u r making me look insensitive)and so we get to be nitpicky on who we want to doctor us, we get to milk the services dry (uuups sorry for using the cow again)
          If we want our doctors to be clowns, we will come here and whine about it with Biko..so please take a breath in-out breathe
          and also note there is a med student here who appreciates the highlighting and commits to improve on PR skills

          1. hehe, anyway the article is a good read and in good humor I suppose…and I’ll concede some doctors could benefit from a PR crash course! Hope Biko’s kids are ok though…he didn’t conclude the story!

    2. weeh boss ume kula nare ivo kwa ninii? vitu zingine mutu ukubali yaniisha! ukiwa Dokii unakubalii tu kuwa mtu wa watu na uko na mafeelings na ma emoshions, ni kama tuu kuwa modee. huwezi kuwa modee wa ECD na hupendi kutulia na wa junia wadogo. ama uwee makanika na hupendi ma ndai mob.

      1. Jeez, how can you comment in such lovely english and then do it again in this flowy sheng? Good things, Captain. And let Dre say his piece, which he has with respect.

        1. EEEI captain…kwani ulikuwa ukisoma hii blog asubuhi hivo…no wonder ulituchapia sheng ya maajabu..sounds sleepy*.Hadi Biko amenotice!..hhhh

  43. am reading this article and thinking to myself ‘I KNOW’ i love old doctors especially with the kids they just have a way of making kids and myself feel better already even before treatment!!mmh once went to Mater Thika and entering the docs room i find this young chic and her computer was blasting some bootylicious song!!i nearly walked out

  44. if i were tamms and later in life read your articles about me..i would retaliate and write loads of pieces about you(that is assuming she will one day pick up writing)

  45. Good PR is important any day. More so for doctors.If my experience with a doc is not good…those who do not engage, i move on. Try Dr Kuburu at AAR sarit next time, Bwana Biko. You will not be disappointed.

  46. what a great piece!! yes you can wait and patiently for that matter having attended to you sometimes before…

  47. Dear BIKO et al. I’m a doctor. I’m 26. I love fashion and I love make up. I smile and talk to my patients and they thank me for it! I know older doctors who have even worse bed side manner than what you are describing. What I’m saying, is don’t generalize. People are how they are because they are individuals. Great read otherwise!

  48. interesting piece .right after a visit to a doctor who was handling my son by his collar ..I had to step in and help clearly clueless and oblivious to handling babies. Babies disarm any well thought organized adult.

    it’s like their mojo .lock target and disarm with chaos or cuteness depending on the moods. And since most of us are clueless till we get a baby …disarmament and babymishandling will continue from both side.
    and yes we do trust those peads who can go gaga over babies and joke around just before they jab the life out of you .

  49. I had to stop and google the word peremptory…ahem! Big word but simple meaning…lol I must be seeing the wrong doctors coz they are all old and weathered which gives me confidence. But the one time I saw a young doc he ended up giving me Pneumonia meds for a common cold which really affected me. So now I’ve vowed to stick to the old geezers with zero personality but know what they are doing!

  50. awesome read Biko, hope Kim alipona. Btw u shd write some stuff abt him
    like u did wt Tamms bfr he grows up 🙂

  51. Great read. Challenge to medical students even as the endeavour to survive med school. I have learnt that despite the military training in med school, their is more to being a doctor than giving a right diagnosis. We are givers of hope. Even when nothing can be done by science,at least we can give hope.

  52. If you think being examined by a young doc is wierd try being interviewed by a guy who looks like a form one, these recruitment agencies though! But on the flip side, am in construction (i work for a contractor so u’ll always find me on site) and i get alot of ‘vote of no confidence’ from some clients coz of my age n ofcourse gender. sigh!

  53. Am past the age of seeing a paed. Having said that, every person needs a doctor with some emotions to heal pretty fast. There was this time I was struggling with some bad insomnia and thought of getting some medication. Was feeling embarrassed to go explain it to a doctor; by then didn’t know grown up people suffer from this. The young doctor I met cracked a joke about it and just like that he made me feel human. I crushed over that doctor for so long to a point of going to look for his full names, family history, his hang out joints et al to get him to marry me,hahahahaha. Too bad I never follow up on my assignments because two years later i checked out his FB status and found he already married someone else. So doctors, can you see the role you play to humanity goes beyond diagnosing patients. You may just be bringing humanity back to its basic.

  54. We’re not born Dr Patels. But we work damn hard to get there. So maybe consider that next time Biko.And yes, I am “12yr old” doctor.

  55. there is ninja at aga khan, prof Riyat, he cried when he he dropped the C word to us when moms had it in 2012. if ever there was a inja that has my utmost respect for his bedside manner it has to be him. brilliant and emotional yet full of optimism and hope! aint no wonder that in 2016, the Moms is well and glory to God.

    my own patel was a chap called Dr. mugo. quite the fellow with his huge ties, soft voice and feathery touch. and his…’oohs…aahm…eehees nd mmmhhms’ you felt yourself literally mend in his genttel resence!

    1. sorry for your mums diagnosis.But actually during med school training when you are giving bad news to the family you are not meant to be emotional and cry.As a doctor you should be the most composed in the room God forbid the family now has to comfort you.

  56. Ati humour of an overflowing ashtray!!!! I DIE!!!!! We shall take screenshots of all posts that mention Tamms and show them to her once you delete them… Muhahahah!!

  57. fter seeing the boy-doctor, I called my pal and said, “That guy was as warm as an alligator and not a day older than the Iphone 6.”

    hehehehe..you had me at that description

  58. Good read Biko *as always* but I have a different opinion. I have LOVED all the young doctors I have seen. When I was expectant I saw a young ob/gynae and he was so good to me. I would go planning to complain about all my aches and pains but when I saw him i instantly felt better. On the other hand I’ve seen Dr. Patels who would look at me once and make a diagnosis there and then and send me on my way,but hey I get that people are different no matter their age. Kim’s doc must have had no experience interacting with young kids. Doctors are human like us too after all

  59. Good read! haha “That guy was as warm as an alligator and not a day older than the Iphone 6.”

  60. My mentor always kept nagging us ton make the patients as comfortable as possible. Good piece sir!

  61. Spot on on the Part that all doctors back in the day were Patel’s. He he he I harbour the same sentiments, all I remember is sagely old muhindi docs who would identify your ailment and treat it without need of a repeat visit. Is it just me or nowadays you need too many repeat visits for the same issue?

  62. And the child is saying, “Nooo!” and they are saying, “Noo, please give me these shoes, I love them! Please,” and the child is slapping their hands away, giggling, and they insist and say, “Come on, let me borrow them for today, I have a party, I will return them tomorrow,” and they’re laughing and saying, “You are too big! They can’t fit!” and he/she pretends to sulk and he/she says, “Come on, they will fit me, here, have mine.“ And before the child realizes it, the doctor has looked at the child’s ears, throat, and listened to their chest.

    Hehehe, I also didn’t see this coming. Great

  63. Big up to Dr Muriithi at Dr Gatheru’s clinic at UHMC. She’s really good with kids even those who are either too afraid of people coz they are less than a year old or afraid of needles coz they are old enough to know what comes when a nurse is holding a needle.

  64. Biko if u want to meet a doctor born to be a paed go see Dr Adil Waris he is a paed chest specialist. He does those tricks of the shoes with my son & he is a gifted Doctor

  65. There is an old doctor from Nyeri, his name is Dr. Ritho. You should see him examining a child, calls him to his side of the desk and examines the child as he makes conversation and within no time, you are thru. Another young female doc, didn’t want my son touching thing on her desk yet my son is very inquisitive, she kept pushing him away in not such a good way. Not to say that all young doctors are bad, there is one who used to have freebees and was also very friendly with my baby

  66. Ha! I had this doctor who had a default smiling face. That was her resting face. So awkward. I thought she would find amusement in my suffering. True though, doctors should be human.

  67. I’ve just remembered how my doctor used to give me lollipops and balloons that had fingers lol. wait.they were gloves sigh

  68. It’s January 2017 and am here. Tamms is definitely a hard one to please, am laughing like crazy over here but again it’s like having Churchil as your housemate, to some point you will find him lame and not funny, we humans!.